Beautiful People

2,000+ word chapter

Pairings: NaruSasu later chap, implied SakuIno, NejiGaa, NaruHina

Beta: None

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The day after Naruto had finally succeeded in bringing back the stubborn raven was probably the day I started feeling worse and worse. It wasn't as if I was blaming them for what happened really, I was very glad that Naruto had finally completed what his whole life had revolved around, he looked so proud when he came trotting through the Konoha gates where everyone had gathered to see him, lopsided grin and a grumpy yet blushing Uchiha being carried bridal style in his arms.

It was an adorable sight, the two of them, because they looked like they fit together, and fit well together.

And I think that was probably what hurt the most. After the cheering had died down, and everybody crowded around to see the Uchiha get punched and hugged and cried on for all he was worth, and I realized that I had been leaning against the gate, just staring out at the sun until Neji told me it was time to go home, the party was over. I actually don't remember any of that celebration past the blonde's smile…He always had a beautiful smile.

That night I had locked myself away in my room, closed all my shades off to the glare of the moon, and examined myself over and over again in my bathroom mirror.

What was it? What was so wrong with me? Where was this undoubtedly, blindingly, hideous ugly that everyone could see on me?

And how come I couldn't find it?

I had to think back. Sasuke did look a lot different from the last time I must've saw him. He was tall, filled out with muscle in all the right places, sculpted body and his hair style didn't change, only looked fuller. I thought Naruto had liked long hair. I guess I was wrong. So I took out my scissors and cut it off, I cut off so much hair that night that by the next morning I don't even think Sakura would be able to style the mess I just put my poor hair in.

It had scattered all over my floor in shreds, dark-blue looking shreds. But they didn't shine the way Sasuke's did in that sunlight today, all sparkly and gleaming, mine just laid on the linoleum floor, gray and dull.

Nothing I do can compare to the way Sasuke does anything. And once I finally grasped myself around that fact, I cried my eyes out on the floor of my bathroom until I was tuckered out and could only crawl into my bed, without enough strength to pull the comforter over me.

It hurt a lot, and the only thing I could dream about was watching him and Sasuke dance across the grassy plains where they would usually train, and where I used to cower behind the nearest tree and watch them with awe. That was so long ago, almost 4 years. I always waited for the two of them to get tired enough so I could present Naruto with the homemade lunch I made for him. But they never did.

They never got fucking tired of each other.

I was wrong.

Sakura could fix any hairdo.

And she did, reluctantly, but only after screaming and lecturing me on not cutting all that "beautiful, silky hair" without asking her first. It was harsh, but eventually she calmed down and asked me the real reason why I cut it off. This was one of those times I don't look back on too fondly, having to explain something so personal to your best friend.

"I…" I must've blushed because it got really hot all of a sudden, "I cut it because it wasn't shiny like Sasuke's is…"

She stared at me blankly for what seemed like a long time before she nodded and gave me a soft "oh" and then she threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

"That's not a very good reason to cut off all that beautiful hair of yours, Hina-chan."

And that's when I started to cry, really loud and childish like. The kind of cry you do when you're so glad that someone understands without telling you she understands. It was like…like, a hard cry that you get when you're just so pissed at someone, at no one, at the fucking world and you want everyone to hear you. The kind where tears, snot and saliva and everything is all over your face and you can't even begin to give a damn because you're so unhappy right then.

And I was. I was really unhappy.

But she let me cry there on her shoulder, and when I was done, she gave me some tissues, let me clean myself up and calm down, and then she fixed my hair into a short coif hairstyle. My hair went barely past the middle of my ears. But I liked it, it was short, and I always liked my short hair. I had only made it long because when Naruto started dating girls again they all had one thing in common long hair.

I had to admit I was initially pleased when I saw my hair in the mirror, all cut and neat, but it wasn't shining. And then I realized who I was seeing, and I frowned. I was ugly.

"What?" It was Sakura's concerned voice; she had let the mirror slide down in her slackening grip as she looked at me, but I didn't tear my eyes away from my face in the mirror.

I sighed; this was just going to get difficult again. "Do you…do you ever feel, like…you're ugly?"

She laughed at that one. "All the time. You have no idea what it's like to be the only one with pink hair for miles." I shook my head.

"No, I mean, just…ugly. Just really ugly where you can't seem to stop staring and all you wanna do is rip your face apart and tear it into a million pieces and―"

I stopped to see if Sakura was still following, and by the way her scared and worried eyes bore into mine, I could tell she wasn't. "Hina-chan, you're beautiful, how can you say stuff like that?"

I could only grip my hands tight and avoided her prying gaze, muttering softly. "I can only be ugly if he never looks at me."

This got Sakura to get suddenly really serious. She set the mirror down and got down on her knees in front of me, placing her hands on my lap gently, as if she was worshiping me. She grasped my hands tightly, and spoke slowly.

"Listen to me, I know what you mean. You think all those days Sasuke-kun was gone I didn't think about Sasuke and how ugly I must've been if he didn't even bother to ever look at me. Do you remember, I was the last person he saw before he left Konoha. He didn't spare me a glance after I told him how much I loved him. I know exactly what you're talking about."

This got me to stop and wince. I must've been prying into some of her hidden emotions, talking about something so freely when I didn't even consider her feelings about my current condition. Of course she can relate, she was the one in love with Sasuke all those years, and he never bothered to pay attention to her, quite like me. "And Naruto? Naruto always paid attention to you, he really liked you, and all you did was treat him like Sasuke treated you. You were never un-appealing, Sakura. Naruto loved you."

Sakura gave a bitter laugh, and shook her head and I felt bad, throwing my problems on her would only make the situation worse, and I was bringing up things I had no place to. But she continued talking anyway.

"I felt ugly because the one person I wanted to be beautiful for never saw me that way. It drove me nuts, when he left I…I didn't know what to do with myself, it was like someone had taken the life energy from me and crushed it in myself, because I knew that he didn't stay for me, and wasn't coming back for me. And I thought that it was because I was ugly, physically or emotionally, I had to have been ugly for him to be repulsed all this time, right?" She gave another sad chuckle, and placed her hands on mine, rubbing them gently.

"I did some horrible things then."

This caught my interest, "What? What did you do?" I started fearing the worst. What if Sakura had really lost her mind and killed someone, or stole something valuable? With all these thoughts running through my head, I didn't notice that Sakura had already stood and pulled off her shirt, exposing herself.

Then I saw it, it was faint, but still noticeable. A deep scar running half down from her shoulder to the top of her left breast, and I wondered why I never noticed it before, or maybe I had just passed it off as one of those battle scars from a previous mission. One thing was clear enough to me now.

She had cut herself.

I had snatched my hands away and placed them to my lips to stifle a loud cry, and then to my heart to slow the loud thumping in my chest. I don't remember what came first, the fact that I was so floored that Sakura Haruno had cut herself, or the fact that last night I had wanted to do the very same thing, but my sadness hadn't driven me that far yet. She seemed to understand everything.

"This is what happened to me because I let one person's actions run the way I felt about myself, and I regret it everyday, because I have to live with this scar." She put her shirt back on and then pulled me out of the chair and walked me into her bedroom. I stood in the doorway while she opened up on her drawers and pulled out a journal, small, with tiny little water lilies all over it. She placed in my hands and placed a finger to my lips, silencing any of the million things I wanted to say in that moment.

Sakura gave me one of those thousand-watt smiles I'll only ever see again in my dreams. "When I was…going through my own self-discovery, someone recommended that I write in this journal what I saw ugly in myself, and then what I saw beautiful in everyone else. It helped me understand what beauty really was, and it saved me from going crazy after Sasuke-kun left."

She enclosed my hands around the journal. "I couldn't save myself from my own self-afflictions, but I will save you. Take this home and every time you start to look to closely in a mirror I want you to pull this out and write about the first person that you saw that day, and why you think they are beautiful. When you're done, I'll show you mine."

I couldn't help but start talking quickly, afraid she'll silence me again. "What do you mean? How long do I write for, and when do I know when you start writing? How do you know this can help me? What if―"

She silenced me again. "You'll know who to write about, Hina-chan."

"And how do I know when I don't have to write anymore?" I pleaded with her for more answers; this simply wasn't enough to go on!

"You'll know when the time is just right. I did." She smiled and pushed me from the doorway gently, signaling that it was time for me to go.

I opened my mouth to say one more thing. "I don't know about all this Sakura, but I trust you…uhh, thank you. I'll leave."

And without another word, I left and shut the door tightly behind me, clutching the journal in my fingers all the way until I got home, and I kept myself in my room all that night, skipping dinner.

That's how you came to be my new journal.

It doesn't seem fitting to call you journal all the time so I'll call you…Sakura. Seems appropriate doesn't it?

Anyway, it's late and I have to go to bed, I have a feeling you're going to be causing me a lot of trouble tomorrow.

Goodnight, Sakura.

Love, Hinata.


The last part was supposed to seem like she was writing in the journal, but maybe I didn't make myself clear enough with that. Anyway, this story is going to include everyone and let me just let you guys no something now, it's not an angst fiction, and after Sakura's little issue I'm not gonna mention self-mutilation for a while, because I don't feel comfortable, and I never planned to make Hinata do it, so don't worry. I'm trying a new thing because I think that too many people don't see that Hinata can be a very complicated person to write about and so many people make her shy and write her stuttering all the time, well I'm taking a stand against it and I want everyone to read this that Hinata doesn't have to be shy, she can curse, she can cry, and she can get angry. Just like Naruto, he doesn't always have to be a stupid, loud, obnoxious blonde does he? He's not going to be that here in this fic either, cuz he's going to be seme. Let's explore the possibilities here people!

Right now I'm working on another fic, so it might be awhile until I update again, but I'm looking for a BETA for this story to help me progress it, if you're interested, leave me a review and let me know. Other than that, thank you for reading and please review!