While writing Earning her Stripes I got two requests quite often, which was for A) a sequel and B) a story about what if Jasper had survived.
I had planned to write a Christmas story that filled those two requirements, however, though I got around to writing up most of it, I quickly lost interest and if I'm not interested in writing it, I doubt anyone will want to read it - honestly, it had little in the way of a real plot involving any conflict.
However, about the same time, I started my own journey into dating again after a long-term relationship ended and I got the idea for this story here, so I hope you enjoy it.
I have not used relationship tags because I'd like any relationships to be surprises.

Twice in a Lifetime

Prologue

Allie had bugged her mom for two solid weeks before Jasper gave in and said they could put the tree up. It wasn't exactly hard as she and her husband decided their first Christmas together that they would get a tree with lights already on it so they didn't have to deal with detangling and stringing lights on a tree. And no real trees – those got messy – so, she set up the artificial one from the attic and supervised as the seven-year-old placed ornaments on the branches. Jasper smiled as she pulled out the ornament of a bride and groom with the year she had married the love of her life.

Jasper's past had been…complicated…to say the least, not to mention traumatic in some areas. She'd built walls around her heart, convinced no one would break them down. Then, Bismuth had entered with chisel in hand, determined to chip away at it until she let him in. As much as she'd tried to tell him she wasn't interested – even though she had been – he'd persisted. He'd complimented her on her long hair, on her strength, her eyes…he'd offered her chocolate and she'd refused because she didn't like M&Ms and figured he was after one thing. She'd reminded him they were both in the Middle East to fight a war, not find love. "Love finds who it finds, Tiger," he'd said with a wink.

The bricks had started crumbling away when they started exercising together and talking more. He'd liked her laugh and always tried to tell her jokes. They discussed their interests and helped keep each other strong during the long deployment. It helped to talk of home with someone who understood the sacrifices they'd signed up for. She couldn't exactly pinpoint when she'd fallen for him too, but knew there came a time her heart fluttered when she saw him and that electricity shot through her when his hand touched hers.

Bismuth finally broke down those walls during a hand-to-hand combat training when a simple move triggered horrible memories in her brain and later on, she cleared away the rubble as she told him about a deeply personal incident in her life she rarely discussed. She'd never forget the adoration in his dark eyes, the way the moonlight fell across the couple or how his fingers gently brushed her cheek as he told her he would never do anything to hurt her. She remembered how her heart skipped a beat when he asked permission to finally kiss her and she'd granted it. It had taken him nearly five months to get to the point where her heart lay before him, exposed and vulnerable and the wind swept away the last grains of sand left of the wall that had encased it as he softly pressed his lips against hers.

They'd gotten married almost two years later in a small courthouse wedding. The following year, Allie had been born. She hadn't been exactly planned, but they had discussed kids at some point. They'd also discussed furthering their family, but the timing was never right. It didn't matter; their daughter was the perfect combination of both of them. She had her father's cheeks and nose; her eyes and smile were from her mother. And that hair…long and unruly like her mother's mane, but the consistency was coarse like her father's. It was a nightmare to get untangled and brushed in the morning. Allie had Jasper's adventurous spirit and her sass, but also Bismuth's patience and caring nature.

"Dad is coming home before Christmas, right?" Allie asked.

"That's the plan." However, she knew very well that with the Army things didn't always go as planned. Last time she'd been deployed, her arrival date home had been pushed out twice. It was always difficult being separated and her heart longed for the day he'd step off that plane and they'd rush to each other, embracing after eighteen long months. She missed the way their fingers intertwined perfectly together. She missed sharing the same bed, though didn't miss his snoring…no, she even missed that. Jasper couldn't wait to hear Allie squeal with laughter when her dad picked her up and spun her around.

"I can't wait to see my girls again," he'd said on video chat last night. "I'm looking forward to Christmas with you two."

Jasper had stared longingly at the screen as if memorizing his perfect smile and couldn't wait to really lock eyes with him again to stare into the recesses of his soul he only shared with her. "I love you…"

"I love you too," he'd replied, his voice dripping with sincerity.

It was starting to get dark outside and Jasper considered clicking the light on, but seeing the illuminated tree shimmering, she just couldn't. She sat cross-legged on the floor admiring it, from the smallest lights on the bottom, to the rainbow orbs adorning the branches and finally up to the top where an angel watched over them. Allie sat in her mother's lap and leaned back so Jasper could pull her into a hug. "I'm glad we'll all be together."

"Me too." Jasper kissed the top of her daughter's head.

"You know what the tree needs?"

"What?"

"Presents under it!"

Jasper roared with laughter. "Does it now? Well, I hope you've been good this year." She chuckled and moved away as a knock on the door broke through the moment. She flicked the light on and went to the foyer to look through the peephole.

That was the moment she could feel the grinding halt of her world…before she even opened the door to hear what the two men in uniform had to say, her blood ran cold. There was another knock and even as her mind screamed 'no' repeatedly, she knew she had to answer. She looked over her shoulder briefly at Allie who smiled before she turned the knob and opened the door. "Yes."

The men introduced themselves and one of them asked: "Are you the wife of Sergeant Bismuth Cordero?"

It took a moment to find her voice which came out in a whisper. "Yes."

When asked, she allowed them into the house. Allie approached slowly and stood in front of her mother. Jasper put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. Which one of them was better off –Jasper, who knew full well what was coming or Allie, who had no idea and smiled at the men as though they might be coming with good news.

The scripted words were a backdrop to her thoughts as she caught sight of their wedding photo on the wall. She remembered the vows they'd spoken to each other, their voices echoing in her head…

"I, Bismuth, take you, Jasper, to be my wife…"

"To have and to hold…"

"The Secretary of the Army has asked me to express his deep regret…"

"For richer or poorer…"

"In sickness and in health…"

"That your husband, Sergeant Bismuth Cordero…"

"In joy and in sorrow…"

"To love and to cherish…"

"To honor and respect…"

"Was killed in action…"

"And I pledge all my love to you until death do us part."

"Until death do us part…"

"…deepest sympathy to you and your family in your tragic loss."

Jasper took a step back so she was against the wall. She wasn't sure how her heart could still be beating as broken as it now was. The air had left her lungs.

"Ma'am…"

Her knees gave out and she felt herself hit the floor.

"Mom." Allie's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater.

Jasper was vaguely aware of taking a shaky breath and from somewhere in the distance she heard a wild scream like that of an animal so wounded it knew it might not survive. It wasn't until it was more pronounced…closer…that she knew what it was as her fist hit the hardwood floor. Hot tears sprang from her eyes like a geyser. She was the one screaming.