Genma always thought of Raidou as old.
It had nothing to do with his actual age. Ever since Genma was ten and Raidou had been twelve, Raidou had been old. Older was probably a better word, but Raidou has always just been old. Always, and he didn't seem to mind...much, anyway. Therefore, Genma has never been old. Raidou had always gotten older, keeping Genma forever two years behind 'old.'
Except now.
Now, Genma is going to be fourty-six in a few minutes. Genma knows he was born at about eight-o-clock in the morning, and it's now some time after seven. Genma isn't really paying attention to the clock. He's thinking about Raidou, and how he was old--how Genma was never going to get old because Raidou was old, and Genma would never be as old as Raidou.
Except now.
Now, everything is different. Now Raidou isn't getting any older, and Genma keeps marching on, three long years of steadily marching towards old. It would be easier if Genma hadn't convinced himself he'd never be old. Now, he is going to be old, and he is going to keep getting older as the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years drag him along. How did Raidou ever stand being old all the time? How will Genma stand it? He's almost old now. Almost.
Except now.
Now, the clock had struck eight. Genma is now officially fourty-six, and he is now old. Older than Raidou, old, decrepit, and worn out. He's lived through two great ninja wars. He's outlived three Hokages. He's seen river of blood and killed more people than he knows. Those things don't make him old, though. He never thought he'd get old. He was never going to get old.
Except now.
Now, Raidou has been dead for three years. He died at the round age of fourty-five, making Genma laugh through his tears. Only Raidou would die on such a nice round number. Only Raidou would die after surviving more than thirty years as an active ninja with three seperate stints in ANBU and be killed by pnuemonia. In all honesty, it had been peaceful. Genma had been with him most of the time, and just watched the great old man slip away inch by inch, day by day, second by second. Genma always thought they'd die together on some mission gone wrong.
Except now.
Now, Genma is alone in a small house he shared with Raidou because they were sick of apartments and living alone. Genma had enjoyed having someone else cook his breakfast. Raidou enjoyed having someone else to do grocery shopping. None of those things seem to matter anymore. Genma sits and stares at the clock, and feel all the years settled heavy in his bones. His eye lids want to fall shut. He wants to go back to bed and sleep some more. He feels old. He's never felt old before. Never, not even when he's dragged back almost dead from a mission. He's never ever felt old before.
Except now.
Genma tips his head back and laughs at the ceiling. "Damn you, Raidou, you've made me old."
A/N:Eyergh, first time I've ever put swearing in a fic. I'm serious, it is. I wouldn't have put it in this fic, but I couldn't find another way to make Genma's line sound right. Pah... Hope you enjoyed the angst! Now, please, review.