Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song 'Malchik Gay' by t.A.T.u.
There's something really weird about Harry these days. I just can't put my finger on it! Everytime I look at him, there's something that's changed. I just know it! And I'm angry at myself because up until now I still don't know what it is. But I am SO not giving up on this one. Hermione Granger never gives up on a challenge. I'm determined to find out what's wrong with him, because… I uhm… Oh alright.
I'm in love with my bestfriend, happy now???
I've been in love with Harry since our third year here in Hogwarts. The moment when I put the Time Turner around our necks, being that close to him… I suddenly felt my heart beating really fast... At first I just dismissed it, but when we got chased by Remus and then Buckbeak saved us, Harry was there, hugging me tightly to assure me that I'll be safe and protected from all harm. From that moment on, I found myself madly in love with my bestfriend.
But by our fourth year, of course, I must admit that I really looked stunning at the Yule ball that time. When I was on the stairs, I could see everyone's attention on me. I could tell that every boy was already drooling. Come on, it's not like a good-goody Hermione can't change every once in a while! Anyway, Harry was there with Ron. He looked right at me. How I wished that time that he was my date, but Viktor was just so persistent, I didn't have the heart to refuse him anyway. Back to Harry! Well, Harry was looking at me as if he wanted to eat me or something. But, two things were confusing me. Was he looking at me because he wanted to snog me right then and there because I looked really beautiful? Or was it he was somewhat envious… of the uh... dress maybe? I don't know!!! Merlin, I'm just so confused!
I noticed something weird in Cedric Diggory too. I can tell that he's hiding something from everyone. Okay, don't think that I'm beginning to act like a stalker okay? It's just that, I have this 'feeling' for everyone, to put it simple; I can kind of tell if they're hiding something. Cedric was always the good guy, and the guy with good looks, but he's not my type. Anyway, Cedric always had this 'look'. He's like always worried and cautious of something. He was of course a good friend to Harry too, because when that filthy little Ferret, Malfoy made rude badges about Harry, and supporting Cedric, Cedric himself didn't wear one, I heard that he even told his friends to take them off, but they didn't listen to him anyway. He and Harry were part of the Triwizard Tournament. It was a great privilege to have joined it of course, but Harry got selected mysteriously. He didn't even put his name on the goblet! It really didn't matter that time since he can't back off, so he just joined. During the last part of the tournament, we were really happy because there was already a winner – Harry of course. But instead of seeing a happy and relieved Harry, his face was in big shock and dismay.
Cedric's body was lying on the ground, lifeless.
Harry was crying so hard. It was Vo-, I mean you-know-who's work again. Maybe this was why Cedric was acting kind of funny before. He knew what was coming, he sensed it himself maybe. Poor Cedric, he was such a big loss, not only to his family, but also to his friends and Hogwarts. We immediately brought Harry back to our common room. I talked to him, wanting to make sure that he's alright. He always shook his head in response.
"Cedric told me that he knew something bad was coming. This was it. Getting killed by Voldemort! Damn it! That's why I had that nasty feeling during the third task. Damn it, why didn't I even suspect that it was him?! Fuck!" I patted his back, wanting to make him know that it's not his fault. No one saw this coming, only Cedric himself, and Cedric being a good friend to everyone else, didn't let anyone know about his 'vibrations' for the fear that they might worry too much.
"I'll kill him. I'll make sure that I'll avenge Cedric's death!"
When everyone else left, I stayed because Harry might need someone to talk too. Take the frustration out of his chest so he could relax a little bit. He told me something. When the third task started, Cedric was just following him. He thought at that time that maybe it was there that Cedric would finally knock him unconscious and win the tournament, but instead, he told him that he was there to help him. He told him that he had this feeling that this would be the last game that he could ever play in his life. Harry thought that maybe Cedric was just fooling around to lighten up the mood, but said that Cedric's face was dead serious. He just shrugged and the both of them continued to find their way out of the maze. They were then separated with the roots that came from the ground. Harry was pulled back while Cedric got stuck trying to cut the strong branches. He kept calling Cedric's name. When he finally found him, he said that Viktor was facing him, pointing his wand directly at him. The last thing that Cedric told Harry was for him to take care of Cho. Harry said that it was too late to defend Cedric since Viktor already cast the killing curse on Cedric. Of course, Harry knew that Viktor was obviously under the Imperius curse, and he knew who cast it on him. Okay, okay that was it. And I think that he found more comfort in Ron, but hey, they are bestfriends too after all, right? Maybe I'm just being silly these days.
Okay in fifth year, I heard that he and Cho kissed. Some said the kiss was hot, which I'm wondering if they even saw it with their own eyes, while some said that Harry didn't seem to enjoy it at all. I really don't know what's with these girls! I really hate gossips since they're always so inaccurate... But I always wondered what it's like to kiss Harry...
It's always Harry, Harry, and HARRY! I can't concentrate whenever I study now. I can't stay still and have the topic stuck in my head for even five minutes! I can't even concentrate in reading my favorite book! What's wrong with me? Sure I'm falling for my bestfriend, but I think this has become some sort of a barrier between me and my responsibility as a student. But even so, I want to put Harry first now. Of course it's not like me to put something else first rather than prioritizing my studies.
In two days will be the Yule Ball, and I have a plan, but tonight, I will do something else first.
Tell me what you think of the first chapter, if you like it, then please give me a review. :)