The Longing
Disclaimer applies
Wandering the world with a partner by your side can be exciting but wandering the world alone is a lonely journey.
Aaron Livesy was travelling the journey alone and he was sick of it, he longed to feel arms around him, to feel fingers entwined with his, to feel soft lips against his in a kiss that promised him that he'd never be alone again.
As an angry young man he had left his old life behind as he'd once again disappointed everyone who cared about him, there weren't many but to see the look in both his mams and Paddy's eyes was too much and so he'd snuck away in the depths of a winters night and had never returned, hadn't left word of where he was heading and had never contacted either of them again never gave them a hint the he was alright or in fact that he was still alive.
Five long years of never having a permanent home or job had taken their toll on the mechanic he'd suffered from chest infections brought on by cold damp living conditions, he'd been beaten up for the money he had in his pocket before being spat on as his assailant had laughed at him and walked off with £25.00 it was in that moment that Aaron made a choice
He arrived back in Emmerdale, the village he'd walked away from, unlike his leaving though, today was a warm sunny day, as he got off the bus he stared over at the pub seeing people sitting at the tables at the front, he wasn't ready yet to walk into the pub and back into his mams life so instead he headed to the garage to see his uncle
Cain was standing mug of tea in his hand as he watched a familiar figure approach, even after years of not seeing his nephew he knew it was him with a certainty that surprised him, there was something different with him but also so much was the same
As He walked up the path to the garage he could feel Cain's eyes on him he dug his hands in his pockets and continued up to the entrance without raising his eyes to meet those he could feel boring into him, he stood changing weight from foot to foot as the awkward silence stretched on, he was nervous about what kind of reception he would receive and had chosen to come to the garage first hoping to ease himself in but it seemed that Cain wasn't willing to give in easily and welcome him back, when he couldn't stand it any longer he raised his gaze and looked his uncle squarely in the eyes.
"So kid you've come back" Cain's voice lacked any sort of emotion "Did you get cured while you were away?"
Aaron felt himself bristle at his uncles words
"It's not a case of being cured, I'm gay Cain not ill" he couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice this wasn't what he wanted, wasn't how he'd envisaged his first conversation with anyone from his past
"So you're still a poof then"
Aaron turned on his heel and walked away, this was a mistake he should just leave
"Oi" Cain yelled at his back "Don't you dare leave before seeing Chas and Paddy"
He turned to look at his uncle once more
"You don't give Me orders Cain, I'll do what I like"
"Yeah just like you did five years ago, left like a coward and didn't give a toss how those two felt when you'd left, selfishly only thinking of yourself Aaron, I see nothings changed" He raised his eyebrows almost challenging the younger man
"You know nothing about Me Cain, I'm not the same person I have changed" He started walking again
"We'll see" the older mechanic chuckled and returned to repairing the Nissan Micra he been working on before his nephew had shown up
Where next?, Aaron was starting to wish he'd not come back to the village, he went to walk back to the bus stop turning sharply before wincing when the pain in his ribs reminded him of the beating he'd recently taken, He looked up at Smithy Cottage, his home, he still felt that, all the time he'd been away his memories of his life living with Paddy had all been good ones, except for the times he knew he upset and disappointed the vet, every time he'd shouted abuse or swung a fist at the older man he'd just pulled him into his arms and whispered that it would be okay.
Paddy had known before Aaron was willing to admit the reason for his anger was his own self loathing he'd become the very thing that he'd previously ridiculed, he was Gay, He liked Men he wanted to kiss men he wanted to so much more with a man than just kiss, he wanted sex with a man, he wanted cock up his arse and he couldn't deny those feelings, but he had, in all the time he'd been away he still hadn't taken that final step, he was still a virgin where Gay sex was concerned
"Aaron?"
A voice yelled
Shading his eyes from the sunlight Aaron watched as Paddy thundered down the road nearly over shooting, only stopping because he'd put his hands out and caught Aaron using him as a anchor to slow him down, he didn't get a chance to say anything before being pulled into a bone crushing hug which lasted an age but not long enough
"Cain said you were back ,he phoned, I was so scared that you'd leave before I saw you, are you okay?, are you staying? Do you want a drink? "
The words tumbled from the vets mouth, he was breathless but grinning as he looked at the young man in front of him, his son, well in everything except name, Paddy thought of Aaron as his son and he hoped that Aaron thought of him as his father, after all the pathetic excuse of a father that Aaron had hadn't shown his face in Aaron's life since before he came out, or maybe not, is that where Aaron had been staying?
"Hi Paddy"
"Hi Aaron"
Once again Aaron felt awkward, should he have come back upsetting peoples lives when he wasn't sure if he'd be staying around?, before he could analyse this any further he was again wrapped in a hug and like a cork popping out of a bottle he felt a warmth washing over him, this man holding him hadn't even questioned where he'd been he just seemed genuinely pleased that he was back
"C'mon I make you a brew" the vet smiled before walking back up to Smithy Cottage not turning to see if the younger man was following perhaps because if he wasn't the vet would be broken hearted
Aaron smiled shook his head before following Paddy, He paused for a second, took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold into his old home
Everything was the same but different Aaron noticed as he walked into the kitchen, the cupboards were the same but the walls had been painted a different colour, he watched Paddy collect cups from the same cupboard where they have always been stored but he noticed that the fridge and kettle were different, not surprising though after all he'd been away for a few years, just as he sat at the kitchen table watching Paddy bustle around making the drinks the front door opened and a voice called out
"Paddy I'm back"
"In here" the vet shouted
Walking into the kitchen was a young man slim in build with laughing brown eyes, curly mucky blond hair and a smile that made Aaron's toes curl, he felt like he'd been thumped in the stomach as those deep chocolate brown eyes turned to him
"Aaron this is Jackson" Paddy indicated to the man standing in the doorway
"Jackson this is Aaron" the vet continued
Jackson walked forwarded with his hand extended
"Nice to meet you Aaron"
The two shook hands before Jackson turned to Paddy
"Aaron?, you don't mean Aaron Livesy do you?"
"Yes that's me " Aaron answered before Paddy had a chance
"Well in that case, you got a bloody cheek just turning back up here"
The smile that had been on Jackson's face was replaced with anger as he stood looking at younger man
"What the hell do you mean?" Aaron could feel the anger rising "Who are you to judge Me?"
"I'm the one that had to rebuild this place after you trashed it and then just left like the coward that you are"
"Don't you dare, you don't know me, you don't know how hard My life has been" the mechanic tried to defend himself to defend his actions
"Oh yes I do, I know exactly how hard it's been, to come out and admit you're Gay" the blond refused to loose Eye contact with the man standing in front of him
"How the hell could you know?" Aaron was practically shouting
"Coz I've had to do it too, but unlike you I manned up and faced the music I didn't just run away I stayed around after I came out and dealt with the fall out" Jackson then turned to Paddy "I'll be in My room" he said before turning and walking out, quick steps could be heard climbing the stairs
"He's Gay?" Aaron wanted to be certain that he'd understood what the other man had meant
"Yeah he is and when he came out his dad beat him to a pulp" Paddy was aware that he was giving out information that Jackson might not want Aaron to know but he also knew he needed to explain to Aaron why he'd reacted as he had
"So how come he ended up here?, how come he's living at Smithy with you?" the mechanic questioned
"Well that's a long story, are you staying?"
Paddy tried not to sound too excited at the prospect
Aaron thought for a moment before looking up to the ceiling imagining Jackson upstairs laying on his bed, which room was his?, was it his old room?
"Yeah, Paddy would it be okay if I stayed here for a few days?"
Paddy had been stood watching as Aaron took in what he'd been told, how he looked up at the ceiling, he could see that the news that Jackson was Gay too was of particular interest to Aaron, could there be something there? Did Aaron like Jackson? He'd just have to wait and see
"I'll go and make you a bed up in the spare room" Paddy squeezed his shoulder as he past and climbed the stairs
So he'd be sleeping in the spare room that meant that his old room was now Jackson's room, a small smile appeared on the mechanic's face as he imagined Jackson laying on his bed but in his head he wasn't alone, no in his head they'd be laid on that bed together.
TBC?
Was this any good?