The Lie, a lord of the rings fanfic

Author's Note: I wish to thank SerenLyall for all of her help with creating a prompt for me, editing this piece, and giving me words of encouragement to keep on writing. This is my first piece; please understand that as a writer, I am extremely sensitive when it comes to sharing my work. I will accept constructive criticism, but please we all are writers, readers, and lovers of our own respectable fandoms and I would appreciate it if all reviews were made with kindness.

Rating: M, just to be safe. I worry too much.

The Lie

Celebrían dipped the hairy, thick, black brush into the crystal clear liquid to clean off the bristles that were muddled with a thin coat of turquoise. Taking her pallet, she then slipped her brush into the periwinkle paint to then gently glide it smoothly over the linen cloth. She tilted her hand, moving delicately as to create a thin stream of light between the clouds that she was currently trying to capture from her place at the window.

A sudden knock brought Celebrían away from her muse, only to return her to the present. To her, time stilled while she tried to capture what the Valar had given those with sight to enjoy.

"Enter," Celebrían called to whomever was behind the door. The door opened to reveal her beloved, Elrond, holding the door with his foot in order to carry two cups of steaming tea and cucumber sandwiches. Unable to keep her laughter at a bay, a giggle, and a wide smile escaped her.

Elrond smiled broadly displaying his jeweled pearls. Celebrían raised her dress in order to make her way over to her distressed warrior. It was truly a wonder for Elrond, for as he looked upon her he was able to see no drop of paint upon her clothing. She took the teacups off the tray to then gently place them upon a small wooden table. Elrond was then free to place his burden beside hers.

"Meleth, you have the gift of balance," Celebrían commented.

"Aye that I do," Elrond agreed, "a gift that the Valor has graced me with; just as he has cursed you with the ability to create worlds entirely of your own making. Although," Elrond paused, "there is but one flaw that he is unable to fix." Elrond slowly weaved his fingers into her blonde hair. Celebrían pulled back in order to angle her face upwards.

"What would that be?"

Elrond ran his fingers from her left cheek down to her strong chin. "You cannot seem to paint without any color gracing itself upon your skin." She let out a laugh that made Elrond beam with pride, but caught himself and his eyebrows furrowed when her laughter seemed forced and uneasy. The tone of her laugh was of lower pitch than higher, and her eyes did not shine.

"You missed lunch," he said taking on a more serious tone.

"I wanted, well needed, to…draw, paint…anything really." Celebrían sat down on the couch, and Elrond followed suit. Celebrían stared down at her hands, gently picking off the dried acrylic from the webs in between her fingers.

"Do you keep secrets from me?" A low whisper full of tension and despair filled the room, making the young maiden feel claustrophobic.

With a deep breath, Elrond formed a word of honesty and deject, "Yes."

A lump of coal entered her chest. Hands of a stranger she once knew rubbed her arm.

"Please, allow me to explain," he said while grabbing her hand, tightening his hold around her fingers. Celebrían only nodded, her mouth dry, some how all the moisture had disappeared. She lifted her hand when his came into view.

"Come," the Lord of Imladris held out his hand, which she took in order to chain herself to him for she knew that, if she did otherwise, she would run somewhere to be alone with her nightmarish thoughts, and that would burn her soul if she allowed them.

She thought about what she had overhead the night before between Elrond and Glorfindel. She had been walking over to ask her husband to finally join her in bed when she heard them talking. Normally, she would had made her presence known, but she couldn't bear it when she her Glorfindel state, "…pain, my friend. You must tell her." Celebrían had caught a few words here and there after that, such as "visions," "not to worry," and "heartache."

Now, Elrond led her through the establishment, to seek out the woods that resided far away from prying eyes and ears, but not so far that they could not see their home. They stopped at the edge of a meadow filled with wildflowers.

At last, his silence she could bear no longer. His silence, which is what made her fill up and overflow with sorrow, made her speak to him.

"My lord…,"

He turned, but not to her but to a spider making its web. Celebrían followed his gaze.

"A spider weaving his silk. Perfectly placing each new thread for the sole purpose of stability. A stability that was lost when he was on the ground. But what the spider does not know, is the impending doom that will befall him when the rain comes. Rain is unpredictable in a way. Even though, the spider has seen many raindrops break his web over and over again that he has worked so hard to build; that isn't the risk. The risk is that there is no way in knowing how much of the web will be salvageable when it is all over. The battle between web and rain is unstable, and that puts into question the spider's own sanity, for why keep building if the damage could be too great to bear?"

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, "Celebrían," Elrond faced her, "I will break you beyond the point of repair with my hardships. You are the only light I see in this prison cell in which I have found myself. You are the only thing I hold dear in this life. I am afraid that if I…" his voice caught, but her pleading eyes told him to continue, "if I tell you, I will push you away from me. Everyone whom I have loved has either been taken from me by force or by choice. I would never, ever forgive myself should I lose you."

Celebrían crushed herself to his form. "I feel that your soul will die if you do not tell me what is brothering you. Whatever this is, your fears, your nightmares, your… it torments you. I know it," she whispered.

"Will you not allow me my secrets, Celebrían? As I have allowed you yours," he spoke to her.

The wind blew over them, allowing the flowers to look like waves crashing into the hills and beyond the trees.

"Please do not shut me out. I am not so fragile. Perhaps when we first met… but now…" Celebrían trailed off, trying to find the right words. "We have shared so much together. So many memories good and bad. Neither you nor I have left one another. Have faith in us. Trust our love. My love."

Elrond's right hand brushed her pointed ear, "Is it not enough to you that I have not kept this to myself but shared with Glorfindel? Am I not allowed the ability to be strong?"

""Our bond is able to withstand anything." How long must I remind you of this? You once quoted that to me, I believe, when I was having fears of our marriage and your role as ruler. Do you only believe that it only works one way?" she argued back.

"No, I do not. You are as wise as you are fair. But I must be allowed to keep some things to myself and to only share with those whom I decide, Celebrían. There are some topics that I do not wish to burden you with, for I myself need consolation with those who are of a similar circumstance."

"But.."

"No, Celebrían. No matter how old we get, you will always be innocent to some things. That is one of the very reasons that you give me hope. Glorfindel and I are, to put it lightly, damaged. Damaged with war, battle, death, and other monsters that will not leave our heads. The imagination that we have when we dream shows us our fears. Our pain, Celebrían. I need you to be pure in your head in order for me to go on."

"Why? Why must you keep these feelings locked up? Why can I not have the key?" she tugged at his arm.

"Oh, my love. It is with your spirit that I find joy. Joy and belief that nothing bad will happen. It is that lie that I need that you give me.

"Lie, Elrond, how is it a lie?"

"Exactly!," he spoke in triumph.

"But what?"

"The lie is what you do not understand and what I am keeping you from. You see the happiness in the world. I see the darker side. The side that I hate, but with it I feel grounded. With you in the stars I am allowed to be there as well, even if it is for such a short while."

"I don't understand," she looked down, "and yet I will accept it."

With that admission, he gathered her into his arms and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"But you do trust me, Peredhel? Do you not?"

"Always. As you should with me." Celebrían laughed breathily into his chest.

"Why do you laugh?" he asked as she pulled her back just enough to gazed upon his face with love.

"I just thought of Glorfindel and how much of your feelings he knows." At this Elrond raised his eyebrows in question. "You provide him with a lot of material for over dramatic poetry." Elrond chuckled.

On their journey back to their home, Celebrían's thoughts wandered over how their conversation went. But she knew that there would be no change, and that it was his burden and his choice. Even though they had been married for quite some time, there was a wall that would keep her out, perhaps forever. He was right though. She had secrets of her own - maybe not dark or dangerous but still they were hers to keep and hers to share. It was not fair to ask him what she would not give in return.

When they arrived Elrond had to quickly finish up some paperwork, but promised to be back for dinner. Celebrían was just about to go back to her painting when she caught the sight of Glorfindel walking towards her husband's office chamber.

"Glorfindel, may I have a quick word?" Glorfindel jumped as he was caught slightly off guard.

"Oh, of course," Glorfindel and Celebrían went to her own study and shut the door.

"What can I…"

"Glorfindel, I just wanted to come here and thank you."

"Thank me for…"

"For taking care of Elrond in ways that I cannot." Her gaze went to the floor; her hands started fumbling together, a nervous habit she had, which would help her formulate the correct words that were stuck in her mind. "I know I am not of use to him when it comes to battle and visions. But you are and I thank you for your assistance to him."

Glorfindel, with realization in his eyes, walked to her and took her hands into his own larger, warmer ones. "You help him more than you know. Don't believe for a moment that you do not. I understand your burden as well, my lady. It is not an easy one to be on the outside. But he needs it in order to survive."

"I can't…"

"You do help him and me for that matter, my dear one. You do."

"Please explain to me how my silence and lack of knowledge helps him or you." At this Glorfindel chuckled. "I am glad that you find me so assuming."

"Celebrían, with time soldiers, become bitter, and cynical of this world. We see only death, pain, agony, and tragedy. What do you think you would become, if you saw the world this way, and the Grey Havens as your only escape?"

"I…I don't…I don't know."

"Open up your eyes. You have seen it in the men when they arrive back from battle. In the downcast heads, in the blood on themselves, in the prayer in their hearts that their follow soldiers do not die, those who are injured, and in the weight in their very souls because of those who they have lost. Watching someone you love die, Celebrían, is worse than anything in this world, for you cannot help them. For that very reason, Elrond is a healer mainly in order to fight that fate."

Celebrían let out a huff, not seeing the answer that she desired. "My lady, the weight is lifted when the soldier's see their other half. In that moment, their exhaustion evaporates, and they run to their lover's arms. Men who look like they could not make another step, run as though if they did not, the other would disappear. It is truly an unforgettable sight, one which you have seen in Elrond. I sometimes have to remind him to slow down when he greets you, in order for him not to injury himself further… And even then, he does not listen," he chuckled.

"Really?" she smiled.

"Really. Don't lose your innocence for this awareness that you seem to feel you lack. You know enough, but not so much that Elrond can't see you as his star."

"Thank you, Glor," Celebrían said as she hugged Glorfindel in thanks. He then departed from her study to seek Elrond.

Celebrían went back to her painting feeling much better knowing that her little lie, as her Meleth called it, gave him hope.