Hi! Well, I randomly came up with this idea one day, I was toying around with random scenarios and this one seemed to fit! Its totally AU but at the same time, the characteristics of the main set are pretty much along the same lines.
Oh and before I begin, Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all her characters. I'm simply borrowing them for a little humorous fun and some delicious lemons.
PS. Reviews bring faster updates!!! Nothing makes me happier than hearing what you all think!
-Sallie
Chapter 1
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Shit. Shit! I glared at the dysfunctional alarm clock whose bright blue digits read 8:07 AM, simultaneously tossing off my satin sheets and sprinting to my bathroom. This was the second time in the last week that I was going to be late. I really needed to invest in a decent alarm clock which worked properly.
I grabbed at my toothbrush and contemplated a shower. No, not enough time. A whore's bath would have to do. Rinsing my mouth, I rushed back out stubbing my toe on the door frame. Fuck. Well, nothing was going right today.
I hobbled over to my dresser, throwing off my night clothes and grasping the first outfit that looked presentable. Pulling on dress pants and a top, I snatched the nearest perfume bottle and sprayed some in the air before stepping into it.
Flying into the kitchen I quickly wrapped my now bleeding toe with a wet paper towel before shoving my feet into a pair of heels. Tossing my keys and phone into my bag I flew out the door and decided to take the stairs. The elevator was a bitch, especially in the mornings. I winced in pain from the pressure on my toe but continued on my way to my job.
Oh by the way I'm an assistant to the secretarial assistant of Law Offices of Cullen and McCarty. Which basically meant I get coffee for the guy who gets coffee for the lawyers. Oh thank you, my dear Ivy League degree. Graduating at the top of my class at Yale and then acing the LSATs and getting into Harvard Law were at the top of my accomplishments. And yet, with all of these, I landed the most irrelevant internship possible a few weeks back.
I'm Bella Swan; I'm 24, employed as a bitch, and these are my tales from my life.
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I grabbed the handle of the door with all my might and flung it open, needing to make it to my office (or my chair next to the kitchen) as soon as possible. Why, I don't know- my job has taught me nothing about the challenging world of law, except that these top litigators really need to get off of their asses more and get their own damned coffee.
Quickening my pace I ran smack dab into Edward Cullen. Co-founder of the company along with his best friend Emmett McCarty. One of the youngest men in his profession- 28 years old. And surely the most good looking. He was tall, dark and handsome, the most lethal combination for many women. His brown hair had tantalizing threads of bronze running through it and screamed "fuck me". And don't even get me started on his face. …Ok get me started. His bright green eyes were framed by thick lashes; his nose sharp and his lips full. He had that George Clooney jaw, you know, the strong wide one that looks good enough to lick? And he had these strong shoulders that are perfectly highlighted by the expensive suits he wears and his… my head snapped back up and I caught his annoyed glare as he muttered something about my ineptness before sidestepping me and striding away.
Fan-fucking-tastic. Not only am I late, but I just openly ogled my boss. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I searched my purse for those two Tylenols that I desperately needed. Oh, this day was going to be long.
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"Bella, can you come and bring me the Anderson file? Cullen needs it immediately…and then maybe after that you can just come" came Mike's flirty voice. Mike. I guess he was my direct boss since I reported to him. Stupid fucker. That man literally had no qualms about hitting on the office staff. It started with Angela, the cute receptionist who was MARRIED! Then when that seemed to be going nowhere he moved on to me. Sometimes I'd really like to kick him in the balls, but unfortunately I needed this useless internship and he was really harmless, aside from his crude, innuendo-filled demands.
"Yeah, yeah…hold up" ,I responded quickly sifting through the piles and piles of manila envelopes before locating the correct one. I walked over to Mike's desk and dropped it there without a second glance to his lecherous gaze.
Apparently that wasn't good enough. "Oh, Bella" came his irritating voice. "I'm a little busy here- you know, my job's pretty tough, that's how I rake in the big bucks, so could you take this into Cullen's office directly"?
I almost laughed in his face at his attempt at flattering me. Big bucks? I would be surprised if they paid him above minimum wage, that's how menial his job was. Then again if his job was menial, what was mine? Oh right. Non-existent. That's why this was an UNPAID internship. Giving him a tight smile, I picked up the file and stalked to the elevator, getting in and hitting the button to the top floor.
I rode the elevator silently to the top floor, and when I stepped out my jaw almost hit the floor. The offices here were fully furnished; the windows large and offering a tempting view of Chicago. There was a full-fledged bar on one end and past that I noticed a door marked Edward Cullen in golden script. Damn, this floor definitely beat the second with our tiny cubicles and small kitchens and hard, uncomfortable chairs.
I rapped on his door once, hearing a gruff "come in" before pushing it open. There he sat (on his plush chair), facing the opposite side mumbling into his cell phone. I waited for him to turn around, and while I did I took the opportunity to drool over his defined broad shoulders and his full head of bronze sex-hair. Quickly snapping myself out of it, I began getting impatient. I'd been here for what, 5 minutes now? And he was STILL on the phone ignoring my presence? Is this how all lawyers were? Exceedingly rude? I started tapping my foot for emphasis and succeeded in getting his attention since I heard him murmur his farewell on the phone before swiveling around.
"Can I help you" he questioned as though irritated by me.
My own annoyance grew in response. Bella, be calm. Snapping at him will get you fired which pretty much closes the door to your career. I took a deep breath and then noticed his deep eyes penetrating my own. "Yes, I actually have the Anderson file you requested" I responded, furiously blushing under his gaze. Jesus my hormones were all over the fucking place. How the hell did I go from shamelessly checking him out to complete anger and to shy giggling school girl? Ugh, my time of the month must be around the corner.
I watched as he pointed his finger to his desk while raising one eyebrow as to say "it goes here, you incompetent imbecile". Well how the hell was I supposed to know that? I stalked up to his desk and threw the file and watched it skid perfectly across the polished oak to right in front of his face. Yes. For ONCE my clumsiness vanished and things worked out perfectly. I was sure I had made a kick ass impression based off of my "I don't take shit" demeanor.
I spoke too soon. As I saucily (I hope) walked towards the door, my bloody heel got caught in the carpet and I face planted smack dab into the floor. Mortified, I watched out of the corner of my eye as the motion caused my shoe to fall off and the paper towel wrapped around my toe to be launched across the room.
Embarrassed beyond belief and surely scarlet red by now I scrambled to my feet and met Edward Cullen's amused stare.
Fuck. Clumsy Bella was back and she was here to stay. And effectively kill my future career.
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