-Set after the Heroes as Villains universe, but before the Dark Swan storyline-

Author's Note about Narrator and Missing Scenes:

I am writing this story from the point of view of Emma, who has fallen into depression. Depression alters a person's mental process and, from my personal experiences, it can be so severe that they skew simple truths and rewrite their own past to suit the depression. You will see this story only from Emma's point of view, thus, missing the thoughts and actions of some of the characters who are not in the scene. I am using a narration technique called the "Unreliable Narrator." There are questions you will have, and I will answer them all with time. I hope you will trust me, and let me take you through this tale.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters…compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chapter 1

What was with her mother and unicorns?

A few months after their return from the alternate universe, Emma found herself sitting at her parent's kitchen table, her gaze fixed on an oddly child-like unicorn ornament sitting on the bookshelf by her mother's bed. After staring at it for a few moments, Emma had stopped studying the strange object and wondering about her mother's obsession. Instead, her eyes were distant. Her mind had wandered, as it had been inclined to do as of late, into a dark corner of her mind that had started growing stronger.

She didn't know when it started. The voice had just popped into her head shortly after life in Storybrooke had returned to normal.

She had been walking down the street and had caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror.

'You are so ugly.'

The voice hadn't really registered, so she kept on walking. Lately, it had become more and more insistent. Right now, she was being berated.

'When was the last time you went to the gym? You looked really tired in the mirror this morning. You should get plastic surgery. Maybe then he would want you back. You know that everyone hates you, right? You're so pathetic.'

Her thoughts were broken by a sharp, echoing clatter in the kitchen, and her eyes snapped to the cause of the noise.

Mary Margaret grinned sheepishly, fumbling with the toaster in front of her. "Sorry Emma…I tried to be quiet, I swear! You looked so intent…I'm so sorry."

Emma gave her mother a half smile, but one that was filled with forgiveness and admiration. "It's alright. I guess I should focus more on drinking my coffee before it gets cold…oh…wait…"

"I already started a new pot."

"Oh…how long have you been standing there?" Emma asked, nervous for the answer. How long had she been daydreaming for?

"Not long. Maybe ten minutes."

Emma closed her eyes and felt a flush creep up to her cheeks in embarrassment. "Sorry. I guess I didn't hear you come down."

"You looked very intent on whatever problem you were working on." Her mother mused. "Do you want to talk about it? You know, hash it out, brainstorm, that kind of thing?"

Emma was praying that her face didn't give away her embarrassment at being caught. There was no way that she was going to work out this particular issue with her. They were becoming closer with each passing day, but it was still a strained relationship. Mary Margaret desperately wanted to be the parents to their daughter that they couldn't be before the curse was lifted, but Emma had gone through hell and back and it was going to take a little bit more than saving the world a few times to change that.

She smiled. "Thanks, but this is a problem I have to work out for myself."

Mary Margaret was terrible at hiding her emotions, and Emma felt a twinge of remorse over the hurt and guilt that passed across her mother's face. It was only momentary, though, because the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. David grinned at his wife and daughter, bid them both a hearty good morning, and immediately launched into planning the day at the Sheriff's office with Emma while he scurried through the kitchen preparing his breakfast. Emma, glad for the distraction, gratefully obliged. Mary Margaret watched the two over the brim of her coffee cup, unable to hide her jealousy of her husband who had so easily waltzed his way into Emma's world.

After a good ten minutes of shop talk, Emma rose to her feet and left the table to get ready for the day. She didn't think the town would appreciate their sheriff keeping order in a pair of old pajama bottoms and an oversized snoopy t-shirt. She did not take long to dress. Jeans, tank top, and leather jacket. Done. She had never had a reason or desire to dress fashionably. It never interested her. The simpler she could dress was better in every way.

It was almost the same in every aspect of her life. Keep it simple. If it takes too long to figure out, it is not worth the time. Drop it, and move on.

Drop it and move on…was that what she was doing it to him? Because it was too complex for her?

She was in the middle of quickly brushing her hair when she caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She paused, then leaned forward to study her face in the mirror. It was a plain face to her. Nothing special. Blond hair, blue eyes, a small nose, rounded face. For a meat sack, it was pretty unexciting and ordinary. But it was this face and this body that had caused so much grief in such little time. Abandoning Henry, treating her mother like a villain, ignoring the affections of a man who loved her dearly…

'I hate you.'

The thought crossed her mind so quickly that she barely registered it, but she didn't argue. Hanging her head in quiet shame, she ran the brush through her hair a few more times, her mind seething anytime her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror.

'You're pathetic.'

She practically slammed the brush down on the counter and then, putting her mask back on for the rest of the world to see, she made her way downstairs to her waiting father.

Life had been relatively normal since the return to Storybrooke. There were no monsters to battle, no quests to complete, no evil to be seen. Everything was peaceful.

They stopped in at Granny's and each grabbed a donut before heading to the sheriff's station. There was the usual small talk with Granny and between each other. Nothing too heavy. But as David drove that old blue truck down the road, Emma found herself only half listening to the conversation.

Then, she felt her pulse quicken and she shifted forward in her seat, a smile unknowingly breaking on her face. The leather jacket, a glint of metal…she felt her pulse quicken. 'Killian.' She called to him inwardly as they drove past. Her eyes searched for his face to see if he was going to recognize her in the car.

But he wasn't alone. And he didn't look up.

Her breath hitched in her throat. He was walking with Ruby…and she was holding onto his arm.

He was laughing at whatever she had said, and she was beaming ear to ear, her hands grasping his arm tenderly.

Emma tore her eyes away and stared straight forward.

"I think we should propose at the next town meeting new regulation of the mines. You know, proper inspections and whatnot." When he received no reply, David glanced over at his daughter. "Em? Are you listening?"

Emma snapped back into focus, shutting her feelings down as she had learned to do throughout her life. This time was hard for some reason, but she managed and smiled at her dad. "Yeah! Sorry. Dazed out there for a minute. Guess I just need some more coffee."

David smiled. "It's okay." And then he continued on to the topic of new mining legislation while Emma's head swirled with emotion. They were soon at the office, and David was still talking. They made a fresh pot of coffee, and then Emma quietly excused herself into her office, explaining that they both had paperwork to catch up on. He agreed, and they both settled in to attack the epic amount of paperwork that had gone unheeded for far too long. "And people think cops just chase bad guys." She heard David mumble as he picked up his first file and smiled to herself.

Closing the door behind her, Emma tossed the donut into the garbage and sat heavily down into the uncomfortable wooden chair behind the desk. Her face was blank, but her heart felt sore. She had waited too long. She had chased him away.

'Well what did you expect?' the voice in her head drawled. 'You're un-loveable. You know this. And it's not like you are anything special. Especially compared to Ruby.'

Emma absently picked up the first file and flipped it open. Some sort of break and enter. She only managed to skim the details of the case as she could not force herself to focus on what exactly she was supposed to do with it.

Her heart was hurting in a way that she had never felt before, and she didn't like it. How could he be with Ruby? He had never shown any interest in her during their time together. What had changed? And why had no one told her? Had everyone in this incredibly small town forgotten to mention it all at once? It would have been juicy gossip, after all. Ruby stole the saviour's man.

But he wasn't her man. She had never acted on it. And he moved on, and it looked as if he had forgotten about her.

Come to think about it, she wondered if everyone had forgotten about her. It wasn't as if anyone came to visit her for fun. All of the visitors to her parent's apartment over the past month had been to see the new baby and to discuss town matters with Mary Margaret. No one ever made it a point to come see her, unless it was about the law.

'You're boring, dull, and your sense of humour is terrible.'

She came to the conclusion that this was the typical of this town. She was only 'The Savior' when she was keeping them from destruction, but as soon as the town was safe, everyone forgot about her. Even Henry had started spending less time with her. Regina and Robin were always out doing fun and exciting things in the woods, so Henry gladly followed them whenever he could. He always came back with thrilling adventures and excitedly explained all of the new skills Robin was showing him: tracking, hunting, foraging, etc. Emma never objected to this; Robin was a great role model for Henry. He was genuinely good, and he brought out the best in Regina.

With a heavy heart as she analyzed Kilian, Ruby, and the town's ambivalence towards her, she began to realize that she really wasn't needed in the normal daily life of Storybrooke. Henry had Regina and Robin, the town was safe, her parents had the new baby to look after which ultimately replaced Emma…

'They don't need you. Nobody needs you.'

Emma lowered the file slowly and stared at the door in front of her.

'They would actually probably be better off without you.' The voice seemed to hiss in her ear. 'Obviously no one would miss you. Regina can take over as the Savior.'

She was snapped out of her internal torture by a sudden explosion that rocked the building, causing her coffee mug to fall off the desk and shatter on the floor. Car alarms were going off outside, and she jumped to her feet. Throwing open the door, she looked at her dad. They didn't need to say anything to each other before they were running out of the office.

They weren't the only ones running outside to see what was going on. It seemed like the whole town had exited their respective buildings. The car alarms were still going off, and soon, everyone around her was practically yelling questions at her. "What happened?" "Are we under attack?"

David was doing his best to stay calm, but even he was having a difficult time. Emma knew he was worried about Mary Margaret and the baby, and she prayed that he stayed with her to help handle the oncoming panic she knew would come from the town.

They were surrounded almost instantly. Everyone in town was running to her, their eyes filled with fear. She knew they knew she would take care of it.

The crowd immediately began to yell questions at her, and all she could do was try to explain that she knew as much as they did and that they had to get through.

"Swan!" Emma winced inwardly at the gruff voice that called to her, but also felt her body tingle with the excitement of his calling her name. Killian was in front of her now, having pushed through the throng of onlookers yelling questions. His ocean blue eyes caught hers and they held each other's gaze for a moment until he broke it off and hurriedly said "It came from the wishing well!"

She nodded for him to lead the way and looked back to David. He mutely agreed and motioned for her to follow first. The crowd parted, letting them through, but immediately swarmed back together, their terror and uncertainty peaking.

They all took off at a jog to the woods; Killian, Emma, David, and then Ruby. Ruby's eyes were intent on the task at hand, so Emma had a fleeting thought of how easy it would be to trip the wolf-girl and have her bash her pretty face into a tree.

But then she shoved her emotions aside again. She needed to focus.

They arrived shortly at the wishing well, or, rather, what used to be the wishing well. Emma's jaw dropped as she took in the scene in front of her. Where the well had once been, there was now only a ten foot deep crater. The trees for a good hundred yards around it were levelled, so getting to the crater took great skill and care. Climbing over and under all of the destroyed trees, Emma could only wonder at what had caused this destruction.

Six feet around the edge of the crater was clear of any debris, so when the foursome finally managed to climb their way to it, it was no surprise to see Regina, Robin, and Gold already standing around. Robin and Regina turned to them, and Emma could not read the expressions on their face. It was a mixture of several emotions at once, and she just couldn't tell what they were. Gold wouldn't turn around as they approached. He was shaking. Leaning heavily on his cane for support. As Emma approached, Regina tried to say something. "Emma…it's…" but she couldn't get the words out.

"What is it?" Emma asked, panicked, running to Regina's side. She looked from Regina into the crater and felt the colour drain from her face.

At the bottom of the crater, a naked figure was shakily getting to his feet.

"No…"

Gold fell to his knees with a muffled sob of joy. "My boy…"

Emma couldn't move. She was frozen in place, and didn't react when Killian ran up beside her and peered into the pit.

Neal raised his head up and looked at them all with a wide, bright smile. He was fully nude, his skin glistening in the clearing from sweat that glistened on his muscular body. He tried to push himself to his feet, but she watched his muscles give out at his legs buckled under the attempt. He shook his head, then shakily tried to get up once more. His laugh echoed through the clearing as his legs buckled underneath him again. His joy was apparent on his face, and his eyes watered from the overflow of emotion coursing through his veins.

"I…I'm going to need some help I think!" he called up to them. His voice seemed to snap the men out of their reverie, and Emma barely registered the ensuing bustle around her.

Emma felt like she was in a dream. Sound was muffled, and the world around her was hazy. She couldn't focus. Before she could even fully comprehend what was happening, David, Killian, and Robin had tied a rope to one of the downed trees, and, using it as a railing of sorts, David and Killian were now slowly descending the steep embankment to Neal, while Robin stood at the top, steadying the rope. Neal laughed a hearty, gruff laugh every few minutes, apparently just as shocked as everyone else of his own appearance into the world. As the minutes bore on, he seemed to grow stronger. He no longer shook, and was finally able to stand without collapsing by the time the men reached him.

He grinned widely as they reached him and immediately dragged David, who was the first one to reach the bottom, into a ferocious bear hug. David looked incredibly awkward, and patted Neal's bare back in a 'there-there' sort of way. Killian was next, and apparently Neal didn't discriminate in his showing of joy. He jumped on Killian and also dragged the smaller man into a hug.

"I can't believe it's you!" Neal shouted with joy as he stepped back, beaming at both men.

"Aye, aye, mate, we get that you're happy to see us…how about we get something to sheath the lizard, eh?" Killian grunted, trying fervently to keep his eyes anywhere but Neal.

Neal just shrugged and, reaching past both men, grabbed the rope and immediately began to climb the wall, his eyes focused on Emma as he did. Killian and David in unison tried to protest, citing that he was weak and that they would carry him. Neal ignored them. His eyes were set on the one thing he had fought so hard to come back for.

Emma was still frozen in place. Regina was at her side immediately, trying to discern what kind of magic was powerful enough to bring a man back from the dead. Emma didn't hear a word she said. All she knew was that Neal's eyes were locked on her, and he was quickly making his way up the rope.

Gold was practically jumping with joy on her other side, his arm patting her shoulder every few minutes in excitement. He was not coherent at this point, and even he was ignoring Regina's pleas to figure out how Neal got there. "Yes yes we can talk about all of that later! My boy's home!" Gold managed a quick sentence to Regina, hoping she would refrain from ruining this moment that he had dreamed of for so long.

Neal was at the top of the crater now. Robin reached down and grasped his hand, pulling him onto the grass with a grunt.

Emma felt as if there was a crushing sensation in her chest. She was having trouble breathing. Hell, she was having trouble just standing straight.

Neal stood straight, and strode to her with purpose. He was on her in just a few short strides, and she found herself scooped into a hug. His muscular body pressed to hers, his hands wrapped around her, one at the small of her back, one snaking behind her neck. He pulled her to him, pushing her head into his shoulder and burying his own face into her neck. He gripped her tightly.

She couldn't hold herself up anymore. She went limp, and they both fell to their knees. Neal still held her tight to him.

"Emma." He murmured desperately into her ear. "Emma. Emma." He kissed the side of her head.

She looked up and around at the group surrounding them. David, Gold, Regina, Robin, and Ruby. With their intense gazes on them, Emma felt obligated to hug him back. Awkwardly, she groped to find a way to return his affection. She hadn't been held in so long that she had forgotten where to put her hands, and his grip was so tight. Plus he was naked, and she really didn't know what she was allowed to touch, especially in front of a crowd. Finally, she freed one arm and wrapped it around his shoulder and haphazardly hugged him back.

"Emma." He groaned again into her ear. "I came back to you."