Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Intimate
Intimate. Well, that was one way of putting it.
Naruto spit out chunks of dirt and blood, reminding himself to clean the worm guts off of his teeth. He was most certainly getting "intimate" with the ground.
'And the worm', he shivered.
And, you could say, Sakura's fist.
No matter what he tried to say, Sakura and Ino both thought he was a 'lecherous pervert'. He was pretty sure he wasn't a pervert. Nope. Not one bit.
Even if his god father was Ero-Sensei.
And even if Ero-Sensei had been his private teacher for 3 whole years.
And even thought Kaka-Baka is his teacher, because Sasuke was also his student and he...deferred and went to Orochimaru who only wanted him for his body, and had a long creepy tongue, and - 'Nope. Not thinking about that. No way, no how.'
So! Naruto wasn't a pervert even though Jiji, the Crystal Ball Pervert, was almost like his real grandpa...'Bad thoughts. Abort! Abort!'
And even though Ebisu, the Closet Pervert, briefly taught him. Briefly.
And even though -
Wait.
Why was every one of his male role models, (and teachers for that matter), a pervert? 'I mean, even Iruka was a pervert...' Was the world trying to make him become a pervert, too?!
...
...
So, yeah. Because of all his pervert roll models, Sakura now thought he was a pervert. And that is why he's currently being 'intimate' with the ground.