our first memory is of Papa.
he is holding you in his arms. he's wearing red. he is telling you that you have grown so much. he swings you around and puts you on his sholders. tells the old man that you look like you papa.
he loves you.
your second memory is the first time you cried.
you are playing. the old man comes and tells you that Mama and you are leaving Papa.
your exited thinking that you will have a great adventure like that kind Papa has. then you learn your never coming back. PAPA DOESN'T WANT YOU.
you dimly recall Mama sitting down. She expected this and didn't tell you.
for awhile you hate her.
you hate the old man longer.
but you never stop hating Papa.
your next memory is worse the your second yet the best one you have.
your running to/away you don't know but you run. when you can't stand and fight you run.
eventually you go back. it doesn't matter how far you run you always go back.
you only just enter when Grandfather hands you a bundle before turning back the bed your moth… don't think about it… you look down. a red quiet face looks up at you.
you name her Elaine.
she is your baby sister and you will protect her.
your first memory is of Kay.
Your sitting on a rug in a field.
he stands tall above you arm outstretched. what he's saying you can't remember. he pulls you up and you walk.
while you understand that it probably wasn't the first time you walked, some part of you still believes that Kay gave you the freedom to walk.
just like he gave you everything else.
your next clear memory is of realizing other families have Mamas and Fathers.
Cara has a father. Denny has a father and a mother. everyone has a mother and a father.
you run to Kay. he simply explains that Mama died when you were little and "we don't live with Papa anymore."
this memory would of probably faded like Kay's other explanations to the questions 'why do strawberries have seeds on the outside but apples seeds are on the inside?' 'why does the sun rise?' 'why are days called days?' 'where does the sky end?' ' why you have to take a bath?' 'why don't animals talk?' 'what would chairs look like it our knees bent the other way?' and the many other questions Kay claims you plagued him with, except later everyone tells you that your father is dead.
you accept this but always remember.
your third memory is vague less of a memory and more of a feeling.
you where sick. you and Nana were very sick.
you were lying feverish has she tries desperately to teach you spells and incantations, tales and songs. magic.
later you try frantically to remember just one more spell. just one more incantation.
you might have forgotten, or dismissed it as a fevered dream. except only weeks after Nana passed… don't think about it… your running. it works for Kay. it never really worked for you. your running.
there's a bear.
You disappear.