A/N: So yeah. This is obviously my first post. It's a song fic (Yes, I am that ballsy to do a songfic for my first story. Feel free to throw things at me. :] ) to Ingrid Michaelson's "Keep Breathing". I kinda feel like it has a story around it though...so I guess I'll be tinkering with that idea. Reviews and feedback would be awesome! Thanks!
Disclaimer: I will not, or ever, be the owner of Avatar. And Ingrid Michaelson's music. I am in fact the owner of all the depressing plot bunnies in my brain.
Keep Breathing
If the thunder hadn't woken her up, the shrieks outside would've. Katara bolted upright in her bed. A deafening crash shook the house to its core.
Katara breathed a sigh of relief and tried to slow down her frantically beating heart. She got up and pulled on a warmer robe: the storm had caused a significant drop in Ba Sing Se's normally mild temperature.
Frankly, the rain had never bothered her; it was like a constant lullaby, coaxing her to sleep.
"A storm is coming but I don't mind."
Lightning and thunder on the other hand, scared the waterbender every time she heard it. Thunder storms were something she hadn't grown up with and was still getting used to. White light flashed through the thin curtains. Upon closer inspection, Katara noticed patches of orange-y yellow light leaking through as well. It was almost alive, dancing vividly through the translucent material. What is that? She wondered.
Then it hit her.
"Fire," she whispered.
As she crossed her room to her window facing the street, she heard the faint soprano shrills of women and bellows of deep bass from very angered men. Katara ripped the curtain aside and looked at the atrocity below her. A riot had broken out and utter chaos flooded the streets of the Middle Ring section of the city.
She sighed remorsefully. Even after months of peace-making and time to heal, the world still wasn't safe.
Disgusted and completely overwhelmed by the sight, Katara pushed the drape back to its original place and walked away.
"People are dying, I close my blinds."
She sat at the edge of her bed, battling with herself internally.
A part of her wanted to just crawl back into bed and forget this ever happened. Let sleep consume her and wake up and have everything back to normal.
A more familiar and rational side was yelling at her to put her boots on and try to resolve the issue. Just like old times.
Heroic Katara quickly won and within minutes, she was out the front door, water sacks strapped around her waist.
She ran straight into the chaotic oblivion yelling at people to settle down. She pulled angered men off of women. Off of other men. Off of children. Most pushed her aside or paid her no mind.
Most.
After twenty minutes of futile attempts, Katara was stopped dead in her tracks by a large figure in her way. The man in front of her towered above her and laughed spitefully at her suggestion to go back inside.
As if the humiliation wasn't enough, he replied, "Trying to keep the peace like last time?" He laughed again. "Well, good luck. I don't see your Avatar around anywhere. Is he gone? Did all that saving the world make him forget about you?"
Katara didn't reply. Actually, she couldn't reply. Her mind shut down, and nothing was processed. All except the man's final harsh laugh was silent as her breakdown ensued.
Unthinkingly, she pushed back through the crowd and blindly found her way back to the house. Katara managed to blink back tears long enough to unlatch the door and slip inside.
Once in, she fell to pieces. Pressed against the back wall, she slid down to a crumpled heap on the floor.
"Aang…Aang…" she bawled into her arms. " I know you don't care, but please come back. I need you."
Her lungs collapsed and she heaved forward from lack of oxygen. Trying to soothe herself as much as possible, she focused on breathing her jagged breaths. In, out.
"All that I know is I'm breathing now."
* * *
In the room next door, Toph lied awake, listening to the action outside.
"Toph the Fearless. Toph: The Ultimate Earthbender. The Epic-ness that is Toph," she ranted to no one in particular.
She took the pillow out from underneath her head and screamed into it fiercely. Tears pricked up in the corners of her eyes.
"All the things I could have been…but all I am is Toph the Heartbroken," she finished, voice cracking at the end.
Right outside, people were getting hurt, possibly dying. She should be out there fixing things. She had just assisted in taking down an entire fleet of airships that planned on destroying the world. How hard was it to squelch a miniscule uprising? All the things she could do…she rolled onto her stomach, forcing her eyes to stay shut.
"I want to change the world, instead, I sleep."
Loneliness was not an emotion she took very well. Sure, she didn't have friends growing up, but since joining the "gaang", she didn't understand how she survived before them. Especially without one particular water tribe boy. After Sokka unknowingly ripped her heart into unrecognizable shreds, she had been a silent mess. Toph held her head high during the day, but nights were horribly long without anyone there to force her to fake a tough exterior.
Her memories of him kept her going, a trick she had learned from being around Katara She agreed that the past was the only place she could still remember him as she always wanted him to be. Toph couldn't believe how alike the two had truly been until cruel heartbreak consumed them both. Though Toph wasn't as openly depressed as Katara, that didn't mean she hurt any less. If anything, she was in even more pain. Bottling up her feelings was eating her alive. She couldn't even get herself out of bed if she didn't lie to herself muttering "He's coming back for you. Today is the day he'll realize he needs you."
"I want to believe in more than you and me."
She thought of the final words he had said to her; "Everything's going to be different now. We all will be going our separate ways. Aang will go off to his Avatar-ly ways and Katara will go back home. Suki and I will someday get married, I suppose. And you…you just keep on keeping on. I'll visit you, 'kay?"
How romantic. It wasn't Sokka's fault really so much as hers. After all, she was the one who never made her feelings known. Okay, so maybe Katara knew she always liked him, but she was nosy and knew everything. Toph understood that subtle hints were never really picked up by Sokka, but what was she supposed to do? Throw herself at him? Never. That wasn't her style. Sokka had to love her for her. Nothing less.
"Life just isn't fair…" Toph gasped through shaky sobs.
What did she have? Her family still treated her like the defenseless child they always thought they had. Aang, one of her best friends, had disappeared and left Katara in a turbulent state. And Sokka…she shook her head, as if to stop the thought from continuing. It was time to focus on the positives.
She had herself. These breaths were all hers. No one could ever take them away.
"All that I know is I'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing."
A slight wrap on the door interrupted her.
"…Toph?" a very congested sounding Katara whispered.
"I'm awake," she whipped herself in the direction of the voice. She heard Katara softly enter her room. She was quiet for a few awkward moments. Toph cleared her throat and straightened up, placing her feet of the floor. Ah, sight. Katara's shoulders were hunched over, arms wrapped tightly around her torso, almost as if she was trying to keep her self from breaking apart. She was absolutely soaked through. What was she doing, going for a early morning walk….in a torrential downpour? she thought.
"So, uh, what's up, Sugar Queen? It has to be, like, 3 A.M."
She felt Katara search her face for something unknown. After a few moments, she looked away, unsatisfied. How awkward.
"Well, there's kind of a riot outside, incase you didn't notice.
"Oh, I did. I'm blind, not oblivious."
Katara shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.
" I know this sounds really weird, and I know you'll be totally opposed to the idea, but I figured I'd just go for it and ask anwa-"
"Spit it out," Toph interrupted.
She sighed in defeat. "Do you mind if I sleep in here tonight?"
Toph inhaled sharply. She listened carefully to Katara's uneasy and almost forced breathing. She had been through a lot tonight.
Her own short intakes intertwined with Katara that created a remorseful symphony.
"All we can do is keep breathing."
"Of course. I'll scoot over."
Toph moved to the other side of the queen sized bed as Katara climbed in.
"Thanks."
Katara laid down, choking on a few sobs stuck in her throat.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Toph questioned, already knowing the answer.
"No," she replied flatly. "Are you going to tell me why you're crying?" she continued.
Toph's hands shot up impulsively to her face and she felt the hot droplets of water flowing from her sightless eyes. Oh. That's was she was looking at before, she thought.
'Never," she managed.
Katara sniffled and Toph's weeps broke loose. Soon enough, both of the girls were crying, consoling each other with more tears.
Nothing but the air around them mattered. They continued to take in the horribly painful gift of life as their laments carried on through the morning.
"All we can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing."
Breathing was one of the hardest things for the two to do when nothing was left. It was more complex than just inhaling and exhaling; it was a choice of life or death. Death was easy, almost cowardly. The two kept breathing, knowing that some how the air would repay them soon enough. Hopefully.
"All we can do is keep breathing, now."