The story of my life? Not much to be honest .really believe me. I think if I would tell you about my past life that you would fall asleep of boredom. The only thing important enough to tell you I guess is that I have ruined so many lives over the years.
It just kind of happened in the past and I don't know how it happened but it did. I feel bad about it. I never wanted it to happen. I'm the one who ruined so many lives, so many characters that I sometimes wonder why I'm still here.
Why people still care about me? Maybe they are faking that they care about me. Yes that will be it. I can't see a other way how they can still act like that around me after what I have caused to people over thousand years.
Sometimes I just want to disappear but people find me important because I'm the capital of Europe. I am also the capital of Belgium, the headquarters of the NAVO and the Benelux. Don't get me started about the very long name or the title. It is too long to get started about and I need to say it every time I pick up my phone. Maybe I am important now but I never chose this or this life.
I always wanted to be a normal girl. Not a capital. Just normal you know? Like normal people just being like the other people in the world and not be immortal. Just live a life and not deal with the stress of ruling whole Europe and being responsible about what goes wrong.
Someone who knows how I feel. I feel bad for him because he got bullied by one of my friend and I was not really happy to hear about it. I was pissed at Prussia well that is to put it.
Me and Russia have been friends for a really long whiel now and when I heard about people bullying him I felt bad for the Russian. I didn't think Prussia was awesome anymore what I did before.
I actually don't get why people call Russia creepy. He doesn't seem that creepy to me. He has always been so kind to me and I think people think he is mean and scary because what has been going in his country.
That is the reason why I don't like that people act like that to him. He only does dark aura on people if they are touching some sensative subject and he wants to scare them of so that they stop mentioning about the thinks that make him hurt.
But having this kind of thing to protect him makes people think he is mean even thought he doesn't mean to be he isn't aware that he comes over like that. He really does I have asked him about it since one of the countries who are under the Europain Union was talking about it. He himself was surprised and even shocked to hear that people thought that of him.
I think that is why I like him and really like him since he doesn't mean to hurt people at all unlike other people I know who just love to hurt people just for fun which I myself hate to see or hear about.
Now I think of it..isn't it like wrong to feel like this? I mean we have been friends since we were little and I don't want to ruin our friendship by walking up to him and telling him this and that he turns me down after that.
Maybe it is smart to tell him how I feel since if I would keep it away from him he would think that I would not trust him with this info and than he would end up hating me in the end which I don't want to happen. Since like I said he means a lot to me and if I end up losing him I don't know if I would be able to get over that.
I would give everything to be with him even if it is for a little, if it was for a day that I could be the one he loves and holds close. Yeah you can see that this isn't just a simple crush that you can get over with if you don't think of.
"Brussels are you all right?" A sweet voice helped me to get out of my thoughts which I had been lost in for quite I while now since the meeting room I was in was completly empty now. That most of the time takes a little even if they all want to get out of the room as soon as possible.
"Yes I am completly fine." I said softly when I found the word to say since was putting more effort in finding words than speaking itself. "But thank you for asking Russia." It is hard to act like I normally do when I am around him. Lucky I can act pretty well so the chance that he will notice is very low.
"If you say so Brussels, if you say it than I will believe you." He said before pulling me into a hug. It is not abnormal that he hugs me so I have nothing to use as proof if he likes me or not. We have known each other since we were little. Though I am slightly older than him, not much though. This hug feels different though.
My cheeks started to turn redder which each passing second that he is holding me in the close embrace, which I have to admit is a nice one. After a minute or so was my face tomato red. My big brother Spain loves tomatoes so he would laugh at the shade of my face. I just hope that Russia doesn't notice that my face is so red but that is hoping for something I know that is going to happen anyway, now he will notice that my attitude has changed.
"Brussels is there something wrong? Are you sure everything is okay?" He asked me, the expression on the Russian's face was very worried. Not only the expression on his face but also the look in his eye looked very worried.
Even though he asked me several questions I was unable to bring something out. Not one signle world was able to go past my lips. That is weird since I normally can always tell him what is on my mind but now.
It was very unexpected but after a minutes of complete silence between us two, he pulled me into a kiss. My mind went blank for a little after the sudden movement of the Russian. The first thought that came into my mind was: 'So he likes me now right? Right?'
When he pulled back from the kiss for air it seemed that I have found my tongue again. Since I was finally to speak up again. "R-Russia?" I managed to bring out. It was stuttering though but I was able to bring something out this time.
Russia got up and wanted to walk away from me. I was still confused about what had happened but I managed to still grab the sleeve of the Russian's long jacket. I am happy he still wears that thing even with this weather. It makes it easier to stop him.
When he turned to look at me, I finally noticed that his cheeks were a bright shade of pink. It means that like me he was blushing as well. "I-I n-need to g-go." He stuttered and it was very audible that he did, even though I was still trying to get all the thoughts that were racing through my head into a straight line.
After that he tried to leave but since I was still holding his sleeve, he wasn't quite able to do so. Or at least not yet, I was still able to say one thing: "Please don't go Russia, please I beg you."
And when I said that I was going to beg for it, I meant it since I was begging with my eyes not to leave. Like I mentioned earlier, I can't live without him. Him being mad or pissed..I don't know. Or why he is sad, I wouldn't be able to handle the thought of that happening.
Since I am allready struggling with depression I don't know what could happen if it gets any worse. Well it has been getting better for the last months but still, that were like baby steps in the right direction.
Even though I look rather frail and like I am going to break any moment it is the outside that is the strongest. The inside is a very disctructive mind that is like a glass object. It would chatter in a million pieces when you try to handle it.
I kept begging for the Russian in front of me not to leave but unfortunate for me he did break free and started to make his way out of the room. I watched him walk through the door of the meeting room, where I was still sitting.
When I saw him leave this room, many thoughts were going through my head. Many questions were I never got an answer to and that I had been able to shove to the back of my head appeared again.
Many worries surfaced in my mind. Why did he just leave like that? Why did he leave after doing a thing like that without explaining it or at least staying to talk. Does he not remember that he is one of the most important people in my life, who knows even the most important person. I guess that he doesn't.
Tears start to well up in the corners of my eyes and they started to form small drops that rolled over my pale cheek. I was crying that was for sure, yet when I swore that I would not cry again. The last time I cries was during World War II, I rather would not talk about the reason why I was crying back than.
"Brussels? Brussels? Are you in here?" I heard a voice calling. If I need to go of how far the voice was away from me, I would say that the person was standing in the doorframe of the room. I knew who was calling for me though, the voice of the perons is very recognisable.
The voice belonged to Lithuania, he is a very nice person and a good country. One of the Baltic trio and also a member of the EU. He is the eldest of the three and functions like a kind of boss to them.
"I'm here Lithuania."I said while wiping the tears that rolled over my cheeks away. He doesn't need to see that I have been crying just a little ago. There are nations of the Europian Union who call him Liet, but I am not one of them. Poland satarted calling him that and it stuck with them ever since than. Lithuania seemed slightly annoyed with it at the start, I think that because so many people use the nickname that he got used to it.
"Oh there you are. I was looking for you." He said and walked over to me. "Are you sure that you are allright, Brussels? It seems like you have been crying." He said, sounding worried about me. He is kind and worries about others a lot, that makes him a good nation.
I was not happy to say the least when I heard that he had noticed that I had been crying. The thing is : 'How will I get myself out of this situation? Will he continue to ask about it or will he drop the conversation?'
"I am fine Lithuania, no need to worry about me." I said trying to sound like I usually do. Personally I just hope that I was able to pull that off. " Do you need me for something?" Normally when Lithuania comes to me after a kind of meetin, it is because he needs help with something. I wonder what it is.
"Ah this may be a stupid question to ask but a lot of the others have the same quesition so I thought that it would be usefull to ask. Do you know when the next European Union meeting will be. It wasn't mentioned in the previous meeting so most of us don't know." The Lithuanian said sounding slightly nervous while he asked the question. As he was afraid to offend me or something.
The last months or so I have mostly been living in my own thoughts more than in the real world. Which caused me to forget to tell the other nations when the next meeting was. I only now am aware that I didn't do that before. "I am sorry Lithuania for not telling but the next meeting is on Friday."
He thanked me for giving the usefull information and than left the room, most likely to inform the others about it.
Not a second after the door closed, tears rolled over my cheeks again. I wasn't able to keep it in anymore. It didn't matter to me anymore if someone would see me, I didn't care what they would think if they would find me like this.
Why did he kiss me without saying anthing? I just don't understand it at all. Everthing that has happened only made everything that was going on ten times more confusing as before. "R-Russia.. W-Why?" I said between the sobs. I couldn't find any reason why he could have done anything like that.
We need to talk about this, if he wants to or not. Since I know him long enough so I know where he is now. I got up from where I was sitting and walked out of the room. I was sure that he would go to the Red Square in the capital of his country, the city of Moscow.
A few hours later I arrived in Russia by plane. I took a taxi to get to the Red Square. When the taxi stopped, paid him and I got out. I started to look around the square. 'Hm? Weird he normally is here..'
It is weird that I am not able to find him here. He has always been here when I looked for him when he is sad. After scanning the square completly I finally found the person was looking for at the other side. "Russia!" I shouted to get his attention.
He turned to look at the voice that was yelling for him. When I came closed I noticed that his voilet eyes widend. He sure didn't expect that I would have followed him to his country. He ran of the square and into a forest that wasn't far from where we were before.
Oh god..forests. I don't have very good memories when it comes to forests. Oh well to put it into another was, I have had a slight trauma from something that has happend in the woods when I was younger.
Please Russia, you know how much I hate places like this, how scared that I am to get lost in here and how scared I am to be alone. God who know that may be the reason why he picked a place like this to go to.
I looked around and saw nobody. I didn't end up being to slow to keep up with him and he managed to get out of my sight. Looking around didn't help since I was only able to see trees around me. No building that could help me get back, that means that I was lost in this woods.
Even though I wasn't dresses for it with my thin dark blue dress, I sat down on the snow that was laying on the ground. I pulled my knees close to my body to keep myself warm and to hide that I was crying yet again.
As the tears roll over my cheek, I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. A soft voice spoke up to me. "Please don't cry." The voice started. "You know that I hate it when you cry." I looked up to see to who the voice belonged and jumped up from surprise. He did come back after all.
"I am so sorry for running away..I-I." His muttering was interupted by a sudden kiss that from how he reacted, he sure didn't expect at all. I think that is why returned the kiss so akwardly in the beginning. I don't care what people will think. I love him no matter what happens.
"Uh Brussels…" I softly heard him say when we parted for air. Before I responded, I laid my head on his chest and looked up. "Hm? Yes?" I said slightly curious at what he was going to ask. "Do you remember by any chance how we ended up here? Do you know the way back?" He asked softly and carefully. Most likely in the hope that I wouldn't freak out because we were offically lost in this forest.
I tried to calm down a little before I shook my head to let him know that I had no clue either of how to get back to the city. The silver haired Russian sighed at seeing that and carefully removed his jacket and drapped it around my shoulders. To keep me warm I assume.
He also held me close to him like if he hoped that his jacket combined with the heat coming from his body would prevent me from getting sick. "Stay close because otherwise you will catch a cold in these clothes.
I felt bad for having his coat on to be honest since it was very cold out here since it was winter. Well and Russian winters are known for being rather cold. He smiled warmly when he noticed the worried look on my face. "Don't worry sunflower, I will be fine." He placed a kiss on my forehead.
Okay good to know that he can read my mind now, that is something I may have get to get used to. Not that it won't be so big of a deal since I trust my thoughts to him. He is nice and understanding.
He see that he looks in the pockets of his coat and pulled out his phone from it. He looked around, a spark of hope was visible in his eyes. That means that even though we are in the forest he still has connection.
It would have been a hole other situation if he didn't but lets not think of that picture of events now. He deals a phone number and started talking. I knew from how he sounded and a few of the words that he was speaking Russian but I couldn't catch everthing that he was saying to the person on the other side of the line.
The call ended a few minutes later. I looked up at the taller Russian in front of me. "Ivan, who did you call?" I asked and from the fact that I used his human name he knew I was dead serious about this situation.
About what I think an hour after he called I heard something."Oh there you are, you weren't easy to track down in a forest, you have got some balls to call me when you are cheating on the girl you like." A voice behind me spoke up, though I recognised the owner of the voice. So he called her, that is very surprising.
I turned around and saw the person who I thought would be standing there. It was indeed Belarus who he had called over the phone. "Oh it is you after all Brussels." She said and pointed at the jacket." Didn't recognise you with big brother's jacket on."
"Well if you are curious about what he said to me when he called. He asked if I could find where you guys were as fast as I could because he doesn't want his precious sunflower would catch a cold. But I didn't know that that would be you."
Well let me explain this. Since we have been friends for a very long time Russia and I have nicknames for each other. It has been like that as long as I can remember. The nickname I gave him many years ago was: Russian Snow Angel.
I have to say that this isn't the first time that I got lost in the woods with this Russian. It is that it was another place and it was a lot warmer than here. We were luckly some locals found us because I don't know what would have happened if they didn't.
It is that an another event that caused me to have a trauma and made me scared to go into the woods on my own. I am not that scared anymore since I have a pair of strong arms keeping me safe.
When we later arrived at Russia's house we started talking when we were standing on the doorstep. "Belarus , thank you so much for saving us. We couldn't have been able to get out without your help." I said and smiled warmly. "But do one thing for me please. Stop bullying him."
She looked confused at me. The Belarusian tilled her head in confusion." He loves you and you love him. I know that I can see it in your eyes, so you need to tell him how you feel. He won't bite."