Hey all!
I originally intended this to be a one-shot, but it just kept feeding itself until it became a two episode Frankenstein. I had a lot of fun writing this one! Enjoy and please comment! Thanx!
She was summoned from a very pleasant dream by the sound of her mobile being texted at in the middle of the night.
"What the hell..." She moaned, as she reached for it, the mild green light from the screen hurting her squinting eyes. It was a local call report for debauchery. Time to go to work.
Citizen watch sucked.
As Emma rose from her bed, she rubbed her neck and growled. Storybrooke was ridiculously small and her job as Sherriff had so far required little more than maybe patrolling, scolding kids for jaywalking, and maybe teenagers stealing cigarettes from a shop. What else was there in this pathetic suburban life? Really, what could happen at four o'clock in the morning?
She haphazardly brushed through her blonde hair and put on her little red leather jacket before grabbing the keys to her Patrol Car, speeding off to Main with her gun and badge firmly clasped on her right hip. As she turned, she saw what seemed to be a man walking errantly in zigzag patterns. He was singing, too.
"Great. I got woken to take care of the local wino…" She huffed as she pulled over, bracing herself for any possibility of violence.
She pulled over under a street lamp and walked to the guy, one hand over the holster of her gun. "Hey!" She called out as she paced to him. "Excuse me!"
The man swung in a single turn and smiled at her. "Ah!" He smiled, tumbling around. "Come to join the party then, have you, love?"
A British accent... interesting, especially in view of the hoards of foreigners that loved to visit the bumfuck town of Storybrooke... not.
Emma frowned. "I'm afraid the party is actually over, buddy, you're disturbing the peace..." She continued to walk assertively towards the staggering, drunken hobo. "Come on, let's get you home, Sir."
He took three swaggering steps towards her, standing under the light. "My place or yours, darling?" He leaned his head closer to hers with a cheeky, malevolent grin. "Or shall we take it to Granny's B&B?"
Emma side grinned. "How about a kennel down at the animal shelter, pal?"
"As long as there's room service..." He tried to reach out with his right hand to touch her hair.
Emma moved back in one swift motion. "Whoa Buddy, too close for comfort!" She huffed, holding one hand out in front of her. "I'm warning you..." She showed him her handcuffs.
The man inhaled through tight pursing lips and squinted. "Oh, a tough lass, you are. Terribly sexy..." He looked up into her eyes and licked his lips. "Tell you what, darling... I let you chain me down, and you..." He continued pushing towards her. "...let me do the rest whichever way I can..."
She gave him a single hard shove and he crashed back against the Patrol, widening his eyes and laughing.
"You're out of line, pal." She reached out and turned him around, pressing him down against the hood of the car. "You're under arrest." She whisked him down, looking for possible weapons.
"Oi there, you didn't even buy me flowers first." He hissed.
"Shut up." She huffed as she produced a wallet and a small flask from his back trouser pocket. "Do you usually take the party with you, mister..?."
"Kragen..." He turned and stood mere inches from her face, grinning devilishly. "But you can just call me Devlin, sweetheart." He licked his lower lip lasciviously. "And no, I don't "take" the party, love... I AM the party."
"Sure you are... get in the car." She said as she opened the door and tucked his head in to sit at the back.
She walked around and sat behind the wheel, starting the engine. Devlin leaned his chin right behind her, by her shoulder. "So, are we done with the pleasantries?" He grinned.
Emma rolled her eyes. "Please sit back, Mr. Kragen."
"Oh, come on, love, you can do better than that!" He wrinkled his nose. "Come on... try harder, I'm not really that hard to get." And he kissed her ear... licked, rather.
She turned and shoved him back. He bounced against the back of his seat and laughed.
"You're really quite the funny guy, aren't ya?" She looked at him through the rear view mirror. "Just where on earth do you come from, buddy?"
"Why, from Storybrooke, Maine, of course, like the rest of us."
"Nah, not with that accent, you don't."
"It's just the way I'm made, love..." He leered at her. "And you? I don't recall ever seeing you around, for sure..."
"I'm not having this conversation with you." She smiled.
He once again sat up. "Ah why not, love? I won't bite you... not too hard, anyway... and not in any places you won't enjoy... More like, nibble..."
She sighed deep and grinned as she rolled her eyes. "You REALLY need to get laid, pal."
"That I do..." He winked. "Might I tickle your fancy? Or anything else?"
This time she just chuckled. But he continued to stare at her through the mirror. His eyes were the deepest, most intense blue she had ever seen and he was, to be precise, not a guy she would have turned down on a hot date, if of course, he weren't some drunken asshole on the prowl. He sported an unshaven jaw line and a piercing on his right ear and she was shocked to notice that he wore eyeliner which, by the way, she hated to admit looked far better on him than it ever had on her. He was dressed in a black t-shirt, a black leather biker jacket and ripped trousers over biker boots and he looked somewhat of a lout; And a damn good looking lout.
They reached the precinct and the handsome, rugged troublemaker grinned as Emma led him to the cell. She turned on the lights and after closing the jail cell behind her with a key, she stood, looking at the man before her. "Ok, Mr. Kragen, hands out, I'll remove those things..."
With a grin and an upward, dangerously sensual glare, Devlin stuck his hands out through the bars. After she removed the cuffs, he leaned his head close and whispered, "Thank you, milady..." and winked.
Emma swallowed and returned his glare. She went on to sit behind her desk, placing his meager belongings on the desk.
"Let's see now, Mr. Kragen..."
"Devlin, love... let's leave the formalities, we're getting to know each other so well…" He cackled back.
She looked at him from her side and shook her head with a sigh as she returned to his personals, witting them down on a list. "One wallet with... two hundred dollars..."
"Got paid tonight. Not a crime now, is it, Sherriff?"
"One Driver's license... Devlin Kragen..." She looked at his ID photograph. "Says here you're... twenty eight?"
"I'm as old as the devil, love..."
"Whatever... twenty... eight..." She jotted down. "One guitar pick... make that two... One flask with..." She smelled inside the bottle and sneered. "...rum, one joint..." She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Pot? Really?"
"That's not mine." He smiled.
"Yeah, right." She shook her head and went for the final item, not wanting to get into a whole lot of trouble regarding Maine's anti-drug use laws. "One key ring shaped like... a hook?"
"Aye, love..."
"What are you, some kind of Goth?" She sneered. "Aren't you a little too old for that?"
Devlin stood up and smiled. "I'm Captain Hook, darling."
Emma chuckled. "Yeah, and I'm Tinkerbell."
"How do you do, Miss Bell?"
"Right..." She shook her head. "Who do I call to settle your bail price, Captain Whacko?"
"Try my manager..." He huffed. "You'll find his card in there. Or you might not need to. Mr. Gold." His grin disappeared. "I'm sure you know him."
"Manager?" Emma frowned.
"Captain Hook and the Jolly Rogers, love." He smiled again. "Lead vocals and rhythm guitar…That would be me."
She smiled at him nodding. "You're a musician."
Even though it was plain to see he was sobering up, he didn't lose his pose. "And might the lovely Sheriff of this town have a name?"
"Emma Swan."
"Emma..." He grinned, leaning his arms on the bar of the jail cage door. "Charming name." A tattoo in his left inner arm depicted a name ridged into a heart, stabbed by a knife.
"Milah." Emma nodded. "Maybe we can call her as well."
He frowned. "I got that done during a drunken binge, love, I have no idea who she is..." He pulled his arms back.
The sun was beginning to rise on the horizon. "Ah Shit…. Come on…" She moaned in frustration, realizing that in mere minutes the town would start to buzz into life and her chances of returning home to resume her sleep were now practically nonexistent.
"Got you out of bed, did I?" He winked at her. "Pity I don't remember getting you in bed, to begin with... crying shame, I'll never drink again."
She huffed and went to the cabinet to produce the camera they used in the office; as she installed it on the tripod, Devlin looked at her with a dreadfully evil-looking grin. He hadn't stopped staring at her at all.
"Do you have a previous record there, Devlin?"
"Larger than a sailing barge, love!" He laughed. "I must have... Sheriff Graham must have been sweet for my pretty face."
Emma stared daggers at him; she hadn't completely recovered from his tragic, sudden stroke, just as they had fallen for each other. She decided to let it go as she went into the cabinet, looking for his name. She indeed found an inch thick file of him: Drunkenness, assault, harassment, assault, loitering, disturbing the peace, vandalism, drunkenness, vandalism, assault, battery, drunkenness, breach of property, drunkenness, assault…
"Wow, you have quite a list of misdemeanors here, Devlin!" She smiled. "You're quite the little troublemaker, aren't you?"
"I prefer dashing rapscallion."
She shot her eyes up at him from under her brow. She then went to the phone and picked it up. "I'll call Gold now. With any luck you'll be out of my hair within ten minutes."
"I doubt that, darling, he sleeps late."
"So do I!" She snapped and slammed the phone down. "Ugh, I need to get some coffee. Would you like some?"
He raised his eyes and for the first time since the whole event had started, he seemed legitimately interested. "I wouldn't mind one, love..."
"Salt? One spoonful or two?" She giggled.
He sneered. "Black... please... Sheriff Swan."
Just as Emma was setting up to go, she was joined by her temporary assistant, Ruby, from Granny's.
"Morning!" she chirped.
"Ah, you are a godsend." Emma huffed, hanging her jacket back up on the rack. "Urgent java."
The young girl nodded. "Ok, Java, coming right up! How do you want it?"
"One double shot latte and one black."
Ruby sneered. "Must have been quite a night..."
"You have no idea..." She tilted her head in the cell's direction, where Devlin stood leaning against the bars, the epitome of a sexy jailbird.
"Oh, my god, OMIGOD, OMIGOD, OMIGOD!" Ruby screamed jumping up and down. "IT'S CAPTAIN HOOK!"
Emma sneered, frustrated. "Aw, come on... really?"
"Oh..." Ruby flushed and walked to Devlin, who grinned a wolf-like smile at the beautiful young girl. "I am SUCH a fan! OMIGOD!"
He didn't need a cue. "Why, thank you, darling, and what might your name be?" He whispered in that deep, husky voice.
"Ruby... I saw you last weekend at the Dwarf's Inn Bar! You rock, man!"
"Oh, you have no idea. Tell your boss to set me loose, love and I will personally show you how much I rock..." He reached out and caressed her chin.
Ruby nearly fainted. Emma intervened as she pulled the girl from the shoulders. "Okaaay, coffee Ruby, now!"
The flustered girl left in an uncontained fit of giggly spasm and Devlin looked in her direction. "Where were you beauties all those times the Sheriff busted my arse before?" He huffed. "This certainly makes the clink far more... interesting."
Emma sighed and went to him with her handcuffs. "Hands out."
He calmly complied. Emma adjusted the cuffs and then proceeded to open the jail cell, pulling him out. With the same cheeky grin, he allowed himself to be dragged out of the cell and stood before the camera. "Ok then, Devlin..." Emma said as she shifted the lettering on the card for his mugshot. "One more for your mighty record; Here..." She handed him the card. "Hold that up. Look this way, please..."
She didn't know whether to laugh or weep when he grinned a powerfully sensual smile at the camera. SNAP SNAP. "Ok now, on your side..."
"Oh, I love a creative woman, suggesting different positions. We'd make a hell of a team, there, Swan..."
Emma looked at him over the camera. "That's Sheriff Swan. Just turn to your side, Devlin."
The man complied, still holding the card up before the lens. "You take this really seriously, don't you?"
"It's my job." She replied with a tilt of the head. "I need your finger prints. "
He paced to her and stood before her face. "You ever heard us play, love?"
"I never heard of you at all, period."
"You don't know Captain Hook and the Jolly Rogers?"
"I know Captain Hook."
"Ah, so you've heard of me!"
She looked up once at him and then back to her ink cushion and cardboard fingerprint slates. "No. I've heard of the pirate in Peter Pan books. I don't know you or your band."
"Well, then you're definitely a newcomer in town." He grinned. "Had you been to one of our gigs, you'd know it… And I would quite certainly remember you."
The cardboard pieces and ink pad made a mess of her fingers. "Shit... damn small town, whatever happened to digital technology?"
He took two steps to her. "I know a thing or two about digital stuff..." He tilted his head sideways with a smile. "I'm a very... very 'digital' kind of man, love. I could show you..."
She turned and shoved him back again. "Look, I've had it with you and your sexual innuendos! You come on to me one more time and I swear to GOD I'll cut your balls off!" She snapped.
He laughed and stepped back, raising his hands. "Oh, now, now, we wouldn't want that, would we?" He sighed. "I'll be a good boy…. for now." And another wink.
She violently tugged his fingers and got his prints as she spoke. "Good. Then BE a good boy and get... the fuck... back... in your cell."
He winced as he stepped into the cell, walking backwards and still smiling. "Ooooh, a potty mouth, are you? And here I was trying to be a gentleman."
She slammed the jail shut and beckoned him with his hand. He silently paced forward and stuck his hands out again so she could once more remove the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists and looked at her. "You know, having a bloke say things like the things I say to you, love, is not such a bad thing."
"Yeah? Well where I come from we call that harassment, dude, and it can land you a five year prison sentence."
"I'm not harassing... I'm flirting." He shrugged. "I haven't even touched you."
"You licked my ear."
"I was drunk."
"You still are."
"Go on, love, you got me booked, just let me out now..."
"No can do."
He sighed and sat on the bed. She went back to doing some pending paperwork while the man in the cell slowly slipped into an agonizing hangover. After ten minutes, Ruby returned with the coffee... and with company. Two or three young women, roughly the same age as her. "See? I told you!"
The three women whined and swooned. Devlin shot a glance at them from his bed and grinned mildly before once again hiding his face behind his hands. The incoming hangover was definitely putting a damper on his flirty mood.
"Ruby, what the hell!" Emma huffed.
"I'm sorry!" Ruby smiled excitedly. "I really am sorry, Emma, but that's Devlin Kragen!"
"I'm aware of that!"
"He's gorgeous!" One girl moaned.
"We love you, Hook!" Another shouted.
"He's a rock star!" Another girl whined.
"Hardly..." Emma sighed. "Axl Rose was a rock star; Freddy Mercury was a rock star; Elvis was a rock star; this guy's just..."
"Hey!" He whined from the cell.
"Look, you guys, really, go home." She looked at Ruby. "The coffee?"
"Oh..." Ruby gasped and put her hand on her mouth. "I..."
Emma shook her head. "Really?"
The young woman ran out to get the coffee. Devlin laughed quietly. "Well, there, Swan, quite a shock, isn't it? The blackheart you picked from the alleys last night is 'Devlin Kragen'...The Captain Hook…" He smiled at her, squinting. "Don't you feel like you are, perhaps... a bit behind news?"
"The only one who's gonna be behind till I get a hold of Gold, is you."
"You have a very hard time being nice, now, don't you, Sheriff?"
She looked at him and sighed. "I'm very nice. I just don't do well with troublemakers."
He chuckled. "Didn't you ever get in trouble, love? Or have you always been the angel you seem to look like?"
She stared at him harshly and he returned the challenging glare. Emma hated to admit it, but he was right; she was a thief when I younger, a carjacker and a thief. She did time in jail and gave her own son away. She indeed had some red numbers in her checkbook. Devlin smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Ah… hit a nerve, have I? Don't worry there, Swan, takes one to know one…"
Emma turned around and continued to file his new booking when her attention was drawn by the sound of murmuring outside the door. She frowned and went to see what the fuss was about: A hoard of teenagers and young women were standing outside the precinct. Ruby stood with them, holding the two cups of coffee with an embarrassed grin.
Emma shook her head and pulled her in, closing the door behind them. "Are you kidding me?" she hollered, hands on her hips. "Just who the hell did you tell this guy was here, the New York Times?"
Ruby shrunk her shoulders and grimaced. "I may have… told a few people at Granny's…" She moaned. "I'm sorry Emma, it's just that… he's Storybrooke's biggest rock star…"
"You mean, only rock star." Emma rolled her eyes.
"Hey Swan, you might want to give Gold a call, now…" Devlin sighed. "He's probably awake… unless of course, you want me to stay a while longer…" He bit his lower lip. "And I'm always ready to oblige."
"Are you trying to be a gentleman now?" Emma turned suddenly with a sneer.
He continued to smile at her. "I'm always a gentleman. Any chance I could actually have that coffee you offered, or am I just going to watch it cool off in your friend's pretty hand?"
Ruby sighed a dumbstruck sigh as Emma took the cup from her hand and approached Devlin, turning to look at her assistant. "Ruby, get started with the paperwork over there… and see if you can manage to shoo that crowd away, it's far too early for this kind of crap."
Devlin laughed softly and shook his heads. "What's the matter love? Scared of a few fans?"
"Listen…" She pressed her lips as she handed him his cup. "I can let you out and walk home through that crowd by yourself, if you wish, or I can keep you in here till you get Gold her or whatever escort you require. No skipping bail." She sipped from her coffee.
His smile disappeared and he sank his lip into the coffee before turning to her again. "You're quite the host. You truly do know how to entertain your guests don't you?"
"It's not a dinner party."
"Pity." He smiled after sipping his coffee. "I make one hell of a devlish dinner party. Unlike some people, I know how to entertain… And if you're a nice lass and get this ridiculous bust over and done with, I might just invite you to one. A private one. My specialty." He bit his lower lip with a smirk.
"Getting paid by a lot of wayward teenagers looking for a thrill ain't my definition of entertainment there, Captain." She smiled sarcastically. "And no thank you. Just because a bunch of crazy pubescent girls swoon because you wear eyeliner and dress like some eighteenth century pirate doesn't mean I'm not gonna keep my eye on you…"
"Oh…" he smiled fully. "I would despair if you did."
"You really do think yourself a charmer, don't you?"
He chuckled. "I make a good time of what's dealt to me, love. I live day by day, and right now, even when I'm in the brig and I have somehow filed yet another lovely sheet to my record, I can say that your company, Sheriff Swan, is by far the best company I've had the privilege of having for years…"
"Oooohhh…" Ruby sighed from her desk with a swoon.
Devlin turned to her and blew a kiss. "Thank you, dear, at least one of you appreciates a compliment…"
One look from Emma, and Ruby snapped out of her trance to continue her work. She then turned back to the rugged rocker. "Well, I hope you're really enjoying it, Captain Hook, because unless Mr. Gold comes to post bail for you, you're in for the rest of the night."
Devlin sighed and looked to the floor. "Well, then best give him a ring, we're booked for a gig tonight, so kindly set me lose."
Emma smiled. "Nope. You don't get to tell me how to do my job, buster."
"Haven't I been held long enough? For bloody debauchery?" He sneered. "Just how many people do you bust for getting a little drunk?"
She huffed. "I think I'll call Gold, I'm not sure I could withstand your black eyeliner for a whole day…"
Just then, Mr. Gold showed up, unannounced, as always. "Good morning sheriff Swan." He spoke in his usual stoic voice.
"Mr. Gold!" She turned, surprised. "I was just… I…"
"Thinking about me, Miss Swan?" He widened his eyes. "Well, aren't I a great asset during a sticky situation!" he turned to Emma, cold and poker faced. "All the same, I've come to post bail for Dev; Has he given you any trouble?"
Devlin sighed and shook his head, looking down. Emma huffed. "Nothing I couldn't handle… just another flirty scumbag hobo…"
"You really do know how to warm the heart of a man, there, Swan…" Devlin huffed from his cell.
"Anyways, let's get this over with." Gold tapped his cane on the floor. "Just how much do I owe you for his behavior?"
"Well, drunkenness and disorderly behavior is usually fifty, but given his record…"
Devlin rolled his eyes and slammed his open palms on the bars. "COME ON! I want out!"
"Three hundred."
Gold nodded and produced a wallet, dropping the cash on her desk. "I take it you can handle taking this payment directly to the Mayor, Sheriff Swan; we're slightly pressed for time. The Jolly Rogers have a gig tonight. Perhaps…" He adjusted his lapel pocket handkerchief. "…you could honor us with a visit? You might enjoy the show."
Devlin silently raised his eyes to Sheriff swan, somewhat expectantly, and Emma shrugged. "I might have a beat duty. Besides, I actually enjoy music as opposed to undiscernible noise."
Gold shrugged. "Suit yourself, Emma. Can you please release my protégé now?"
Emma turned to look at Devlin and found him strangely hurt by her words. She sighed and walked to the cell. He looked visibly disturbed by both her attitude as well as the hangover that had now taken complete hold of him.
As she opened the cell door, she stood to the side and tilted her head sideways. "Right then, Bon Jovi, off you go…"
Devlin stared at her and licked his lips, not flirting, but thinking. As he paced past her, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at her. "The offer stands, love. If you deem it right, be at the Unicorn Potion Pub tonight, say, at nine?" He looked at her from head to toes and licked his upper lip. "And sexy as this may be, I'm sure you can be, perhaps… a little more creative in your attire?" He walked past her and she huffed through her nose. He turned back to her and bowed a courtesy. "The Captain will be delighted if Lady Swan decides to hop aboard the ship tonight… Alas, if she should not…" he suddenly turned very serious. "Then the Captain will be coming back to the local clink to sing her a song…"
"Right… okay there, matie…" Emma nodded, wide eyed and a contained chuckle right behind her lips. "Fare…thee well, Captain Hook."
He winked at her and then turned to Ruby, touching her chin and delivering a smooth, velvet-tasting kiss on her lips, which she didn't even attempt to fend off. "And I know YOU will be there too, lass…" He smiled and sang his way out of the precinct. "Try to talk your chief in command into accompanying you! Best table up front will be for our guests of honor!"
Gold turned to Emma with a hard, stern grin that was as friendly as a crocodile's. "Well, then, if there is no more business to be done here, I'll be going. I thank you, Miss Swan."
Screaming and shouting was heard from the outside. "Hook! Hoook!"
Emma sighed as she was left with a completely discombubbled Ruby. She played back his invitation in her mind and his sudden seriousness as he promised her one song; he did have a tantalizing personality and, who knew, he might be the world's answer to Led Zeppelin, if, of course, he ever got out of storybrooke..
. She then turned to Ruby again. "Hey!" She hit the desk twice with the tip of her fingers. "Reality check…"
"He … kissed me…" Ruby turned, teary eyed. "Devlin Kragen …. THE Captain Hook…. Kissed me…"
"He's probably kissed half the county!" She shook her head. "Come on, let's get this day done with."
She went over to the jail cell and picked up the remains of his coffee, stopping to touch the opening where his lips had not so long ago imbibed the steaming black beverage. She suddenly felt curious as hell. She turned to Ruby. "What do you think I can wear to a gig like that?"
Ruby shot a surprised stare at her. "What? You… wanna go?"
"Naa." She smiled and reached her own desk. "Just wondering what he meant by a "more creative" attire…"
"Oh!" Ruby smiled and stood up suddenly. "Like this… "
She was known in town for having an especially sensual sense of fashion, with two long extension strands in bright red and a lipstick that matched the rouge color of her perennial hoodie. "Sort of… like this, only glammier."
Emma chuckled. "Glammier?"
Ruby sighed. "But then, you're the sweet kind. Maybe a dress would do." She wrinkled her nose. "Something that shows curves…"
"Yeah, and boobs and ass and legs, I gather…" Emma chuckled and sat down behind her desk.
And for the rest of the day, she silently wondered where she would be able to find such attire her size and pull off a decently sexy look without looking like some teen groupie.