NeuviemeCiel is going at it again. What do you want? Kishi is giving her so much love that she can't help it.
Disclaimer: My name shall not be 'Masashi Kishimoto' and I be no one related to the series. Those 1,563 words are bringing me no money. Thank you.
Rating: T, blood thought of suicide and half-nakedness
If you didn't read chapter 467 yet, don't read that.
Bizarre Sky
Karin is kneeling beside Sasuke. She is kneeling and all she is seeing is nothingness and Sasuke. Cubes coming out of nothingness. The environment is strange and not secure. She doesn't feel safe there. She knows that she and Sasuke are going to stay there until that man wants something out of Sasuke again. There is no escape possible. How could there be. All there is is nothingness. All is his. Madara's presence is lingering all around her, she is feeling him everywhere but not at the same time. This place is him but he is not there.
Sasuke is there, in front of her. And he is fading. « Heal Sasuke for me, » Madara had told her. Healing Sasuke is part of what she do, but he's asking her to do it for him and she doesn't love that. Karin is healing Sasuke for Sasuke, and for herself. Because she needs him just as much as he needs her, in another way.
Sasuke is fading and she don't want to lose him. But she is losing him. The pulse of his chakra is slowing down and there's less and less with every minutes passing. She places her hand on his heart and feel him. Her Sasuke is still inside, he is still there and she still loves him. She will always. But she wonders.
She wonders what will happen of the Sasuke she has always known when that man will come back. Because he will. Will darkness swallow him again? Will there be nothing left of him after? And she wonders if healing Sasuke would be doing him bad. She wonders if letting him die wouldn't be better for him and what Madara would do to her if he was to find her still alive with Sasuke's corpse. Her eyes found Sasuke's sword and everything would be so easy.
Their bloods, their lives, would fall into the nothingness together. Maybe everything would be easier that way. But she doesn't know. She doesn't know what's after and she fear. She fears that it might be worse and that she wouldn't be with Sasuke. Would they both go back to their families? Would they be in nothingness forever? She doesn't know and doesn't want to do bad to Sasuke. And she's not ready to die again, she's not ready to lose him.
And he keeps fading before her. She doesn't hear his breath anymore, but his chest is still moving, his chakra is still fighting, somewhat. She lowers her head to his chest and knows she needs to choose now. She grabs his hand in hers and listen to his heart. And she knows Sasuke wants to keep fighting when his heart start beating faster, not by much, just enough to for her to notice the change. She feels his thumb slid on her hand and it's deliberate.
She looks at his face and he's still not awake. He will not awake on his own and his pulse is slowing down again. He is fading, he is dying and Karin can not let that happen. Her hand leaves his and is dimly caressing his bottom lip before opening her cloak. She lets it fall to the ground and is lifting her sleeve. Sasuke cannot do it on his own and it's the second time.
Karin bites on her arm and suck her chakra out of her skin, not swallowing it, careful not to absorb it back in. It's not something she loves to do, it's hurting and feeling her chakra leaving her to go back in herself is not pleasant like it is when it's for somebody else and she needs to concentrate. She needs to bite herself more than once too. But she does it anyway. She open Sasuke's mouth with two fingers and connect their mouths. The chakra is falling from her into Sasuke and he does not needs to swallow it, his body is taking it all on his own and it's disappearing right away.
She does it four more times and when she's over, her arm is bleeding. Sasuke is still not awake but his chakra is slowly growing and he is partly healed already. Her arm bleeding is stopping and she is feeling weak. She is taking Sasuke's sword away from his back and putting it in his hand, so he wouldn't look for it. Karin lays down too and she is taking his free hand in hers. She doesn't want to lose him.
Karin wakes up and she doesn't know how many hours she has slept. The lighting is still the same but it was to be expected. Sasuke's hand is not in hers anymore and that's what woke her up. Sasuke is still there beside her and his eyes are open now. His eyes are open and he's staring into the nothingness above them, his hand resting on his stomach.
More than ever, Sasuke's eyes are reflecting what he's staring at. Nothing. Karin knows that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, Sasuke is numb. He is not feeling bad, he is not feeling good. He is just laying there, his eyes set on a invisible point in the bizarre sky, and he is thinking. All he has done is playing in his mind, over and over. But he feels nothing about it. He is not proud nor ashamed. It's just there and he doesn't know what he should feel about everything that has just happen.
He doesn't love himself and he doesn't hate himself. He is just numb about it all and sometimes numb is worse than bad. Karin sits and her red eyes meet with Sasuke's. She can see herself in those black pupils and it's all that she sees. No emotions only herself. Sasuke observes her and she stares back at him.
That moment is uncomfortable for both of them. Because they know they'll have to talk about it but none of them wants to, Sasuke even less. That moment is uncomfortable but also very comforting. It's paradoxical. Sasuke knows she is here for him and he suddenly feels the need to take her hand back in his and to never let go. He is alive thanks to her, again.
"How many times?" he asks her, his voice almost soft.
"Five." she tells him and his eyes close.
His tongue briefly comes out to lick his lips. "How long ago?"
"I don't know. Five hours, maybe more."
He nods and opens back his eyes. His hand let go of his sword and he force himself to sit. Karin looks at him and he's not fully healed. She grips his zipped and brings it down; Sasuke says nothing and remove his shirt. Karin's hands are wondering on his ribs, she's pushing her and there. Sasuke don't know what she is really doing, he never understood medical exam well and he never cared. He looks at her face at she bits her lips, pressing somewhere that is making him tense because of the pain. She stops there for an instant, her finger tapping on his skin. She looks up at him and continues her examination.
Sasuke says nothing until she's over. When she is, their eyes meet again. She tells him that he is not fully healed yet, thing that he already knew, and that he still have a broken rib. Karin training as a medic is more than partial. All that she knows, it's what she learned during the experiment she helped with, the bits Kabuto bothered to tell her and what she have read late at night out of boredom. But she knows that there is more, she is feeling it. Sasuke is not all okay. She does not know what is the problem, but she doesn't need to to fix it.
And she tells him, because Karin does not fear to show her weakness, lack of knowledge, in front of Sasuke. And she can't afford vanity right now. He says nothing and stares at her. She takes his hand and brings it to the collar of her shirt. He takes the zipper down and helps her remove her shirt. He removes her shirt and she moves closer.
They had done that countless time; it was just like eating in the morning to them. But this time it was a bit different because there was no sense of danger, Sasuke's life was not on the line anymore and there was no enemy menacing them from not far. He really took notice of the closeness such a thing was engaging, the way they were positioning their bodies out of habitude. Every breath she was taking was echoing into him, her red hairs were tickling his nose as he lowered his face to her neck.
This time was different because she is gripping on his shoulders when he bites down. He bites down and sucks the chakra out, her scream echoing into the nothingness they were in, between the countless cubes. She screams and Sasuke is really hearing it for the first time. The first time because he never really taught about it, he always had others thing to mind.
It's different because he needs less and takes less. Because they don't need to hurry. It's embarrassing because they're very close and half naked. It's not the first time they're ending up in a similar situation, only Orochimaru's hungry yellow eyes are not watching anymore. Karin's head falls to Sasuke's shoulder and she is taking in deep breaths.
She is taking deep breaths and her hairs are falling to the side. Sasuke sees her bruised back and he remembers. He remembers that he is numb and that numb is always worse than bad. And he can't feel bad, he tries but he does not.
He does not and he is sorry. And sorry is better than numb.
A/N: The good news is that I managed to stop the porn. Oh, wait. Is it bad? I hope not because I'm proud of myself.
