AN: I don't own The Hobbit… I couldn't make a wonderful world like that even if I wanted to…
~Love You Like a Love Song ~
Stranger
Chapter 1
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Turn around, turn around and fix your eye in my direction so there is a connection
I can't speak I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
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Tauriel POV
It's been years since I last saw Kili. I made him promise not to call, not to write. I didn't even want to hear what his last words were before he left, nor was I able to forget just how much pain was reflected back in his eyes as soon as we parted.
Six years it has been. It felt like sixty years, yet I was still young and living, while everyone else started to move on forward, whilst I was stuck in the past…
I was stuck with memories of Kili.
Does he remember all those times we shared together during that one blissful summer? Has he found someone to love and cherish after that? Or was he like me? Waiting for the right time, for courage to face each other once again despite the differences and quarrels between the two of us?
"Tauriel." I blinked and saw Arwen looking at me worriedly, "Are you alright?" she asked me, her voice soft and filled with concern. I gave her a smile and nodded my head in assurance, but her gaze flickered down to my hands, where I now clutch a familiar smooth stone with runes I could not read. "You miss him." She stated and suddenly looked guilty…
To which she shouldn't have to, so I decide to interrupt as she started an apology by holding up my hand, stone still clutched on my right hand between my palm and thumb, "No need to apologize Arwen, I volunteered to be here, joining you in looking for your wedding dress." I reassured and she looked at me with sympathy.
"I just had hoped you would have at least moved on by now." She admitted, "Why not give chance to Legolas?" she asked as she did with these past six years. And why not indeed? Legolas was a good man, I've been friends with him ever since I was a babe, he and I know each other too well, and we both love each other…
Only I don't love him like the way he does. And maybe that was why. I never would, not when my thoughts and dreams are plagued by a certain dark haired lad, with the most adorable brown eyes I had ever laid upon.
"I can't." I finally answered, "It doesn't feel right." I mumble, mostly to myself and Arwen bit her lower lip, as if to prevent saying something. I narrow my eyes at her, "What?" I ask a bit too harshly. I don't mean to, but I can't help myself getting defensive about my feelings around Kili, or generally anything about Kili at all.
"Nothing." She said suddenly looking at the choices of wedding dresses intently than she did before, but when I didn't relent in staring at her with equal intensity she finally let out a sigh of defeat, "I just think you're waiting for nothing."
"Like with you and Aragorn?" I asked, my temper still annoyed at her thinking my love was hopeless. It's not fair. Kili and I were in love, young and reckless we may be, but our hearts were true. Just as Arwen and Aragorn, except, they are now going to get married, while Kili remains unreachable to me.
"Tauriel, Kili is-" she paused, trying to choose her words carefully, "-might not be the same person you knew six years ago." She finished off slowly, and I snorted, sorting through my own brochure or wedding gowns to pick out for Arwen…
"So? I might not be the same person he knew as well." I answer her back, not really caring either way. Of course things will change! It's been six years, with no contact or anything at all! And somehow, I always did regret making him promise such things…
"Promise me Kili." I whispered to him, his breath brushing against my lips after we had just kissed each other for the last time, "Don't call, don't write, don't say what it is you want to say right now… not when we're about to lose it all." I look at him, it was a mistake. All I can see is pain in it, and mine was starting to well up with tears…
"Tauriel…" he choked as our foreheads leaned against each other and he closed his eyes, composing himself before he began to speak up once more. When he opened his eyes once more, he just gave me the grin I always found so wonderful on him, "To accomplish that I would have to forget you entirely." He joked before his eyes turned serious once more, "Here." He placed something warm in my hand and smooth, before a car honked right behind him and suddenly, I find myself not wanting to let go, "Keep it." he said urgently, "As a promise." And I just nod at him, not trusting myself to speak…
"Tauriel." Legolas was behind me, and Kili pulled away and gave him a glare, "Come, we need to go now. Father will be looking for us." I gulped down my sorrow and close my eyes. I will not cry here, not while Kili is watching. Kili looked at me for a moment before I find myself pulling away from him, but he holds on…
"Kili!" the angry tone of his uncle calls out to him, and we both flinch, knowing just how bad it was to anger Thorin, "We're gonna be late! Say your goodbyes quick!"
"Give them time uncle!" hissed Fili, who was at the passenger seat, "Give them time."
"Time awaits no one Fili." Grumbled Thorin, "Now Kili! Or I'll drag you in here myself!"
"Go." I whisper, and he looks at me helplessly, I pull away abruptly and turn around. I couldn't bear myself to watch him walk away, only when I had heard the car drive away did I allow myself to look back and let myself cry as I see him gone.
I drop to my knees and let my tears fall. I look up and see a piece of handkerchief offered to me, and half-expected it to be from Legolas, when I looked further up and saw Thranduil, his father, my temporary guardian standing before me. I shook my head and gripped the grass until my knuckles turned white…
"If this is love I do not want it." I told him, and he remained silent, hand still offering, "Take it from me, please!" I pleaded and shut my eyes, hoping Kili would come back next summer, but the pain was too unbearable, especially when Thorin said he'd never return ever and took his nephews with him. "Why does it hurt so much?" I asked and crumpled to the ground, my face buried in my arms, when I felt strong arms haul me up to stand and hug me, wiping away my tears like the little girl I once was…
"Because it was real." He finished. And I looked up and him, before I returned his hug…
"If only you knew." Arwen finally said, so softly I almost missed it and looked at her sharply. Knew? Knew what? I was so lost between my last moments with Kili that I didn't realize I had stopped listening to Arwen…
"Knew what?" I finally asked, "Is there something wrong?" Arwen immediately shake her head once and flipped through the pages…
"What about this one?" she asked and pointed to a picture before I scrunched up my nose in disagreement, and she laughed, "You're right, way to heavy looking." She said and I nodded and looked at my own brochure…
"It probably is."
Kili POV
I hum to myself as I pack my bags, Gimli, my cousin, had invited me over to some town called Arda. I don't know why but my heart started to beat fast at the mention of the place, and I don't know whether it's from curiosity or from fear. Six years ago was difficult to forget after all, and I don't want another repeat of it, but Gimli assures me that he will be with me every step of the way, but I still don't like Legolas. He acts to high and mighty around me like he's some sort of prince, when he suddenly acts like he's a pleasant being around Gimli.
I snort. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was gay, sure thought at first he was a lady, pale complexion and high cheekbones and all that of course. I zip up my bag and set it down on the floor when my mam was already at the doorway, looking all too worried. I grinned at her and pulled her into a hug.
"Don't." she managed to choke out, hugging her arms around me so tight, and somehow I was thankful for it, for another voice rang through my head…
"Don't."
And the image of red hair and scent of herbs invade my none-too-many memories. "I'll be fine."
"But you're the only one I've got left." She finished, her eyes and nose red from all the crying and pleading and yelling these past few days. "I don't even have a stone to give to you this time." She finished off weakly, "I couldn't find your lucky charm." Right. I smile softly and hugged her one more time; after all, Gimli was already waiting down stairs for me. She believes that the rune stone, or so she calls it, had made me come back to her, allowing me to keep my promise.
But I know that rune stone was long gone from me.
"Hey, I'm your tough little boy!" I exclaimed and bumped my fist to my chest, "When have I never kept my word?" At that her eyes saddened all the more, and I remember why she was so scared. And I let out a sigh and kissed her temple, easily now, seeing as I had a massive growth spurt. My distant uncles had sworn I was taller than most of them already, probably the tallest of us all, seeing as all of them were relatively short. "I promise I'll come back." I reassured her and she glared at me and held up a finger…
"Make sure you hold onto that." She finally stepped aside and I pull my bag behind me and flashed an appreciative grin.
Arda.
I'm going to Arda.
Finally.
I had a smile on my face, a silly grin that I was so sure of until I had caught sight of Gimli's car and saw Legolas sitting at the passenger's seat. A scowled replaced that silly grin, and that long haired blondie had the audacity to smirk smugly at my distaste. At least Gimli seemed a bit embarrassed as he stood outside of his car to help me with my luggage. "Tried to tell him I'll be fine on my own, but the lad wouldn't have it. Insists he hasn't seen Ered Luin for quite some time and would want to know how much changed in a short time." Gimli explained and refused to look up at me, while I only narrowed my eyes at Legolas.
"And you're sure you just want to sight-see, and not annoy me?" I asked him in clear distaste and he arched a perfectly trimmed eyebrow, any more trimming and I'd swear he'd have none…
"I have better things to do than annoy those who can't reach as high as me." He replied coolly and stare right back at me, while I at him. I know even Legolas was aware of Gimli squirming right behind me, not sure how to break the tension…
Now that I think of it, Gimli does seem to make it a point we don't stay around each other for far too long. I'll have to commend his efforts, any longer time spent together and I might just cut that silky blonde hair of his just to spite him…
Not to mention I make it a point to bring scissors in my baggage.
"Let's get a move on, shall we?" Gimli suggested softly and hesitantly and I threw one more glare at Legolas…
"Yes, lets."
Arwen POV
I keep glancing at Tauriel, and I know, whatever is going to come, she's going to get hurt, no matter what. Six years she has waited, six years, she almost ran away to look for him, but something always kept her behind, here in Arda. I know who it was Gimli's going to bring along for the wedding, he told Legolas everything there was that I needed to know seeing as he came from Ered Luin as well, but I did not have the heart to tell Tauriel what really happened those six years ago…
Apparently, neither did Legolas.
And Gimli hadn't met Tauriel yet, but he will in this weekend's engagement party.
"You've been staring at me for the past few hours," Tauriel said, not looking up from her phone, intently typing messages and sending them before letting it back in her pocket and played with the rune stone once again, "What is it? What's wrong?" she asked and I shake my head…
I'll tell her, before she finds out in the worst possible way…
"It's nothing we can't discuss for later purposes." Tauriel gazed at me intently, and I know she knew I was hiding something, so I reached out to her hand and touched it, squeezing it slightly, "I just want you to know, I don't want you to get hurt."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, confusion in her face and I gave her a sad smile…
"Perhaps Legolas should be the one to tell you," I told her, "He knows the rest of the details."
"What about?"
"Six years ago."
Tauriel POV
Six years ago. Arwen was hesitant to tell me something. Was it about Kili? Did something happen to him? I shake my head as I lie down on my bed. The day has gone by quickly enough, ever since Arwen hinted at something being kept from me, something she thinks Legolas could explain better. I look at the window outside of my room, and I see stars, and the full moon shining so brightly. I got off the bed and took my seat by the windowsill and breathed in the night air, my memories overwhelming me once more…
"I always thought it was a cold light." Kili admitted to me as he stared at the night sky filled with countless stars, "Remote and far away." He finished and looked at me…
"It is memory!" I exclaim softly, "Precious, and pure, like your promise." I look down upon my hand and gave it to him, the stone he so proudly called a rune stone, which he took wordlessly and we both drifted off to silence once more. I was still pissed and angry at him, and I wasn't going to apologize first…
"Sorry." He mumbled and I looked at him, still weighing out his sincerity, "I didn't mean to cause you trouble, or pain." He added as he gestured to my sprained ankle. I just shrug, not wanting to let him know I was freezing out, I forgot to bring my jacket because I was too focused on getting even with him for the early trouble. "Here." He said and I look back to him to find him removing his own jacket and draped it over me, without waiting for my reply, "I doubt after that night dip you were still warm." He joked and grinned which ultimately made me laugh against my own will…
"Yes well, and whose fault was that?" Kili shrugged and I roll my eyes before he shot me another wide grin, which led me to fail at keeping my stoic mask and replied with a small smile, "Well, it doesn't matter now. I just have to wait to get dried up before going back. You can go on ahead." I tell him and he snorted…
"And leave a lovely lass such as yourself out here in the dark? Alone? Never." He said, "Like it or not, you're stuck with me."
"I guess like it or not," I whisper to the night, "You're far away from me." I leave the window and go back to bed after setting my alarm for my morning jog. As I drift off to sleep, I dreamt of dark locks and brown eyes, and a smile on my lips…
I didn't know how long I had been asleep, but my phone had buzzed repeatedly, and I knew someone was calling me. This time of night though? I look at the caller ID and smiled and picked it up, "Couldn't it wait 'til the morning?"
Kili POV
It's already dark, and I know the travel from Arda to Ered Luin is probably quite longer than I anticipated, but, I've been sitting in the vehicle for hours now, never mind the occasional break or two, messages from friends and family that I left back at home, and I'm getting sick of it. I dread the time I'd have to endure another ride like this back at home, and Legolas' choice of music is not helping at all, especially since he's sitting up front and has first dibs on the stereo. "Alright back there dwarf?" he asked me, probably sensing my gaze behind his blonde head…
"Oh yeah, having the time of my life," I reply, "Especially since I'm here lying on my back, getting ready to sleep." I brag, setting in comfortably at the back of the car, especially since I'm the sole occupant of the back seat. Of course, I have ill-timing since Gimli passed through a bump on the road, causing my head to hit the inside of the door. Legolas turned to me, eyebrows raised, and a smirk already making its way to those foul perfect lips pf his…
Not that I want to kiss it, ew.
"Sorry." Gimli mumbled, obviously trying to fight off sleep. Legolas shifted his gaze from me, then to Gimli, to which I was grateful for…
"I could drive." He said and Gimli let out a yawn and nodded, "Just pull over, somewhere up ahead."
"Sure you don't need any beauty sleep?" I tease him and he flickered his blue eyes back at me…
"Unlike some," he starts, "I don't really need one." I glare at him, knowing it was definitely an insult. I don't do beauty sleeps, but I'm far too tired to continue talking to him, and place my arm over my eyes to stop me from staring at the night sky scattered with starlight right outside the car's window. The car soon slows down and I hear opening and closing of doors twice from both sides of the car and know they've exchanged places. It didn't take long for Gimli's snores to start filing up the car, and I'm quite surprised to hear Legolas speak…
"What do you remember of Arda?" he asked, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking to Gimli.
"How'd you know I was awake?" I asked him relenting after staying silent for quite some time and sat up at the back of the car, he looked at me briefly at the rear view mirror before looking back on the road…
"You forget I know you." he said and I nod, familiar with him knowing me six years ago…
"A lot could have happened after six years."
"Habits aren't so easily changed." He remarks slightly, "Well?"
"Not much really." I tell him honestly, what else in Arda should I remember? As far as I know it was a large place with lots of different people, have great attractions and plenty of good-willed neighbors. Hills and mountain views, and the location of Erebor estate, an ancestral place of my mother's family, of Uncle Thorin's, but we haven't used it since six years ago. Not even Gimli who had moved there since a year ago, opting to live with Legolas, who was quite well-provided for, as he so brags…
"Anyone?" Legolas presses, a frown creases on his forehead, but not so much, his face is still as smooth as he does when he's smiling, or thinking, or just a plain poker face. Seriously, why is his face so perfect?! I shake my head and I don't think he notices me noting just how his fists clench at the steering wheel.
"Anyone I should be aware of?" I ask him curiously and he shots me a look of annoyance, to border-line frustration…
"What does your heart tell you?" he snaps at me…
Yes. "None." I tell him, even when my heart says otherwise. I just can't afford thoughts like that…
Not when it pains me to know just how much I've lost. And I lie back down, Legolas doesn't speak any further, and Gimli's snores are the only sounds I hear aside from the engine running and the pebbles of the road beneath the tires. This was probably the longest conversation yet where we weren't spitting insults at each other. I lie still for a while, until I notice Legolas had reached into his pocket and produced a phone. He quickly typed a number and placed it on his ear…
"Couldn't it wait 'til the morning?"
My heart started to pound as I hear the voice.
Legolas POV
This. Was. A. Very. Bad. Idea. There, I said it already. What was I thinking?! Suggesting Gimli to invite his cousin?! I have half a mind to strangle that little dwarf! Granted he did grow taller than I had expected, but I still towered over him. I should have told him when I have met him, if not, I should have told Tauriel. She deserves to know, especially after all these six years. She needed not to wait for this person. This wasn't the one she had been waiting for, and now what happens when they meet face to face?
I have to ask her to meet with me as soon as possible. Never mind how bad I think she'll take the news, but I shouldn't have withheld this news from her for so long. Even Arwen tried to tell me, but I was too afraid of breaking her heart…
"Couldn't it wait 'til the morning?" her voice tells me, a bit chiding even, and I can't help the small smile that makes it to my lips, "What is it mellon?" she asks, using the word we've invented for ourselves as friends.
"I want to tell you something." I finally say and I could tell she was sitting up from her bed. Did I disturb her sleep? I feel so guilty now, knowing she should have been asleep, but interrupting her sleep would be nothing if she knew what I knew, and am now bringing right towards her…
"Well? Say it already."
"Not on the phone." I say, "Besides, I probably disturbed you enough, held you from sleep."
"Nonsense." She tells, "Tell me."
"Tomorrow." I tell her, "When I arrive, meet me by Esgaroth's café, and there we will talk."
"What time would you arrive?"
"I don't know, probably around dawn. I just came from Ered Luin." I could hear her breath hitch from the other side of the phone, when I hear a soft snore at the back of the car. Had Kili been awake when I made the call? I know the phone wasn't on loud speaker, but phones nowadays don't need loudspeakers to hear what the other person on the other end of the line has to say, especially on a quiet night like this. He could have heard everything…
"Did you- Legolas I- Ered Luin?" she finally asks for confirmation and I nodded, despite knowing she couldn't see…
"Yes. Ered Luin."
"But isn't tha- is he- Legolas, mellon have you-?" I could hear the anticipation, the dread, the excitement, the anxiousness, all her emotions from her voice alone. Tauriel never left Arda, so she never knew, nor have seen anything else aside what our place have had to offer despite wanting to know how Kili had been.
"Yes Tauriel." I chanced a glance at the passengers in the car, and deemed them asleep enough, "It is about Kili."
"I shall await you."
"Until then." And the call ended. "Legolas, you great fool." I mutter to myself, because truly, I should have said it earlier. Spared them both this pain, this late…
After all, their story ended six years ago, they just needed closure.
Tauriel POV
Well after that phone call from Legolas, I couldn't possibly go back to sleep. Different scenarios started to plague my mind, Kili moving on, Kili being married, Kili moving farther away from me… just tons and tons of scenarios, and the worst yet, Kili admitting he never loved me, but that seemed just way too farfetched, especially when my heart tells me he couldn't have possibly faked all those emotions just for the sake of bragging to his friends the moment he's gone from my sight.
Dawn couldn't come any sooner, and as soon as my alarm went off, I silenced it and got ready for my morning jog. I put on my dark brown jogging pants and green jacket over my white shirt and turned the music on as I headed out of the house and ran, to clear my head.
How was Kili though? I don't know how he is, and I find myself wishing I'd see Legolas a lot sooner than expected. How much has he changed? That was my main concern. Would he recognize me? Would I even recognize him? Before I knew it, I was already nearing Esgaroth café, and I could feel myself gasping for much needed air. I didn't know I've been running that hard. I paused right in front of it to catch my breath, when I feel myself stop breathing as soon as I catch myself looking at the counter of the café…
His back was turned, but his dark curly hair caught my attention, also the way he shifted from one foot to another. He wore a black leather jacket and some jeans, with a chain hanging on the right side along with rubber shoes. He was looking intently at the list of drinks available by the café while Sigrid kept darting from the menu to him. She was uncomfortable; I could tell by the way she was biting her lower lip and her eyes met mine and she looked at me in shock…
Please let it be him. I so desperately want to see him once again, but I also dread the moment I realize it to be him, what do I do next? What could I say after six years?
Please turn. I want this suspense to be over with, but he doesn't turn, and I don't speak, or make any sound as soon as I finally reach behind him. I'm vaguely aware of my heart thumping wildly in my chest, as well as Sigrid's shifting stare from me and back to him…
Was this really Kili? I want to reach out, make him turn, but I'm afraid, I'm frozen on the ground. I find myself wanting to run away, so I take a step backward, ready to get out, when my breath hitches at the sound of my name from behind…
An urgent call…
"Tauriel."
Kili POV
We've arrived roughly a few minutes ago, and Gimli was off by the table sitting by himself as he checked his phone, while I went to order drinks and Legolas was off to be in the comfort room, probably freshening up or do some of his business for hygiene and all that. I greet the girl by the counter who seemed shocked, to say the least at seeing me. "Hi." I greeted and she seemed not to know what to say to me as she continued to stared, "Um, I'm Kili." I tell her and extended a hand and she blinks several times and takes my hand…
"Sigrid." She murmurs softly before a look of confusion settles on her face, "Kili…" she whispers my name in slight hesitance before clearing her throat, "Have you… been here before?" she asked slightly and I smile for a moment before shrugging…
"Not entirely sure." I reply honestly and look at the listed drinks and respective prices, "So which drink is wonderful for this fine morning?" I asked her and she quickly recovers from whatever thoughts she was having and started to endorse the best sellers and all, while I take a good look at her. She was a bit familiar. Golden hair, braided like a crown over her head, slight accent on her voice, she shifts her gaze expectantly at me, and I momentarily forgot why I was here in the first place…
To buy a drink.
I look up and read the coffee and latte available this early morning, not really able to pick out anything just yet. There so many things I want to try. I hear footsteps behind me, probably someone waiting to buy some coffee or something, so I better make a choice quickly but should I buy the Desolation of Smaug or Azog the Defiler? Funny names really, and they seem like they're truly going to be strong drinks. I hear a few move movements behind me, but the person doesn't make any noise, not even when I could practically feel their gaze burning a hole at the back of my head, but I ignore it, trying to see should I just buy one or both at the same time?
"Tauriel." I hear Legolas say, a slight alarm in his tone of voice, and I finally look behind me and see Legolas shift his gaze from the woman behind me and I. It was only then, when she turned back to face me did I feel like I just found something important, the way her green eyes met mine, those strands of red hair sticking at the sides of the face with sweat, her sharp features. "Kili." Legolas added and stepped between us, and she swallowed before breathing out my name…
"Kili." It was like a caress, the way she said it…
"Tauriel." I repeated, hearing the name Legolas called her. He said he was meeting a friend at the café, when Gimli and I decided to tag along. He was adamant to not let us go with him, but I insisted and was already walking ahead with Gimli when Legolas gave up and grumbled to himself, fingering his phone nervously. Was she his girlfriend? Hard to see why not since she's beautiful. "It's nice to meet you." I finally said, giving her a smile when her mouth opens slightly and stops the smile to form as she looks at me in confusion when her eyes dart from Legolas to me.
Oh no. This was a bad way to start off a friendship as I see her struggle to compose herself.
Please don't tell me she's one of those people.