Do you hear it? The blackness is echoing, penetrating everything and overwhelming my senses. Silence has never seemed so loud. I can hear my heart beating, wishing the whole time it was yours. I never did get to hear it that one, final time. God must truly hate me. All I can see now is the people I've let down, especially you.
Mom. I can't believe what I did to her, such disrespect. How could I have been so foolish as to commit alchemy's biggest taboo, human transmutation? It had seemed so perfect, the perfect way to get our life back to normal. Dad had left so long ago, you two were all I had left. That bastard. If it weren't for him, would mom have still been with us? Is it his fault she died, or was it us? I remember feeling her hand go limp in mine, cooling slowly. We both cried that night, and for days after. That was when we decided to bring her back, and you know the rest. I had watched Granny and Winry make and attack automail for years, never knowing just how much it hurt. But that pain was nothing compared to what was coming, what I did to you.
Nina. We stayed with her and her father for a year or so, and that were exactly what we needed; something to show us life wasn't all bad. Playing with her and Alexander helped take our minds off of everything, and it was nice to have something close to a sister. I admit, even though he had a habit of knocking me down, stealing my watch, and other annoying things, I grew rather fond of Alexander too. Then came the exams, and of course, the promised talking Chimera. That was proof of how sick this world can be. Shou Tucker transformed his four year old daughter and her pet dog into a Chimera. I would have killed him if you hadn't stopped me. In the process, I scared Nina away, too. If only I hadn't been so stupid. By the time we found her, she was just a blood stain on the wall. I couldn't even save a little girl.
Winry. After the "mistake", she and Granny helped get us going again. I don't think I ever thanked her properly, and I doubt she knows how much I care about her. She probably thinks I hate her with how much we go and see her. Saying goodbye each time is just too hard; I never know if that'll be the last time I get to say it. I know she worries, but I think it must lessen without having us in her life constantly. Hopefully she gradually forgets…
Alphonse. Al, why didn't you hate me?. I was the one who convinced you to bring mom back, and all I lost was an arm and a leg. I trapped you in that armor for five fucking years, took away your entire childhood! You couldn't even feel anything! I tried so hard to be strong for you, but I failed, I know it. Even as armor, I still couldn't protect you, I even let you get kidnapped! But you were so nice to me. Every time I had a breakdown, you always told me it wasn't my fault, and that you could never hate me because I was your brother. Some brother. I remember you'd always wake me from nightmares, too. I really wish you wouldn't have. I deserved them, just as much as I deserve to die. But that's Equivalent Exchange for you. You were the one to die in the end, and I couldn't even do anything. You never even got to experience having a body again. That armor finally rejected your soul, it was unavoidable. It meant my time had run out, I failed you. I even tried using my life to bring you back, but the Truth wouldn't let me. It told me that my life was barely worth anything compared to yours. The Truth was right. You're probably happier without me, all I ever did was cause you pain. All I ever wanted was to see your smile.
A/N; I apologize for making Ed OC. Should I leave it as a oneshot or continue? I'm not going to demand reviews, but it's always nice to read what people have to say.