I walk to the edge of the rock, my hand in my pocket, gripping it so hard the metal digs into my hand. It hurts.
I start to yell at the flaming ball in front of me.
"You want memories? You want pain, and sadness, and hurt, and then the entire opposite end of the spectrum-the ultimate happiness and feeling like... like it's worth it? Like all that pain is completely worth it, and no matter what else happens, you don't care, because you've got this moment? These moments?"
I pull out my hand and hold it far out, up to the sky, lit up with the colors of fire, swirling reds and oranges and yellows. I let the chain hang off my fingers. The little silver box sways, the microscopic diamonds catching the light.
"When I was born-before they ran the tests, before they were asking how my heart could be reflected across my chest, before they thought I was going to die-she wrote me a letter and put it in this little necklace and put it around my neck. Then the nurses came in and tried to swipe me away, telling her about the tests. She knew what happened. She knew who my dad was, even though she pretended like she didn't." I swallow. "She threw me at them. She didn't want me anymore." My hand holding out the necklace shakes hard, but I don't put it down. "They left me alone in a private room, trying to figure out what to do. I think-I think they were going to let me die in there." I try to continue, but it takes me a minute. I watch the swirling colors. "Then, a man walked into the room, walking like he belonged there, not like he was sneaking in to kidnap a three-hour-old baby, which is just what he was doing. He picked me up, and I had the greatest feeling. This man was connected to me. I felt like I understood him. Forget my age, I knew what was happening, because of who I was. Because of him. I knew, even then, that she didn't want me, and, even then, that hurt. A lot. Imagine being unwanted. Imagine being loved, and then tossed aside, when they find out something that you can't even tell from the outside.
"She doesn't love me. Still doesn't, and won't ever. But I don't care, because the Doctor chose to save me. He has been to the edge of the universe, all the way around. He's seen the end, and the beginning. In that order. He can't stop thinking about the people he's lost, he doesn't notice all the people he's saved. He says he's the loneliest man in the universe, but he has the biggest family of anyone." Now I'm grinning, my smile taking over my face. "So take it. Take this. It is the days I never had with my mother, the days that could've been. But you know what else it is? The days I've had with my dad, and the days to come. The wonderful days, full of life and adventures. And I can't wait for them."
The necklace turns into little particles of dust in the air, flying away, towards the brightness. The flames lick at the silver, eating the box.
He comes up by me and puts an arm around my shoulders. I lean into him a bit, my head against his side.
"Why did you keep that for fourteen years?"
"I thought maybe someday I'd open it."