Tally Board
"Hey, CJ, I bet I could kick your butt."
"For Heaven's sakes, Josh, where did you get that from?"
"I was just thinking...I bet I could."
"Josh, you can't even control Donna..."
"Now that's not very fair..."
"Well neither are you..."
**A Pause**
"You couldn't kick my butt."
"Yes, I could, CJ."
"Josh, you wouldn't be able to lay so much as a finger on me before I throw you on the ground."
"Couldn't you atleast take me out to dinner before the intimate stuff?"
"Very funny."
**LATER ON**
"Hi Josh, what's up?"
"Sam! Just the guy I need to talk to!"
"I don't owe you money, do I?"
"Oh, no, no, of course not..."
"Wait...you don't owe ME money?"
"Noooo..."
"Then what?"
"Well...Couldn't I kick CJ's butt?"
"In what?"
"Anything and everything..."
"Josh..."
"Seriously!"
"What's this about?"
"Well CJ and I are asking everyone who they think would win in a fight..."
"CJ would drill you badly if it was verbal..."
"I'm not done yet..."
"Alright! Sorry!"
"Better be. Anways...whoever wins has to scrub the whole press briefing room with a toothbrush, and the winner gets to tape them. The bet ends at one o'clock, which gives me about two hours."
"Ouch- that sucks..the scrubbing part."
"For her, though, right?"
"Um..."
"Sam, you are backing me up, right?!"
"Josh..."
"SAM! I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND!"
"She could hurt me really bad..."
"Sam, hello, it's about ME and CJ...not YOU and CJ!"
"Either way..."
"Sam! C'mon! I gotta get to Toby before CJ does!"
"Too late...she is talking with him in the hall."
"WHAT?!?"
"Sorry, Josh."
"Just answer my question!"
"What was it again?"
"Sam!!!"
"Ok, ok...you...no...yeah...no..."
"Sam!"
"Alright, you would!"
"Ha ha ha! Yes! Score one for the Josh-man!"
"Dear Lord..."
**ELSEWHERE**
"So lemme get this straight...you and Josh are having this bet thing on who would kick who's butt...and whoever loses has to scrub out the briefing room with a toothbrush?"
"And I get to tape him doing it..."
"Who says you are going to win?"
"Toby, these things are given."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Ok."
"So...?"
"So what?"
"WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?!?!"
"Oh, yeah. You would."
"Really?"
"Of course..."
"I'm flattered."
"I love a girl who enjoys those kind of compliments."
"I'll have to repay you somehow."
"Take me out to dinner and then take me home with you."
"Goodbye, Toby."
"What? What did I say?"
**IN LEO'S OFFICE**
"Well, so far the score is one to one."
"Who had enough guts to vote against CJ?"
"Sam."
"Dead man walking..."
"Not if I win!"
"You won't."
"I take that as a vote for CJ."
"Well..."
"C'mon, Leo! You're like my brother! She's....a woman!"
"Good find, Sherlock."
"Leo..."
"Josh."
"GRRR! This is sooo frusturating!"
"Then why did you challenge her?"
"Caffene high?"
"Ah, happens to the best of us."
"But I WILL win..."
"Ha.."
"Leo, please!"
"You are so childish."
"But...I have to beat her!"
"I fear the day I become sick and you have to take over."
"Please?"
"Ok, ok, I'll play this stupid game."
"Good."
"Put me down as a vote for CJ."
"LEO!"
"Josh, she'd kick your butt."
**OUTSIDE THE OVAL OFFICE**
"What is that?"
"It's a tally board."
"For what, may I ask?"
"Me and CJ's bet."
"Oh, I heard about that."
"What's your input?"
"I see she is winning."
"By one!"
"She is still winning."
"Charlie..."
"Just saying it as it is."
"Can I have your input?""Is there anyway I can stay out of this?"
"No."
"Ok."
Long Pause
"Can I have it?"
"Now?"
"No, tomorrow, Charlie...of course now!"
"Oh, sorry, Josh."
"Well...???"
"Well, you got to me first, so put me down as a vote for you."
*Josh makes a tally under his name*
"Ahhh...yes...thank you, Charlie."
"Yeah, now I am gonna leave before I have to explain to CJ what I did."
"Good idea."
*CHARLIE IS WALKING DOWN THE HALL*
"Charlie!"
"Oh, crud..."
"Thanks, nice to see you, too."
"What do you want, CJ?"
"Well aren't we just Mr. Happy-Pants today?"
"Does this have anything to do with the tally board?"
"Actually...yes."
"Goodbye, CJ."
"Wait!"
*sigh* "Yes?"
"I don't understand your reason."
"My...what?"
"Because he got to you first?"
"CJ..."
"That's pathetic, Charlie."
"CJ, taking this thing seriously is pathetic."
"I am not letting Josh Lyman beat me in this."
"Score's tied."
"Not if you take back your vote."
"Are you going to do this to Sam, too?"
"Maybe..."
"Well, why not definately?"
" 'Cause Sam had a reasonable excuse..."
"Which was..."
"They're best friends."
"Oh, that's a good one."
*checks watch* "Well, Charlie, I have places to go, but thanks for changing your vote."
"Who said I was changing?"
"Me."
"How do you know?"
"Because, Charlie, I know you would come to your senses."
"How?"
"Simple."
"What?"
"You love me much more than you love Josh."
*sarcastic* "Yeah, CJ, that's it."
"You also think I am a lot better looking."
"You're also a woman..."
"My point exactly."
**EVEN LATER**
"CJ, isn't this a bit foolish?"
"Dr. Bartlet, it is just a harmless contest."
"Well I know how you and Josh get sometimes when you are competing for something..."
"This is different, ma'am."
"We all know who would win."
"Thank you, ma'am."
"I didn't mean you, CJ."
"Beg your pardon, ma'am?"
"What I meant to say was...everyone knows you WOULD win."
"Soo...that's why you'd pick Josh?"
"Exactly."
"But if you vote for him...we'd be tied!"
"CJ, it wouldn't be fun to blow him out of the water."
"Yes, ma'am, it would."
"CJ, feel sorry for him..."
"This isn't happening..."
"CJ, relax...the guy has to get SOME votes...I am doing this out of pity, really."
"I can't believe it..."
"CJ..."
"I was in the lead..."
*sigh*"Alright, CJ, alright...just keep me out of this. The last thing I need is you and Josh on my back, asking who could beat who up."
"Thank you, ma'am!"
"Why the smile?"
"Nothing, ma'am."
"Ah, I think I know...minus one vote for Josh, right?"
"Exactly, ma'am."
*ONCE CJ LEAVES, FLOTUS PICKS UP THE PHONE* "Josh? This is Dr. Bartlet. Yes, everything is fine. Listen...put me down as a vote for you. No, don't tell CJ."
**NEAR JOSH'S OFFICE**
"Here you go, Donna."
"Josh, they're....they're beautiful! What's the occasion?"
"Um...you are just a wonderful assistent."
"Why...why thank you! I have not seen these color lilacs since I was a little girl!"
"Heh...what can I say?"
"Waaaaaaaaait..."
"What? What's the matter?"
"Does this have something to do with my vote."
"Your...what?"
"My vote for you and CJ's little bet."
"What? No!"
"Riiiiiight. Well, you didn't have to, Joshua. I would have voted for you anyway."
"Really?"
"Of course! You're my boss!"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Thank-you-Donna!"
"Where are you going?"
"To mark a tally!"
"A what?"
*yells behind him* "A tally!"
*mumbles to herself* "Whatever..."
**AT THE TALLY BOARD...NEAR TOBY AND SAM'S OFFICE**
"And Josh Lyman takes the lead!"
**Sam looks up from his work** "Not quite, Josh."
"What are you talking about, Sam?"
"Look a little harder."
"Ok....there's the vote from you, the vote from Donna, here's the First Lady's, and...hey! Why is Charlie's name whited-out?"
"He changed his mind."
"WHAT?!"
"He did."
"Traitor!"
"I think CJ had a talk with him..."
"Sam, I just spent 30 dollars on Donna to get in the lead."
"Yeah...too bad CJ doesn't have to spend money to charm people."
"Shut up."
"Well, you can still win."
"I'll get Toby to convert!!"
"Good luck, CJ has him totally."
"True...who's left to get votes from?"
"The president?"
"That's it?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Shoot."
"Sorry."
"Well I guess a tie isn't too bad."
"Too bad that isn't gonna happen!"
"CJ! Where'd you come from? And...hey! What are you doing to the board?"
"I just got a vote, Joshua."
"From who?"
"Carol."
"She's you assistent! That's cheating!"
"What do you call Donna?"
"She's different..."
"Oh...and how so?"
"Oh, well, see, I'd tell you...but then I'd have to kill you."
"Oh, well, see, according to this board, you wouldn't be able to."
"Ohhhhhh...deeeeeeeeebo."
"Shut up, Sam, get back to work."
"Yes, Toby...er...I mean...Josh."
"CJ, you won't be winning for long."
"And why's that, Josh?"
"I am gonna go talk to Ginger or Ainsley....I'll win either of 'em over."
"You can't."
"Of course I can."
"No...you cannot, Joshua."
"Why not?"
"Because it is 1:08...deadline's past."
"Shoot. But, hey! How do we know Carol's vote was within the time limits?"
"Because CJ came into the room at 1:05, and it takes about 3 minutes to walk from her office to yours."
"For the third time, Sam, shut up, no one asked you."
"Actually, Josh, you did ask me."
"Soo...this means I won?"
"The only reason you won is because you're the female version of the Jolly Green Giant."
"No...cuz I am not that jolly, and I sure am not green. You are though...green with ENVY!"
"You know what, CJ? No matter what you say, no matter what you do, you'll always be a paranoid-shieksta-Berkly-feminist."
"Thank you, Joshua. Just as you'll always be a facist-Harvard-missed-the- Dean's-list-twice-Harvard-jack@$$."
"I love you, CJ."
"Wish I could say the same for you, Joshua."
"That was harsh."
"I was kidding."
"I know."
"Now, c'mon. There's a certain briefing room that needs to be washed."
"Excitement flows through my veins."
"Wait! Let me get the camera. This oughta be good..."
THE END
"Hey, CJ, I bet I could kick your butt."
"For Heaven's sakes, Josh, where did you get that from?"
"I was just thinking...I bet I could."
"Josh, you can't even control Donna..."
"Now that's not very fair..."
"Well neither are you..."
**A Pause**
"You couldn't kick my butt."
"Yes, I could, CJ."
"Josh, you wouldn't be able to lay so much as a finger on me before I throw you on the ground."
"Couldn't you atleast take me out to dinner before the intimate stuff?"
"Very funny."
**LATER ON**
"Hi Josh, what's up?"
"Sam! Just the guy I need to talk to!"
"I don't owe you money, do I?"
"Oh, no, no, of course not..."
"Wait...you don't owe ME money?"
"Noooo..."
"Then what?"
"Well...Couldn't I kick CJ's butt?"
"In what?"
"Anything and everything..."
"Josh..."
"Seriously!"
"What's this about?"
"Well CJ and I are asking everyone who they think would win in a fight..."
"CJ would drill you badly if it was verbal..."
"I'm not done yet..."
"Alright! Sorry!"
"Better be. Anways...whoever wins has to scrub the whole press briefing room with a toothbrush, and the winner gets to tape them. The bet ends at one o'clock, which gives me about two hours."
"Ouch- that sucks..the scrubbing part."
"For her, though, right?"
"Um..."
"Sam, you are backing me up, right?!"
"Josh..."
"SAM! I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND!"
"She could hurt me really bad..."
"Sam, hello, it's about ME and CJ...not YOU and CJ!"
"Either way..."
"Sam! C'mon! I gotta get to Toby before CJ does!"
"Too late...she is talking with him in the hall."
"WHAT?!?"
"Sorry, Josh."
"Just answer my question!"
"What was it again?"
"Sam!!!"
"Ok, ok...you...no...yeah...no..."
"Sam!"
"Alright, you would!"
"Ha ha ha! Yes! Score one for the Josh-man!"
"Dear Lord..."
**ELSEWHERE**
"So lemme get this straight...you and Josh are having this bet thing on who would kick who's butt...and whoever loses has to scrub out the briefing room with a toothbrush?"
"And I get to tape him doing it..."
"Who says you are going to win?"
"Toby, these things are given."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Ok."
"So...?"
"So what?"
"WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN?!?!"
"Oh, yeah. You would."
"Really?"
"Of course..."
"I'm flattered."
"I love a girl who enjoys those kind of compliments."
"I'll have to repay you somehow."
"Take me out to dinner and then take me home with you."
"Goodbye, Toby."
"What? What did I say?"
**IN LEO'S OFFICE**
"Well, so far the score is one to one."
"Who had enough guts to vote against CJ?"
"Sam."
"Dead man walking..."
"Not if I win!"
"You won't."
"I take that as a vote for CJ."
"Well..."
"C'mon, Leo! You're like my brother! She's....a woman!"
"Good find, Sherlock."
"Leo..."
"Josh."
"GRRR! This is sooo frusturating!"
"Then why did you challenge her?"
"Caffene high?"
"Ah, happens to the best of us."
"But I WILL win..."
"Ha.."
"Leo, please!"
"You are so childish."
"But...I have to beat her!"
"I fear the day I become sick and you have to take over."
"Please?"
"Ok, ok, I'll play this stupid game."
"Good."
"Put me down as a vote for CJ."
"LEO!"
"Josh, she'd kick your butt."
**OUTSIDE THE OVAL OFFICE**
"What is that?"
"It's a tally board."
"For what, may I ask?"
"Me and CJ's bet."
"Oh, I heard about that."
"What's your input?"
"I see she is winning."
"By one!"
"She is still winning."
"Charlie..."
"Just saying it as it is."
"Can I have your input?""Is there anyway I can stay out of this?"
"No."
"Ok."
Long Pause
"Can I have it?"
"Now?"
"No, tomorrow, Charlie...of course now!"
"Oh, sorry, Josh."
"Well...???"
"Well, you got to me first, so put me down as a vote for you."
*Josh makes a tally under his name*
"Ahhh...yes...thank you, Charlie."
"Yeah, now I am gonna leave before I have to explain to CJ what I did."
"Good idea."
*CHARLIE IS WALKING DOWN THE HALL*
"Charlie!"
"Oh, crud..."
"Thanks, nice to see you, too."
"What do you want, CJ?"
"Well aren't we just Mr. Happy-Pants today?"
"Does this have anything to do with the tally board?"
"Actually...yes."
"Goodbye, CJ."
"Wait!"
*sigh* "Yes?"
"I don't understand your reason."
"My...what?"
"Because he got to you first?"
"CJ..."
"That's pathetic, Charlie."
"CJ, taking this thing seriously is pathetic."
"I am not letting Josh Lyman beat me in this."
"Score's tied."
"Not if you take back your vote."
"Are you going to do this to Sam, too?"
"Maybe..."
"Well, why not definately?"
" 'Cause Sam had a reasonable excuse..."
"Which was..."
"They're best friends."
"Oh, that's a good one."
*checks watch* "Well, Charlie, I have places to go, but thanks for changing your vote."
"Who said I was changing?"
"Me."
"How do you know?"
"Because, Charlie, I know you would come to your senses."
"How?"
"Simple."
"What?"
"You love me much more than you love Josh."
*sarcastic* "Yeah, CJ, that's it."
"You also think I am a lot better looking."
"You're also a woman..."
"My point exactly."
**EVEN LATER**
"CJ, isn't this a bit foolish?"
"Dr. Bartlet, it is just a harmless contest."
"Well I know how you and Josh get sometimes when you are competing for something..."
"This is different, ma'am."
"We all know who would win."
"Thank you, ma'am."
"I didn't mean you, CJ."
"Beg your pardon, ma'am?"
"What I meant to say was...everyone knows you WOULD win."
"Soo...that's why you'd pick Josh?"
"Exactly."
"But if you vote for him...we'd be tied!"
"CJ, it wouldn't be fun to blow him out of the water."
"Yes, ma'am, it would."
"CJ, feel sorry for him..."
"This isn't happening..."
"CJ, relax...the guy has to get SOME votes...I am doing this out of pity, really."
"I can't believe it..."
"CJ..."
"I was in the lead..."
*sigh*"Alright, CJ, alright...just keep me out of this. The last thing I need is you and Josh on my back, asking who could beat who up."
"Thank you, ma'am!"
"Why the smile?"
"Nothing, ma'am."
"Ah, I think I know...minus one vote for Josh, right?"
"Exactly, ma'am."
*ONCE CJ LEAVES, FLOTUS PICKS UP THE PHONE* "Josh? This is Dr. Bartlet. Yes, everything is fine. Listen...put me down as a vote for you. No, don't tell CJ."
**NEAR JOSH'S OFFICE**
"Here you go, Donna."
"Josh, they're....they're beautiful! What's the occasion?"
"Um...you are just a wonderful assistent."
"Why...why thank you! I have not seen these color lilacs since I was a little girl!"
"Heh...what can I say?"
"Waaaaaaaaait..."
"What? What's the matter?"
"Does this have something to do with my vote."
"Your...what?"
"My vote for you and CJ's little bet."
"What? No!"
"Riiiiiight. Well, you didn't have to, Joshua. I would have voted for you anyway."
"Really?"
"Of course! You're my boss!"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! Thank-you-Donna!"
"Where are you going?"
"To mark a tally!"
"A what?"
*yells behind him* "A tally!"
*mumbles to herself* "Whatever..."
**AT THE TALLY BOARD...NEAR TOBY AND SAM'S OFFICE**
"And Josh Lyman takes the lead!"
**Sam looks up from his work** "Not quite, Josh."
"What are you talking about, Sam?"
"Look a little harder."
"Ok....there's the vote from you, the vote from Donna, here's the First Lady's, and...hey! Why is Charlie's name whited-out?"
"He changed his mind."
"WHAT?!"
"He did."
"Traitor!"
"I think CJ had a talk with him..."
"Sam, I just spent 30 dollars on Donna to get in the lead."
"Yeah...too bad CJ doesn't have to spend money to charm people."
"Shut up."
"Well, you can still win."
"I'll get Toby to convert!!"
"Good luck, CJ has him totally."
"True...who's left to get votes from?"
"The president?"
"That's it?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Shoot."
"Sorry."
"Well I guess a tie isn't too bad."
"Too bad that isn't gonna happen!"
"CJ! Where'd you come from? And...hey! What are you doing to the board?"
"I just got a vote, Joshua."
"From who?"
"Carol."
"She's you assistent! That's cheating!"
"What do you call Donna?"
"She's different..."
"Oh...and how so?"
"Oh, well, see, I'd tell you...but then I'd have to kill you."
"Oh, well, see, according to this board, you wouldn't be able to."
"Ohhhhhh...deeeeeeeeebo."
"Shut up, Sam, get back to work."
"Yes, Toby...er...I mean...Josh."
"CJ, you won't be winning for long."
"And why's that, Josh?"
"I am gonna go talk to Ginger or Ainsley....I'll win either of 'em over."
"You can't."
"Of course I can."
"No...you cannot, Joshua."
"Why not?"
"Because it is 1:08...deadline's past."
"Shoot. But, hey! How do we know Carol's vote was within the time limits?"
"Because CJ came into the room at 1:05, and it takes about 3 minutes to walk from her office to yours."
"For the third time, Sam, shut up, no one asked you."
"Actually, Josh, you did ask me."
"Soo...this means I won?"
"The only reason you won is because you're the female version of the Jolly Green Giant."
"No...cuz I am not that jolly, and I sure am not green. You are though...green with ENVY!"
"You know what, CJ? No matter what you say, no matter what you do, you'll always be a paranoid-shieksta-Berkly-feminist."
"Thank you, Joshua. Just as you'll always be a facist-Harvard-missed-the- Dean's-list-twice-Harvard-jack@$$."
"I love you, CJ."
"Wish I could say the same for you, Joshua."
"That was harsh."
"I was kidding."
"I know."
"Now, c'mon. There's a certain briefing room that needs to be washed."
"Excitement flows through my veins."
"Wait! Let me get the camera. This oughta be good..."
THE END