Edward murmured something purposefully and the exclamation caught me off guard as he glanced in my direction
"What?" I was too distracted to pay attention. Outside my window the Trees flew by me in a green blur. It was Twilight now, we had stayed until the lights darting off of Edward's skin had faded and dulled. Though it left him no less beautiful. His words had pulled me from the depth of my thoughts. From the thoughts of Charlie and Renee and their reactions, and suddenly against Charlie's rage Edward seemed to be something less then the hard stone I knew he was made of. Charlie was going to kill him, and then he was going to come for me. I meant to glance sneakily over in his direction without him noticing, but he was staring at me intently.
"Edward! Jesus Christ you drive to crazy already you don't need more distractions."
He got the not so subtle message but there remained a quiet worry on his face, a deep set concentration on the road. "You're bleeding." And it was then that I realized he was repeating it.
"Ah crap! I'm sorry." I pulled down the mirror and took a glance in it, a thin line of scarlet wound its way through my eyebrow. I wouldn't have even noticed it if the blood hadn't started to accumulate.
The familiar Knotting in my stomach began and I could feel my heartbeat quicken. I had learned not to spaz over something this small but it still got my blood pumping. "It must be a snag from a branch while we were running back." I had watched his head swivel back in my direction, though I didn't know whether it was from my quickening pulse or my suggestion.
"All I need is for you to be injured while I tell Charlie I'm stealing you from him."
For the first time sense we'd left the clearing, he wasn't smiling. I didn't like him being nervous already. Edward was my calm façade, if his confidence in safety from Charlie's rage fell then so did mine. I tried to rebuild it.
"But I want to be stolen." Even I was surprised by how perfectly innocent I sounded while I said it. But my job was done. Edward smiled.
"Then I guess its not really considered stealing is it?" He side glanced at me and I glanced through the windshield. The dirt road began to turn into gravel…we were almost in Forks. My stomach flipped. A cold hand grasped mine gently and I turned to look at him, his eyes locking with mine. The effect was instantaneous. The calm glee intertwined in his dark orbs was enough to hitch my breath. "Everything is going to be fine."
I nodded shortly, that being the only movement I could manage. It was at that point that I realized, that Anne of Green Gables was becoming more of a fantasy then a silly representation. I was starting to actually accept this matrimony deal, and I wasn't sure what that made me. I glanced at him again and something clicked in my mind.
"You should probably take another camping trip soon. All the danger is gone and you look hungry."
He shrugged as if it was a mere technicality. "I will soon enough" He was not going to be distracted from this internal glee of his.
By the time we pulled into the drive way my nerves were spiking again. I felt like I was having some kind of sporadic seizure. I slammed the door just a little to hard and then flinched at the sound. The noise Edward's door made was drowned out by my shriek as he raced up beside me. "Jeez!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but please relax. Charlie's in a good mood, and he already knows we're here." He looked down at me worriedly and then wrapped his arms around me, one hand stroking my head. I breathed heavily into his chest; this was not going to be easy. "Do you want me to tell him or do you want to?" I think my silence was enough of an answer for him. Charlie was going to have a heart attack, and poor Renee' who had always been so carefree but such an intuitive person would have seen this whole thing coming a mile away 'You two are more serious then I'd been thinking' and she had said that before I had even decided to get married! A small groan escaped my lips and Edward chuckled. His finger went to lift my chin to make him look at his smiling face and he kissed my forehead. "Oh, my Bella. Calm down now. This isn't even the hardest part."
And unfortunately I knew he was probably right.
After another minute I had composed myself to look normal and happy and Edward stood right beside me, his hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly. One glance at his face and I could see the overwhelming glee that spread across his features. My nerves softened a little more. If this is what was going to make him this happy then I could do it. One more argument with Charlie couldn't hurt. 'Please don't be to hurt.'
Charlie's voice reached my ears as soon as I walked through the door.
"That you Bells?"
I could hear his voice coming from the living room, and the sound of a sports commentator talking in a gruff voice about some retired coach.
"Yeah its me and Edward."
Something in my voice must have alerted him because he came to meet us in the kitchen.
"Something happen?"
I composed myself over again. Breathe Bella.
"No, we just went to go visit with Edwards family for a little while."
"Oh. Anything more on Jake?" I felt the blow like a punch to the gut. Edward saved me with an answer. "Nothing worth updating. Carlisle is going to pay a visit to him today but he's still healing well."
"Huh." was all Charlie had to say. I felt bitter towards him for still showing so much interest in Jacob while Edward was here. I almost wanted him to know that I had made my final choice. If he continued making me this angry it might just make things so much easier. But somehow I guessed my conscience wouldn't let me get away with that logic.
"What do you want for dinner dad?"
He shrugged and leaned up against the doorframe as Edward made to sit at the table. He pretended to be looking over the newspaper while I went to the cabinets and looked around for what we had. Concentrating on this made it easier to hide my nerves.
"I'm not hungry for anything in particular yet. Just make something a little later. You two planning on hanging out here for the rest of the night?" there was an edge in his voice that told us how much he hoped not. I was about to respond in the negative. Maybe we could just come back and tell him later. Or I could tell him when Edward wasn't within choking reach. More then Charlie hurting Edward, I was worried about him attempting to hurt Edward and hurting himself. It was already enough to confess the engagement, I didn't want another confession coupled with it.
"Actually there was something Bella and I wanted to discuss with you." The loud bang made from me dropping the can of green beans made them both look up. "whoops." I mumbled quietly, as I put the can back up. I realized my hands were shaking, and suddenly the ring on my finger seemed to be singing its existence. I wished Edward hadn't been carrying it. It would be so much easier to confess this with Charlie thinking this was more of a suggestion then a definite yes. I know where I got my stubborn nature from.
"Bells?" I could hear the question in his voice and a hint of exasperation. It made me feel like I was on one of those cheesy 50's TV Shows. "Bella What did you do this time?" Charlie may as well be wagging an accusing finger at me. I moved to sit by Edward, feeling like I was protected from Charlie's inevitable rage while I was by his side. Charlie took a seat opposite us, and I wondered how Edward could look so cool and confident, talk so smoothly, and at the same time know that my heart was close to jumping out of my chest and hopping across the table.
I heard Edward take a deep breath beside me, preparing for the plunge into his explanation.
"You know how much I care for Bella, how I would never do anything to harm her."
I saw the confusion flash across Charlie's face, and he glanced at the table top. I was suddenly glad my hands were being wound in my lap, I had a feeling Charlie would understand where this was leading sooner then it would take Edward to finish.
"After I left her for those few months I realized I had made a terrible mistake. It was a mistake that very nearly killed us both."
I recognized the words Edward had told Jacob in the tent four days ago.
It felt like an eternity longer then that.
Charlie grunted. I wondered why Edward would remind Charlie of more reasons to hate him but I saw the look on Charlie's face and realized he must have already been thinking it before Edward brought it up. I wondered if Charlie had ever really forgotten it, and again I was glad that I had not been shown a mirror that long while Edward was gone, I was probably less human then I thought back then. Edward went on.
"I've had three years opportunity to discover how I feel about Bella and I know now just like a knew then, that I really am in love with her."
Realization clicked in Charlie's head, and he jerked his gaze at me. I quickly dropped my eyes and felt such guilt that it was in shame, as if I was a child being scolded again. I looked up to meet his gaze, reluctantly, but I did it. He continued to watch me while Edward finished, plunging the knife in.
"I've asked Bella to marry me, and she has accepted."
Clean swipe, deep and red and painful. There was a deadly silence in the kitchen, I almost wish Charlie would stop changing colors and swelling like a flesh balloon and just yell, scream, throw things if he needed. Anything.
"I thought you of all people were smarter then this Bells!"
I looked at him defiantly, but he had found his mark. I realized that it didn't cut as deep as I had thought. A week ago I probably would have agreed with him and apologized right then and there, but I had found my resolve, I had reached my conclusion. I had promised Jacob nothing would happen, I was marrying Edward, and I didn't care what anyone else thought of me. Because Loving Edward, no, needing Edward, was the surest thing I had felt sense I met him. The fight in me broke free and I was thankful.
"Be more specific dad you might just be hurting my feelings."
"Bella your 18! You don't know anything about being married!"
"I would think you would be thankful for that. Would you rather I had experience?"
"This isn't a game Bella!"
"Then why are you being so ridiculous?"
"I! I-I'm being-"
Be spluttered like my truck in the winter, and I looked to Edward for back up.
"Charlie, this doesn't mean anything has to change. Bella will still be attending college, I have savings that can support Bella and I comfortably for years-"
"And what happens when there's an argument? This won't just be running off and cooling down until your ready to forgive each other. This is compromise, sacrifice, something kids your age aren't able to handle yet!"
I rolled my eyes
"Dad, please…you know you're only acting this way because it's Edward."
"So what if I am!"
I hadn't expected a blatant response like this and it made the rage rise in my head. As if he expected that to be just, as if it was ok that he was so prejudice. The anger blocked the pain, the rage made it loud.
"So If Jacob had put a ring on my finger you'd be gushing wouldn't you?!"
I flashed the rock on my hand and Charlie visibly blanched, taken aback. I didn't have time for guilt; I was still in attack mode. He recovered quickly.
"At least I would know that you had explored your options, that you weren't rushing into the first serious relationship you found. You never gave Jake a chance Bells!"
He was trying to be reasonable, sweet, to act like he knew what he was talking about. I could feel the frustration in the back of my head, my heart thumping like a marathon runner's steps. Edward stood, and I realized Charlie and I were both standing, glaring at each other from across the table. Pain etched in Charlie's lines. Edward's cool hand rested on my forearm and I relaxed slightly.
"If I may say so, I told Bella to give Jacob a chance if she wanted to."
My head darted in his direction so fast I must have given myself whiplash. Charlie got quiet and then glanced at me; my eyes bore into Edward, wondering what he was playing at. Was this some kind of trick? Some kind of play off Charlie's emotions? Maybe he had forgotten that I didn't get the extra little memos he was picking up. Charlie snorted his doubt and I looked at him again.
"Why is it so hard for you to accept that I DON'T LOVE JACOB?!"
it was a lie, but its not like Charlie would except the whole truth. The real truth.
"I mean did he gain some secret dad checkpoint I'm not aware of? Buying me a motorcycle, running around in the woods with dangerous animals, you admitted yourself he can't keep me safe like Edward can." I saw Edward's brief surprise glance across his eyes before his face was determined and guarded again. " So why can't you just give it up?"
I stopped my rant, watching Charlie's face for a long while. I had never seen him look so old in his life. My armor cracked and I moved away from my attack posture, dropping my gaze. Charlie didn't move. Edward stared at me, watching the emotions play across my face. He was so tense.
"We'll finish this discussion tomorrow. And I mean we will finish it."
I let him win this one, I knew he had given up for now and was buying himself time to rebuild his arguments, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to care. There was a look on Charlie's face I had only ever seen two times before, and it was a look I had never wanted to see. Not once. I nodded and watched as Charlie gave one last look of hatred towards Edward before moving back to the living room. I walked Edward to the door, not saying a word. I met his gaze once, and watched his guarded expression crack and fall, and before I knew what was happening I was in his arms and he was cradling me, and in another moment he was gone. I felt the loss like a smack, even though I knew he would be waiting for me upstairs.
I felt like I wanted to run but I drug my feet up the stairs and to the bathroom. I changed into my favorite sweats and a t-shirt and refused to look at my expression, I didn't want to see the guilt there. When I got to my room Edward was waiting for me.
All of the frustration and Anger exploded at once and my hands went right to cover my face. Edward had his arms around me in a second and I was once again crying into his cold, hard, yet somehow gentle form. I felt even guiltier. All I seemed to be doing lately was crying in front of him. I was hurting him too.
"ugh!"
The frustration escaped and I tried to pull away from Edward. His hold was firm but he got the idea and let go. I walked over to the bed and plopped down, hating myself more then I ever had. Edward stayed where he was, watching me cautiously, wondering why I had pulled away, why I was angry with him. But I wasn't and I was doing it again.
"You know maybe it would be safer for you away from me."
His eyebrows quirked in confusion.
"What do you mean? Charlie isn't that violent."
I looked up at him and shook my head.
"I'm talking about me! If I'm not crying on your shoulder I'm driving you crazy by being so unlucky every God-forsaken minute of the day. I'm a nuisance!"
He chuckled and walked over to me now that he was sure I wasn't particularly angry with him. His laughter made me catch his eye. He was happy again. Now that I realized there would be no more yelling tonight, I was starting to relax too, but something about Charlie's expression still ached in my chest, I kept trying to remember the circumstances around why he had ever made that face before. And then it hit me. He saw.
"What? Bella?"
How could I have not noticed it sooner? Why didn't I stop when I started to see it? Why did I have to be such a predictable hotheaded teenager all the time?
"Bella what's wrong?"
It had been there sense I left after graduation, brought about the awkward conversation at the dinner table. "I have this...hunch. I feel like I'm going to loose you soon." I was so worried about everything else, about Victoria, the strange visitors, the Volturi, the wedding…. I didn't see Charlie falling apart right in front of me.
Suddenly I felt insensitive. Charlie had never been the parent I had to take care of, that had always been Renee' but that didn't make me in any less of a hurry to protect him any chance I could get. Edward hadn't plunged in the knife, I had.
"Bella your driving me crazy with that look on your face."
I finally pulled myself from my thoughts and looked up at him. He looked like he was restraining himself from grabbing me, or maybe getting ready to catch me in case I fell. I calmed down. I still felt like I was missing something though, a piece of the puzzle.
"It's Charlie. Ever sense graduation he's been trying not to cling, I can tell. He was just waiting for something like this to happen. Like High School was my last tether to be here with him."
And I realized that before my agreement with Edward, it had been.
Edward sighed and held me again. The tone in his voice radiated calm and I soaked it up like a sponge.
"He won't hurt forever Bella."
But forever was not a word I thought of as exaggeration anymore. Forever was how long I would be gone, and I would never be able to come back and see him again without him noticing the change. What if I was hurting him forever? I stayed silent, continuing to rock in Edward's arms. Wishing that I didn't have the conscience to think about this. But I did, and now I didn't know what to do.
He lay down on the bed and pulled me down next to him. His cold body against my flushed face felt wonderful. I rested my head on his chest and curled myself around his body. I could feel the anger turning to exhaustion. Edwards cool fingers brushed my cheek in a slow repeating line while his other hand stroked my hair.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
He sounded peaceful
"Why did you bring up you telling me to go to Jacob?"
He tensed slightly, probably expecting me to break down again. My stomach clenched, but I was out of tears for one night.
"Charlie thought that I had stopped you from going anywhere. Like I was a restriction. He was very near to accusing me of being controlling to the point of abuse."
I bristled. Edward held me tighter.
"Can I ask a question?"
"Fire away."
"When did Charlie say I was more responsible in taking care of you?"
I didn't have to try hard to remember.
"Right after he found out Jacob had gotten injured in the motorcycle accident."
He was satisfied. I looked up at his face just to be sure, trying to read some kind of emotion in his eyes. He was watching the ceiling thoughtfully. I knew that look.
"I don't want to know what he's thinking. I'll find out tomorrow."
Edward looked down on me and nodded. I saw his intention in his eyes a moment before he did it. He captured my lips in his, knocking all agitation from my mind. I felt the familiar cold fire burn through my body. Before I could wrap my hands in his hair he pulled away, grinning a fox's grin.
"Will you ever control those hormones?"
I shrugged.
"What can I say, It's been a stressful day."
He smiled and held me closer to him. I rested perfectly in the crook of his neck, quite comfortable there. He wrapped me with a blanket like a little girl. "Then sleep my Bella."