Okay, so it's already too late. But I'm putting this up because I realized this one is kinda very important. I also made revisions with the other chappies because I realized I wrote it in a way that would make readers think its Yui-Suzaku and not Yui-Seiryuu. Heehee. I'm still working on "the meeting chapter" but I hope my latest offering will suffice, for now.

Disclaimer: FY is not mine.

"The more I know of the world,

the more I am convinced that I shall never...

see a man whom I can really love.

I require so much!"

Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

I want only one thing… You…

Hongou Yui awoke with a start, her head buzzing. The sudden waking made her body numb but she knew it was partly to be blamed. She went out partying the night before, drinking to her heart's content. No, there was no occasion whatsoever. She was just celebrating her year of being single. And she wanted to be too drunk to remember certain things.

A pain shot through her temple and she drastically pulled the nearby drawer. She uttered curses as she took out a medicine and chew it. Bitterness spread through her tongue. She made a face, mentally noting to herself to never drink medicine without water again—though she always tend to forget.

She snuggled to bed and closed her eyes, willing the pain to disappear. She was still very sleepy and the cold rainy weather was not helping her sober mood. Silence filled the room, nothing but the light tapping of the rain made sounds within her enclosed space. She can't even hear her breathing.

Yui was deep in thoughts. Stupidly deep in thoughts. It's the same dream again, of the same man, in that unknown place. Those dreams filled her when she was in high school, but she was in college now, for heaven's sake. Such adolescent thoughts were, well, immature for her age. That was why, she resorted to drinking lately. Under normal circumstances, being intoxicated meant dreamless sleep. But not tonight. Oh boy. She had been dreaming again since college started.

She was losing it. She was succumbing again, to that melancholic wistful feeling. Once upon a time, she was a miko. She went inside a book, made evil deeds, broke her heart, and met him. Him. Yui shook her head. Oh no, she was not dwelling on those memories again. She doesn't even have those to begin with.

The cold drops of the shower calmed her. The blonde closed her eyes and let the cool water wash through every part of her body. And the thoughts reappeared again. Damn shower, it always makes her remember. Feelings with no images. There were sounds and voices. But she couldn't remember a god damn thing.

The thing was this: After the dragon god devoured her and she woke up remembering nothing, she was bombarded with all these foreign emotions. There were voices in her head, voices that make itself heard in dreams.

"Seiryuu…" she whispered. "Let me go… I don't want to remember you anymore…" She said softly, wishing that god was listening.

She knew nothing of him—no face, no voice. Just a name. And those constant phrases she hears in her dreams. It was probably his voice, that deep sultry omniscient voice that, at times, ignites weird passions in her body. Sometimes it lulls her to a deeper sleep. But most of the time, like what just happened, it terrifies her. The god, in her dreams, calling, chanting… Those were enough to drive her to madness. And at the age of 18, when love ceased being romantic and realities trump things such as idealism, Yui realized she doesn't want him anymore. She just wants to forget the book and everything in it. She just wants to be… free.

Her mobile phone rang and Yui's eyes shot open. That was her cue. It was time to return to reality.

By nine in the morning she was already walking to university, in a muted outfit. She passed by a small community bookstore, which was still closed and briefly wondered if it'll open soon. She had read all the books she bought last month and is in need of new supplies. Being the introvert that she is and has always been, she preferred going to smaller bookstores. She really hates meeting familiar faces in the crowd and realizing her life was a tad lonelier than theirs once they part.

Yui didn't waste another minute and left, searching for the coffee shop where Miaka was waiting. It was the coffee shop where Taka Sukunami, Miaka's boyfriend, works. It was just around the bend. And true enough, Miaka was there, waving at her when she arrived.

"Yui! Ohayou!" she called in that cheery voice. Yui smiled at her bestfriend.

They were already college freshmen and Miaka had been in a relationship with a Tamahome reincarnation—Taka Sukunami—for more than three years. They were both studying in Todai and though they took different courses, they were taking the same general subjects. Yui sighed and smiled at her bestfriend. It's been three years since their adventures in the land of the four gods and the last thing she heard, the book finally collapsed and disappeared for good.

The incident about the book made Miaka gloomy but she told her the book served only as a link between the two worlds, its demise does not mean the end of the other world, but of the portal that connects those two worlds. It was merely a hypothesis but she had a feeling she got it right. But it was just a guess. Well, if the book disappeared for good, he would have disappeared from her dreams too. But Yui knew better. Seiryuu was still in her thoughts. Though sometimes (like today), she wished he'd disappear.

"Ohayou," she greeted back as she took her seat. Taka immediately came to their table and took her order. After taking notes, he left and promised to stop and chat once his break comes. "Let's make this quick. I have to run to the library before it rains again," she told her friend. Miaka made a face.

"Fine! Anyway, how was last night?" Miaka asked right off the bat. She knew she was partying last night. "Did you find a lucky guy?"

Yui shook her head. "No. They want was casual sex. I'm not that type of girl, you know," she pointed out. Miaka made a face.

"Yui, it's a club, where people dance and get drunk. Do you expect Prince Charming to be in a place like that?!" she commented, making a face that made Yui laugh lightly.

"Mi-chan, I don't believe in Prince Charming," Yui answered. "I'm too old for fairy tails. Besides, I didn't go to the club to find true love."

"Then why—" Miaka stopped in mid-sentence when she realized what the blonde meant. "Oh. My. God. You were looking for a one night stand!" she blurted out. It's a good thing no one was around the place. Yui would have been labelled as a slut if that happened.

"Kinda. Well, that was the plan," she confessed. "I met a few guys, got tipsy. But you know what I realized?" Yui asked and Miaka shook her head, leaving closer. "Even if I'm drunk, I can't force myself to like the guys there."

"Your standards are just too high, Yu-chan," she pointed out in the exact time Taka came out to hand the orders. Miaka smiled sweetly at her boyfriend. At this instant, Yui looked away, feeling awkward. Until now, she could not bring herself to look at them when they get intimate. Again, she mentally reminded herself that she doesn't like realizing her life was lonelier than other people.

"I don't have standards," Yui pointed out immediately after Taka left, resuming the conversation.

"Right," the brunette said, rolling her eyes. "You only give your attention to guys with an impressive resume. Yui, the only man who can catch your attention is a too-good-to-be true guy. You know, like a god," she said matter-of-factly. Yui didn't respond. The last word caught her off-guard. God. Miaka, her bestfriend, the person who knew her, said she wanted a god.

Oh no. It was a crazy thought. She shook her head. "No." Miaka didn't know anything about the dreams. It was her little secret. She deliberated telling her countless times but stopped; she felt that if she shared it with the brunette, she would be divulging her most intimate thoughts, and really there are things people keep to themselves.

"Yui, listen," Miaka whispered, leaning closer. Yui's trail of thoughts stopped and she was briefly thankful it did. "I know someone who likes you a lot. I mean, I know its awkward and all since you kinda just broke up with Tetsuya…"

"Oh-kay…" The blonde said, urging her friend to say more.

"You see, I didn't know he likes you. So I um, I'm not supposed to say, but um…" Miaka was finding the words to say what she meant without divulging much. Very mature Miaka, Yui thought to herself. "I know this person and… since you're already out there looking for a guy… I mean… I was wondering if I can arrange you and him on a date or something."

"That's sounds like a good idea," Yui said half-heartedly. Miaka squealed.

"That's amazing!" she said, looking at Taka, who answered his girlfriend with a smile. Apparently, he was listening on them the whole time. The two probably planned this to begin with. "I'll just let you know when. I won't tell you his name so you'll be surprised!"

Miaka kept on talking about this person, albeit giving very little details. In the end, Yui stopped trying to guess who it was. She doesn't really care anyway. She wanted a relationship, a real one, something more than what she had with Tetsuya. Maybe once she does find one, these dreams would stop haunting her.

Maybe then, she'd be free for real.

A/N: The Suzaku-Yui chapter is moving to chapter 3. I'm doing revisions in the current chapter 2 and it might end up as chapter 4 or might be chopped to different chappies. Gomen! But I'm already working on the succeeding chapter.