Healthy in Paranoid Times
Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto, and I do not own the songs in "Healthy in Paranoid Times" those belong to Our Lady Peace, as well as my soul. (If I had one to give that is. XD)
Author's Note - Ever since I bought the new Our Lady Peace CD, I've been thinking of ideas for songfics. And for almost every song on the album I thought of a songfic.
Each chapter will contain a different fic. Each titled by the name of the song.
Some songs will contain pairings, others won't.
Warning - OOC/AU to fit my wishes. Sasuke/Sakura implied.
Page One - Angels/Losing/Sleep
It had been a few months since Sasuke returned to Konoha. Most everyone still looked at him as a traitor. He recently gained the trust of Kakashi and Naruto. But the only person he couldn't seem to get to was Sakura.
Looks like the holy ghost is gone
Now your afraid of yourself
Sakura, the one that had loved him unconditionally, protected him to her fullest extent had seemingly turned her back on him. In reality, she was afraid to show him any sympathy, any love or compassion that would normally be expected of her. Her actions to Sasuke were limited. She'd treat him as if he never existed, and deep down inside it was killing her. She was afraid of herself, of what she would do once the dam broke. She wanted to hug him till he was blue in the face.
She did nothing but worry, inwardly and outwardly while Sasuke was away. She didn't know if he'd come back home, or was even alive. The thought of Sasuke dead drove her to tears when no one was around.
Over your shoulder you have to watch
Heaven fall into hell
Sasuke on the other hand thought that Sakura had finally turned her back on him. He wasn't used to her ignoring him, when she would always be right behind him. Always trying to get his attention, while now she didn't care if he looked at her. Sometime he would catch himself looking over his shoulder hoping that she'd be behind him, like good old times, only to find no one there.
It hurt him somewhat on the inside, that she wouldn't acknowledge his presence. Was he actually missing Sakura always pining after him? He could easily have anyone in the village if he wanted - well, he'd have a better chance in hell now. His heaven was turning into hell, without that pink haired girl always behind him. He had missed her secretly, and to have her turn away the moment he laid eyes on her almost broke his heart.
Looks like your boat's about to sink
So it's time to prepare
Even the angels are losing sleep
And the sidewalks are bare
Sasuke sighed as he wandered the streets of Konoha, hands in pockets. Passers-by would look at him with contempt, but he paid no mind to their looks. He was used to them by now. He kept his eyes on the ground as he passed many shops, people would immediately move away, not wanting any contact with him as he passed.
Sakura stood before a shop admiring a display as Sasuke accidentally bumped into her. Their eyes met, Sasuke winced as Sakura just looked at him blankly and went about her pervious business.
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
"Sakura…" Sasuke said as the pink haired girl turned from him.
"Hm?" she said as she didn't turn to face him.
"Of all the people I hoped would see me as a human being, I wanted you to be one of them." he said emotionlessly as he walked off, leaving Sakura to stare at her reflection in the glass. Tears welled up in the corners of her jade eyes as Sasuke kept walking on. He turned around to see Sakura hang her head low and walk off in the opposite direction.
And I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone
He had a feeling deep down inside that Sakura would no longer hold feelings of resentment towards him. He would wait for that day to come, even though he had no idea why her opinion of him mattered so much to him.
He continued walking till he reached a secluded place, a place he called his own. A place where no one would find him, or make him feel as if he didn't belong. He sat down under a tree and looked across the great expanse of forest ahead of him, when it suddenly hit him.
He truly cared what that pink haired kunoichi thought of him. In fact he was beginning to care about her. She was always there for him, even though she was mostly powerless to change things, but she still cared about him regardless. She'd give up her life for him, while he wouldn't even give her the time of day. Sasuke sighed and put his head on his knees. There really wasn't much he could do to change things.
Oh it looks like the war was in your head
Not your heart
Just when you think it's figured out
Well it all falls apart
Meanwhile, Sakura walked back to her apartment and opened the door. She threw her bag onto the small couch as she shut the door behind her. She wanted to comfort Sasuke so badly. She saw the looks the residents of Konoha would give him. Surely he had to feel bad on the inside, especially to have one of his team mates ignore him. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell Sasuke that she no longer thought poorly of him. But what good would it do? Every time she'd tell him how much she loved him, he'd brush it off as if it was nothing. Her feelings had been crushed so many times by him, she didn't want it to happen again.
She was fighting with her heart and her head. Her head kept telling her to keep up the front, while her heart told her to find Sasuke and tell him that she still cared in hopes of him accepting it. The tears welled up in her eyes again as she smacked herself with a pillow.
It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
Sasuke stood up after collecting his thoughts and feelings. He decided to find Sakura and confront her once and for all. He wanted answers to the questions he had been dwelling on for some time. He dusted off his pants and walked back in the direction in which he came.
And I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone
He again walked the streets of Konoha, hands in pockets as people continued to look at him. Random murmurs of "traitor" or "scum" reached his ears. Their words didn't matter, he wanted to hear what Sakura had to say, and nothing more. He walked back to the place where they last met, only to find that she was no longer there.
"Hn…" he said as he looked around only to find Naruto walking towards him. "Naruto." Sasuke said calmly as the blond haired ninja lifted his head to meet the dark eyes belonging to Sasuke.
"Yeah?" he said as he stopped in front of Sasuke.
"Do you know where Sakura is staying?" he said, his eyes focusing on something above Naruto's head.
"Yeah, I was going there. Just follow me." he said, smiling broadly.
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Naruto hummed to himself as he knocked on the door of Sakura's apartment lightly. A few seconds later Sakura opened the door slightly peering out to see who it was. Once she was that it was only Naruto, she opened up the door and let him in. Sasuke stood to the side, hidden from Sakura's view as he hear the door shut softly. He heard muffled words from within as Naruto talked about a meeting with Kakashi in the morning.
A few minutes later Naruto emerged from her apartment and shut the door behind him.
"Well, don't do anything to piss her off. She's gotten a lot stronger since you left." Naruto said as he patted Sasuke's shoulder and walked off.
Sasuke just nodded and stood in front of the door. He raised his fist to lightly knock on the door, but hesitated.
Why was he hesitating? Sasuke never hesitates, so why is he hesitating when it comes to a simple conversation? Sighing, Sasuke shook off those thoughts and knocked on the door.
"Just a minute." the muffled voice of Sakura could be heard as she walked to the door and opened it. She thought it was Naruto coming back for something else, only to find the form of Sasuke standing before her, calm and collected as he had always been.
She blinked a couple times before speaking.
" What are you doing here Sasuke?" she said, trying to disguise the emotion in her voice.
"Can I come in?" he said trying to sound emotionless as well.
Sakura said nothing but stepped to the side letting Sasuke walk past her and into her apartment. She sighed and shut the door and leaned against it.
"Why did you come here?" she said, still trying to sound emotionless.
Sasuke let out a long sigh and turned to face her.
"I want to know why you of all people decided to turn your back on me. You always would be behind me, I guess I took that for granted." he said, his expression softening at the end.
Sakura looked at Sasuke for a while before speaking.
"You turned your back on us. How am I supposed to feel?" she said trying to fight back the tears that she knew would surely come.
"I…" Sasuke began, but decided to keep his mouth shut suddenly remembering what Naruto had told him before he left.
"You don't know how badly it hurt me, knowing that you left to be with him. I didn't know if you were alive or dead, it got to the point where it was eating me on the inside Sasuke." she said, her voice wavering. "And now that you're back, I don't know if I should welcome you back with open arms, or just try to forget you."
"I understand." he said looking at her. He could see that she was breaking down.
"Goddamnit you baka, I missed you." Sakura said as she slid down to the floor, her tears were flowing freely now.
Sasuke looked down at Sakura and knelt down in front of her.
"I missed you too." he began as Sakura looked up at him, her jade eyes wide. "I guess I took everything you've given me for granted. You loved me, you were always by my side even though I didn't really want you there, but deep down I wanted you there. And now that you're no longer there, it feels like a part of me is missing."
Sakura blinked a few tears away, only to have new ones take their place as she hugged Sasuke, sending him to the floor.
Looks like the war was in your head Sakura laid there as she hugged Sasuke. Sasuke blinked in confusion as he lightly hugged the sobbing mass on top of him.
Looks like the war was in your head
War was in your head
"Get up Sakura." he said softly as she obeyed. She sat in front of him cross-legged as she wiped her eyes.
"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun." she said between sniffles.
"Its alright." he said as he tilted her head up slightly with his hand. "I guess what I am trying to say is this. I care about you. I want you to see me was a human being, and not some monster like the others have been seeing me as."
Sakura turned a light shade of pink at his words.
"You care about me?" she said as he eyes grew wide again.
"Yes." he said, feeling slightly ashamed for what was coming out of his mouth.
Sakura had heard enough. She hugged him, once again sending him to the floor. This time Sasuke hugged her back. He knew that the feelings he had been getting from her were only a front. And now with that front torn down, the Sakura he knew was revealed. And he liked that one much better.
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone
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Fin.