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Under New Management

"COULD A MORON…PUNCH…YOU…INTO…THIS…PIT! HUH? COULD A MORON DO THAT!"

The banging sounds from above gave the two robots even more reason not to leave their little hiding spot. The spherical robot kept guard over the taller, slimmer robot as they watched their former boss (now a potato) fall down the elevator shaft with the quiet lady.

He was in charge now. The one their boss called "The Idiot Ball" somehow gained control over their fair facility. "I'm not a moron…" they heard him mutter. The tall robot wanted to leave and investigate, but the spherical robot said it wasn't safe. The other automatons within the facility were quick to bow down to their new "King" and when he started shouting orders about renovations and new policies, the two robots knew only bad things would come of this.

The two robots in question weren't like any of the others within the facility. These two were special. Their boss made them specifically for testing and to help out with whatever it was she needed done. Their behavior akin to young adults but their mentality that of curious children, these two were lovingly named "The Cooperative Testing Initiative".

The spherical robot (having male qualities such as overconfidence and a smug attitude as well as super strength) was called "Blue" by their boss. When he protested he wanted to be called "ATLAS" (after reading a book on mythology he and his partner had found while roaming around the facility), his boss scoffed and said, "Whatever…"

The tall, slim robot (having female qualities and a more feminine form) was a curious little thing, somewhat impish in her behavior. Though her boss called her "Orange", her partner called her "P-Body", for her slim frame and careful nature. She adopted this moniker with pride. Once again, their boss said, "Whatever…" and just continued to call them "Orange and Blue".

Blue and Orange, ATLAS and P-Body, whatever once chose, these two were special. Their boss (GLaDOS, according to the writing on the giant disks above her chassis), made them to be special. They weren't sure why they were so unique, as the other bots in the facility were mostly mechanical Yes-Men. Maybe, though they knew she'd deny it, GLaDOS was lonely and needed something to keep her truly entertained.

Who knew? ATLAS felt their existence was mostly for their boss's amusement and not for science, as she kept telling them. "Tomorrow you'll begin testing…as soon as I'm rid of a certain mute nuisance and her little metal idiot. Get plenty of rest, you two. You have a big day tomorrow."

That was the last thing she told them before the horrible banging noise and the crash and the sudden swoosh of the elevator shaft claiming their boss (now a potato) and the mute lady. ATLAS told P-Body each time she tried to venture out of their hiding spot that they needed to wait. ATLAS's sensors picked up a faint signal deep below them, and he knew their boss was still alive. P-Body made a sighing motion and sat back down again as ATLAS went about rearranging their hidey-hole.

Not as spacious as the Hub, but it had to do. That was ATLAS's reasoning, anyway. It was too dangerous for them to roam around with the metal moron in charge of things. When things started heating up between the mute woman and their boss, ATLAS took P-Body's hand and rushed her to a piece of broken wall. The facility was rather old, but this little piece of broken wall led right into an observation area where they could monitor everything. However, since the facility was indeed still in need of repairs and the door was blocked by debris, the only way into this observation room was through the wall. This little hidey-hole, as P-Body was calling it in their robot language, was the closest thing they could call home.

Despite ATLAS's warnings, P-Body didn't want to stay cooped up in the wall, waiting for their boss. She wanted to explore like they did before all this chaos happened. She wanted to stretch her legs and charge up in the Hub every time she felt like shutting down. ATLAS eventually found two cables and said they can hook up to the computers in the observation area to charge up. And with that, as ATLAS helped her plug herself into the computer, went the only real excuse she could use to get out of the hidey-hole.

Whenever something shook, P-Body immediately ran to one of the computer monitors and started up the security feed. Only about two days had passed since their boss went underground, but it felt like an eternity to the robots. ATLAS kept insisting they wait for their boss before venturing out.

P-Body was starting to resent her partner. She was starting to dislike how hypocritical he was becoming. He told her to stay put while he ventured out to check on things. ATLAS got to stretch his legs and see the goings on around the facility. P-Body was left to the security feed of the Central A.I. Chamber and its new master. Sometimes, ATLAS didn't come back from his inspections and all P-Body had were the security feeds to keep her company as things fell apart around the facility.

She often only glanced at each feed as she browsed them but she'd always stop on the Central A.I. Chamber feed. That's where he stayed. The new "King" of Aperture, Wheatley or "the Intelligence Dampening Sphere" as his files called him. Who named him Wheatley was often a question P-Body put forth to herself as she zoomed in and out on the security monitors of the chamber.

Most of the time, Wheatley did nothing but coil around and build odd things with the weighted storage cubes and turrets. P-Body didn't like the turrets very much, so in her little (artificial) mind, they got what was coming to them. They were terrible conversationalists, and even then they were always trying to kill P-Body and her partner.

P-Body wasn't sure how long ATLAS had been gone at this point, but she was starting to get worried. P-Body couldn't occupy herself anymore in the hidey-hole. Though she had found a hobby in tinkering with spare parts and scraps, she was running out of materials. ATLAS was nice enough to go out and find some more materials for her, but P-Body saw it more as an excuse to leave when she couldn't. She grumbled a bit and decided it was time to take a look around.

Making sure there were no turrets around to muck everything up, P-Body left the hidey-hole and made her way around the catwalk of the maintenance area. P-Body was never sure why ATLAS forbad her to leave. It wasn't like he could reach them back there. He was too stupid to even try. It'd be like shooting in the dark while blindfolded.

P-Body wondered if hiding was even a good idea. Did Wheatley even know they existed? He had to at least have an uttering suspicion of them; otherwise ATLAS had her waiting around for him for nothing.

Whether out of frustration or worry, P-Body wouldn't acknowledge. She got up from her spot and decided to leave the hidey-hole and venture out to find ATLAS. Why should he have all the fun? Why should I have to stay cooped up while he gets to explore? I bet he found something fun and doesn't want to share it with me! She thought, as the gears in her head turned out of frustration. P-Body mustered up everything she had and after counting to three a few times, she left the hidey-hole and starting her search for ATLAS.

Within the Central A.I. Chamber, Wheatley was still figuring out how to use everything. He was frustrated that GLaDOS wasn't even nice enough to leave behind instructions, so he mostly guessed. How could someone be so selfish? He shook his chassis in anger and went back to tearing about turrets.

"URG! THESE FILES ARE USELESS!" he shouted, as he ripped another turret apart furiously. "Why wouldn't she have more detailed instructions? Test subjects? WHERE ARE THE BLOODY TEST SUBJECTS?" he kept shouting as he twisted another turret and weighted storage container into some kind of crab-like monstrosity. "Any decent being would have at least left a few for me to cope with until I found more, but noooo! Leave poor Wheatley in charge of everything while you go and have fun with your smelly human friend!"

The metal claws yanked another turret apart as he zoomed through the files in his new body. "How to make turrets…no…how to keep the test chambers clean when the janitorial staff is on mandatory leave…no, that won't help either. Helper bot maintenance…helper bot?"

Wheatley opened the file but found mostly nonsensical coding. GLaDOS would do everything she could to keep the wrong elements from finding her great discoveries. But a helper bot could actually be useful. It could help him make test subjects or even be test subjects! One problem…Wheatley didn't know how to use GLaDOS's internal decoding program. A helper bot could help him do that as soon as he made one…oh, wait…

"Damn her!" he shouted. "She must have known I'd try…she's a lot more clever than I gave her credit for. I bet that human helped her, too...or maybe even a helper bot! That's it!" Wheatley looked over the files again and found at the bottom the words COMPLETED: TWO BOTS at the very bottom. She did make them. Right beside that, it said "Continued onto next page: Cooperative Testing Initiative". He decided to read that later, as it obviously wasn't important enough to be included on the first page.

"All I need to do is find those two helper bots!" he sang as he pulled down the monitors. After a few tries (once getting static, and once accidently interrupting a cable TV reception), Wheatley opened up the security feeds from all over the facility. "I doubt she put them into sleep mode, I would have found them like the other bots in sleep mode. They must be roaming around. Ohhh, Wheatley, you clever, clever, sphere!" he sang again as he looked over each security feed.

His internal commands made him fast forward each feed until he came across a very slender robot treading carefully within the facility. The facility itself (except the test chambers) had been long abandoned; for how long, no one could guess (certainly not Wheatley, anyway). "That must be one of them…" he muttered. Wheatley watched as the slender bot slowly made her way through the old hallways and broken walls.

"Hello, out there!" Wheatley shouted over the P.A. system. P-Body looked around and shook softly where she stood. "No, no, don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. Are you a helper bot? I've been looking for one. She didn't leave me any do…help me. If not, do you think you can help me find a helper bot?"

P-Body seemed confused. She slowly walked over to a door and pressed some buttons near a control console. "Yes, that does do something, but it doesn't help me right now, dear." Wheatley shouted over the P.A. system again. P-Body held one finger up to the camera and continued what she was doing. After a few dings, the wall opened up. P-Body made her way into the inner workings of the facility. "Umm…hello? Yes, I can't see you back there, could you come back within my view? The cameras don't…go back there for some reason."

As if he could feel it, Wheatley knew P-Body was on her way. "Alright, I'm sure you're probably ignoring me, but I can sense you…coming my way. So, I'll keep this short. I know your former boss didn't leave you much instruction, but I do desperately need to find some test subjects. It's…very, very…very, very important that we find some test subjects and soon."

Giggling in her own little robot chatter, P-Body kept going. "So, how about this: you help me find some test subjects, and I'll do something nice for you. See how that works? You scratch my chassis, and I scratch yours. Does that sound fair? I do hope so, because I got an itch that…just…will…not…scratch…ITSELF!"

When Wheatley shouted that last phrase, P-Body felt the facility shake violently. P-Body looked up and saw pieces of the wall fall out of place. Her sensors were picking up something bad, but she ignored it. ATLAS would have reprimanded her for doing such an action. But she reminded herself that ATLAS wasn't here. He had to be selfish and leave her alone again with nothing but the security monitors as company. P-Body knew that if he really did care, he would have come back by now.

Eventually, P-Body made her way to the Central A.I. Chamber and saw the "renovations" being done. Not really resembling a giant dark dome anymore, it looked like someone was moving and didn't unpack. Carefully, P-Body made her way along the catwalk above and found the door into the room proper. The automatic door was on the fritz but it opened long enough for P-Body to make her way in. Above her, coiled the new king of Aperture Science.

"Oh, well…hello, there." He murmured softly. "Am I to assume you've come to help me with my plight?" he asked, coming down to look at her. P-Body did nothing, she was too scared. "No, no, don't be afraid of me. I know I'm massive, bloody massive at that, but I won't hurt you, love. Promise. Now, if you don't mind…could you…give me a hand here?"

Looking over, Wheatley directed P-Body to a pile of broken turrets. "While you were on your way, I decided to try and get my new subjects to work. I can't seem to get them going, however. I tried yelling at them, threatening them with incineration, and poking them with a metal stick I found, but they don't seem to want to work. What do you think I should do?"

Someone was asking P-Body what she thought. That was certainly new. Usually, whenever she voiced an opinion, ATLAS would only nod and go back to what he was doing. P-Body didn't appreciate how distracted ATLAS was lately, but it was refreshing to find someone who was interesting in her tinkering hobby.

P-Body sat down and took a look at one of the crab things that Wheatley had been playing with. It looked like it wanted to work, but each time it tried to walk, it would malfunction. "Yes, you see, at some point I do plan on getting them to stop…smoldering…so, don't judge just yet…" P-Body took one of the creatures (which she dubbed "Frakenturrets" in her mind) and started tinkering with it. Wheatley came in for a closer look and coiled back whenever P-Body gave him a nasty look. After about a half hour, P-Body presented her finished product.

It wasn't much different, but the little Frankenturret crawled and hopped along happily. P-Body waved to it as it hopped off. "Brilliant!" Wheatley shouted, picking it up with a metal hook. "Can you show me how to make more of these? I would really appreciate it." Wheatley squinted his eye lids to smile as P-Body chattered something. "Payment? What, you want scraps? Oh, of course! Use whatever you need, I won't bat an eyelash. If I had any eyelashes, I wouldn't bat them, anyway. I need a few of these little guys, if you don't mind. Twenty…no, thirty…no, one hundred at least! Please, do hurry! The itch is starting to get a bit unbearable…"

P-Body squinted, as if smiling, and happily beeped her response. "Oh, umm…right, something to carry the spare parts in…Ummm…hmmm…" Wheatley coiled around and looked around. "Well, I found this sack full of stuff earlier; I guess you can use that."

After dumping out the garbage, P-Body put the spare Franken turret parts inside and started lugging it away. "I expect to see great things from you, love! And if you can, find the other bot and get them to help you too! I got big things planned for the facility! And it will all be thanks to you!"

P-Body made her way back to the hidey-hole only to be greeted by ATLAS's angry chattering. "I told you it was too dangerous to leave! Why didn't you wait for me like I told you? He could have found you and tore you to pieces like those turrets! And what's in that bag?" ATLAS chattered in their robot language. Without even asking her if it was alright, ATLAS snatched the bag away and peered inside. He only glared at P-Body and shoved the bag back in her arms. "You left so you could steal from him, huh? Well, I bring you all the supplies you need. Next time I tell you to stay put, you stay put!"

ATLAS walked off to the console to recharge himself. P-Body could tell by her scans that he was only low on power and that little outburst didn't help. P-Body sat next to him as he entered sleep mode and leaned against him, trying to cuddle close. What he brought her didn't look like it was at least three days' worth of exploring the facility. P-Body was starting to believe ATLAS wasn't looking for supplies for her to build things. Whatever he really was doing during this time, P-Body wasn't sure she really cared.

Getting up slowly, P-Body meandered over to the console to check the security feed. She pressed the button a few times and the monitor eventually stopped on the Central A.I. Chamber. Watching Wheatley coil around while the metal claws tore more turrets apart for "Frankenturrets", P-Body placed her little hand on the screen and cooed softly. He had paid attention to her when he could have just ignored her or destroyed her. Though she wasn't sure whether he was intellectually capable of either, P-Body felt happy to be useful.

ATLAS stayed powered down for a good few hours while P-Body tinkered with her new projects. Her little "objet d'art" that she had been working on was still in its conception stage and now she could get started on it. While she herself wasn't sure what she was making, old parts from around the facility sure made it easier. But the spare parts Wheatley let her have made it special.

P-Body glanced over at the monitor every so often and watched as Wheatley messed up Frankenturret after Frankenturret. She made a chuckling motion and went back to her project. She felt, deep in her systems, that only good things can come from her newfound friendship with the Idiot Sphere. What started out as just another project was starting to turn into a gift. She was a long way from done, but P-Body knew she was going to enjoy every step of it.

If she could blush (or even had cheeks), P-Body would. She put down her project and sat in front of the monitor, which was now permanently fixed on Wheatley. She felt her mechanical heart flutter a bit (she decided to do a diagnostic on herself next sleep cycle just in case that wasn't normal) and made a longing sighing motion.

She squinted her eye and cooed softly, leaning against one arm. She had a good feeling about this partnership.

N'cha, everyone!

Luna Peachie here with just a little side project I'm going to be working on between chapters of my more major fic "Reconstructing Humanity". This one won't be long, it's just an idea I had swimming around in my head for a little while and I figured, since the time between chapters was taking too long, that now might be a good time to start doing a few side projects. Mostly to keep my mind busy.

Been going through a lot, lately. Boyfriend dumping me and later discovering he was seeing someone else behind my back. A friend told me guys rarely go from something to nothing and though I know he doesn't represent the entire male population of the world, it's sadly kind of true. Oh well…that just means I have more time to dedicate to getting my fics out in a timely manner. But now…I do have a lot of spare time, so it's a bit of a mixed bag…hmmm…

Anyway, enough sadness! Today is a happy day! This story idea was something I actually had swimming around in my head long before I started doing "Reconstructing Humanity" but I couldn't get the idea to work at that time. For some reason, I always pictured P-Body as the type to tinker with stuff, and that will be a central focus in this short story. Don't expect a lot of on time updates from this one, as I said, it's merely a side project.

It's your basic "have a crush on someone" story. Yes, it's one of those. Don't judge me! I noticed there aren't any Wheatley/P-Body stories here. Well, I aim to change that!

Viva la revolution!

So, here it is my lovely side-project! I'd love to know how I did, so please review and be merry, my doves!

GLaDOS, Chell, Wheatley, ATLAS, and P-Body belong to Valve.