Waiting
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is not owned by me, but by this wonderful, wonderful person by the name of Hiro Mashima.
A/N: This's probably not my best, but I'm OK with it, so . . . . Somewhat based off of Chapter 282.
After the second knock, she'd known that it was him, blearily crawling out of bed with a graceful silence, and stepping softly across the room that she was sharing with the rest of Fairy Tail Team B to the sliding glass door that led to the balcony.
Tired and confused, she drew the burgundy curtain aside, revealing that it was, in fact, him standing by the window on the other side looking quite exhausted.
She arched a curious eyebrow, laying a hand across the cool glass and squinting through the moonlight that shined off of it. "Gray-sama?"
She briefly wondered if he could even hear her from the other side, but those thoughts were quickly overwritten with the idea of why he was there in the middle of the night when the curfew to be out was twelve o' clock.
His grin was rather weary as he told her to "Come out here, will you?"
Her heart stuttered in excitement while she hastily fumbled with the lock, turning it and then removing the chain before she slid the door to the left, refreshing, late night air instantly washing over her body and filling her nose.
She stepped out onto the balcony and towards him, the ground chilly underneath her bare feet as she studied his face intently, even whilst her heart began to beat out of control.
He motioned for her to follow him as he took a spot at the white railings, peering down at the city of Crocus. And even though she'd been busy being enthralled with the way the moonlight glinted off of his dark hair and pale skin, she still noticed it and tentatively came to stand beside him, gazing down at the numerous, multi-colored glows from the streetlamps and different buildings of the capital of Fiore. It was a beautiful sight, really, and she would've found it romantic if she hadn't been so puzzled as to why he had called her out there with him, or why he was even there at Team B's inn.
To talk with her? The thought caused her lungs to stammer and body to go weak with delight and she practically leaned against rail, clutching it dearly to keep from collapsing.
She glanced sideways at him, concentrating on his face and trying to pay no attention to how lovely he looked when the wind ruffled his hair. It gave him that breathtaking windblown appearance that made her need to avert her eyes, what with the way her chest was clenching and how hot he made her body feel.
His eyes were still lowered in seeming focus, partially covered by his eyes as he looked down, his mouth drawn into a straight line. He was troubled, she realized, recognizing the expression. And he appeared to be searching for somebody.
"Gray-sama," she ignored the way her face heated when the breeze caused her somewhat short nightgown to flutter, "is something the matter?" She knew that there was, but she needed his answer just to confirm.
"Um." He slowly turned to her, his dark-eyed gaze locking onto hers and causing her knees to grow weak. "I . . . was talking with Erza earlier."
She bit her lip and brushed away her sapphire locks that a small gust was blowing into her eyes. "E-Erza-san?" Frowning, she wondered if that was where he'd run off to after he'd grown agitated with her and Lyon— to Erza.
She stared at the railing.
Of course it had hurt her when he'd run away from the both of them in annoyance. And of course, she hadn't been particularly pleased when Lyon had taken Gray-sama's irritated departure as a victory and dragged her off to some local restaurant.
"Yeah." He shifted his weight to another foot and stretched his arms over the rail. "And she told me that . . . resolution wasn't the way to do it."
"Hm?" She knitted her eyebrows together, mystified as to what he was saying. "Juvia does not understand what Gray-sama means."
He sighed, his cheeks reddening slightly and adding to her confusion. "I was resolute, Juvia, stubborn, rigid, determined not to grasp that . . . ."
She had no idea what he was talking about, but he was serious about it so she listened keenly. She still found it strange that they were out together while everyone else was asleep, and even stranger that he was insulting himself that way.
Gray was too arrogant to do something like that, she knew, and . . . she was ashamed with herself for thinking that, if she wasn't so infatuated with him, if he couldn't sway her with his voice, scent, and touch, then that would be most of what she thought of him herself.
"Determined not to grasp what?" She asked quietly. It was a prompt to get him talking again; she loved being out there with him so much and now he seemed like he wanted her to forget all that he'd said already.
But she couldn't. No. She needed to know why he'd come to her, why he'd chosen to get her to creep out of bed with mussed hair and a short nightgown when the Games were still going on the next day. She needed to know what he was there for, what he wanted so badly with her in the middle of the night.
Because maybe . . . there wouldn't be another time like this, where he would come to her, where they could be alone without any interferences (and Lyon) and she could just speak to him.
He frowned and turned his gaze away from her, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.
Frustrated, she moved closer to him, forcing herself to ignore that their shoulders were now touching and that he smelled like crisp, cold air on a snowy day and soap, despite that she was getting lightheaded. "Gray-sama, please. Juvia knows that you came here for a specific reason and she wants you to tell her why." Her breath was shuddery when she inhaled. "Because . . . you already thrilled her greatly by coming to talk to her, already caused her heart to go on a rampage inside her chest, and raised her hopes when you nearly revealed something, only to withdraw from telling her . . . ."
He stiffened, and she heard his small gasp. And then he probably heard her own small gasp when he grabbed her wrist the next moment.
"G-Gray-sama . . . ."
He was looking at her again, his face solemn. "Juvia . . . I was determined not to grasp that . . . you have feelings for me . . . and that I have them back for you . . . ."
Her lungs completely constricted then as she fought for breath, clutching onto the railing to keep from fainting. A sudden tremor of pleasure darted along her spine as she stared at him, wordless. She merely gaped at him, the words that she'd always dreamed of him uttering to her swirling around and replaying in her ears. He'd really said it.
"But of course, I think you already knew that, Juvia." He smiled gently at her and she just blinked. "You already knew how I felt, didn't you? Even though I didn't."
She was once again at a loss, unsure of what he was talking about. She certainly hadn't known how he'd felt at all, other than he chose to ignore her at times and probably found her fanatical and annoying. And the idea that he might've thought her those things hurt. They stung, wrenched excruciatingly in her gut, even drew tears at times. But they'd never made her love him any less, never made her devotion waver.
She didn't reply and he continued somewhat insistently: "You had to have known. You always hoped for me, always waited out, even though I wasn't sure of my feelings myself. Even as I tried to drown them, shove them away, you never stopped . . . liking me. Or . . . is love the stronger word?"
His eyes flickered momentarily over to hers and she was too astonished to respond.
"So I . . . assumed that you've known that I . . . like you all along and that's why you've never given up on me yet." His head was tilted back, gazing at the moon. "Because . . . wouldn't it've been hard . . . painful to wait on someone that might never love you back?"
She chewed her bottom lip, her chest aching with the careless obliviousness of his words as she rested her chin on the cool metal of the railing. "It— It is. A-Actually, Gray-sama, Juvia did not think that you liked her like that at all." In truth, she'd figured the exact opposite of what he did, that he'd thought of her as nothing more than nakama. But now that he'd confessed, it didn't matter now, did it?
No.
Because now, every single glance he gave her would heat her face and body . . . every time their bodies made contact, her skin would melt in agonizing ecstasy.
Because knowing that he liked her made things that much sweeter.
She noticed his eyebrows furrow in puzzlement as he grunted a rather defeated "Oh."
"Nevertheless, Gray-sama, it really is a relief that all of Juvia's waiting wasn't in vain," she told him softly, gazing at his moonlit face. "It's good to finally know that with all of her daydreaming and sleepless nights, there would finally be a day that Gray-sama would return Juvia's feelings."
"Why do you say that?" His voice was somewhat surprised as he peered up from staring at the brightly lit city just about ten feet below to meet her eyes.
She didn't answer right away, her eyes still on his face, and then slowly traveling down his perfect body (which was now shirtless) while she asked herself how he could even consider questioning her on something like that.
His body, his voice, his touch . . . they drove her crazy, some of the most heavenly parts that she found valuable about him. She would watch him, starry-eyed and transfixed, from her bench at the guild from sunup until sundown, enjoying only her make-believe delusions that he could be hers . . . that his body could be hers to feel, that his hair could be hers to touch, that his clothes could be hers to take off, instead of him and his odd (loveable) habit.
But now that imagination didn't have to be merely a fantasy anymore. It could be real, it could happen and that . . . that was the most relieving thing that she could ever experience.
"Because it is the most wonderful declaration that I have ever heard, Gray-sama," she breathed, her heart lifting with every word. "Because I don't have to live in fear that I'll be stuck loving you forever without you ever returning the favor. B-Because . . . if you be Juvia's, Juvia will be yours." If she could just get a chance to be with him, even if they were only together for a day, it would be worth all of her waiting.
She loved him that much.
"J-Juvia . . . ." His eyes were sad somehow and a bit sheepish and she hadn't a clue why. But he moved closer to her, lacing his fingers with hers and causing her heart to falter as she fought to breathe properly.
He was holding her hand.
Her face was undoubtedly on fire and he seemed to notice that, as he chuckled, though his expression was rather stoic, "You really like me, Juvia." Her fingertips were lifted seemingly unconsciously to his lips, a gesture that pulled an involuntary whine from her throat as she nodded as a confirmation to his statement. "And I . . . I also like you more than I should, but I c-can't . . ."
His eyes were closed, his hair falling forward from his forehead while he bowed his head, sighing.
She was becoming continually confounded with his reactions to things, so she pressed, "You can't what, Gray-sama?"
He appeared repentant, dropping her hand to run his own through his hair. "I wasn't . . . planning to even tell you all of this tonight . . . I was going to wait for when my love got stronger for you or something so that you wouldn't get your hopes up now, b-but Erza . . . she told me to tell you now."
She blinked, not quite comprehending what he was saying. "Erza-san?" Said S-Class Mage seemed to have a lot to do with what was going on.
"Yeah, Erza. She said that you would keep hurting, keep waiting out for me, for a love that wasn't there. And that you'd feel better if I told you how I felt, so you could at least know that it wasn't one-sided anymore." He exhaled deeply. "So I told you. But I'm not ready to . . . start anything with you yet, Juvia. Not anything more than nakama."
She looked at him blankly, though on the inside, she could feel the pain that tore at her heart. But she could ignore it. She'd already ignored all of the other unaware pain he'd caused her to feel.
And the fact remained that he hadn't rejected her. Which was a hope that dominated the pain.
"Not anything m-more than nakama?" She repeated and of course, her voice would waver, no matter how firm she willed it to be.
"I'm sorry, Juvia . . . just not yet okay?" Although his smile was timid and apologetic, it still managed to up her heart rate and warm her cheeks. "Wouldn't you rather if it was fair?" He grabbed her hand again as the nighttime breeze tousled both of their hair. "If my . . . crush on you was as large as your . . . love for me?"
She briefly wondered if anyone could love somebody as much as she could, but remembered that he was Gray-sama and his abilities were unfathomable.
"But then Juvia will have to wait some more," she mumbled dolefully, fiddling with the hem of her nightgown. Waiting was all she'd been doing for Gray-sama, all she'd ever done for Gray-sama. She couldn't have a problem waiting a little longer, but it was the fact that she was so close to having him, only to have him refuse her for now, that frustrated her the slightest bit.
"I'm sorry." And he did sound sorry, his voice heavy. "Really. But it'll be soon, Juvia . . . because my feelings for you grow stronger with every passing day."
He offered her a smile nothing short of sincere and that time, she returned it, despite how her knees nearly gave out on her.
She was getting cold and even more tired as she asked timidly, "But will you wait out for Juvia, Gray-sama? You won't fall for anyone else, will you, and leave her waiting?"
He bowed his head to look down at her, so close that their arms were touching from shoulder to elbow and that her hair was brushing his cheeks. "I wouldn't do that to you."
And that was all that needed to be said. He'd said it so genuinely, so firmly, and she had that much faith in him to know that he wasn't lying.
She loved him that much.
And then, as much as she'd tried to hold it in and turn away to cover it with her hand, she yawned.
Gray blinked at her and glanced back toward the sliding glass door. "Maybe you should go back to bed. We do have the Games tomorrow and its uncertain whether or not that we're ones to compete."
She shook her head rapidly, horrified. "N-N-No, Gray-sama, Juvia is fine, really, she just . . ." She yawned again, much to her embarrassment.
If she went back to bed . . . if she went back to bed, then what if she awoke in the morning to find this all a dream? This wonderful moment out here with Gray was now one of her most prized memories and what if she awoke to find it all unreal?
She didn't want to think about it.
Shakily, she held out her right hand's pinky finger and murmured, "P-Promise Juvia, Gray-sama . . . that when she awakens tomorrow, all of the things you said . . . won't just be another one of her fantasies. Promise me that this is real."
He solemnly curled his finger around her own. "I promise."
"H-How will I know?"
His lips were down by her ear. "You'll know, Juvia." He kissed her cheek. "Trust me, you'll know."
Her entire body stiffened at the contact, the area of where his lips had brushed burning. She blinked swiftly, a familiar hazy feeling in the back of her mind growing as her legs finally gave out and she lost consciousness, which was actually the least of all ways that she'd wanted to fall asleep that night.
And then, she wondered how to figure out that last night wasn't a dream when she'd awoken in the morning, dazed.
"Trust me, you'll know."
And then she realized that even most the intimate moments of her and Gray in her dreams hadn't even compared to what she'd felt last night . . . to how she'd felt.
"Trust me, you'll know."
She did know.
A/N: I haaaate endings! This wasn't originally supposed to be a Chapter 282 Confession because I didn't want it to be one (mostly because I wouldn't know how to make Gray confess), but then it started heading in that direction and just a confession's happily-ever-after still wasn't what I wanted, so I added that angsty bit about Erza sort of convincing him to tell her. Would Erza even do something like that? Maybe she would cuz she thought she was doing the better thing . . . Or maybe Mira would, what with all the Matchmaking Mirajane fics out there . . . .
No OOCness, maybe? Well, then how about you review and tell me (how much you liked the story?)