Briarlight rasped her tongue over her chest fur, smoothing down the creamy colored fur that contrasted to her dark coat. Her ears twitched slightly in unease as she heard the bramble screen of the medicine den be pushed aside as Jayfeather, the blind medicine cat padded into the rocky den, his jaws stuffed with marigold, gray fur ruffled from something or other. Carefully hiding her thoughts from Jayfeather, who she always felt like he could read her mind, Briarlight mewed a cheerful greeting, hiding the indecision and confusion raging in her mind. "Hi, Jayfeather! Can I help?!"
"If you want." Jayfeather meowed curtly as his ears swiveled towards her direction, blind blue eyes gazing in front of him. "I need to fetch more catmint before leaf-bare starts and the frost kills it all, can you sort the marigold by freshness?"
"Of course!" Briarlight purred, putting her nearly endless washing on hold in favor of dragging herself over to the medicine cat and making herself useful.
Jayfeather put the marigold down and swiped his tongue over his jaws to get rid of the tangy taste. "Have you done your exercises?" He asked, listening to the sound of fur scraping the rocky floor, a reminder that like him, she was disabled and couldn't ever be a full warrior.
"Yup!" Briarlight mewed happily, coming to a halt in front of him and the marigold, cream and dark brown mottled pelt sleek and well groomed. "They're really easy!" She purred and leaned down to pick up the marigold.
Jayfeather lifted one paw and put it on one of her shoulders, he then felt the young cat's strong muscles move as she picked up the marigold, the entire movement effortless and smooth. "We'll find something harder then," he mewed gruffly, putting his paw back on the ground and turning his head in her direction, blind eyes gazing vacantly at the rocky medicine den wall. "It means you are getting stronger." His usually grumpy tone softened a whisker length, and the she-cat noticed it.
"That's great!" Briarlight purred around the marigold as she dragged herself over to the herb cleft with the intent of getting the rest of the marigold.
"I'm going back out, treat any injuries while I'm away," Jayfeather mewed curtly and the blind medicine cat left the she-cat to her thoughts and task.
Briarlight watched him leave, her cream tipped ears twitched as he did so, reminding herself that she was now alone in the den. Focusing on her task at the current moment, she started sorting all of the herbs while allowing her thoughts to wander back to the earlier topic, her possibility of kits. 'I don't know what to do, I really don't.'
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Briarlight's nose twitched as she picked up on the change in the air, the cool temperature that was now nipping at her nose. She settled deeper into her nest and lifted one front paw to cover her nose so that the sensitive skin was safe from the chill. At the movement, the kits in her belly squirmed, pushing hard against her flanks and a strong spasm of pain rippled through her flanks and disappeared once it went past the area where her spine was broken. She knew the kits would be born sometime tonight, she had been feeling the strange and unfamiliar pain since sundown. The she-cat's bright amber eyes slid open and she gazed out of the medicine den, a moment later she caught a glimpse of the high rising moon, which meant that it was almost moonhigh, time for her disappearance. Having the kits in camp was not an option, with Jayfeather being the father and her own disability, she didn't want anyone watching her when she might not live through the kitting itself.
Lifting her head from her paws she flicked her ears and looked over at Jayfeather, listening to his breathing and seeing if he was asleep, he was.
Briarlight then slithered out of her nest and nudged her nose under the front of her nest before she pulled an already prepared leaf wrap out from under the mossy nest. After getting a good hold on the herb wrap, she started dragging herself out of an alternate entrance to the medicine den, struggling to heave her broken body up through the rocks; before unsheathing her claws and clawing at the brambles covering it with one front paw while she wobbled a bit unsteadily, unused to only using one of her front legs to balance with. Once she made a hole that she could get through, she carefully dragged her body through it before slithering out the other side and landing on the soft forest floor, a rare place for her to be in. The kits squirmed harder and Briarlight twisted, pressing her muzzle against her flank before she licked the dirt and small rocks from her flanks. Once she was finished she continued on her way and ignored the pain as she looked for a place to have the kits, her mind focused on the goals she had in mind for a place, 'Sheltered, warm, safe, calm, and quiet.'
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Someone was prodding Jayfeather with a small paw. Jayfeather opened his eyes to a forested and grassy starlit clearing of Starclan where a silver tabby she-cat with dark gray marking sat waiting. She gestured with her tail to follow her and Jayfeather got to his paws before he complied as he followed her to a wide puddle, the water clear and clean.
"I have brought you here to see what's going on beneath your nose." The tabby meowed and beckoned him closer to the puddle before prodding the puddle with a paw, making the water ripple slightly. In the puddle he saw a dark brown furred she-cat with darker and cream mottled markings and stripes with dysfunctional back legs and amber eyes, dragging herself through the ThunderClan territory and away from camp, seeming to be searching for a safe place. "That is your den-mate Briarlight." the silver tabby meowed, looking over him through intelligent and gentle blue eyes, "if you don't help her, she will die like I did many moons ago." She meowed calmly, as she gazed into the puddle and watched the Briarlight disappear into a medium sized rabbit burrow.
Jayfeather was briefly blinded as he accidentally drifted into the she-cat's mind. His ears rang with a she-cat's pained cries and his nose was filled with the smell of blood. He saw the she-cat who was standing next to him in StarClan's hunting grounds, lying on the ground, blue eyes dull as her body stilled and the life drained from her eyes. Jayfeather blinked and he breathed a little heavily, "you're Silverstream, the cat who died giving birth to Graystripe's kits."
Silverstream nodded and looked sadly at the puddle, "Briarlight will suffer the same fate if you don't help her." she looked up at Jayfeather, her blue eyes disappointed, "after all, they are your kids."
Jayfeather's blue eyes widened before black slammed down on his vision and he jolted awake with a small gasp, his fur standing on end. Briarlight!
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Briarlight grunted, the she-cat's muscles strained and she dug her claws into the earth, fighting the pain wracking her body. Her back legs were extended, back claws involuntarily digging into the wall of the den, usually, she couldn't feel anything past the break in her spine, but she could at the moment, her entire body burned with pain that flooded her senses, How I am going to survive this?! She wondered as she struggled and her nose twitched as she picked up on the strong scent of blood that was starting to stain her hindquarters a red color.
"Briarlight?"
Briarlight heard a familiar meow over the blood rushing through her ears and she squinted, attempting to clear her hazy vision, only able to see the hazy form a gray tabby with blue eyes. She hissed and tensed her front legs, she released the ground and swiped at the tabby, her claws slicing a thin cut in his cheek.
"It's just me," Jayfeather mewed, his mew gruff and very worried, "you're kitting right?"
"Yes," Briarlight hissed through clenched teeth as she managed to blink the haze away and look clearly at the tom at the entrance of the decently sized den, "Jayfeather? what're you doing out here?"
"Helping you." Jayfeather replied and squeezed into the den with her, his nose twitched at the scent of blood but he temporarily ignored it and put one paw on her rippling flank, "did you bring any herbs with you?"
"Yes," Briarlight managed to mew before she grunted and squirmed slightly, digging her claws into the ground again.
Jayfeather sniffed her breath and could smell both Fennel and chervil, At least she knows what she's doing, now if only I did, I haven't done this with a paralyzed cat…
"Jayfeather!" Briarlight panted, "near your back left paw is a stick, can you give it to me please!"
Jayfeatherfelt around and found the stick she was looking for and quickly pushed it closer to her, one paw on her flank, "catch your breath," he warned, "you need to start pushing."
"Ugh!" Briarlight took the stick in her jaws and bit down, the wood splintering slightly between her jaws.
"Now!"
Briarlight grunted as she did as she asked, her body shaking as she did so.
It's not working, Jayfeather thought as nothing happened, She can't push past the break…
"Put your paws on her hips and put your weight there." A quiet voice mewed in his ear.
Jayfeather did as the strange cat asked and set his paws firmly on Briarlight's hips, her back legs were rigid, her muscles tensing from the kitting itself. "This is going to hurt," he grunted.
"Okay, just do it already!" Briarlight snarled around her stick.
Jayfeather put his weight on her hips, forcing her paralyzed muscles to work and push the kitten out.
Briarlight wailed and struggled against Jayfeather's hold for a few moments, the stick splintering between her teeth. then she groaned and started panting as the firstborn was born.
Jayfeather quickly put his front paws down on the ground and sniffed the kit lying limply on the dirt, his heart sinking to his paws as he didn't hear a heartbeat or breathing.
Briarlight groaned, the sound snapping Jayfeather from his slightly shocked state.
Jayfeather felt her belly and found another kitten lump, "one more," he mewed, his mew quiet and somber.
"I know that!" Briarlight snapped at him, her amber eyes flashing.
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"Briarlight push!" Jayfeather was getting worried, Briarlight was barely awake and still, the second kit hadn't emerged, it didn't look good for the paralyzed she-cat.
Briarlight groaned and her ears flattened as she mustered the tiny bit of energy she had left and did as he asked.
Jayfeather's nose twitched at the smell of the second kit finally arriving. He quickly split the kit's sac and vigorously licked it the wrong way to get it breathing.
As the kit squeaked in complaint, next to them, Briarlight went still, her head dropped to the ground and her amber eyes were mostly shut, her body laid still and limp.
Jayfeather spoke, "Briarlight?" he asked in worry, his mew worried as she didn't reply or attempt to twist and lick the kit. He quickly went over to her head and listened for her breathing and a heartbeat, there was one, very faint and practically nothing, but she was breathing!
Lying next to her he slowed his breathing to match hers and opened his eyes to see Silverstream padding away with Briarlight, an amused purr rumbling through her body.
"You can't take her!" Jayfeather yowled and raced after them, his heart pounding in his chest, "it's not her time!"
Briarlight's amber eyes widened and her tail fluffed out slightly as she paused and stood there, "wait, am I dead?!"
Silverstream looked slightly sad, "I'm sorry Jayfeather." she looked at Briarlight, "almost, little one."
"What!
"No! Please don't take her," Jayfeather almost pleaded, his ears flattening against his head at the thought of another cat leaving him as he skidded to a halt in front of them, "don't take her too!"
"I can't go!" Briarlight insisted with wide eyes, "what about my parents?!"
Jayfeather seized a small shred of hope, "What about Graystripe? How will he feel if you take Briarlight from him and leave him with a kit to look after?"
Silverstream hesitated, her blue eyes a little reluctant.
"The second kit's alive?" Briarlight gasped and stared at Jayfeather. When he nodded she pleaded with Silverstream. "Please let me stay! Don't make me leave!"
Silverstream sighed and nodded to Briarlight, "Go, before I change my mind."
"Thank you!" Briarlight mewed and charged towards the forest, Jayfeather on her tail.
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Jayfeather lifted his head and opened his eyes to darkness, he then felt Briarlight's ear tips tickle his muzzle as she weakly lifted her head and groaned, her body still rather limp and exhausted. No doubt she felt horrible. Jayfeather used a paw to push her back down, "rest," he mewed, "you had a close call."
"Where's our kit?"Briarlight asked tiredly when she heard her kit wail in hunger and she weakly tried to sit up to look behind her, her body lethargic and tired.
Jayfeather located the kit after a snort sniff and picked it up by the scruff to put her down at her mother's cream colored belly fur close to Briarlight's chest so she could lick the kit. "You have a healthy daughter," he mewed, his mew as gruff as usual. He then felt Briarlight's nose briefly touch his cheek as she purred.
"We have a healthy daughter." Briarlight corrected him before starting to lick the stickiness from her daughter's fur as the small kit started to suckle and purr loudly.
"I'm a medicine cat remember?" Jayfeather mumbled and listened to the she-cat groom their kit with rhythmic strokes of her tongue.
"I'm not your mate beside on occasion," Briarlight pointed out between licks of her kit's fur, "so she's your daughter, on occasion anyway."
Jayfeather sighed, "alright," he sighed and settled down next to Briarlight, rasping his tongue over her messy, dirty, and blood stained fur, "she's ours."
Briarlight purred warmly, "she's light brown with white cloud like patterns and dark gray paws," she described their kit as her eyes closed as Jayfeather's rhythmic grooming of her fur almost lulled her to sleep.
"Cloudkit?" Jayfeather suggested and just got a sleepy purr as a response. He leaned over Briarlight and sniffed Cloudkit before rasping his tongue over her soft fur between her ears. I promise you won't end up like I did, lied till I found out the hard way, your mother won't let it happen to you. He continued rasping his tongue over Briarlight's fur, "thank you." he murmured, "thank you for fighting to come back."
Briarlight didn't reply, haven already fallen asleep.
Jayfeather's vision blurred from black to a dim light and he saw a white and black she-cat looking at the small kit tucked into Briarlight's fur, her eyes warm but a little disappointed. "Halfmoon…" Jayfeather mewed, surprised at the sight of the she-cat.
"She's beautiful," Halfmoon purred to Jayfeather, hiding how disappointed she was that he didn't wait for her, not that he ever promised, but still.
"Thank you," Jayfeather replied, "I'm glad she survived, her brother didn't."
Halfmoon nodded, "so you didn't wait for me." she mewed sadly.
"No," Jayfeather sighed, "I didn't, I'm sorry."
Halfmoon's ears twitched, "it's okay, I know you're happy with Prickly Briar."
Jayfeather tucked his paws under his chest, "thank you for understanding."
Halfmoon's blue eyes glittered sadly, "I just want you to be happy Jay's Wing."
"And I am," Jayfeather mewed and licked Briarlight's shoulder again.
"Goodbye Jay's Wing," Half moon murmured sadly.
"Goodbye Halfmoon," Jayfeather mewed and a moment later his vision went black again. I'm sorry Halfmoon, but I can't live in the past.