Heaven Beside You
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The setting sun illuminated the rolling green hills that surrounded the church. The church itself was hundred of years old, the crumbling stone and rusted bell made it a fairytale-like existence as the whispering wind snuck through the trees telling every leaf and creature of its presence. Tiny acorns were scattered under the trees and squirrels nervously skittered by snatching them away. The amber glow of the sun sparkled off of the trickling creek that snuck behind the church, winding and bending through forgotten land and unknown secrets. Every bird sung a song of beauty and truth, and a handful of clouds dotted the sky as the sparkles of the nights' stars started to shine through. Patches of daisies and pansies and a hundred types of flowers that couldn't be named for they were beyond creation, beyond beauty, their presence did the work of a thousand candles but however bright and beautiful they were, the Doctor could only see the darkness.
His long fingers trembled as they remained squeezed around the stems of a dozen different types of roses, he didn't know her favourite type of flower – he had never asked, he chose the roses because of the sentiment that their name held for him. He looked at the green stems whose ends were wilting; the vibrancy had seemed to fade from every petal of every flower. Their fragrant scent attacked his nostrils and he tried not to breathe hoping the smell would pass but it just became stronger and stronger attacking his senses, he knew he was barely holding it together, but he had to, for her. He'd promised her.
'Rose? Rose?' the Doctors' yells reverberated through the tiny chamber.
'In here' he heard the weak reply from a voice. He knew that voice, the tone of it, the softness, he knew the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach every time he heard that voice. His hands shook as he fumbled through his pockets searching for the Sonic Screwdriver, finally his sweaty fingers closed in around the cool metal handle as he yanked it out. He held the button down and tried to stay still as he aimed for the lock – if only his hands would stop shaking. The door finally groaned and slowly swung open as the Doctor pushed it, his shoulders against its frame, the door jerked suddenly and the Doctor stumbled through its passage. He froze as his pupils adjusted to the poor lighting of the dark chamber; his eyes frantically darted around the room until they met the unwavering gaze of the hazel eyes staring blankly out of the darkness.
The Doctor lowered himself to his knees feeling the wetness of the grass seeping through his trousers onto his skin, it burned at him and he relished in it – it was the only thing he could feel because as far as he was concerned he was dead inside. He sat down with his legs tucked under him and closed his eyes on the sobs that were bursting to escape – there was only thing playing over and over in his mind.
He stood frozen in time and space just staring at her, as his eyes began to focus the outlines of her body began to show more clearly. He could see the chains that held her arms to the wall and the shackles that trapped her tiny ankles to the floor. He watched the blood drip fast and steadily from the gashes that laced her body and there was nothing he could do but stare. He began to walk towards her – his legs had turned to concrete blocks below him and he practically had to drag them. He finally stopped in front of her and saw the life begin to fade from her beautiful eyes. Her fingers clenched against the pain but she never broke eye contact with him it wasn't until he stood directly in front of her that a small smile passed over her lips.
'My Doctor, you came' she whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming. His brown eyes filled with pain and horror as he listened to her words
'I'm going to get you out' he promised her – he vowed it to himself knowing he couldn't live with himself otherwise. She briefly shook her head closing her eyes on the pain, she stretched her fingers out to him and he lent towards her hand. He closed his eyes as her fingers gently grazed his cheek.
'My brave Doctor. Thank you, thank you for so much, for taking me with you' he tried to keep his eyes closed, to keep the tears from falling down his face but when he looked up he saw her cheeks already wet with tears.
'I couldn't of done it without you' he whispered 'none of it'
She smiled gently at him again
'Please, keep travelling, keep doing what we believed in, but don't ever forget me' she warned with a small smile still decorating her lips.
'How can I without you?' he begged. She let out a whimper and dropped her last tear as her eyes told him all the truths in the world.
'My darling Doctor, I love you…' she barely whispered as her head gently fell forward. Her body was limp and lifeless, her skin pale and dull. The Doctor wiped away her last tears as his own began to fall.
'It funny' he whispered to her lifeless body, to his companion, to the only woman who had ever made sense to him, to his Rose, 'I've loved you so much and in so different ways and now you'll never know'. He then dropped to his knees in a puddle of her blood and let the storm of emotion ride through him.
The Doctor raised his face to the sun and squeezed his eyes shut trying so hard not to give into the torrent of emotion within him. He slowly lowered his head and let his eyes fall onto the dark granite stone that lay before a dozen bouquets of flowers.
Rose Tyler
1987 – 2006
Forever in our memories,
A wonderful daughter and faithful friend
She was too good for this world
Rest In Peace
The Doctor read the words over and over again, not believing them to be true – but he knew they had to be for he was there. He finally dropped the bouquet of roses beside her grave as he stood, he lent his hand against the cold stone that scratched his hand, he couldn't accept the fact that underneath all these piles of dirt her beautiful body lay. He slowly walked towards the creek, tears beginning to stain his face. Behind him the note card had fluttered out of the bouquet and settled against the stone, the words were barely readable.
See you in time for it's never goodbye
The Doctor slowly dropped to the floor as he hunched himself forward. He rested his head against his knees which were propped up and let the sobs come freely. His whole body shook with emotion as he released his soul.
A few hours later the Doctor looked up at the squirell that sat underneath the tree watching him, dried tears stained his cheeks and his fists were clenched.
'Do you know what its like, being alone?' his tortured whisper began. He took several deep jagged breaths in and closed his eyes against the world. Then he whispered for only Rose to hear, 'like the coldest winter chill – heaven beside you, hell within'
For the Doctor had never known how alone he truly was until the one person he had in the universe had left him. All around him the world carried on in its daily routine, birds tweeting and fish swimming, but the Doctor remained at Roses' grave for he could be with her forever – in his memories.
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