Hey everyone.

This is just a little something that came to mind after listening to a song I love. I'm debating about whether or not to make it a multi-chapter. After you finish reading please let me know. I want to get the 7th chapter of "The Changing Tides" up tomorrow so keep an eye out for that.

I do not own Criminal Minds (if I did I'd kidnap Matthew Gray Gubler and you'd never see us again) nor "Half Life" by Imogen Heap (i adore her)

Please enjoy.

I knew that I'd get like this again

That's why I try to keep at bay

Be a hundred percent when I'm with you

And then the perfect heart's length away

Emily Prentiss was not a hopeless romantic by any stretch of the imagination. It wasn't that she didn't believe in love, oh no that wasn't the case at all. She just didn't believe that it was as predictable and clichéd as it was in movies.

To Emily love was messy, complicated, and it hurt. She wasn't a pessimist either: She considered herself a realist. She lived in a world where sex was sex and love didn't always enter the equation. She knew sometimes the bad guy got away and on occasion the good guy died. It wasn't some fairytale where the girl lived happily ever after with the guy of her dreams. Life wasn't that easy.

That was why; when Aaron Hotchner had put an end to their late night rendezvous she wasn't surprised or angry. She had expected their passionate flame to burn out sometime, like an ember in a dying fireplace. It was clinical, typical, and it hurt like hell. She'd never tell him that though. She gathered her clothes, said goodnight, and walked out his door as if nothing happened. What they had was beautiful and it didn't hurt until she left his bed that night.

Emily spent the rest of that night cursing his name and her fragile and foolish heart. She didn't even make it to work on time.

The team tired to ignore their sneaking suspicions that something had gone wrong in the relationship department between Hotch and Emily and they suffered because of it. Their performance was impeccable of course, but their emotions were a wreck of anger, sympathy, confusion, denial, concern, and sadness. Long story short, everyone suffered because Emily suffered. Empathy was a bitch.

Dave had seen Emily's less than professional mannerisms that Monday after Hotch had ended their relationship and resisted the urge to make a scene. The man was clearly out of his mind. JJ, who knew what had happened, was the pinnacle of understanding for her friend and tried not to cringe at Emily's dispassionate outlook on the whole thing.

Emily had reached that stage where no one could get past her armor because she couldn't deal. She wouldn't deal: At least, not yet. She had a job to do and she had to prove to them that Aaron Hotchner could not throw her off her game even though she felt like crawling up in bed with a bottle of red wine while watching "An Affair to Remember" a million times. She was good at fooling Morgan and Reid, only for a little while, but Dave and JJ saw her for what she was: A very upset woman in love with a man who was emotionally unstable. Fate had not been very kind to Emily Prentiss.

The stickler is you've played not one beat wrong

You never promised me anything

Even sat me down and warned me just how they fall

I knew the odds were I'd never win

Yet here I am

It's a half-life with you as my quarterback

A daft life

The worst part was, Hotch had told Emily straight up that he couldn't give her what she really wanted. Emily had told him that was fine and so began their little affair. Unfortunately Emily seemed to forget she was a woman in love and let her heart take the blunt force of his words that night. It wasn't heartbreak: It was soul shattering. Much worse than the text book case of a typical heartbreak. Emily felt like her whole being was in pain. Stupid romance.

Maybe it was because whenever she closed her eyes she was transported back into his dark room that made her refuse to sleep unless absolutely necessary. It became increasingly hard to hide the circles under her eyes but her performance in the field didn't falter so no one said anything. Well, JJ did and on occasion Dave would send her concerned glances, which she would smile at causing Dave to shoot daggers at Hotch.

Emily had gotten very good at forcing the fake smiles which half assured Morgan and barely confused Reid. JJ, Dave and Hotch were the only ones who could see past that smile. It wasn't until Morgan caught glimpse of the tear that threatened to fall from her clouded eyes one late afternoon that he realized she was anything but okay. He had the sinking feeling that their leader was the reason Emily was pouring herself so heavily into the job and he found he didn't like that one bit.

Days past and Emily compared the bizarre feeling to falling down the rabbit hole. She felt like Alice: Not big enough to deal with the problem the correct way, and not small enough to act like it didn't happen. She was in a constant state of unrest and she was afraid it would begin to affect her job. She noted how the whole team seemed concerned for her wellbeing and it began to irk her. She wasn't some experiment to be studied, she wasn't the first and she wouldn't be the last member of the team to suffer heartache. They needed to get over it.

If Emily thought Aaron Hotchner breaking up with her was the worst thing ever, that all changed when he started avoiding her. He didn't sit next to her during cases nor did he pair them up. She thought he was acting childish: He thought he was doing her a favor.

Once Hotch started his avoidance routine, the team knew something was up. Emily acted like nothing was the matter and that just seemed to anger everyone more. Go figure.

My self-worth measured in text back tempo

It's been two days and eight minutes too slow

Well there may well be others

But I still like to pretend that

I'm the one you really want to grow old with

Emily shrugged off the offers of coffee and girls' night out insisting she was fine and didn't need to be babied just because a relationship didn't work out. It wasn't the end of the world: Serial killers kept killing, paper work continued to pile up and the world was still turning. As far as Emily Prentiss was concerned the only thing that ceased was her ability to compartmentalize as efficiently as she did before Aaron Hotchner. She figured it was a small casualty in the game of love and war.

However, the one thing that managed to break Emily's barriers down was Jack Hotchner, who had grown accustomed to seeing her around. He called her one day while she was at work and asked her if she was coming over for diner. Hotch watched as she talked on the phone then rushed to the bathroom. He couldn't mistake her tears for anything else, nor the twisting sensation in his gut. Her tears were his downfall and he had the feeling they always would be.

Emily wasn't sure what to tell the young boy. What could she tell him? She had never been in the situation where the man she had been sleeping with had a child and said child had come to rely on her as Emily began to love that child. Jack had captured her heart and refused to let it go. Hotch had warned her about that and again Emily had shrugged it off saying Jack would be fine. She had been wrong. He missed Emily and was not beyond the use of tears to get what he wanted. Kids were really smart when it came to affairs of the heart.

Emily couldn't deny Jack anything: She doubted Hotch could either. The little four-year old was a genius of sorts and an extortionist. She wondered briefly if he picked that up from his father or Haley.

Emily quickly returned to her desk and fell back into the her new habit of doing mountains of paperwork without saying a word to anyone except Reid who would push her buttons a little just to facilitate a response. She knew her friend was worried about her, that was why she humored him and would occasionally talk to him about the nerdiest things just to convince him she was okay. He didn't fall for it, but Reid was glad she was responding to him.

Got a schedule to stick to.

Got a world to keep sweet

You're so much to everyone all the time

Will you ever slow down?

Will I ever come first?

The universe contracts to sigh

Emily wondered what was next.

It wasn't like she imagined herself falling into bed with anyone else anytime soon. Hotch had ruined that illusion for her. She knew if she did try to be with anyone else all she'd see is him: His face, his body, his dark eyes as he watched her. She'd smell his scent, hear his voice: Aaron Hotchner had ruined her for any other man. Emily was both thrilled and angry at that. She figured it meant she'd only love him and that was enough. Loving Aaron Hotchner was a very difficult thing to do and she couldn't imagine loving two men at the same time if her whole heart would have to be ripped in two. That sounded unpleasant.

She felt like she was in one of those movies. Boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy. Boy fears his true feeling so he dumps her and girl spends the rest of her life alone. Wait a minute; even the movies didn't let that happen. Emily remembered how the cute guy in (500) Days of Summer even met a new girl at the end. Lucky bastard.

Emily sighed and looked down at the completed files on her desk. All she had to do was give them to Hotch and call it done. Emily looked up at his office and felt her whole body tense up. She really just wanted to go home and drown in ice cream and sob movies, but she had to get past this hurdle. Lately if one of guys was going to Hotch's office, she'd hand them her files to give to him. She looked around and the coast was clear. Dammit.

Gathering her broken parts together, Emily grabbed her files and walked up the steps and knocked on his door. Dave and JJ were walking back from her office and paused as they saw Emily's back at Hotch's door. As she walked in they traded looks: They were ready for the other fallout.

Hotch looked up from his own paper work as Emily walked in and felt that familiar twisting in his gut. He saw the circles under her eyes, the slight shake in her limbs, the dull light in her eyes and he internally winced. He deserved to be shot for what he put her though. That he didn't doubt.

"Here are those files you asked for." Emily said quietly putting them on his desk softly.

You know you'll never be lonely

No, you'll always be loved

And maybe you never need more than that

But for the surplus that loves what's to become of us

Does it even register on your conscience?

"Thank you." Hotch said trying to find the words he so desperately wanted to say.

Emily deserved so much more than what he gave her. She had one been his closest confidant besides Dave, but due to his callous behavior towards her after his retreat she was like a stranger. No, he was just a coward. He had reduced the once lively woman in front of him to a shell of who she once was. If he had known what his cowardice would've done to Emily Prentiss before that Sunday evening he never would've asked to stop. Truthfully he still didn't. His bed was a painful reminder of his great mistake.

Emily turned to leave, not wanting to stay in there any longer than absolutely necessary. She wanted to yell at him, hit him, kiss him, cry for him, and strip him. God she wanted so much from him and she felt guilty for that. He was still in grief; he had a son to take care of. His job was at stake for even thinking about her the way he did. She felt bad for wanting him. Seemed she picked up his ability to blame herself for no real reason through contact.

"Emily…" Hotch began as Emily's hand rested on the doorknob. Emily paused and then turned to face him.

"Yes sir?" she asked seeing the way his eyes flashed with pain at her attempt to distance herself from him. Guilt reared its ugly head as Emily let her shoulders sag in defeat. If he ever asked her to come back to him she would in a heartbeat. She was too far gone to deny him anything, even if she'd revert back to this sad state when he pushed her away again. It seemed inevitable after all this.

Hotch wanted to scream at her use of 'sir.' He couldn't blame her. He hadn't called her Emily in days and she was just trying to protect herself after he hurt her. He wouldn't even blame her if she hated him, but she didn't. He could see it clearly in her dark eyes that she'd never considered hating him even though he deserved it.

"Never mind." Hotch said feeling his heart break at the look of anguish that settled on Emily's face. He was pathetic. Emily nodded once and quickly opened his door and she was at her desk before he could blink. He watched Emily gather her stuff and walk quickly out of the office. He saw Reid's concerned look and JJ's shaking head. He looked once at Dave and saw the glare from the older man.

Hotch let loose a sigh and sat back in his chair. He doubted he'd be able to fix this; he didn't know where to begin.

Emily rushed home and once there she threw her stuff on the floor. She shut off her phone and locked her door. For a little while she wanted to be missing from the world of fairy tales and hopeless romantics that thrived outside of her dark world. Love was messy, complicated, and it hurt like hell and Emily was smack dab in the middle of it and all she wanted now was a way out.

Long for one last showdown from a box in a crowd

Air compressed tight to explode

I'm clenching my ticket to the only way out

As you disappear in a puff of smoke

It's a half-life with you as my quarterback

A daft life

Definitely not my happiest fic, but I didn't feel like writing something fluffy-you can't really with this song. So, should I write another chapter? Will Hotch grow a pair, should Dave rip him a new one? What about Jack? Will Emily be okay? Tune in next time... *laugh* I sound like an announcer at the end of a soap opera or something. I don't think I can leave it at this, but it's up to you guys/gals. Please let me know.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Peace out.