Hatori stood up, removing his stethoscope from his ears. "His body seems perfectly fine, and he's as healthy as ever. If you'd like to hear it, I have an inkling of what might be going on."

The doctor was currently checking on Hatsuharu Sohma, who was on a two-week vacation at Shigure's house, and the owner of said house had called in a panic, saying Haru was extremely sick and needed to be looked at. When Hatori had arrived, knowing the dog was probably blowing things way out of proportion, but nevertheless humoring him, Shigure had explained the situation in full detail.

"Oh, yeah?" Kyo said angrily crossing his arms. "Explain why he keeps trying to eat my socks."

The whole situation had started when Ayame found out that green was considered to be a lucky color. Lucky Kyo- as the snake called him- could certainly use something green! So, Ayame made him a thick pair of fuzzy socks, and mailed it to him. The tag had read, "To Lucky Kyo, with love from Ayame."

Kyo would never admit it, but he quite liked them. They were extremely warm and soft, and he rarely took them off.

Ever since Haru had arrived, whenever Kyo was in the same room as him, he would stare…seductively? No, hungrily, at his feet.

The first time it had happened, Kyo been lounging on the couch, hands behind his head and his legs sprawled over Haru, who happened to be sitting there. Haru had looked intently at his socks for a moment before gingerly picking one up and proceeding to gnaw on it.

The strange thing about it was that Haru didn't seem to consider it out of the ordinary.

Hatori sighed deeply, sitting on a chair opposite Haru and glancing up at the rest of the household. Shigure and Kyo were staring at him, awaiting an answer, while Yuki was attempting to comfort Tohru, seeing as she had gone into a state of shock and panic when she saw Haru trying to eat Kyo's feet.

"The reason Haru has taken such a liking to your socks, Kyo, is because they look like, well, grass."

The cat bristled.

"And, seeing as he is the ox, I suppose it's only natural "

"YOU CALL THAT NATURAL?"

" to take an interest in them. He has eaten plants before."

Kyo slapped his hand into his forehead.

Haru's stoic expression never changed.

Kyo sighed. It was hopeless. He was going to have to burn these socks if he wanted the ox to lay off and leave him alone.

Although, he quite liked the attention.

"Haru, seriously, what is it with you and my socks? They don't look that delicious to me…" he trailed off. With Haru chewing them so intently, they were starting to look rather appetizing…

"GAH! Baka ushi! Get off!" He shook his head, clearing it, and yanked his feet away, almost kicking the cow in the face.

"But Kyo," Haru whined, sounding like a five-year-old. "Please?"

"No."

Then Kyo had an absolutely brilliant, phenomenal, ingenious idea.

He pulled the socks off, wincing at the smell, and stuck them on his hands.

"Hatsuharu Sohma," he said in a deep voice, moving his hands as if the socks were talking.

Haru's eyes widened, his mouth fell open in shock, and he scrambled frantically backwards. "H-how do you know my name?"

Kyo could have hit him over the head with a brick, but his hands were currently busy.

"The God of Socks has been displeased with your actions. You must repay him, and do whatever he wills until you return to your own home."

Haru bowed low. "Anything you wish, 'o great one."

Kyo paused, thinking. "My first command is…for you to have Shigure help you write a love poem to Yuki."

Haru regarded the socks with a slight look of despair on his face. "If it is what you wish…."

"What the hell is this?" Yuki asked himself as he flicked through the pages of the "Poem of Eternal, Undying Love," as it was called.

This was too advanced, and, er, explicit, to have been anyone besides Shigure, but the basic content and the name scrawled on the back told him otherwise.

"From Hatsuharu."

"Haru, why…" Yuki trailed off, shaking his head and stealing a glance at the ox.

Haru looked at him blankly, speaking a sentence that Yuki would remember for the rest of his life.

"The Sock God told me to."

And that was how Yuki ended up believing Haru was mental, and how Haru became Kyo's slave for the next two weeks.

Reviews are greatly appreciated. *hint hint*