You Can't Catch Legendaries

by Inferno Vulpix

The best trainers, at the pinnacle of their strength, can possibly defeat a Legendary like Entei or Articuno. None on their own can become strong enough to defeat a Legendary like Lugia or Rayquaza. But defeated or not, the Legendaries made absolutely certain that no trainer could ever catch them.

You can't catch Legendaries.

A good trainer, with a well-chosen team and good strategies, can best a Lengendary in battle. Maybe not the ones at the top of the pecking order, but at least some of the lesser Legendaries like one of the Legendary Beasts.

A good trainer can best a Legendary in battle, and could then throw a Pokeball at the Legendary. It might even have stuck.

But you can't catch Legendaries.

Because Legendaries aren't idiots.

See, when the first Pokeballs were made out of Apricorns, by artisans dedicating their lives to the craft, Legendaries were there, observing. They saw that people could make devices to seal away and control Pokemon, and they quickly concluded that they wanted no part of that.

They observed, and found that it was impossible to have two Pokeballs for the same Pokemon. Same artisan, different artisan, once the first Pokeball caught a Pokemon any and all further attempts to capture it would be met with categorical failure, unless the first Pokeball ceased to exist.

So one day, the Legendaries gathered from the far corners of the Earth at the most skilled artisan in the world and requested that they be made Pokeballs. For the Legendaries knew that if they were already caught, they could be caught no more. It was then only a matter of safely stowing their Pokeballs.

The artisan worked day and night, drawing upon the unique abilities of the Legendaries as he needed, and produced what he proclaimed as "The best Pokeballs that this world has ever or will ever see." Thanks to the blessings of the Legendaries, these Legend Balls were impervious to all damage short of something that could destroy a Legendary itself. Efforts of Dialga and Celebi ensured that they could not be sent back in time or otherwise be in two places at once. Palkia, Giratina, Darkrai, and Cresselia altered the fabric of reality in the material of the Pokeball, so that they could not be teleported, plucked from a dream, or otherwise spirited away. Only bare force could move the Legend Balls, and to achieve that you had to physically reach them. The myths say other blessings were given, but do not delve into details.

The Legendaries aren't idiots, and they took every precaution to ensure their freedom. While once they considered to have each Legendary hold their Legend Ball at the heart of their domain, they quickly realized that any trainer who could defeat the one Legendary could then scour its domain for the Legend Ball, and thus enslave the Legendary.

And so it formed. The Great Shrine, a grand pedestal with a branch for each Legend Ball, stowed in the furthest depths of Mt. Coronet, guarded by Regice, Regirock, Registeel, and Regigigas. If they were to be defeated, Dialga and Palkia would bend time and space to appear and defend the shrine. It was thought that none could ever breach these defenses. That, while a team of mortal Pokemon could conceivably defeat one of the Regi Trio, no team of mortal Pokemon could defeat all three, Regigigas, and then have strength to defeat even Dialga and Palkia.

You can't catch Legendaries, for Legendaries aren't idiots, and yet the Legendaries were enslaved anyways.

You see, they expected to face a trainer, a person at the height of his talents pushing the boundaries, seeing if even the immortal shapers of the world could fall before him. And they did face these trainers. Sinnoh's lore is full of great trainers coming from distant lands and engaging in climactic battles against what humans came to know as the Defenders of Coronet. Many tried, all were defeated.

And yet the Legendaries were enslaved. They anticipated a trainer, and one day they found an army.

If a good trainer plays their cards right, their crown achievement in life could be defeating a Legendary. This is only easier when in a group. For example, if you had three skilled trainers, shoring up each other's weaknesses, they could enter a fight against a Legendary Bird and expect victory. Trainers of this skill, however, are few and far between. It would be unusual for three to be alive at the same time, let alone in the same group. But it had happened on occasion, and Legendaries saw this happen. But they did not fear these groups, because there is a world of difference between being stronger than one low-tier Legendary and being stronger than three low-tier Legendaries and three high-tier Legendaries. As old as they are, the likes of Dialga and Palkia boast a staggeringly large victory rate.

They anticipated a trainer, and one day they found an army. Dozens of trainers, hundreds of Pokemon, all of them the strongest drawn from every region, every continent. The Regis didn't stand a chance. Regigigas found himself overwhelmed, and even Dialga and Palkia ended up defeated under the sheer numbers.

But how could such a force come to be? How could so many trainers come to have a unified ambition and goal? What could lead these people, as head of the strongest force the world has ever known, a force even the mightiest of Legendaries fear?

Why, it was the power of a Legendary working against the Legendaries. Not Mewtwo, as you might think. Mewtwo, as well as Deoxys and Genesect, were quickly given Legend Balls of their own by the other Legendaries. When the Legend Balls were first created, a number extra were produced in case of situations like this, so that the power of a Legendary could never be used against them.

No, it was not a fluke of the births of new Legendaries that brought their downfall, it was the fact that humans are entirely too creative. In the wastelands of Orre, where crime was as abundant as Pokemon weren't, humanity made the greatest advancement in Pokeballs since their conception. The Snag Machine, which made the aforementioned trait, where being captured made any and all Pokeballs categorically fail on you, a moot point.

The leader of the criminal group that invented this took his best people and overcame the nearest Legendary. It was a great struggle, nearly resulting in loss for Team Snagem, but in the end it was a victory, and the visiting Entei came under their power. With Entei under their grasp, it did not take long before the same was true of Raikou and Suicune too.

This was how Gonzap became undisputed ruler of Orre, by virtue that no one had the ability to oppose him and his Beasts.

The following wars of conquest were quick and brutal. Hoenn's League defeated within a day, as soon as Gonzap could march his men there. The power of three Legendaries and the firepower that had bested them meant that no League had the power to stop him. The Kanto/Johto and Sinnoh Leagues gathered together in desperate attempt to stop Gonzap, but since Gonzap had also used the Snag Machine to great effect on the Pokemon who used to belong to the Elite Four of Hoenn, the battles were no more difficult than the first. Before long all four of the regions were under his empire.

Back in the first days of the Pokeball, when Legendaries still held their Legend Balls at the heart of their domains, this sort of event was not unheard of. It had only taken a couple of such events to convince the Legendaries to change their ways, but those couple of events saw the Pokemon world viciously brought under a single banner only for that great power to be scattered to the winds by the combined wrath of the rest of the Legendaries.

Gonzap knew this, and Gonzap wasn't an idiot. The only force that could defeat him was the Legendaries, and while Gonzap could catch Legendaries, the Legendaries would amass themselves into an army to destroy him, as they had done when this had happened in the past.

So Gonzap had little time. For as much as the Legendaries lacked a decent communication system, they would surely be prompt to respond to a threat such as him. He had heard the stories, and knew that if he gained the Great Shrine he would be unstoppable. His empire was founded on the gamble that he could gain control of the Legendaries before they could stop him.

He gathered the strongest trainers in the world, making the offer to choose between great power under his rule and terrible punishment under his rule. Word had spread of his empire, and few disbelieved him. While not all of the world's mighty followed him, those of strong enough morals to reject and put themselves and their Pokemon at such risk were precious few.

And so on Gonzap marched, into Mt. Coronet, through the Defenders of Coronet, and into the room of the Great Shrine.

And this, dear reader, is how Wes came to rule the world.

Wes was not an idiot. Wes knew he could not stand up against Gonzap's forces. But Wes had been entrusted with the portable Snag Machine, and thus it had been Wes to deliver the finishing blows, the decisive Snags, against the Defenders of Coronet. With such power on his side, and Gonzap and his army similarly weary, Wes knew that in that moment was his only chance to stop Gonzap.

The traitorous battle was by no means easy. Gonzap was still strong, Wes's new Legendaries were still recovering from defeat, and a great army was backing up Gonzap. Wes would have likely lost anyways if he did not sway many of the trainers with better moral character to side with him against Gonzap. These were the people who sought good but knew the futility of struggle in overwhelming odds, and thus did not flee when Gonzap presented his offer. But now, they saw that their choice could decide the leader of Team Snagem, and choose accordingly.

And so Gonzap was dethroned by the one he trusted most, and Wes gained control over all of the Legendaries of the world. Upon stripping the Great Shrine bare, Wes took his army and left for Sinnoh's capital, to prepare for the oncoming storm. It did not take long for the many Legendaries of the world to strike back against Wes, but with their Legend Balls in Wes' hands there was no contest.

Wes wasn't an idiot. He knew the flaws in the way the Legendaries had protected themselves. He had to, in order to help exploit them. He knew that in order to not fail in the same way as the Legendaries, he had to do things differently than the Legendaries. In his autobiography, Wes told us: "Once I had a force strong enough to unite the world on my own, I had no need or desire for the Legendaries. With them contained as they are, they also cannot topple my empire as they toppled previous regimes to prevent humanity from growing strong enough to challenge them. Every time I used them could have been the point where a devious plot goes into action and ends with the world in shambles and the Legendaries burning the remains. Every day I keep them close at hand is the same risk, much like how the Legendaries' undoing was due to how they stored their Legend Balls. I want peace. I want prosperity. I want my homeland of Orre to support Pokemon again. I want the world to be as good a place as I can make it, and I don't see the Legendaries allowing any of that, if they had the choice. I'm not immortal, and as time ticks on the hands of fate would likely conspire to have some ill-begotten plan release the Legendaries on the world, with wrath and vengeance unheard of except in myths of lost eras. Well, if the hands of fate do truly conspire against me, I will at least make it as hard as possible. I have hidden the Legend Balls, with all of the Legendaries inside. They are not hidden in a place easily reached, that some random person might stumble upon them. They are not hidden somewhere notable, that someone could search obvious locations and find it. It is my very dear hope that we do not see the Legendaries for at least hundreds of years from now, by which point we may be able to deal with them ourselves."

The time of Wes was indeed prosperous. After he had finished conquering the world, he created elected offices, mainly ceremonial in power, but then gradually granted this assembly more and more of his power. By his death, his family was the figurehead in the governing of the world. In his autobiography, he confirmed that this was by design. Wes feared the Legendaries, and sealed them away. Wes distrusted his distant descendants, and took power from them before it could be given. Wes believed in the people of the world to, even if we cannot be effective and efficient like a monarchy would, not mess things up too bad while progress marched on.

Wes was an idiot.

I write this in a forest, not because I am on a journey, but because there is no such thing as a city anymore. I write this with pencil and paper, not because I have a sentimental fondness for the mundane, but because the mundane is all that is left to me. I write this after all that Wes sought to build was torn down around those he believed would carry on his ideals. Simply put, the world government he built didn't last a decade beyond his passing. As much of a figurehead he was, Wes underestimated how important his presence was to keeping the more radical elements of society contained. His successor had neither the ability nor the reputation to do the same. A great civil war broke out and the world fractured into regions again. The warring continued for another decade, regions vowing death on those who were allies mere months before. Orre, the once capital of the world, is now depopulated after a brutal offensive, but Sinnoh, the main contender, is too weak to enforce order on anyone.

And then, in great foolishness, Johto decided that if they could find the Legendaries the world could be unified again, only under their rule. That's unfair, actually. Every region was doing the same thing; Johto's the region that succeeded. Except they didn't have nearly as much caution as Wes did, and the Legendaries found themselves free in short order.

The most reliable reports say that the Legendaries decided to start by destroying the Legend Balls and continue by destroying humanity. No one can be sure though, because that is the day the world fell apart. Some doubt the Legend Balls are really gone, because of one notable fact:

You can't catch Legendaries.

Now more than ever, you can't catch Legendaries. No Pokeball, not even a Snag Ball, has any effect on them, on the few occasions one of them is defeated in the midst of its genocide. Some think this means that the Legendaries did not destroy the Legend Balls, but instead found a way to improve them to resist Snagging. Others think the Legendaries devised a custom protection on their own and destroyed the Legend Balls. Either way, the Legendaries are bent on destroying humanity, and there is nothing humanity can do to stop them.

You can't catch Legendaries. We were most definitely idiots. Arceus have mercy.