A/N: Hi! I came up with idea a while back and thought, why not? I also wanted to let you guys know, I do not speak Latin so if my translation is off, blame Google translate. Anyway, here's the story!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters used in this story. They all belong to J. K. Rowling, save for Ronald McDonald, he was created by Willard Scott.
Harry was angry. No, that was an understatement. Harry was furious. Ron, his supposed best friend, just announced to the entire Gryffindor common room that he was gay. How could he? It turns out that Ron is just a big homophobic. His exact words were, "You're what? Oh Merlin! I been friends with a bloody poofter! That's just sick!" Needless to say, Harry was planning revenge. He roamed through the library that the Room of Requirements had provided him with. Harry had no desire to cause lasting harm to Ron, but it would do him good to humiliate him. Maybe in the great hall? Yes, over dinner when the most people will be there.
"Now let's see. How about…" He stopped when he spotted a fairly small text titled "Humiliation: the How To Guide". He began to flip through it when he spotted a potion that he thought would do nicely. It was a first year level potion and looked fairly simple to make.
This potion, when fed to the victim, will turn them into whomever the brewer wishes them to turn into. This potion is different from the polyjuice potion because while the polyjuice potion requires DNA from a real person, this does not. This can turn them into whomever the brewer wishes, real or mythical. Once he potion is brewed, one must say the incantation, "[1]Potionem viri poena. Commutatus: (the name of whom you want the drinker to turn into)" In order for this to work correctly, you must be specific. If needed, when you state the name of whom you want the drinker to turn into, also say where they are from. If you were to do a mascot, say the name of the mascot and then what the mascot represents.
The rest of the text went on in the same manner, explaining the fine details. Once Harry was done reading, he put the book down to think. Who would he turn Ron into? Maybe… Ronald McDonald? Oh, that's perfect. With a wicked grin, he set to work.
~O~
With a sigh, he sat back in his chair. It took him three tries, but he finally got it perfect. Now all he had to do was to figure out a way to get it into Ron's food without anybody knowing.
"Dobby?" With a pop, he house elf appeared.
"What can Dobby be doing for Mister Harry Potter Sir?"
With a smile, Harry handed him the vial of potion. "Could you pour this into Ronald Weasley's drink at dinner tomorrow night? Be sure not to tell anyone about it and only get it into Ron's drink. Nobody else's. Can you do that for me Dobby?"
Dobby jumped up and down in excitement. "Yes, yes! Anything for Master Harry Potter Sir! Can I be getting Master Harry Potter Sir anything else?"
"No thank you Dobby, that will be all. Thank you."
~O~
Harry was restless all through classes, he was ridiculously excited. Ron would get what he deserved. All day, everywhere he looked, people were staring at him. Not that it was anything new, but it was worse than usual. He even had a couple of guys try to grope him! Needless to say, they ended up on the other side of the hallway, stupefied.
Finally, dinner came around and Harry was nearly bouncing with excitement. He sat down at the end of the table with Hermione next to him, she had stood up for him against Ron, and waited impatiently for said redhead to appear. As he passed, he glared at Harry and sat at the other end of the table. Finally, much to Harry's amusement, he took a drink of his pumpkin juice and immediately began to change. His hair became bright red and stood on top of his head like an Afro, his skin became the color of snow. His nose became and his eyebrows became black and they looked like they had been drawn on. Even better, his clothes started to change too. He wore a loose yellow unitard that came down to his knees and had a white collar. The sleeves were red and white striped and so were the tights that were under the unitard. he had yellow gloves on and the best part, he had on gigantic red clown shoes with yellow laces.
With a look of horror, he stood up from the table and looked down. The entire hall went deadly silent before Harry and Hermione both burst out laughing. That seemed to set everyone off and even Snape was snickering. The purebloods were laughing , but the muggleborns and muggle raised children were the ones laughing the hardest. Harry got up from his seat and made his way over to Ron. He held up a hand and everyone silenced their giggles behind their hands.
"Everybody, may I introduce to you, Ronald McDonald."
Needless to say, Harry fell asleep that night with a smile on his face. And, to top it all off, Ron was stuck like that for another three days.
[1]: According to Google translate, the spell 'Potionem viri poena. Commutatus' translates to 'Potion of Punishment. Change'. I don't know how correct it is, but I'm going to trust it. If you have a better translation, leave a review or you can inbox me.