Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, or anything connected to the Roswell crash of 1947.

Roswell

"And that, My Tallest, is how I will take over Earth with explosive mutant pink flamingos!" Zim said proudly, from his underground base on Earth.

And once again Red and Purple were, as usual, listening to one of Zim's 'brilliant' plans. The little defective had been on Earth for years now, and hadn't gotten any closer to dominating Earth than the day he landed there. The Almighty Tallest had first taken Zim's constant updates as jokes, usually laughing into tears every time he botched another one of his 'genius plans'.

"Um . . . that's great Zim. Maybe this time it'll work." Red said sarcastically.

"Thank you, My Tallest! Invader Zim signing out." Zim ended with a loyal salute to his leaders, before ending transmission.

Normally, the entire bridge of the Massive would break out into snickering and unmaintainable laughter, but these days Zim's constant check-ins have become mundanely routine. Not that they still didn't bring some sick joy to the twin appointed rulers of the Irken race. Today, however, they both let out bored sighs.

"I don't know why he even bothers anymore." Purple said crossing his arms.

Red pulled out a tall soda for himself, out of thin air, taking a long sip from the straw before replying to his counterpart. "Remember when we thought sending him to Earth was actually a good idea?

"Yeah. Come to think of it, I don't even remember why we chose Earth in the first place." Purple answered, scratching his chin.

The other Tallest paused, mid-sip, and looked at Purple almost disgustedly. "What do you mean you don't remember? We were there, idiot." He gave Purple a smack on the head, the victimized leader letting out a yelp in surprise before rubbing the side of his face with his gauntlet.

Pouting to himself, Purple's memory flashed quickly from the confines of his PAK, and his eyes shot open. "Wait, now I remember..."

Somewhere in space, far beyond the territory of the Irken Armada.

"So why are we out so far again?" Purple asked Red.

Red, who was piloting the ship answered. "Because, for us to complete our Invader training, we need to scout out one inhabited undiscovered planet and send back valuable data on it for possible invasion."

"Oh." Was all Purple said in response, and stared blankly out into space through the cockpit window. "And then, we'll become Tallest."

The two Irkens were still mere fresh Elites, having just been granted Invader training a year ago. They were at this time, much shorter, and wore standard Irken uniforms.

Red blew wind out of his mouth snarkily. "As if!"

"Like we'll ever be tallest, one day. We'd be lucky to get another growth spurt, by now." Purple stated in disappointment.

"At least we have a batter chance than Zim does. Short little pipsqueak." Red added, and they both snickered at his comment.

The two entered a solar system with nine planets and a sun in the middle (I'm considering Pluto a planet so nobody gets confused). Purple, having something to do finally, activated the ships bio-scanner for any signs of life forms or technology as they flew deeper into the system.

"This system is relatively new, but has the conditions to support life." Purple said enthusiastically.

"Eh, I've only seen gas planets so far. Maybe once we get inside that rock belt." Red added. They spent the next few minutes analyzing the plain boring gas giants, and they grew closer to the star at the center. Solid rock planets began to appear on their sensors.

"Hmm.. too hot, too hot, dormant planetary tech... but no life signs." Suddenly, the shipped started beeping. "Wait hold on. I'm picking up moderate readings on that blue one!" Purple said, pointing at a blue and green planet that had just came into view. "Readings are really strong now, lot of organic and electrical readings and odd transmissions."

"Looks like that Vortian was right. Good thing he spilled his beans when we roughed him up." Red engaged the spittle runner's stealth drive, and started a controlled decent through the planet's atmosphere

Breaking through to a manageable cruising, the two Irkens found themselves flying over a vast thunderstorm system currently over a portion of land. For the time being, Red decided to stay above it, until they were ready to perform reconnaissance.

"Okay... All we have to do is take a few pictures of the area and send some life form and technology data, then were all set and can head back to the Armada" Red explained. He looked over to Purple, who was fiddling with what liked like aluminum foil and tent polls. "What are you- why do you always bring that stuff with you when we go on scouting missions?" he asked his purple-eyed counterpart.

Purple narrowed his eyes at Red for questioning his hobbies. "It's not 'stuff'. I think Technetratanium foil is cool." He crumpled up the foil into a ball only for it to reform into its original sheet shape, which brought a giddy smile tot he purple-eyed Irken elite.

"But we use it for insulation. And what's with the sticks?" Red asked again.

"Well . . . I made them, so they're important to me. They're my lucky scouting sticks." Purple answered, hugging the hand-carved close to his chest. "You shouldn't really be flying this close to a storm." He said to Red.

"Please, I think I know what I'm doing. I'm just going to fly through it really quick so we can see the ground." Red dipped the spittle runner into the storm clouds and in a few seconds, appeared underneath them. They were greeted with a vast red dessert, pockmarked with trees and what looked like un-natural rodes a ways off. "See I told you nothing would . . ." A lightning bolt hit the ship, mercilessly rocking the two inside. Engine alerts and sirens blared withing the cockpit, instantaneously.

"What's going on?!" Purple shrieked in terror

"Massive energy surge from the storm! I've lost the engines!" Red screamed.

The ship dipped and began free-falling tot he ground, catching on fire for some reason. Red tried with all his might to power through the decent, and using the ship's retro rockets was able to put the runner into a steep glide. Purple, however, continued to scream and panic in his co-pilot seat.

Just before impact Red pulled up hard on the controls, and the spittle runner hit the ground hard and skipped off the dirt. It skid the ground, again, and met a quick stop on the side of a rock, knocking both Irkens out cold on impact.

"Yeah, I remember that part. You screamed the whole way down." Red said, remembering what Purple was talking about.

"And it only got worse, after that."