A/N: Hey! Yes, I'm still alive, I know it's been a while. I apologize. Work, life, basically "adulting" gets in the way of my writing. Anywho, I'm going to try to get back to my other stories I suddenly stopped. Can't promise a new chapter a week for each unfinished recent story every time, but I promise to stay on top of it as best I can. This topic I'm surprised I haven't read any yet, but maybe I'm starting a trend with this, idk probably because it's so graphic, horrifying, and distressing? Wow, OK bring on the ANGST! WARNING: for like, pretty much anything.
Bruce yawned while flipping through the hundreds of channels on the flatscreen in the makeshift theatre at Avengers Tower. It was almost 7:30 A.M. He gave up the constant battle with the Other Guy on trying to get a regular amount of sleep. And at this time of day, nothing was ever on besides those obnoxious morning shows. He did not care about the latest recipes or styles in fashion or budget cutting. At least he had a roof over his head with people he could trust with anything. He was forever grateful to Tony for being so generous.
"JARVIS," Bruce said quietly. "Pull up the documentaries."
"Of course, Dr. Banner." The wide screen immediately changed to a menu similar to Netflix of probably hundreds of documentaries ranging on every topic. "What genre interests you?"
"Uh..." Bruce rubbed his eyes then put his glasses back on, squinting a little bit. He was not in the mood to here about the latest in alien sightings or anything like Big Foot, so that ruled out about half of them. "History, please."
"Yes sir," The screen changed to a different menu full of documentaries about the many periods of history.
Bruce raised a brow. "World War II." JARVIS narrowed the search even more. "Auschwitz: The Nazis and The Final Solution."
"Subtitles?"
"Please." He took a sip of his coffee, the bitterness jolting him awake more. "Oh, and JARVIS? Lock the door."
"Yes sir..."
"Put Blackfish on just in case...I'm interrupted by...yeah..."
"Very well."
Bruce inhaled slowly, feeling like he was betraying a friend. He was only trying to protect his sometimes-fragile state. Steve had missed a lot when he went under. A lot that could be traumatizing for a soldier like him. They would all have to tell him eventually. Gently.
Steve wiped the sweat off from his brow, his breathing slowing down. He checked his watch in confusion, having no idea how it worked or how it knew what he was looking for. Calories and times popped up on the tiny screen and a "Good job!" for supposedly doing a little more than he did yesterday.
"JARVIS?"
"Yes sir? How can I help you?"
Steve appreciated JARVIS' patience with him. Unlike Tony, he never made fun of him for not understanding everything about today's technology. Steve knew he never meant any harm, but it got annoying every now and then.
"How do I look back to compare this whole week?"
"Tap the screen lightly, sir."
Steve gently tapped it. A bar graph popped up with the days of the week underneath. They were pretty consistent across the board. But that never stopped him from trying to get better and better. Sure, most people think it's easy for him because of the serum. What they do not realize is that it is just as challenging to maintain as it is to get to this physique.
"The showers are heating up for you, sir."
"Thanks, JARVIS." Steve still thought this was a little weird. JARVIS was not his mother, but when you have a genius billionaire who is lazy as a host, well, actually, one could not complain too much. Everyone had what they needed here. Renovations were made after Ultron to add more gyms to work out in and customized rooms that Steve thought were individual apartments that covered the span of the entire floors, and so many mini bars and theaters.
The playboy in Tony will never leave completely.
After cleaning up, Steve went downstairs to the master kitchen, which looked more like a huge bar, and started whipping up some eggs. A crash heard from up above did not even make him flinch, for he was used to this every Friday.
"O Captain, my Captain! How I have missed this place!" A strong arm slapped his shoulder, causing Steve to almost throw his eggs onto the kitchen tiled floor.
"Hey, Thor. Long time, no see." It had only been a little over 24 hours, since every Thursday is "Thor's Day" and the Asgardian chooses that day to visit his father every week. He does not admit this, but he spends most of the day actually searching for his brother, coming up with nothing. Nobody brings it up, though, as it is a very touchy subject.
"JARVIS, do we still have Pop-Tarts?" Thor was already rummaging through the pantry, trying to find more of his favorite breakfast food.
"Miraculously, we have a few boxes left. I've sent a list of necessities to Miss Romanov's phone so she can stop by the grocery store on her way home."
"Such a good little sister, taking on important womanly chores."
Steve chuckled. "You better be glad she is not here to have heard that comment." Natasha was not fond of any sexist jokes that make her sound inferior to the guys. She was far from it, and they knew this well. But it was still fun to poke and prod every now and then.
"Is Anthony still dreaming?"
"I doubt it. He drank a little too much last night. His mind has officially shut off." Bruce poured another cup of coffee then grabbed a Stark Tablet to read the news.
"Then I shall wake him! Breakfast is upon us!" Thor called into the hallway as he made his way to the magic teleportation box that flies into the sky.
The "ding!" announced the Asgardian's arrival on Tony's floor. An empty bottle had been supposedly thrown at the foot of the massive bed, and an annoyed moan brought the lump under the pillows and sheets to life.
"Anthony! Arise! Another beautiful day is upon us!" Thor jerked one of the drapes to the side, letting in total brightness.
"Nnnngh..." Tony rolled over, a hand over his eyes to block out the natural light coming in from the now-opened drapes. "Isn't today your special day to leave and hopefully never return?" So it's quieter...
Thor frowned in confusion. "That was yesterday...today is Friday! My second favorite day! Because I get to see my friends for another week!"
"Yay..." Tony weakly cheered. "Is the sun still coming up?"
"The current time is 9:56 A.M. and the weather-"
"UGH! THOR! Why did you wake me up so early? I had a rough night..." Tony whined. "My head is pounding." He reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out some IB Profin. He rummaged through the blankets, throwing pillows off the bed and found a flask and took his medicine. He moaned in pain. "Coffee..."
"Doctor Banner had some freshly made earlier this morning."
"You mean last night?!"
"I thought morning started at midnight." Thor pointed out in confusion.
"Morning starts when I wake up at 3:30 in the afternoon just in time for our debriefing from Captain Eyepatch at 3:00."
"Come! The Captain has cooked us a wonderful meal of eggs and Pop Tarts!"
"When is it ever anything else?" Tony mumbled as he rolled out of bed. Coffee was more important than wallowing in misery.
"Welcome to the living." Bruce teased as Thor and Tony bellied up to the bar. Tony lazily gave him the finger then reached for the empty coffee cup that Steve handed him.
Tony pulled the cup up to his lips, then flipped it upside down. "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Say please..." Steve lectured.
"Steeeeeve..."
"Close enough."
Tony mumbled. "You're not my mom...JARVIS is..."
"I'm flattered, sir."
When they all started eating, JARVIS announced that Natasha and Clint had arrived, the latter carrying a ton of groceries and threw them lazily on the counter.
"There are bananas in there." Natasha dryly stated. She hated bruised bananas.
"Well, I like mine a little bruised." Clint tried to keep his insides in as he tried to eat the most beat-up banana he had ever seen. "Mmm...yummy..."
"Whatever." She started putting the groceries away, and Steve helped her.
"Isn't it cute when they play house?" Tony mocked.
"Yeah, it's funny how this place magically stays clean and in stock of everything you want." Natasha pulled out some strong vodka from a brown bag, showing it to Tony. "You're welcome."
Tony smiled. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" And that was about the closest she would ever get to receiving a thank-you from Tony Stark.
"So what shall we watch today on Movie Friday?" Thor asked excitedly.
"Nothing to do with Vikings and medieval crap..." Clint prayed as he stirred the sugar in his coffee.
"Bruce, what were you watching this morning?" Steve asked.
Bruce's heart skipped a beat, but his brain did not. "Uh, Blackfish. A documentary about Sea World-"
"And how they are going to suffer for what they've done..." Tony threatened.
"What is this Sea World? I have never heard of this realm." Thor asked. "It sounds exhuberating."
"Why the hate, Tony?" Steve asked.
"Oh, your little heart can't take it. They are monsters. We have to free Willy!"
"What?" Steve and Thor both said, big imaginary question marks above their heads.
"JARVIS! Add it to the list."
"Yes sir."
"At this rate, Movie Friday is going to turn into Movie Lifetime." Natasha rolled her eyes. She could not bear to stay in front of a TV for any longer than 12 hours. And the Bucket List of Movies for Steve and Thor grew exponentially since their first time to save the world. Between that and the TV shows and books, she fears they may turn into hermits before another world disaster.
"Actually, you know what? Let's watch stuff about whales today. I'm inspired."
"Oh boy..." Bruce said. He knew what that meant. Another late night in the lab with another crazy experiment about saving the environment or cancer or something that one man just cannot do alone. He was not ready for that...
"JARVIS! Popcorn!" Tony jumped out of his seat, with sudden energy to walk at a normal pace.
"Tony, dishes." Steve said.
"Yes, Mother Dearest..." Tony sang. "Would you also like me to scrub the terrace, sweep the halls and the chairs, clean the chimneys-"
"CINDERELLA! The old drawing one!" Thor cried out.
"One point added to Master Thor for the 1950 classic Cinderella." JARVIS kept score any time Thor or Steve understood a reference from Tony, and there were many to choose from.
"Aha!" Thor pointed to Steve, who tried not to lose it. "That means the tie has broken and I am in the lead!"
"Only by one point." Steve said.
"Are they really still doing this?" Natasha asked Clint, who was by this point stirring another three servings of sugar in another cup of coffee. She always warned him he would get diabetes because he was not a god or a super soldier but she gave up. It's his funeral.
"Can we watch the new Cinderella with real actors?" Thor pleaded. "I do love the story and reliving it over and over again."
"I wouldn't go that far. It wasn't that good." Clint said. "The acting was lame."
"I agree with Parrotfeet." Tony waved everyone over. "Come on! The popcorn is ready!"
"THOR! PUT THE HAMMER DOWN NOW BEFORE YOU BREAK ANOTHER TV!" Tony yelled. He was mad too, eyes puffy and red from crying like a baby after seeing Blackfish and Free Willy one after another. "I want to bring justice to the cute whales too, but not at the expense of a newly renovated-once again-home theatre. JARVIS."
A computerized shield came up around the TV to protect it from the angered god.
"But we can free them all now! Just like the boy freed Willy!"
"It's not that simple. Technically, it's stealing." Bruce said, mentally chanting his mantra to stay calm through this outburst.
"Well, they stole first from his mother!" Thor pointed his hammer to the TV. Everyone cringed a little, not wanting to clean up another mess. "Natasha, please help me break in."
"Mm...not tonight. It's Movie Friday, and one of our rules is no useless adventures just this one day."
"Tomorrow then."
"Look, big guy. Give me time to hack into the system and we'll try it next week, OK? It will be our top priority." Tony promised.
"When does anything under this roof ever go according to plan?" Clint laughed.
Steve was silent the whole time. How could the world have come to this? He was eager to learn and ease into the 21st century, but this was almost too much to handle. These magnificent creatures deserve freedom. Steve felt numb, not sure what to do.
"Capsicle? Do we need to thaw you out again?" Tony interrupted his thoughts.
"No thanks, I just...why?"
"It's time you realized not ever super villain has super powers...sometimes the real threat is everyday people on the street." Tony sniffed then rubbed his hands together. "I need a drink. Anyone?"
"I would love some coffee." Thor raised his hand.
"OK, was not talking about that kind of drink but whatever."
"Come on, guys, let's go make our own so Tony doesn't spike our drinks again." Natasha reminded everyone. Tony and his experiments never stop. Last time was bad.
"Steve, you coming?" Bruce asked.
"You go ahead. I'll catch up."
"I know it's tough seeing how the world is. But we're here if you need to talk about it."
"Thanks, Bruce."
Bruce hesitated for a second, staring at the picture of the whale and then left. Steve could not tear his eyes away from the whale that was one of many who have been brutally mistreated. Curiosity made him ask JARVIS to pull up the main page of documentaries.
"History" was at the top with several different pictures including the whale in a line.
Auschwitz: The Nazis and The Final Solution
Nazis...Hitler...World War II...
Steve's stomach jumped into his throat. They said we won. They didn't say what we lost.
"JARVIS...play from the beginning."
Pause. "I would strongly advise against it, sir. Perhaps another time when-"
"Play it." Steve said a little more sternly.
"As you wish."
1942
Steve gulped. That was the year he went under. He had no idea this existed. Everyone told him that they won and kicked Nazi and Japanese ass, but no details. Why?
Pictures and video footage flashed across the screen. People who looked like skeletons were being tortured beyond reason and brutally murdered. Men, women, and even children were at the mercy of Hitler. The piles of bodies made Steve feel smaller than ever before.
He was scared.
"Hey, where's Cap?" Tony asked, already pouring a second refill as they were walking down the hallway towards the theatre.
"He just needed some time to recover after what he just saw." Bruce explained. "Sea World I'm sure has been scratched off the list."
"I agree." Thor said. "Tis an injustice for such magnificent creatures. But I shall bring justice to the mighty orcas!"
Bruce heard something eerily familiar as they approached the doors. Oh no.
"Guys, I think he just found out about you-know-what."
"What?" Thor asked. Everyone had solemn expressions on their faces as they quietly entered the dark theatre.
Steve was resting his forearms on his knees, feet bouncing on the balls so fast he looked like he was having a spasm. Eyes were filled with water, and they could have sworn they heard his heart pounding against his chest.
"Turn it off, JARVIS..." Tony said, staring at the old pictures of the concentration camps. He casually walked up to Steve and held out a hand. "Come on, Cap. Let's get some fresh air."
Steve sat there staring at his friend's hand. He could feel everybody's uncomfortable presence around him. It was suffocating. What could he say? In less than ten minutes, an emotional night turned into another episode of PTSD.
He took Tony's hand to get himself up and neither said a word as they left the Tower together.
The rest of the Avengers stayed silent for an awkward minute before Thor could not take it any more.
"I say we change the night into something a little more pleasant. I am not good with these moments."
"You and me both." Clint felt like he wanted to hide in the ventilation system. To get away from this. "JARVIS! YouTube please!"
"Good choice, Agent Barton." Even JARVIS sounded relieved.
Steve did not realize how scary it was to not remember what had happened right under his nose all those years ago. Sure, Red Skull was his top priority, but how could he forget about the real enemy? Hitler and the rest of the Nazi Party? If only he could have been informed of this...
Maybe he did? He could not recall orders, and most of the Allies did not enter a camp until after the war was just about over. It was not his fault, but-
"It's ok..." Tony finally broke the silence. "I know coming from me this is really weird, but there is no way you could have known. I mean, you did save the planet for crying out loud!"
"Six...million..." Steve felt like he was suffocating. "I don't even know how many people that is."
Not quite New York City. Tony thought to himself. But still...
Steve continued. "Why..." He sighed.
"Because there are people who do bad things on purpose, and there are people that don't give a damn about anything or anyone and are willing to bring suffering just because they can." Tony was getting worked up. If he could go back in time.
"I could've..."
"You basically died." Tony stopped himself, scared he had gone too far. "There was nothing you could have done. Please do not blame yourself for something that was way out of your control. Please. And this is coming from the master of a that." Tony closed his eyes. "Look..."
"Tony," Steve stopped walking. "Nobody deserves to go through that."
I did. Tony shuttered as he thought back to when he was a POW.
Silence once again took over, as nothing could be said to make it any better. Unfortunately, it happened. Now, in the 21st century, it can be prevented, if they stick together and try to make the world a better place. Cheesy, but doable.
"No, they don't..."
"And I think Bruce was watching it this morning..." Steve remembered. "He acted kinda suspicious..."
"Look, we were just trying to protect you. I know you have a lot to adapt to and shit has hit the fan so many times since the Avengers started, we wanted you to take one step at a time. That was my idea, so my fault."
"No, I understand." Steve knew Tony understood PTSD more than anybody. And he was his friend. Tony messed around a lot, but he was a good friend he could always ask for support. Steve thought of Bucky, wondering still where he was and remembering how he was always looking out for him back then like the Avengers are doing now. They were not just a team of superheroes any more. Almost like a broken family. If Bucky were here, things would be better, he thought. I just wish I knew what to do.
"Like I said, we just keep doing the best we can to help people...and whales."
"Definitely the whales," Steve smiled. He was starting to feel a little better.
"You'll be OK, hell-"
"Language."
"Yes, Mother. If I can do it, you can definitely do it."
"Thanks, Tony." Steve threw his arm around his shoulder.
"Oh no...more manly tears." Tony sarcastically remarked.
When they made it back to the Tower, everyone stopped laughing at the cat playing the piano and stood up.
"You guys OK?" Bruce asked nervously.
Tony looked at Steve, who answered kind of relieved. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
"We're so sorry, Steve." Natasha said for the group. She came up and hugged him. "We just wanted to-"
"I know. There's no need to apologize. I just..." Steve started shaking, his stomach in knots still. He coughed. "If you'll just excuse me a minute." He gently broke the hug and walked quickly to the elevator.
I thought I was OK. Pull it together Rogers.
His heart was beating against his chest. He punched the wall so hard, his knuckles bled and there was a dent. He started pacing in circles, going faster and faster until...
"Steve..." Tony looked scared, eyes wide with concern. "It's OK..."
"No, it's not..."
"Just teach that wall a lesson, then. You'll feel better..."
"No, I won't..."
"Steve..."
He punched the wall again, letting out a moan of pain. He sat down on a bench, holding his head.
"Why can't I get over it? Why do I keep doing this? What is wrong with me? I want it to go away." Steve was hysterical, mumbling to himself.
He did not know how long he was like this, but he looked up when he felt a presence in front of him. Tony was knelt on the ground again like before looking up at him. He was not scared of Steve, he trusted him. If he got punched in the face, well, it was not his first rodeo. He wanted to be there for Steve, let him know he was safe with him.
Steve started to breath a little easier, shaky, but better. "I'm sorry, Tony..."
"Don't ever be sorry, Steve." Tony said quietly. "You know I've always got your back, no matter what. It's just you and me, buddy."
Steve fought back tears, feeling embarrassed in front of Tony. He was Captain America! A lot of people rely on him, and he was just a total meltdown. Pre-serum, he was so much more stubborn and headstrong, none of those beatings really got to him. But now? Why is he so sensitive?
How am I supposed to help people if I can't even help myself?
That night, Steve woke up with nightmares plaguing him. JARVIS immediately turned on the lights and started playing classical music to calm him down. A couple hours later, Steve finally went back to sleep.
Sixteen days later, it was still going on.
Honestly, there were more good days than bad, but the bad days strained everyone in addition to Steve. They all felt so helpless. What do you say to someone who has been through what he has been through? This second life has proven to be both a blessing and a curse for the young captain who just cannot let go of the past.
Another three days went by, and Steve finally emerged from his room and went to workout, back on normal schedule. Everybody went along about their business like nothing had ever happened. And Steve appreciated that. If he wanted a therapy session, he would ask. He felt better for now, knowing the only thing he could worry about was the hear and now.
Tony got curious in the lab and had JARVIS pull up surveillance of Steve's room. He was surprised to see the room clean after it being a mess not a week ago. There were new drawings he zoomed in on of soldiers helping victims of the Holocaust, and hummed to himself.
Steve was going to be fine. They would continue to help him cope with this new world he was thrown into. He figured, when Steve was ready, he would take him to the Holocaust museum and they could make a donation under Steve's name. Either way, he would always look out for his best friend.
The Holocaust was one of the most devastating events in history, with many people still believing it was a hoax. But for those who know the truth, they continue to honor and remember those innocent lives who were lost.