Author's Notes

Just as a warning, this has suggestive sexual abuse and violence. It's rated M.

Prologue

I sat, hands folded in my lap with my eyes turned down to the floor. I heard my mum and dad up the stairs, a loud banging off in the distance. The living room had no TV so I couldn't watch anything and no stereo to listen to music. I didn't have anyone here with me, Cole was away in Washington with his boyfriend and Emmie had left after an argument two years ago. I was left alone.

The front door knocked and I jumped down from the couch, tripping over the coffee table that sat in front of the couch. I ran into the hall and opened the door. I stood shock as I saw my big sister. "Hey Lucy." Emmie smiled sadly and I threw myself into her arms.

"You're here!" I sobbed, "You're here."

"I know." She lifted me into her arms and carried me inside. The banging upstairs got worse and so did the yelling, "For fuck-sake."

"What?" I asked, "What's happening?"

"Nothing to worry about. Come on, let's go outside." Emmie carried me out into the back garden and took me to mum's swing. We didn't have a large garden but it wasn't small either. We had a square of grass that the swing sat on and a rectangle of brick that lead through to the driveway.

"Where've you been?" I asked, trying not to get angry at her. I didn't want to fall out with her because I only got her back.

"Trying to get us away from them. I-ah..." She looked away but held me close, "Has dad's friends came by?"

"Yeah," I felt my tummy go sick. I know who she was talking about."Has he hurt you again?" She asked and I nodded."I'm never leaving again. I'm staying with you until the end." she kissed my forehead, "I have something for you."

She dug around in her pocket then held out a ring. She smiled, "Happy birthday."

I giggled as something ran down my face, "I forgot."

Emmie sighed as she put the ring on my finger, "Everyone needs something on their birthday."

I turned around on her lap and wrapped my arms around her neck, crying, "Thank you, thank you."

Emmie smiled and held me close as the back door opened, "What are you doing here?" Mum hissed at Emmie, "Luce, darling, get inside."I looked down at mum's clenched hand and saw she held a knife. A horrible feeling filled me and something told me not to move.

"Lucinda! Now!" Dad snapped, just behind her.

"It's okay, go inside." Emmie smiled trying to get me to move and it worked. I slid off her lap and walked back inside, Dad pushed me back into the living room and locked the door behind me.

Then...

"WHY! THE! FUCK! ARE! YOU! HERE! YOU DIRTY COW!" With each word Emmie cried. I flinched because I knew Emmie was getting whipped by dad's belt. I could hear the slapping of the strap against her skin. It happened to me before, I knew what it sounded like.

"Trying to convert my baby!" Mum screamed and I wrapped my arms around my head trying not to listen. I was sobbing into my knees, I felt so scared that I was hiccuping too.

"I'm trying to save her!" Emmie roared, I could hear the tears in her voice. I couldn't take it anymore, I ran into the hall and into the dining room that joined with the kitchen. I burst through the door and found Emmie on her knees, her back bare and bleeding with mum standing behind her with the knife in her hand, the tip dripping with blood.

"LUCINDA!" Dad roared but I ran over to Emmie and wrapped my arms around her neck. My teary face buried in her neck as Emmie held me tightly.

"Lucinda, baby, go back into the living room." Mum said breathing heavily.

"No." I muttered, "Don't hurt Emmie."

"She is an abomination! Now she's tainted you." Dad grabbed Emmie from me and pushed her into the living room that he unlocked. He pushed her through the room and up the stairs.

"You did this to her Lucinda. I hope you realise that." Then without warning, Emmie started screaming and the walls started banging again. I cried so hard that night. When it was bed time, I walked past Emmie's room and I couldn't hear anything, luckily dad was away to work and mum was out with her friends so I opened the door a crack.

The room was in complete darkness but I could make out that the sheets were flattened. I opened the door wider and saw that Emmie wasn't in her bed. I walked into the room and found my big sister sitting against the wall, facing me with her eyes glaring into the floor boards beneath me. I swallowed at the look in her eyes, she looked like she was out to murder someone.

"Emmie?" I said but she didn't look at me. I started crying, this was my fault, I broke my sister.

"You shouldn't be in here." She said, sounding like she was far away.

"I'm sorry, Emmie." I looked around the room wishing I didn't. The light from the hall showed that the sheets were stained with white patches and red patches. They were mixed too, the stains. The wall behind the head board was marked badly, I shook my head and ran over to Emmie.

I kneeled down beside her as she held her leg to her chest. She was blinking and staring down at the floor boards, "Lucy, I need you to be a brave girl for me. I need you to go into dad's office down the hall and go into his desk drawer. Get me his gun."

"Why?" I asked, "Are you going to hurt yourself? Dad?"

"This is why I left last time, Lucy, next year he will start on you and I can't allow that. I won't, Lucy please, this has to end!" Emmie looked at me

"If I get it, we do it together." I said feeling years older than my ten year old self.

"I can't let you do that." Emmie shook her head

"I don't care." I shrugged and she smiled

"Okay." I watched as she staggered to her feet. She stumbled a little, her legs wobbling as she tripped over to the door. I got up and held her hand, the both of us holding onto each other as we made our way to our dad's office. My heart was beating faster than I wanted it too. I pushed the door open and let the hall light fill the darkened room, Emmie left me at the door and started raiding his desk.

She pulled the gun out as the front door was thrown open. I looked at Emmie, scared as she closed the drawer and left the office. Downstairs I could hear dad and his friends in the living room. I felt my fear deepen and I was about to be sick because of it. Emmie took my hand and dragged me down the stairs to my bedroom. I didn't realise what she was doing until she closed the door behind me then lock it.

I could only listen, I listened as Emmie walked down the stairs, each step at a time. I listened as she threw the living room door open then the gun click then a blast. I jumped as Emmie screamed and footsteps ran up the stairs. My heart was leaping out my chest as the door unlocked and dad stood, covered in blood. He snarled at me then walked over to me. I almost peed myself I was so scared.

Dad grabbed my face then cut right down my face. I screamed as the blood ran down my face, I fell to my knees as a gun shot rang out in the room. I looked up at Emmie who stood just inside the door way, the left side of her face was almost blown apart. Her entire face was covered in blood along with her t-shirt and jeans.

"Lucy!" Emmie ran over to me then lifted me into her arms, "I'm sorry."

I shook my head but I couldn't say anything. She saved me but what happened later was by far the best and worst moment of my life. We walked down the stairs and I saw the bodies of dad's friends, broken and bloody on the floor. Emmie had dropped the gun somewhere upstairs as she carried me outside. I wasn't sure what happened next because I passed out in Emmie's arms.