Hello! This is my first fanfiction so any suggest full comments would be nice so that I can improve my writing. Also if you see any grammar errors let me know. I proofread 3 times before updating, but sometimes I miss some.
Dear Diary,
My first night alone is terrible. I knew that my parents never really wanted me except for me to get money. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense that they would leave me here. I guess I really blew it this time. Today is my birthday and it ended in a disaster. Earlier today, we were just sitting in the living room. Mom and dad gave me a piece of bread for my birthday and my brother, Longwei gave me a blue hair ribbon. Of course I said 'Thank you.' That wasn't the reason why they dumped me in an alley, with only what I have on, in the middle of November. My younger brother was being stupid. I was in my bedroom doing some homework. He came in and decided to light the actual paper lantern on fire and lay it on the ground.
A fire started. I grabbed him and threw him out the window. Yelling 'Fire!', I grabbed a picture of my twin and I and leaped out the window after him. My dad was livid. He got the fire out of course. Afterwards though, he stormed up to me and took out his wrath on me. I was smacked to the ground. Holding my stinging cheek, I looked up at him. "What the crap happened?" My brother looked at his feet. Mom grabbed him in a hug and refused to look at me. "Well?" he snarled. Naturally I was the one to blame, because I was older and should have known better and that my brother is perfect. Yeah right, my 10th birthday is the worst one so far in my entire life. Dad literally whipped me, then hit me with his bamboo staff . That wasn't it though. He grabbed me and started to begin the usual beating that I have become accustomed too. I ducked my head and the only time I ever looked up was when he raked his claws across my face. That was new.
"Get over here, you worthless piece of crap" my mother snarled. My dad grabbed me by the neck and jerked me to walk with him. The rest of my family fell in beside him. At the edge of Stone City, they kicked me into an alley. "Just so you don't get any ideas." my dad sneered. Quickly, a foot connected with the side of my face. They left rather hurriedly after that. Bruised and bloody, I dragged myself behind a restaurant. Gazing down at my torn clothes and fur, hot tears poured relentlessly down. In a nearby puddle, my reflection sorrowfully gazed back at me. I gazed at the girl. She was a white tiger, rare and beautiful. All I could see was the mistake I was.
Once my heart wrenching sobs stopped, I crawled into a nearby radish box. That is where I am right now. I always keep you inside of my tunic and now a picture of me and my twin, Ming Hua, rests beside you. I don't know what to do. Or where to go. Maybe sleep will help me think clearly.