Chapter 1: Two sides of the same coin
Solomon Wreath hated the skeleton detective. It was just a fact of life that everyone just accepted. Wreath and Skulduggery Pleasant often crossed paths on a near weekly basis due to Pleasant's magical family-friendly escapades with his edgy teenage partner, Valkyrie Cain. Wreath had tried desperately to withhold his inner desire to punch his obnoxious bony face into oblivion, mostly for Valkyrie's sake, and knew that Pleasant felt the same way. It was strange... it was like their hatred somehow... compelled them- like magnets. Maybe that was why Wreath found himself sitting at arms length away from him on his sofa. Or maybe it was because he was a necromancer. Necromancers liked dead things.
And Skulduggery was the deadest thing Wreath knew.
They were just staring at each other, face to skull, neither uttering a word. The tension was thick. Really thick. Like phallic imagery thick. And then they started kissing. The two were locked in a furious exchange of sloppy kissing noises and the occasional grunt. Since Skulduggery had no tongue, or lips, or body, the making out consisted of Wreath intricately licking the skeleton's teeth. He then started tonguing his sexy, gaping eye sockets, before bringing it back down to his rugged jawline.
Skulduggery broke the kiss and looked longingly at the dark haired man in his arms, Wreath's saliva running from his soulless eye sockets resembling tears of ecstasy.
"I love you, Solomon"
"I love you, too, Skulduggery" whispered Wreath.
"Please," started Skulduggery. "Call me Skuluggy"
"Fuck me Skuluggy"
Skuluggy then proceeded to unbutton Wreath's black coat. Likewise, Wreath tossed his trilby to the armchair in the far left and undid his striped blue tie. By the time he made it down to Skulduggery's trousers Wreath had already been stripped down to his black pirate boxers.
"Nice pants," commented Skulduggery. "Like mine?"
The skeleton detective ripped off his trousers to reveal a kinky leather thong, which was promptly removed by Wreath's teeth. He then proceeded to weave his tongue in and out of his pelvis, and Skulduggery groaned in pleasure. Wreath continued along the back of his legs and began sucking off his tailbone. The unusual shape and texture of his coccyx felt good in his mouth, and reminded him of a toy he had purchased from Bad Dragon. Skulduggery returned the gesture by picking up Wreath and pushing him back onto the sofa. A bony hand snaked into the necromancer's pants and found his paenus. The long, skinless fingers began working his shaft and firmly grasped his balls. Wreath writhed under his beloved Skuluggy's clutches, unable to escape from his calcium-infused prison of love. His hands began to quicken in pace. Ever so slowly, Skulduggery plunged his index finger into Wreath's dickhole. The necromancer couldn't contain himself any longer and cum spurted like a fountain and lathered the two and all nearby furniture in Wreath's creamy love butter.
Wreath threw his head back onto the skeleton's shoulder and moaned. "Sorry about the mess,"
"Don't worry about it," sighed Skulduggery, pecking Wreath's cheek. "Now bend over. That ass needs seeing too."
He obeyed and got on all fours. Skulduggery's hand rose and came down hard on Wreath's meaty, voluptuous booty. He whimpered in exhilaration. Skulduggery slapped his ass a few more times before Wreath turned and said to him:
"Skuluggy, I want you inside me"
"Okay," said skulduggery, before climbing into Wreath's ass.