Wow. I haven't written for these characters in forever… I apologize for any mistakes with grammar and stuff, it's pretty short, but I think it's pretty OK character wise? If it isn't any suggestions would be great.
Retasu
Her touch is hesitant and fleeting but it's enough for the cold heat to sink into my skin. She jerks back but then slows, brows furrowed and blue eyes dull with the disappointment and depression I was hoping to bear alone. She remained naïve of the full situation for only so long, a disappointing fact considering that the real thing would have known immediately if not questioned me until she had all of the information, but she still figured it out all too soon. The ointment may cool the burns but it does not rid me of them completely. She noticed of course, not at first but she did eventually.
I can't decide if I wish she would have remained ignorant of the truth or if she would be more like the woman she was based off of.
The room is dark, the only light is her and her perfect skin that glows softly and after a while it has the same effect on me as sitting in front of the computer for too long. She gives me a watery smile. Pink lips, creamy skin, and blue eyes forever seared into my memory. I have grown old but she will never. She will remain forever and she doesn't even know it.
I can't do this anymore. Having her here might be the only thing more painful than having millions of miles separating me from the actual thing. She's not the same; she's too eager to please me, she holds an affection for me that the real thing never felt, and she's too giggly and bold. It's not the same. But I'm too selfish to get rid of her; besides, it's too late anyway. She has her own mind and destroying her would be a waste as well as an event that would continue to haunt me till the day I do finally die.
The others don't understand this and I'm sure they see me as weak. I do too. Kish looks down on me for it but Taruto keeps him away, telling him "You would understand if it was her." They both have grown; become men now, stronger from their experiences. Kish is no longer selfish and wicked; he takes care of his people and expects me to be able to do the same. Not sit around and create programs to build a girl I haven't seen in years and will never see again. Taruto is still spoiled and snappy but he has grown quiet and more mature as well as tall.
They're both strong and respected and so am I. But, unlike them, I do not deserve it.
This must stop. But every time I think this I can't pull it off. I can't bring myself to. I continue to make excuse after excuse and I truly am weak.
I scowl at her, reaching out to the button that will turn her off. Not forever, just until the longing for her presence grows too strong and I must turn her on again. She is an addictive thing that I do not have the strength to get over. She sobs, eyes filling with tears that will disappear as soon as they've fallen and my name slipping like a prayer from her lips. Her voice is not the same, her eyes not expressive enough, and her hair too dull. She is not Retasu and she never will be.
She reaches out to me, a tempting embrace that will only leave me scarred. But I am weak. I give into temptation. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the pain and forcing myself to instead focus on the thing that I have longed for since I was young. It isn't hard.
It is her who has to push me away but I quickly regain my composure and take a step back. She tries to smile, delicate hands fluttering around my now burned arms as if she wants to take the pain away, take the action back. But I regret nothing.
I smile back at her and I press the button knowing that in a day's time she will be back on.