The World Domination Kit
Brought to You by the Pure Evil Company
Have your latest plans for world domination failed? Did some furry-footed, curly-haired, height deprived creature destroy your power source? Did a force of men; an elf; a dwarf; a wizard; and two more furry-footed, curly- haired, height deprived creatures best your minions on the doorstep to your own land? Did you give up hope after that embarrassing defeat?
If you answered yes to these above questions, then we have the kit for you. The Pure Evil Company has created this kit to be a dark hope to the darkest hearts in their time of need. Our company has had many evil minds working on perfecting this product for the last three centuries. Finally, after breaking contracts, and tricking new workers into joining our company, we have perfected our kit and are ready to pass it on to you.
Normally, this kit costs around $1,254,999.99 (which is nothing to a good dictator). But since it is your countless year of existence, this kit was bought for you by one of your most trusted minions _______________________ (who, unfortunately, used your money to buy it).
There are many different kits, each fitting to the special needs of each type of evil villain. Please check one of the following beings:
Burning Restless Red Eye That Sees All ___ Corrupt Wizard/Sorceress ___ Demented Clown ___ Demon Possessed (General Creature) ___ Deranged Mime ___ Double Crossing Second-Hand Man/Woman ___ Evil King/Queen, Lord/Lady, or Dictator ___ Evil Spirit ___ Evil Spirit With No Form ___ Evil Sustained on Elements of the Earth ___ Half Dead Half Alive Creature ___ Ogre ___ Other ___ Troll ___
Once marked, please submit a psychic request to the Evil Company for the kit the best fits you.
Remember, that these kits were designed to help you cover your world in the darkness of your power. If this goal is not achieved by using our kit, then you may return it with in twenty years of its purchase date for a full refund. However, there are exceptions. If you received this on your countless year of existence, then you may return the kit, but you will receive no refund, because you didn't pay for it (though it was bought with your money). Also, if you paid with the lives of your minions, there will be no refund. We aren't responsible for any evil minion lost under our care.
We hope that this kit works for you, as it has for us in the business world.
Sincerely,
Those at the Pure Evil Company
Have your latest plans for world domination failed? Did some furry-footed, curly-haired, height deprived creature destroy your power source? Did a force of men; an elf; a dwarf; a wizard; and two more furry-footed, curly- haired, height deprived creatures best your minions on the doorstep to your own land? Did you give up hope after that embarrassing defeat?
If you answered yes to these above questions, then we have the kit for you. The Pure Evil Company has created this kit to be a dark hope to the darkest hearts in their time of need. Our company has had many evil minds working on perfecting this product for the last three centuries. Finally, after breaking contracts, and tricking new workers into joining our company, we have perfected our kit and are ready to pass it on to you.
Normally, this kit costs around $1,254,999.99 (which is nothing to a good dictator). But since it is your countless year of existence, this kit was bought for you by one of your most trusted minions _______________________ (who, unfortunately, used your money to buy it).
There are many different kits, each fitting to the special needs of each type of evil villain. Please check one of the following beings:
Burning Restless Red Eye That Sees All ___ Corrupt Wizard/Sorceress ___ Demented Clown ___ Demon Possessed (General Creature) ___ Deranged Mime ___ Double Crossing Second-Hand Man/Woman ___ Evil King/Queen, Lord/Lady, or Dictator ___ Evil Spirit ___ Evil Spirit With No Form ___ Evil Sustained on Elements of the Earth ___ Half Dead Half Alive Creature ___ Ogre ___ Other ___ Troll ___
Once marked, please submit a psychic request to the Evil Company for the kit the best fits you.
Remember, that these kits were designed to help you cover your world in the darkness of your power. If this goal is not achieved by using our kit, then you may return it with in twenty years of its purchase date for a full refund. However, there are exceptions. If you received this on your countless year of existence, then you may return the kit, but you will receive no refund, because you didn't pay for it (though it was bought with your money). Also, if you paid with the lives of your minions, there will be no refund. We aren't responsible for any evil minion lost under our care.
We hope that this kit works for you, as it has for us in the business world.
Sincerely,
Those at the Pure Evil Company