Title: Heart on My Sleeve

Description - Bella moves from Phoenix to Forks, WA to get away from an abusive relationship. She has sworn off all romantic relationships.....until she meets Edward. He seems like the perfect guy, but, can she ever trust her heart to someone else again?

Disclaimer - All characters, etc. belong to Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Twilight, or anything for that matter.

Chapter 1 - Escape

BPOV

As I boarded the plane in Phoenix, I had to stifle the urge to look behind me and make sure James wasn't following me. I knew that was unlikely, but still, with all the turmoil he had put me through over the last year, him trailing me was not an option I could dismiss. I thought of Renee and the tears sprung to my eyes. I hated leaving her, but I had to get away, to escape the life that had become my personal hell. I could still hear her words clearly.

"Bella, are you sure this is what you want to do? Maybe if we get the police involved..."

But she knew as well as I, that even if we did, it still wasn't going to make this place feel any more bearable. I had given it a lot of thought, and I knew that moving to Forks to live with my Dad was the only way to break away and get a fresh start. Renee understood that, and she tried not to cling, but I knew it was partly because she felt responsible for not seeing how bad things were getting. I wasn't upset with her. More, I was angry at myself, absolutely livid, for not seeing James for the monster he was, and letting things drag out and for not being stronger. Yes, I definitely needed this change, and Renee would be fine. She understood, even though she may not have liked my decision one hundred percent.

As I settled in my seat for the flight, I thought about the changes in what I considered my "new life." The most important thing to me was that I was going to be strong. I don't mean physically strong. I was a very non-athletic kind of girl, and pretty much a klutz. I was going to be mentally and emotionally strong. And I determined to find that strength within myself. That was the key. I didn't have the typical scared feeling one should get when going through an identity-crisis. On the contrary, I was very excited and looked forward to getting to know myself. This was something I needed to do, and it was as essential as breathing.

The next most important things was that I had sworn off any kind of romantic relationship. I had always felt like I didn't do well with being alone. I always felt like I needed to be a part of a pair in order to be a whole, that I could not be a complete person on my own. During younger days, I flitted from boyfriend to boyfriend, most only lasting a few months. I would tire of them easily, or realize that they weren't my type. That happened a lot, and I think it was mostly because I just went with my current crush before really getting to know him. My girl friends would joke with me and ask me who my "guy du jour" was, and I'd laugh along with them. Now as I looked back, I felt disgusted at myself. At the time, being known as somewhat of a player was kind of humorous to me. But even then, it had gotten old after a while, and I decided on a new conquest: a long term boyfriend.

I knew I could have almost any guy I chose, but it wasn't enough. It was like a game to me, and like a child, I got bored with it. That's when I met James. He was so confident, so sure of himself, and he seemed so much more mature than the other guys I had dated. I had made up my mind, James would be my first, the one I would build a relationship with. It was easy to connect with him, since he hung around in the same circle of friends as me. I had seen him before, but never really paid much attention to him, since he didn't seem the type to have a fling. Pretty much, I had no use for him before. That's not to say I was rude to him or anything, but he just wasn't much more than an acquaintance.

I started showing up to things I knew he'd be at, football games, parties at mutual friends houses, etc. I decided that I needed to take a different approach, since my desired outcome was different than my prior goals. I would start talking to someone who was sitting near him and then start drawing him into the conversation. He was perfect, smart, witty, and with a little bit of a dark side to him. I would almost call him mysterious. While we ran in the same crowd, I didn't really know that much about him. It wasn't that he kept to himself necessarily, but that he never really shared anything personal. This intrigued me. It didn't take long before I could approach him and start talking specifically to him. Then I laid on the flirting, just a little bit, to get his attention. I was almost amazed at my skills.

The day came on a Friday evening at the high school football game. It was late fall and the weather had really cooled off. It was almost unseasonably chilly. I had not come dressed for the weather, in my thin top. I was sitting on the bleachers, and the cold metal only made matters worse. I felt like I was freezing. James was sitting behind me, one level up. He saw me shiver and asked me if I was cold. I hoped this was my opening, and I was overjoyed when he spread his knees apart and told me to scoot back so I could share his body heat. As I sat there, he put his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down to my ear and told me that he was glad I had not worn a jacket, because now he had an excuse to get close to me. I told him that being close to him was a great reason to be cold. By the end of the night he had put his jacket around my shoulders and hugged me to him to keep me warm. We held hands as he walked me to my car and there we had our first kiss. My plan had gone perfectly, and I was very pleased with myself.

If you had ever told me things were going to turn out the way they did, I would have laughed at you. James was perfect. A perfect gentleman, a perfect kisser, a perfect everything. Or so I had thought. Hindsight being 20/20, I could look back now and see the signs that there were some major flaws in our relationship. At the time though, I ignored those little twinges of alarm, convincing myself that this was new territory for me, cultivating a long term relationship, and these things needed time, and that I should be expected to look the other way on occasion and ignore things that didn't seem one hundred percent right to me. Relationships needed sacrifice in order to work out. When James became very possessive of me, I told myself it was sweet, he cared about me and just wanted to protect me. When he demanded that I spend all of my extra time with him and only him, I told myself it was that he loved me so much he couldn't stand to be apart from me. When he became extremely jealous, I told myself we had such a connection that he couldn't stand the thought of me being with someone else. When he because controlling, I told myself it was his devotion to me that made him want the best for me. He somehow drew me in, like he had this power over me that I couldn't resist. By the time I realized everything for what it was, realized that he was a monster, it was too late.

And that brought me to now. I was escaping James, running away from my old life and ready and eager to start my new life in a new town. And I was taking everything in with a new outlook. I refused to let myself get caught up in another mess like the one I was leaving. Through my nightmare of a life, I had realized that it was time for me to be my own person. This was my time to come into myself, my time to become strong and able all on my own. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I resolved to put forth all the effort it took to learn to do it on my own. I did not need a guy in order to feel whole. I did not need a romance of any length to validate myself. I had no desire to date whatsoever, and for the first time in my life, I was happy to be alone.