I enjoyed writing Cold Bodies, Warm Hearts so much that I just had to write another Nick/Hermione story. However, I have to warn you that this one is a lot fluffier than the last one was. ;)

Written for the Marvelously Magical Fanfiction Bingo
Square: O1 / Prompt: Fake Dating

OPERATION DARK HEART

The Problem

"I need some help!" Hermione exclaimed as she slid into her usual seat at the table in the Avengers Tower where Tony, Bruce, and Nat were already sitting.

Bruce spoke up first, "Is it an experiment? Do you need another potion ingredient?" The brilliant physicist was always welcome in Hermione's spell and potion lab and he often provided her with a lot of nonmagical insight – especially since she did not have the extensive muggle scientific background that he did. The Hulk was also useful when he was present. The big guy had developed a surprising rapport with the witch and was even willing to help her to collect samples out in the field to use in her work that were too difficult or dangerous for mere puny humans to normally handle. Consequently, she was extremely grateful to both of them for their help. However, Hermione's problem was not in the lab this time.

"No," she answered as she shook her head. "It's worse than that." A look of embarrassment flashed across her face before she finally muttered, "What I really need is a boyfriend…but I would be willing to settle for at least a date."

Tony, of course, replied first with his usual irreverence. "I know that you are a witch, Hermy, but you're not one of those ugly warty ones. In fact, you are cute enough…in the right light. Therefore, if you are just hard up and need to scratch an itch, you shouldn't have any problems finding someone for a booty call…a hook up…a leg over…a one-night stand…"

"That's enough, Tony! Don't make me hex you…and stop calling me Hermy!" Hermione growled warningly and looked over at Nat with gratitude after the redhead reached up and smacked the back of Tony's head for her. "It's not like that, anyway." Then she sighed again before she explained.

"Ron, my ex-boyfriend, is getting married next weekend and I need a date for the wedding. Otherwise, his mother Molly, will arrange for me to accidentally be paired up with someone she considers to be a single and eligible man - just like she does at every Weasley wedding…and there are a lot of Weasleys! I just can't go through that again. You would not believe the men she has picked out for me in the past!" Hermione paused to shudder at the thought. "However, Ron's still one of my best friends, so I just can't skip his wedding. However, I can't go alone, either…even if I was willing to brave Molly's matchmaking. The press would have a field day with that – especially since Ron and I were two-thirds of the so-called Golden Trio. Also, it's a wizarding wedding so my date will have to be familiar with the magical world already so we won't violate the Statute of Secrecy. You guys know that I am always out working in the field with you or in the lab here, so I know very few American wizards…except for those old stuffy pompous arses at MACUSA…and none of my male friends in England are single anymore. Therefore, I just don't know what to do."

"I'll go with you," Bruce offered immediately and Hermione smiled at him affectionately. He really was her best friend in the tower, but she knew that he was still trying to sort through his feelings for Nat and was, therefore, just being his usual kind self. Unfortunately, she knew that she had to turn him down, anyway.

"That's so sweet, Bruce, but I really don't think that is a good idea. Both Ron and Susan, the bride, are Purebloods. Therefore, it's traditional for a representative from each of the Sacred 28 families to attend the wedding. Apparently, Draco and Astoria have already accepted for the Malfoy and Greengrass families. Therefore, even though Ron would probably enjoy the show, Molly would never forgive me for bringing you if the Hulk smashed Malfoy into messy little bits during the ceremony."

"Malfoy!" Bruce snarled and his eyes turned an alarming shade of green before Nat calmed him down by reaching across the table and stroking his hand. The Hulk had taken offense with the cocky blond wizard ever since he and Hermione had accidentally met Draco when he was in New York on family business - especially when he had greeted Hermione with his usual patronizing "Mudblood" salutation. Since Bruce had seen the carving on Hermione's arm, and knew how it got there, Draco had barely managed to escape the Hulk's wrath in time by apparating away at the first sign of green. No, the Slytherin wizard had not changed at all over the years…and so it was a risk that Hermione just could not take. Fortunately, Bruce understood and did not take it personally.

"What about Steve?" Nat asked. "He would be the perfect date since you guys are such good friends. He's a crap dancer, but he is chivalrous enough to make sure that you have a good time…and he's HOT! All the other girls…and even the guys…will be jealous." Bruce also nodded his agreement with her assessment.

Hermione nodded. "That's the problem. He is too perfect. The bride thinks so, too! Ron would never forgive me if I brought Captain America, his future wife's biggest celebrity crush, to their wedding." She sighed again. "Clint already has plans for the weekend." Here she met Nat's eyes for just a second since the two of them were the only ones who knew his big family secret. "So he is out, as well. That just leaves…" she paused and three set of eyes turned to Tony.

"Say no more, my little desperate witchy Cinderella. I will be your Prince Charming and escort you to the ball…provided you wear something sexy with your glass heels, of course…and not turn back into a little bookworm at midnight. I do have a reputation to uphold, you know." Bruce scoffed at those pompous words while Nat made a retching sound in the background.

Hermione just shook her head and smirked at him. "As tempting as that offer is not, Tony, aren't you forgetting something?" Pepper automatically popped into his head, but he knew that his feisty girlfriend adored Hermione, and that she understood he had practically adopted the little witch as a younger sister. She would not mind. Therefore, he looked blankly at Hermione for a moment until the answer came to him.

"Shit! The next Stark Expo is that weekend, isn't it?" At Hermione's nod, he patted her affectionately on the shoulder. "Sorry, kid, I guess you are on your own, then…"

"Some friends you are!" Hermione exclaimed. "You're all worthless, you know…the lot of you." There was no heat behind her words, however, as her head sunk down to the table with a thump and the amused men caught each other's eyes across the table – especially when her head suddenly shot back up and a look of determination crossed her face. She jumped up. "That's it. I'll just have to play the part and be a lesbian for the weekend, instead. I wonder if Maria would be willing to be my girlfriend…" she muttered. She was so deep in thought that she slipped right past the man who had just arrived in the shadows of the doorway without even realizing that he was there.

Nick Fury watched her go before he turned back to the remaining occupants at the table. "Do I even want to know?" he asked in his usual grave tone, even though his one good eye glinted with uncharacteristic interest.

"She needs a date for her ex-boyfriend's magical wedding so her wannabe-matchmaker-ex-future-mother-in-law won't try to set her up with another dud…and so she doesn't seem like a lonely pathetic loser to the entire magical world in the process." Tony took it upon himself to explain.

"Tactful, Tony…as always," Nat replied sarcastically as he dodged another smack from her before she continued. "Should I be insulted that she doesn't want me to be her lesbian lover, though?" She pondered aloud before she saw the glazed look in both Tony and Bruce's eyes as they thought about the possibilities of such a situation. "Men!" she muttered in disgust as she turned her gaze back to Fury - only to see him frown as he continued to look down the corridor where Hermione had disappeared. She nudged Bruce with her knee to catch his attention, nodded in Fury's direction, and then smiled as his eyes widened comically with surprise as he followed her thought process. Tony caught on next and just looked at them both in momentary shock.

Hell, no! Never in a million years, he mouthed silently and shook his head incredulously right before Fury finally took his eye off of the direction that the witch had taken in order to focus on them once again.

"Hmmm…." was the only thing the formidable man said as he eyed them all – especially since they had already schooled their expressions into the most innocent ones possible – which for Tony and Nat was extremely suspicious in its own right. He then turned around since, at the moment, he didn't even remember what he came to tell them. Something else now occupied his mind instead as he walked back down the same hallway that the witch had just vacated.

The Solution

Nick Fury had always had a very firm rule to never mix business with pleasure. His world was already too complicated for that. However, his work had been so all-consuming for so many years that there was very little pleasure to be had in his life, otherwise. Perhaps that was reason why his mind kept returning to the pretty little English witch's problem. He had to admit that Hermione Granger had intrigued him ever since day one – after she had apparently fought alongside the Avengers in the city during the battle against the Chitauri during what should have been her museum tour-filled holiday. The whole team had all seen her, at one point or the other, and had been impressed with her skills. However, nobody knew who she was - not until she had shown up at Stark Tower the next day in order to make sure that everyone was alright and to offer her future services. Since they obviously had an empty magical niche that needed to be filled, she was welcomed with open arms. That initiative on her part, however, had caught Fury's attention, and the resulting intrigue was exactly why he had always forced himself to keep his distance from her – even though she quickly became close to the entire Avengers team – including the notoriously standoffish Romanoff. Nevertheless, he held firm. He did not want to be interested in the witch. What he did want, though, was another issue entirely. However, he had resigned himself to want from afar.

He just did not count on the annoying group of superhero matchmakers who immediately set out to change that resolution once they had caught the slightest hint that maybe he was not really as disinterested as it seemed.