Author's Note: This is before the episode when Cartman murders all of his stuffed animals. Or it doesn't really matter. It's just from Cartman's POV, and about how important his stuffed animals are to him, and who he is like when he is in his bedroom alone, away from his friends... And how much he loves his mom, even though he uses her a lot and is a total dick most of the time. So he starts wondering if she actually loves him or if she gets so drunk because of who he is as a person.

Cartman POV

I was crying to my stuffed animals again after Craig had told me to.

How did he know I went home and did that? Didn't everyone when they had no one to talk to about this crap?

Sure, I had my mom, but she was a total lush who never remembered anything from the night before, or even how many beers she drank.

Why did she drink so much anyway? What was she compensating for?

Me? Was that it? Was she compensating for me being her son?

No, it couldn't be that...

Why did she think her life was so...so shitty? It wasn't like she had Kyle as her friend. And we had TV. Terrance and Phillip was a pretty good show, too...

Except for Family Guy. GOD, I HATED FAMILY GUY!

And Kyle.

But why was my mom so sad in the head?

How could it be because of me? I was the one who took care of her when she came home totally wasted. Usually around that time when she got wasted, Mr. Kitty would have his friends over. And Shelly never came over to babysit me anymore, because I told on her for having her boyfriend over. I didn't even understand how she even had a boyfriend when she was so ugly.

She knew she was ugly, though, so I didn't tell her she was until she told me.

So Mr. Kitty had all his friends over. They were all sitting on the couch, the rest of them...

Some of them looked familiar. And some of them didn't. He probably took advantage of having a party since my mom was a total lush.

And that was not cool. I wanted to tell him that, so I did. I decided it was my time to be the responsible adult. Because I didn't want to get into trouble in case my mom ever came out of it...

Which happened sometimes. And I hated being grounded. Mr. Kitty never got grounded, and I was a little jealous...

So I would always put up a spy camera just in case.

Anyway. I threw up a middle finger at the cat who was jacking off on the couch that said, "Bad Kitty," and added, "that's a bad Mr. Kitty!"

His eyes grew big. Like he knew he was gonna get it if he didn't get all his friends out of the house. Because I didn't wanna clean the mess up! Just the McDonalds I would order from Postmates with the money mom would get from being a whore. She forgot about it in the morning.

I guess it was kind of a dick move to throw up a middle finger at him, but he deserved it for being an asshole...

When was I ever an asshole to him? NEVER!

I told him off again. I said to him, "You can jack off hyah, but don't get laid inside. Okay?"

So he took his friends all out, his tail wagging away, and I was left with my mom.

She looked up at me and said, "I love you, Eric," while her eyes looked faded while they were trying to figure out where I was. Even though I was right in front of her.

I took her upstairs. I should've gotten that money she got from fucking that dude in the car...

Even though I didn't fuck him. But whatever. I did what I wanted. And I was helping her this time, so...

Suck my balls.

After she tells me she loves me, I almost want to cry. Because she is drunk, and I am her son, and I do not know if that is only why she is saying it. She had to be around me all those times I was a bad son!

It's not my fault I have Kyle as a friend. I have to do what I have to do, sometimes...

My head feels sick. And I'm not the one who's drunk. Hardcore wasted.

Eck. I hate this. I hate helping people, but she's my mom...

And I love her.

Right?

RIGHT?

Yeah, Kyle, I'm not a fucking psychopath! I love my mom! I think in my head.

Of course I do... And I'd tell him tomorrow and brag about it. Helping my mom.

She looked like she had a stroke when she said those words, though. But I didn't laugh at her. Because this wasn't Butters.

This was my mom. And I had to be pure this time.

Hah!

So I just said back, "I love you, too, mom," because I meant it when I took her up to her bed.

Or I wouldn't of helped her. Because I wasn't a helping people kind of person.

I wasn't really a person at all, actually, and they all knew that.

But tonight I was.

My mom, though, was always a little wobbly. So it didn't shock me when it looked like she was having a stroke. She wasn't. She just looked like it, so I knew she'd be fine in the morning.

She was always fine...

Poopsykins? Morning, Poopsykins... I made you pancakes! She would say in the morning.

I couldn't wait for the pancakes. I loved my mom. Kyle never made me pancakes. Fuck Kyle. He's an asshole.

I tucked her into bed. Then the blue blanket was over her, warm. I walked into my room after that. After I knew she was warm and safe.

And that was when I cried to my stuffed animals.