What I would do.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the all too familiar figure paying for his drink. He paused from adding the second sugar to his cup of coffee and watched the slender figure glide effortlessly through the overcrowded coffee shop, snagging a recently freed up table and giving a terrifying ice-queen glare to a couple of freshmen girls who were about to claim that table but then changed their minds, scooting away to the bar, their faces ashen. God, Kurt was perfect, Dave Karofsky thought.
At the back of Dave's mind, he knew he was staring longingly at Kurt for too long; this proof was made more apparent when, out of an unconscious feeling that he was being watched, Kurt looked around and connected to Dave's gaze. Kurt's cold stone mask melted when he saw Dave's eyes grow wide in a guilty state of shock. He raised one of his hands away from the non-fat mocha that was giving him warmth, and gave Dave a small wave. It was small, simple, a thing of beauty to Dave; it was enough to show that Kurt didn't loathe him with every fibre of his being. He walked over to Kurt and sat in the empty seat opposite in silence, all the while barely breaking eye contact with those blue eyes. For every time Dave's brain told him to rip his eyes away, as he was starting to get the feeling like he was acting like an intense creeper, his heart couldn't resist falling into those pools time and time again. The silence lengthened.
"So-" Kurt began, trying to break the silence which seemed louder than the collective hammer of the voices in the shop.
"Kurt, I'm so fucking sorry about Prom." Dave blurted out. His eyes instinctively dropped down to his cup. He gathered all his courage to face the other boy's penetrating stare. He needed to look at the boy, to prove to Kurt completely that he meant every word of his apology. He gripped the cup harder to still his shaking hands and tried to heal his broken voice. "I should have danced with you- I was so stupid- and after what those fucking cowards at McKinley did with the votes, and then I...I ran away, as if I couldn't stand to be seen with you- I made it a thousand times worse...I...God, Kurt! I should have- I am sorr-"
The absolute black pain in Dave's face, which Kurt had seen only once before, returned. This time though, Dave's vulnerability was not covered up by an annoying girl on the way to class. Instead, that mask was left discarded by his feet and all Kurt could see in his wet eyes was his remorse and the torment that was shredding Dave's insides. The intensity of emotions shuddered through Kurt's body and forced him to break his gaze. He needed to stop Dave from speaking: to stop this reciprocating pain pulsating straight from Dave's chest into Kurt's heart. He needed to make Dave stop looking at him in that way; that way that was so painful to Kurt, it caused that empty cavity in his torso to ache and physically retract each time his eyes met with Dave's. He needed to say something, do something, anything to make Dave stop.
"It's okay." Kurt interrupted quickly "I had Blaine."
Oh. Shit. Him.
"I should have gone after you, Kurt. It should have been me"...not him. Dave growled with self loathing rising in his chest:"I would have..."done a much better job of comforting you, of loving you, than he can ever be capable of with all his puny existence and excessive amount of hair gel application. Dave stopped short, catching the revelation he was about to make and wallowed in his dark musings.
"You would have...?" Kurt pressed. Suddenly the aching in his chest didn't matter, he needed to, no: his consciousness gave Kurt no choice but to look at Dave straight in the eye. Every molecule of Kurt's being was locked to attention on Dave's form and every grey cell in Kurt's brain was focused on Dave and only Dave. He waited.
Dave let out a long breath, gathering himself, before he continued. "I would have held you tight even if you tried to push me away, I'd hold you so, so close to me and whisper to you that everything was going to be alright. That this stupid joke doesn't change anything that's important, it hasn't changed what really matters: you and I. That this just shows how dumb and ignorant those students are and it proves they will always be stuck in Lima, but you: you Kurt, you are gorgeous and perfect and will go on to do amazing things that will cause the world to know how awesome you are. And you will leave this school and these people and this state and take on the world. You will show them all; you will leave." You will leave me. The light faded from Dave's eyes as he acknowledged the bitter truth of his statement. He was sucked abruptly out of his fervour and he leaned back onto his chair, gripping his untouched coffee again. A dark cloud passed over his thoughts.
"Who am I kidding though? Your boyf...your...Bland is perfect. He probably said all the right things and did everything perfectly." Fucking relative of Gimli son of Gloin getting to touch my Kurt, to kiss him, to...Dave shook his head and closed his eyes trying to erase those images from forming in his mind. I hate that jumped up hobbit on crack.
"He gave me a Kleenex."
Fucking great. I forgot to give Kurt a tissue in all my ministrations to make him better again...Always getting one up on me, the bastard. He probably gave it so that Kurt could wipe away Bland's spunk which was dripping out of Kurt's hole and running thick and creamily down the inside of Kurt's white thigh. The douche. Bland probably had sex with Kurt right there and then against the lockers in an attempt to make Kurt feel loved again; to make Kurt orgasm so hard that black spots form in his mind and he forgets about these Lima losers and all the heartache they put him though. I know I would have. God, who wouldn't want to jump Kurt's perfect bones every time they're near enough; you've got to be insane not to feel any passion and an all consuming lust when you're around that kid.
Images flashed across Dave's mind. Blaine pressing Kurt into the lockers with his full body weight, Kurt wincing as the cold metal hinges dig into his shoulder blades and the back of his legs. Kurt would shift to the side as one of Blaine's thighs slip oh-so easily between Kurt's open and waiting legs, as if Blaine's thigh has a home there. Kurt bucks up against Blaine's trousers, arousing his already hardened erection to a teasing limit. Dave's heart twisted excruciatingly as his mind fought against the pleadings of his heart. Blaine's fingertips ghosting under the hem of his kilt...Dave whimpered- that skirt. He probably wore it just for Mc-Eyebrows on his request; the way that skirt showed off Kurt's toned and fucking beautiful long legs and the easy access it gave to his pert ass. Yep, I wouldn't be surprised if Bland ordered him to wear that.
Dave imagined Blaine squeezing Kurt's throbbing erection; a gasp issuing from Kurt's blood filled lips, his pupils blown wide in lust and haloed by a brilliant green ring, Kurt's head tilted up against the lockers, giving up to Blaine the expanse of his slender neck. He imagined Blaine's thumb brushing achingly slowing over the tip of Kurt's erection and him rubbing the pre-cum onto his two digits. Dave watched as Blaine nonchalantly withdrew his hand from Kurt's dick and licked from base to tip his thumb and then his two digits, eyes locked on to Kurt's. He saw Blaine slowly take the pre-cum covered fingers into his mouth and thrusting them in and out: tasting Kurt. Dave could not tear his eyes from Blaine's wet digits sliding lower, lower...caressing the curve of Kurt's ass, slowly circling and shallowly edging into the well worn hole. The metallic clink of Blaine's trouser buckle. Kurt working the midget's zipper down; clumsily failing the easy task due to the effects of pure ecstasy. Using Blaine's natural lubricant to aid his pumping, squeezing every so often. The rustle and squeak of the foil, separating the condom from its cage; the noise piercing through their heavy pants and groans- every groan ripping a chunk out of Dave's heart and turning his stomach. Images of Blaine thrusting up. Kurt's body banging rhythmically into the lockers, like a continual locker slam. Kurt's blissful orgasm face, sweat shining his forehead and clumping his dishevelled hair. A word playing on his bloated red lips...
"Oh" was the only word that sifted through the tumult of his thoughts.
"Yeah." Kurt replied. His head was down, thoughtful, as if only half concentrating on his present surroundings; the bigger portion of his attention was held far inside of him. A light pink blush had formed across his check as Kurt thought back over the images of that scene and noted almost shamefully the lack of romance Blaine had shown towards him. Dave took the blush to be a confirmation of his worst fears; that the blush was caused by a recollection of the indecent exposure he had participated with Blaine in a public place.
Dave panicked and cleared his throat trying to think of anything that would change this god awful subject and stop the images of a semi naked Kurt orgasming blissfully in Blaine's arms, Blaine's name dribbling out of his lips, from repeating on loop inside his head. "So, er, what are you doing in The Lima Bean alone? You waiting for one of your friends from Glee?"
"No, I'm waiting for Blaine" Kurt murmured almost silently, his thoughts still too far away.
Dave felt the sensation to dry heave. He swallowed audibly "I'm going now. Bye." His chair scraped on the grey stone flooring, cold and unforgiving.
The harsh noise broke Kurt's trance and suddenly he was fiercely aware a feeling of terror at the realisation the boy in front of him was leaving. He grabbed Dave's arm in a moment of raw impulse and passionate unthinking. Subconsciously he was aware of Dave's taught muscles tensing at the touch as Kurt's fingers lingered upon his warm wrist. "Wait! I love you...re thoughtfulness. Thanks for caring so much...J-just wanted you to know that before you go." Kurt knew his words were lame and recognized that the covering up of his declaration was easily seen through.
For a moment, Dave was only aware of the fact that Kurt was touching him, and not only that, but he seemed to be doing it voluntarily, almost desperately. He nearly didn't realise the other boy was speaking. Nevertheless, he caught Kurt's mumbled words, but hardly processed them; he needed space to think, time to re-gather his fuzzy brain. Dave managed to nod dumbly in response and bolted straight for the toilets, reluctant to leave Kurt's touch, but too flustered to get his thoughts in order while he was so close to the boy he desired.
He slammed the lock down and braced his hands on the cubicle door as if trying to push a heavy weight or like someone who is trying to prevent the monster from coming through. He pressed his forehead to the plastic, cooling him down and squeezed his eyes shut, willing his thoughts to slow. The picture of Blaine's dick inside Kurt was still printed in his imaginations, however now cutting through the blackness were Kurt's words. Hope kindled in Dave's chest, timid and small, but hope nonetheless. Dave released his push on the door and flexed his muscles that were aching from the pressure. Inhaling deeply, he exited the toilets. He was going to do it. He was going to tell Kurt how much he loves him; how his entire being, body and soul, aches when he is not near. How he knows he can be a better boyfriend than that Blaine could ever be. He would do it. He even felt strength enough to come out of the closet if it meant he had a chance in hell to be with someone like Kurt. He-
He sees Blaine sitting by Kurt in the seat Dave had once occupied. He saw Blaine utter the three words most painful to Dave like it is the most natural thing in the world, like he has said it a hundred times before, like he does not care he has mortally wounded Dave with a casual flick of the tongue. He pushes past a group of customers, heading for the door. He does not wait to hear Kurt's response. He does not see the panic in Kurt's face, the pause in Kurt's speech. He does not hear the reply given which was so contrary to the all too eager response he gave to Dave.
Dave thrusts his hand into his front jean pocket and withdraws his phone. Vaguely he registers two of Kurt's friend's from Glee, hand in hand, pushing the shop door open as he tries to leave. He types with his head down and shoves past them wordlessly.
"Az. There'd better b fuck loads of booze at this party 2nite. C u there."