Author's Note: This is the third Birdy the Mighty fic I've written in the span of like, three days. It's truly a miracle.
More platonic Birdy/Tsutomu to fill in the deep need in my soul, since there's very little content out there for this anime. Also, featuring other characters that aren't just Birdy and Tsutomu! Tsutomu's human friends actually exist here! Incredible, I know.
It's not enough to feel the lack (I want them back, I want them back)
"We can talk it so good,
We can make it so divine,
We can talk it good,
How you wish it would be all the time."
—Ribs by Lorde
Birdy can't believe it's been a month since she and Tsutomu had been joined together, sharing a body. Time sure does fly, she thinks, both bemused and bittersweet.
A lot has happened since then. Mostly clean-up and wrapping up her investigations of the messy Ryunka case. But even then, she knows she'll have to stay in Japan longer for a bit more research and reconnaissance, as well as a precaution to monitor Earth in case anything else related to the case pops up.
(And just in case…Well, anything over her old friend comes up.
Better safe than sorry.)
The past month has been strange to adjust to. She's spent countless years on her own, so she shouldn't find it so jarring that there isn't a second mind sharing her body.
And yet, she finds herself doing strange things. Making remarks and waiting for an exasperated response ringing in her mind that doesn't come. Having a question over some Earth custom, only for her companion to not be there to explain things to her, unintentionally giving her visuals from his own experiences. Stuffing her face in bowls of food, without a tired remark made about how she's going to eat me out of house and home, c'mon, Birdy! You're like a black hole!
It's been…An adventure, for sure, getting the mind of a teenaged human stuck in her body. But it's also equally been as much of a strange trip, getting used to not having said teenager rattling off snarky remarks in her head.
One month since the final confrontation, and Birdy finally breaks down and asks Tsutomu to meet up for lunch, so they can see each other face-to-face to properly catch up.
She picks a café near the hospital—it brings a pang of sorrow and longing, and a slew of memories of her childhood friend. But it's one of the few places they both know well, and it's not too close to either Tsutomu's home or Irma's business, so there's much less chance of them getting snooped on by nosey Alien landladies or Tsutomu's gaggle of human friends.
The fanboys of her Earth persona, well-loved model Shion Arita, are a completely different matter. But so long as she keeps her head down and plays off her appearance as being only similar to Shion—as she's had to do in the past, while in this appearance—she should be golden.
Birdy gets there first—no surprise, with her proficiency in jumping across rooftops—and she sits down in a corner with a menu to hide behind. Her foot taps under the table, jittery, bouncy.
She's a bit nervous. Not because of Tsutomu—she's used to him, and he's a sweet kid… But in the past month she's only dropped by for quick visits to give him updates on her work. Literally, dropped by via his windowsill, usually at late evening or night.
She also texts him—much less suspicious than randomly showing up at his house. But it's all short interactions. The most they'd talked was right after she'd gotten the shit kicked out of her, trying to apprehend her biggest and toughest foe to date.
Even when he got his body back, in Birdy's spaceship, she didn't stick around to chat. After the quick debrief on how his body was functioning as good as new, she'd given him a "we'll talk more later, kid, go enjoy your new body!" before plopping him back into his room from her interdimensional portal.
Birdy knows Tsutomu understands why they haven't really seen each other much in the past month. Rebuilding efforts, research, meetings at Federation HQ, and a veritable mountain of paperwork have kept her busy. And on top of that, she still had modeling gigs to keep up her Earth persona—all booked by Miss Irma, of course, who didn't particularly care about her schedule, and never did.
This avoidance still makes her feel guilty, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. But Tsutomu was nothing if not sympathetic. And probably glad to finally have his body back after so many months of having no privacy and little agency over himself.
A voice cuts through her tumultuous, guilt-laden thoughts. "Sorry I'm late! You decide on what you're ordering yet?"
She lowers her menu slightly, looking up from her seated position at the smiling figure of Tsutomu Senkawa. It's a bit strange, seeing the boy in front of her, not just restricted in seeing his form in a mirror. Having him be tangibly in front of her.
Birdy can't help the wide smile tugging at her lips, and doesn't stop it from forming. "Tsutomu!" she laughs, bounding up from her seat before he can sit down across from her, wrapping him in a fierce hug.
"Woah! You're gonna crush me, Birdy!" the teen says, teasing and fond, a laugh lining his words. "It's been a while, huh?"
"Yeah, it has," the alien says sheepishly, unwrapping her arms from the human that's become one of her closest, most precious friends. She rubs at the back of her head and chuckles nervously, sliding back down into her seat. "C'mon, pull up a seat. I'm starving!"
"You're always starving," Tsutomu huffs, but his tone is anything but malicious. He's grinning, small and soft, as he slides into a seat across from her. "You better watch it, Birdy. You don't have me to cook you feasts every day, y'know."
"Are you saying I'm fat?" she snipes back in mock-offense, narrowing her eyes playfully at him.
"Just look at your menu, Birdy," he replies without answering, hiding his smile behind his own menu, which he'd started to leaf through.
The silence is pleasant and familiar, as they skim through various drinks and pastries on the laminated pages. The woman points out certain dishes to her companion, eyes alight, delighted when the teen responds with his thoughts on the items in question.
It's just like not-so-old times, really, and it makes something bittersweet well up in her chest. She's missed this. Having Tsutomu with her, a constant presence, giving candid commentary all the while.
"Heh. This reminds me when we were…Y'know," Tsutomu starts, making a gesture so he didn't vocalize classified information aloud, while surrounded by civilian humans. His voice is nostalgic, eyes getting a faraway look in them, before he visibly shakes himself from his reverie.
"Yeah…" Birdy agrees, voice coming out softer and a bit more hesitant than she intends. Her blue eyes stare through the menu, the pictures and words becoming a blurry haze. "It's crazy, how it's already been a month, huh?"
The teen makes a noise of assent, a hum at the back of his throat. The disguised alien flickers her gaze up, and their eyes meet.
There's something…strangely melancholy in Tsutomu's big ol' eyes. It sort of reminds her of the aftermath of the Ryunka, with Sayaka Nakasugi's involvement, and how utterly crushed the boy had been. It took a while, but Tsutomu had managed to…not bounce back, exactly, but took it in stride. Processed it, came to terms with it, and moved on.
The entire debacle had matured him. Given him a wisdom in his dark-grey eyes that hadn't been there before, a world-weariness that settled inconspicuously on his shoulders, a bit more steel to reinforce his spine.
It took heartbreak and fire to forge it within him, but he came out all the stronger for it. Came out with a deeper understanding of the world.
When Birdy locks eyes with Tsutomu, she sees all that. Sees the hurt and the confusion and the muted acknowledgement.
"I've missed you, Birdy," the human murmurs, quiet in the hum of the café. Like he's scared to voice his insecurity aloud, but doing it anyways.
It breaks her heart a little, makes the guilt chip at her shaky defenses. She's been guilty over many things in her life, been crushed and left to pick up the pieces of herself after countless grueling battles.
For months, she's been harboring the guilt over accidentally killing an innocent human teenager, making him merge with her body, and completely taking over his life from him. Destroying Tsutomu Senkawa's body and flipping his life upside down was one of Birdy's more recent regrets.
She'd thought that, when Tsutomu finally got his body back, it would…absolve her of it? No, not absolve. That it would be enough of a good deed to chase the guilt away, and then she wouldn't have to hurt Tsutomu ever again.
But now, she feels incredibly guilty once more. Guilty over giving the boy his body back, of all things.
Of leaving Tsutomu. Leaving him alone, after all he's been through, because of her…
She can say all these things. Lay out her soul to Tsutomu, bare all her insecurities and guilt-ridden thoughts.
That's not needed, though. It would be redundant, because Tsutomu had already seen her at her worst. Had already lived through her memories, been inside her head, and seen everything that made her crumble, everything that made her who she was.
They knew each other. They knew each other so well, that they didn't need to talk to each other. The most precious times they spent together were in silent understanding, and this was no different.
"I've missed you too." And that's all she needed to say.
"I want them back (I want them back),
The minds we had (the minds we had),
How all the thoughts (how all the thoughts),
Move round our heads (move round our heads)."
The two were silent, staring at each other with tired smiles and melancholy eyes. The silence stretched between them, understanding and acceptance falling over them.
For just a few minutes, it felt like they were the only beings that existed.
Naturally, the waitress took that moment to sidle up to their table and interrupt the fragile peace.
"So, what can I get you two today? Can I start you off with any drinks?" the older woman asked, friendly and chipper. She had a pad poised in front of her, fishing a pen from her messy hair bun to jot down their orders.
Birdy stuttered and spluttered, flipping frantically through her menu. "Uh, yeah, sorry—can I get an, uuuuuuh, boneless pizza? No, wait, an um—b-blueberry, no, cherry—wait, shi—sugar? Sugar, um, iced tea—no, that's redundant as all hell, ugh."
As the waitress stared at her, bemused and sympathetic to her current spectacle of making a fool of herself, Tsutomu gave a short snort of amusement.
"Can I just get a hot chocolate? Medium-sized, please," the teen said calmly, closing his menu with finality. He was so put-together that it made the alien angry, if a bit impressed at his quick thinking. She's a hundred percent certain that he was just as startled as she'd been at the waitress' arrival—he'd even jumped in his seat!—and yet he'd already had his order planned out in advance.
Birdy quickly re-scanned through the drinks—which had two double-spreads on the menu, because of course it did, this was a café for fuck's sakes—and she settled on the first thing her eyes landed on. "Ummm, just, a cookie milkshake? Make it the biggest size you've got. Oh! And a strawberry shortcake. Yeah, those."
To the waitress' credit, she didn't comment or acknowledge the brunette's train-wreck of an order. "For the shortcake, do you want it in a small, medium, or large serving? And do you want whipped cream?"
"M-Medium, please, and uh. Yes, to the whipped cream," Birdy said, cheeks ablaze, as she sheepishly closed her menu and handed it over to the kind waitress.
"Of course, dears. One medium hot chocolate, one grande cookie milkshake, and one medium strawberry shortcake, coming right up!" the older woman said, taking both menus and shooting a soft, knowing smile at the two. She even pat Birdy's hand in support. "It'll be just a few minutes, hm?"
Birdy kept on a too-bright smile on her face, despite her mortification, until the waitress was far enough away. Then, she slumped down into her seat, giving an embarrassed groan and hiding her face in her hands. "Ugh, that was horrible…"
"I dunno, Birdy," Tsutomu piped up casually. She peaked through her fingers at him, seeing him shake with silent laughter. "You managed it in the end, right?"
"I hate you," she whined petulantly. "Stop laughing at my shame!"
The alien slid her hands down her face, jutting her lower lip in a disgruntled pout at her companion. Tsutomu was trying valiantly to keep a straight face, but his eyes gleamed impishly.
"B-boneless pizza," he wheezed under his breath, before breaking out into choked giggles. Birdy groaned again, throwing her head back theatrically.
"I regret everything. Every single thing in my entire life. Can a black hole just mysteriously open up and swallow me into its deep, dark abyss? That would be great right about now."
Though she griped and grumbled, she was actually sort of glad that the atmosphere between them was aired out, wasn't as sad as it was before. Something had to give, after all.
It probably would've been better to have this meeting in a private place—like the Senkawa residence—so they wouldn't have to worry about the chance of revealing that aliens existed to humans…But at the same time, talking it out at Tsutomu's house would've let them build up tension without any sort of release. Things could've escalated into some sort of fight, because Gods knows that she can't ever take the pressure from emotional heart-to-hearts without breaking.
Having an awkward event to lighten the mood was a good thing. Even if it did end in Birdy's humiliation…
"I wonder how long the waitress was there, though, waiting for us to stop talking. She came in at a suspiciously good time to ask for our orders," Tsutomu mused, propping his head on a closed fist, gaze searching the café idly.
Birdy snapped her attention so quickly to Tsutomu, she almost gave herself whiplash. As she stared at him, she straightened up from her slumped posture, the dawning realization befalling her. "Yeah…You're right. She could've come in at any time."
Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Was the waitress eavesdropping on them? Trying to gather intel? She didn't think there were more criminals related to the Ryunka case, but there's always the possibility of enemies of the Federation skulking about, disguised as humans.
The Federation officer discreetly rifled through her pockets, pulling out Tuto's cell form, punching in commands. The screen alighted after a few moments, and she quickly checked the results.
"Tuto's scans show that she's human," she frowned, eyes narrowed, revealing this to her companion in a low voice. "So then, why…"
The two were silent—Birdy in frustration and paranoia, Tsutomu in contemplation—before the teen spoke.
"I dunno, maybe…Maybe she saw that we needed time to talk? Y'know, to sort things out," the boy shrugged, fiddling with a napkin. "I mean, things did sorta get…tense, there, for a minute. Plus, waiters can get pretty good about when to swoop in to take orders. They sorta get when people need more time thinking things over, or when they're too busy to reply."
"But…she kept smiling at us? Like she knew something," the alien's frown deepened, thoroughly confused on top of cautious.
"Maybe she thought we were working through some sort of problem?" the boy wondered, also a bit confused. "Not sure what, exactly. But people always make assumptions, when they don't know what's going on in a situation."
"Hmmmm," Birdy hummed, tilting her head and tapping her chin, scrutinizing the problem from every angle.
She had to take things from a different perspective, here. From the view of an outsider.
The two didn't reveal much in their conversation aloud. A lot of it was nonverbal communication, from knowing each other so well.
But, if taken out of context…
"Heh. This reminds me when we were…Y'know…"
"Yeah…It's crazy, how it's already been a month, huh?"
"I've missed you, Birdy."
"I've missed you too."
"Oh no," the woman groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, sinking down into her seat once more in despair.
"Hm? What's wrong, Birdy?" Tsutomu asked, concerned and befuddled, leaning slightly towards her.
Cue the waitress making her reappearance.
Giving a too-cheery and too-sympathetic smile, the older woman started to pass out their orders from the perfectly balanced tray in her hand. After thanking and assuring the waitress that they were fine for now, Birdy instantly clamped her mouth around the straw of her milkshake to drown her horror in delicious cookie bliss.
Wishing for a moment that her drink was alcoholic, Birdy inhaled about a half of the milkshake in one go. Tsutomu's eyebrows were climbing higher up his forehead, staring at her devouring the drink with mild concern.
She relinquished the straw with a small pop, staring Tsutomu dead-ass in the eyes with the grave seriousness of a funeral procession. "The waitress thinks we're a couple," she stated flatly and emotionlessly, her abject horror at the thought so strong that it looped around until she was left in a state of numbness.
Tsutomu, who had barely taken a sip of hot chocolate, began to choke. Sputtering and covering his mouth with a napkin, he stared at her with wide eyes.
"What?" he croaked at her.
"The way we were acting…Could be construed as us being a romantic couple, Tsutomu," she stated, slowly and methodically. A hysterical laugh bubbled in her throat, threatening to spill out. She simply gave a controlled snort into her glass.
"Oh my God," the teen breathed, putting a hand on his forehead. "You're…You're totally right? What the fuck."
She gave a grunt, shoving a bite of strawberry shortcake in her mouth.
The teen breathed in, rubbing at his temple, seemingly trying to think it through. "Okay, but… Wouldn't it be more accurate to say…That we looked like a couple that just went through a break-up? Considering the whole, 'not seeing each other in a month' deal?"
Birdy wheezed around the spoon in her mouth. She quickly removed the offending cutlery, before it proved a choking hazard. "By the forces of Justice, that's…that's eerily accurate, yet so, so off."
"It's actually sort of amazing," Tsutomu agreed, blowing at the rim of his ceramic mug to cool down his drink. "I mean, what, is it impossible for us to just be friends?"
"Apparently so," she drawled, twirling the straw of her milkshake around and around in the glass. "Also, sorry Tsutomu, but you're not my type."
"Oh no," he deadpanned, a lopsided grin on his face. "My dreams, crushed. How will I ever recover?"
Birdy nodded solemnly, blue eyes glittering with amusement. "Borrowing a phrase from the kids these days: I'm as gay as a rainbow, you could say." Tsutomu snorted out a laugh as she went on. "Also, you're just a little too young for me. It'd be like robbing you straight from a cradle."
"Well, you are an old lady," the teen said, mock-contemplative, trying very hard to keep a straight face. "Anyone would seem young compared to you."
"I am not old!" she yelped in offense, glaring at him and throwing a balled-up napkin at the laughing teen. "And especially not an old lady!"
"But y-you and Irma are s-so alike! The resemblance is uncanny!" Tsutomu cackled out, hands on his stomach as he curled in on himself. He howled in laughter while Birdy leaned over and started to smack him on the shoulder and head in irritation.
"You take that back, you little brat!"
"I-I give! I give!" he wheezed, holding his hands up in surrender while his entire form wracked with laughter. She gave him one last, good whack on the head, which made him whine in offense. "Birdy!"
She huffed, leaning back in her seat, crossing her arms. She couldn't stop smiling, though. The woman watched her companion try to gather himself, wiping at the edges of his eyes to rid the tears of mirth.
"Are you two doing alright?" the waitress asked, stopping by their table. The older woman smiled fondly at the two, the look in her eyes slightly different than before. It was a subtle thing, but it was like she looked at them and seemed to understand that her previous assumptions about them were incorrect.
"Yes, thank you," Birdy answered, primly straightening in her seat. She gave a winning smile at the human woman. "The food is delicious."
"Y-Yeah," Tsutomu said, still pink-faced and breathless from his bout of laughter. "'S good."
"Just tell me if you need anything else, dears," she told them, gaze drifting to Birdy. "Especially if your brother decides he wants a dessert."
"Will do!" Birdy chirped gleefully, a wide smile unfurling on her face as she glanced over at a sputtering Tsutomu. "You know boys, they always eat so much, neh?"
As the waitress wandered away, the teen gave a strangled keening noise, slumping in his seat. "She thinks I'm your little brother," he said, voice vaguely distant.
"Well, you pretty much are," the alien shrugged, waving a hand around flippantly.
"I already have an older sister. Hazumi, remember?" Tsutomu huffed, taking a quick drag from his cup.
"Oh, yeah. How could I forget?" Birdy smirked, waggling her eyebrows at her companion. He gave a noise of affront, face pulled into an expression of horror.
"Birdy, what the hell!"
"Oh, c'mon, c'mon," she teased him playfully, her smile turning into an amused smirk. "If she and I get married, then I'll be your…sister-in-law? That's how it works here, right? And then I'll really be your sister!"
"Fuck no. Don't you lay a finger on my nee-san, you crazy alien lesbian," he threatened, jabbing a finger in her direction.
"Technically, I'm an alien lesbian cop."
"I don't care. You're not messing with Hazumi-nee. I won't stand for it!"
"Oh Tsutomu…" Birdy clicked her tongue, shaking her head mockingly. "See, this is what I mean. It's like you're my little brother. You sort of act like it."
"Who's had to give you advice all the time, before?" he interjected, crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow pointedly at her. "That's right: me."
"Oh, whatever. No need to get all uppity about it," Birdy rolled her eyes, taking a triumphant bite of her shortcake. "Besides, it's better than people thinking we're a couple. I'll take what I can get, here."
"I guess so," Tsutomu muttered under his breath, just a little bit put-out. He took a careful drink of his hot chocolate, humming in appreciation, before he admits, "The drinks here really are great, though. Good spot you picked."
"You're the only friend I need (you're the only friend I need),
Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids),
And laughing 'til our ribs get tough (and laughing 'til our ribs get tough),
But that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)."
The duo spent the next half hour or so catching up, languid and comfortable.
Birdy couldn't go in-depth into her work of wrapping up the Ryunka case, for fear of eavesdroppers picking up the sensitive information—and it would be a disaster if the knowledge of aliens and interdimensional travel were revealed to more humans, besides. But Tsutomu picked up the stuff between the lines, and understood what she was trying to tell him without her revealing more than she was comfortable with.
He was doing well, he'd assured her. "It's a little weird getting used to, er…Well, having my thoughts to myself. But my parents came back from overseas, so I'm not actually alone at the house anymore."
"Have you tested out your physical fitness?" she asked, curious. She knows that when Tsutomu's body was reconstructed, it would be in the same shape and specifications as his body from before. Well, barring his vision. When he shared her body, Tsutomu didn't need any glasses; that change in itself was a little curious to those that knew him, as he'd needed glasses before.
His friends assumed he got contact lenses to correct his vision. If he suddenly went back to having poor vision and needing glasses, after having ditched them just a few months prior, it would bring up a lot more attention towards Tsutomu than he needed. It was also much more practical to rebuild his body with perfect vision (for a human, that is).
This slight boon was the least they could do, for all the trouble Tsutomu had went through. He'd spent much longer fused with Birdy than they'd considered. He also helped a lot in the Ryunka case, which she was ever grateful for, as well as the whole team on the case.
"Everything's been going pretty well. Honestly, I haven't been having any problems," Tsutomu grinned, bringing an arm up and flexing the appendage. "I'm as good as ever!"
"That's good," she sighed, feeling relieved. The alien took a noisy sip from her second milkshake, which she'd ordered ten minutes ago, and was already finishing. "So, what about your friends? Anything new with them?"
"Uuuuuugh," Tsutomu whined, his previously cheery disposition taking a one-eighty in mere moments. "Don't remind me."
"Oh? Is something up?" she perked up, curious as the overly exasperated, pained expression on his soft features.
"They're driving me up the goddamn wall. Honestly," he sighed, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side. "It's been obvious that ever since the Newspaper Club's event at the school festival, Natsumi and Sudou-kun want to ask each other out. They've been bickering like an old married couple since they've met in high school, and they make snarky comments to each other constantly.
But they're both so stubborn and bull-headed that neither one wants to admit to their feelings, and it's all so dumb. Their weird flirting and pining is so obvious, even Masakubo's noticed! And Masakubo couldn't care less about anything that isn't alien conspiracy theories or video games or pretty idols!"
Tsutomu throws his hands up in the air, before dramatically thumping the back of his head against the edge of his seat. "It's ridiculous, Birdy. At this point, I'm considering just. Throwing the two of them in a supply closet, and have them work out their feelings that way."
Birdy tried to keep a straight face at Tsutomu's pained theatrics. Really, she did. His problems were very frustrating to him, after all, since he cared so much about his friends.
She still couldn't help but laugh, though. His irritated, betrayed expression only made her cackle harder.
"Birdy," he stressed, face scrunched up in a glare. "I'm being serious here!"
"Sorry, sorry," she stifled down her laughter, voice wavering with mirth. "You were saying?"
Tsutomu huffed, gesturing empathetically with a hand. "Natsumi and Sudou are so obviously into each other, it's actually physically painful to watch them dance around each other. And the worst part is that they're not the only ones!"
"Oh?" Birdy hummed, trying to seem as supportive as possible.
"There's Kitamura-chan and Chikara-kun, too," the teen started, using the tone of voice of someone who's accepted complete and utter defeat.
"They're not nearly as bad as Natsumi and Sudou-kun, but still. Kitamura-chan keeps trying to flirt with Chikara-kun, all sly and subtle. It almost all flies right over Chikara's head— but whenever he does pick up on the flirting and tries to ask Kitamura about it, she acts all innocent like she wasn't flirting, even though? She's very decidedly flirting with him? I think she's trying to be coy, but her subtlety's just too subtle."
The woman clicked her tongue, musing, "Yup, there's such a thing as being too subtle. Some people just need to be told out-right, y'know? Plus, guys can be pretty thick."
"Chikara-kun's not dumb or anything! He can see all the signs Kitamura-chan's trying to give him," Tsutomu explained, defending his friend. "But he's too much of an earnest, straightforward guy to pick up when people are trying to flirt with him, I think. He probably just thinks Kitamura-chan's being polite, or something."
"Don't rule out the possibility that he could be like you," Birdy said, using her straw to physically point at Tsutomu. "Maybe he's not interested in romantic relationships, or intimate stuff, or both."
"You think he could be aromantic?" Tsutomu mused, blinking at the brunette, who shrugged at him.
"Is that what you people call it?" she asked, quirking her head to the side like a curious bird. She filed the Earth term away for later. "And, hey, maybe. Or he could be your whole 'asexual' deal. I don't know him as well as you do, kid. But you need to keep an open mind."
"Okay, true. You've got a point," the teen admitted, running a hand idly through his dark hair. "Still, it's just…Bleh. Like, my friends are just? Pairing up together in neat little couples? It's like some sort of ridiculous romantic-comedy anime or something. It's eerie."
Birdy snorted into her glass, muttering under her breath, "The compulsory straight syndrome attacks again." She blinked innocently over at her companion, who started to choke on his spit as he gave an incredulous laugh.
She drained the final dregs of her second milkshake, smacking her lips and making a noise of content, before broaching the subject once more. She purposefully and delicately didn't ask about Sayaka Nakasugi, who had been Tsutomu's prior girlfriend and lost all her memories of her relationship with him after the Ryunka debacle. "So… There some random girls I never knew about, getting together with those two conspiracy-theorist friends of yours?"
"No. And thank God for that," Tsutomu huffed, shaking his head at her fondly as he thought about Masakubo and Hazawa. "I honestly don't see them getting dates, like, ever…? They care too much about fantasy and the fantastical. Plus…"
He smirked, leaning forwards, eyes glimmering impishly. "They're some of your biggest fans, Birdy…! Very devoted. They'd never betray you like that."
The brunette began to gag exaggeratedly. "Oh, ew," she choked out, shivering violently. "I'd rather not, thanks. They can have each other!"
It was hilarious, how quickly the teen's face contorted from a smug expression to something appalled. Tsutomu blanched in horror. "Ugh. Birdy! Don't make me think about them like that!"
"Too late," she smirked, flashing her teeth viciously and whispering under her breath, "Payback, bitch."
The teen glared at her, bunching up his napkin and chucking it at her. She easily dodged the fluffy projectile. "You're absolutely horrible. Terrible. I hate you so much." He gave a full-body shudder. "Now I won't get these terribly cursed images out of my head, because of you."
"You're welcome, Tsutomu," she sing-songed, snickering at his pained face.
"You're incorrigible. You know that, right?"
"I try, Tsutomu, I try."
"That's not a good thing, Birdy!"
Their playful bickering was interrupted by an unexpected presence.
"Tsutomu? Is that you?"
The boy in question quickly turned in his seat at the familiar voice, catching sight of his childhood friend Natsumi Hayamiya. She was leading a group of his friends—which consisted of Sudou-kun, Chikara-kun, and Kitamura-chan— towards his and Birdy's table.
"Well speak of the devil," the boy in question muttered under his breath, so quiet that only Birdy could hear. The alien bit down a snort at the snarky remark.
"Wait, isn't that…?" Kitamura-chan started, when they got closer to the table, looking wide-eyed at Tsutomu's companion.
"Shion Arita?!" Sudou-kun asked, a little too loudly, looking flabbergasted. It was a rather comical expression, on his angular face.
Birdy burst into practiced laughter. "I get that a lot. I'm not that Shion girl, though."
She tried to keep her body from tensing and locking up. Instead, she stayed in her casually lounging position. Along with her naturally boisterous voice that she didn't bother to modulate, it helped distance her from the carefully-crafted persona of local model and singer Shion Arita.
Shion Arita was presented as ditzy, and smiley, with a casual sexiness that was innocent instead of risqué. She wore ridiculously cute clothes, and gave stupid catchphrases, and had a voice that was pitched up and cute and enthusiastic, like a superstar should.
Birdy was far from Shion Arita in terms of personality. Even if she was currently wearing said disguise of Shion Arita, as long as she acted casual—acted like she usually did with Tsutomu—she should be able to convince his friends.
"The resemblance is uncanny…" Chikara-kun mused, tilting his head and smiling benignly.
"No offense to Shion for doing her thing—a girl's gotta eat in this patriarch-driven world— but she's not acting like a bimbo, soooo…I doubt it's her," Natsumi shrugged, dismissive and casual. Tsutomu choked on his laughter, while Birdy tried very hard not to twitch or make a sound of offense. "Besides, how would someone like Tsutomu know a model like Shion Arita?"
"You wound me," Tsutomu deadpanned to his childhood friend, before turning his attention to his alien companion, eyes alight in mischief. "And you're definitely not as ditzy as Shion Arita, Birdy." She pointedly stomped on his foot under the table, eyes narrowed. He still managed to keep his smile in place, despite it being a half-grimace of pain. "It's a compliment!"
"I'm Birdy, by the way," she said, giving a little wave to the group of Tsutomu's friends. "I'm a friend of his sister's. She's a drinking buddy of mine, and I'm sorta friends with Tsutomu here, too."
The best lies were crafted from the truth, after all. She and Hazumi Senkawa had gotten together to drink only twice, but the older Senkawa was so friendly and boisterous that the two women actually became friends rather quickly.
As the group of teens bowed and introduced themselves to her—unknowing that she already knew all of them from Tsutomu's stint sharing her body—Natsumi gave a decisive snap of her fingers and pointed at the woman with a cry of triumph. "I knew I wasn't imagining things! I've seen you before in Tsutomu's house! If you're friends with Hazumi-nee-san, you must visit the Senkawa house, right?"
"Oh? You've seen me before at the Senkawa residence?" Birdy mused, casually smiling as if the slip-up of her appearance in Tsutomu's home wasn't catastrophic. "Yeah, sometimes I visit. Tsutomu and Hazumi are nice enough to let me bunk there."
"It's better to be safe than sorry, when you're drinking," Sudou-kun nodded sagely, holding his chin with a hand, a frown on his face. "If you don't have a designated driver to help you home, staying at the Senkawa house is a good move."
Birdy gave a chuckle. "Right, right." She rarely got drunk out of her ass, and even then, getting home is barely a problem with her abilities to cross the city via sky in just a few short minutes. But the kids didn't need to know that.
The woman slid out of her seat, placing some bills for her tab on the table. "Anyways, I should get going. It's been nice catching up with you, Tsutomu, but I should probably go see my work schedule. Miss Irma's probably got me booked."
"Miss Irma?" Chikara-kun perked up, giving an excited little grin. "Miss Irma, who wears feather boas, and owns a small agency downtown?"
The group of teens appeared confused at Chikara's sudden inquiry. Birdy and Tsutomu exchanged a quick glance, wondering how he knew about the alien landlady-slash-business woman.
"Uh, yeah," Birdy blinked, peering over at the plain-faced boy with an intent look in her eye. "She's my boss."
"My grandmother and Miss Irma are good friends," Chikara-kun explained quickly. "Please, tell her that me and Kerri Chikara-baa-san said hi."
"Will do," the disguised alien said, giving a quick, two-fingered salute and a grin. "It was nice meeting friends of Tsutomu's!" She stepped aside—but not before giving Tsutomu a quick hair-ruffle. "I'll visit sometime soon, 'kay? Take care, kid. And, uh, say hi to your sis for me."
Tsutomu gave a small huff, straightening his hair in a disgruntled fashion. But soon enough, he was grinning up at her. "Sure, Birdy. Looking forward to it."
"Good luck on your little group date!" Birdy chirped, much too innocently, giving a jaunty wave over her shoulder at the flustered and sputtering teens she left in her wake.
Tsutomu simply groaned, palming his face. Yet his lips quirk up into an exasperated, fond grin, all the same.
Notes:
This fic takes place after Season 2 of Birdy the Mighty: Decode. But, it doesn't hold huge spoilers for the end of that season, so you can probably just read this with knowledge of Season 1 under your belt.
But, really, if you haven't seen Season 2…go watch it.
If you haven't seen this series in general, you should watch it, or you probably won't understand anything here ffffff.
In Season 2 there's this twenty second scene where it turns out Chikara's grandma is good friends with Irma, the alien landlady, and? It's implied that Chikara's grandma is also a disguised alien. There's no resolution to this plot thread, it's just left there? Thus, the scene there near the end is me trying to acknowledge that.
Tsutomu is ace, and you can pry this headcannon from my cold, dead hands.
Birdy is a lesbian, who's demiromantic. You can also pry this headcannon from my cold, dead hands.