Title: How Do I Regret if I Know Not the Better
Pairing: Faberry (Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry)
Rating: T
Author: The unicorn in your backyard
A/N: This is my first fanfiction and English isn't my first language. Try to go easy on me :P
Reviews are very much appreciated. Please tell me how I could improve my writing/ this story. Leave prompts. Join my club, I have cookies.
How Do I Regret if I Know Not the Better
How it happened? Why it happened? What will she do? Rachel had no answer to the most crucial questions of her situation. Lying in bed wide awake at 3 in the morning her mind decided to bombard her with the reality of her feelings towards Quinn Fabray. For a long time she was obsessed with being the cheerleader's friend. Now suddenly she realises she wants more than that and has for way longer than she cares to admit.
Is it even possible for someone to be in love with the person that has tortured them for years. Apparently shit like that happens. And has happened. To her of all people. Just great.
But you can't really blame her, have you even seen Quinn, if you have it isn't a face you can ever forget. Her with her gorgeous blonde curls, hazel eyes and confident stature. It's kind of difficult not to like the girl.
Unless of course you talk to her and realise she's too full of herself, a bully, and has a knack for offensive nicknames. Well, Rachel would know just how much of a devil (a beautiful one) she is, she has faced her torment first hand after all.
Still Rachel had to do something before she went insane, more than she already is, that is. So she answered her first question, how it happened, you don't choose love, love chooses you. There, answered.
Why it happened you ask. Because the world fucking hates her. That was easy.
What will she do? Tell Quinn she is in love with her. That answer was enough to make her laugh for a good ten minutes.
Of course she isn't going to do anything about it. She's just going to face the hell she's being put through, throw on a brave smile and go on about the rest of the year that way. Get out of this dumpster town and never ever look back again. She's going to be a star after all.
Even having answered all her questions. Sleep wouldn't come to her. Tears came instead.
Quinn lay awake with her cheeks and pillow stained with her tears. She screamed again into the pillow. She couldn't let anyone hear her, it wouldn't matter anyways. Daddy would just come up and tell her to go to sleep instead of holding her and comforting her. That never happens in her house. It's always put on your fake smile and pretend everything is fine, oh and don't forget to remind everyone just how much better you are than them.
Quinn hated her family for it, she hated herself for it. She hated that everyday she'd be the one to bring tears to the eyes she cares about. She hated that she couldn't stop. She hated that the insulting words and names slipped from her tongue smooth as silk. She hated the fucking high school caste system. She hated everything.
But what does she do? Exactly what she hates. Because she is a coward. And she'll always be a coward. She will never be able to tell Rachel what she truly feels. She will never be able to call the jocks off her. She will never be able to stand up to her Dad and tell him that there is nothing wrong with her and that everything is wrong with his beliefs. She will never be able to look her mother in her eyes because all she sees is an older version of the coward she is.
She will continue to do that until she gets out of this stupid town, has her heart broken into the tiniest pieces (whose fault is that?), and never ever look back again. She's a coward after all.
Tears kept coming to her and showed no sign of stopping.
The End.
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