Timeline: Harry Potter: 1998 (After DH); Artemis Fowl: shortly after TTP

Chapter 1: The Bad News and the Bad News

Contrary to popular belief, there were many things that Artemis Fowl the Second considered "fun." Hacking, for example, was fun. Solving quadratic equations was fun. Irritating a certain paranoid centaur was also fun. Going outside, however, was not fun. In fact, the only time one would find Artemis voluntarily outside facing the elements was during the short excursions between the Fowl mansion and the car, and the two hours each day on his horse. So when the family decided to go camping, well, Artemis politely declined, of course.

"So many people have decided to rent the site already and it only just opened," said Angeline, trying to persuade her son once more before they left for the campsite. "Wouldn't you like to experience it for yourself? After all, it was you who decided to buy the land for wildlife and nature preservation."

Artemis, however, did not easily change his mind. "No thank you mother. You know how… uh… disagreeable the great outdoors is with me. Besides, there has been some development with the Opal case and while she is still on the loose, there is no time for us to relax." After much discussion, the Fairy People had decided to allow Angeline Fowl keep her memories. It was only fair, after all she had been through.

Upon seeing his mother's worried face, Artemis added: "don't worry. Butler will keep me from any trouble."

Angeline pursed her lips, although she argued no more. "Well, if you change your mind, feel free to join us." She lowered her head to kiss Artemis on the cheek, a gesture that, after half a year, and a great deal of blushing and stiffness, he had gotten used to.

"You're only gone for a week. I can take care of myself. Now, I believe Juliet has already brought everything down to the car. Let's not make the twins wait any longer; they'll wreck the house with all their jumping around." He smiled genuinely and led her to the car.

***

"Well, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" said the centaur.

"I don't suppose it matters either way," said Artemis. "Although psychologically, the good news should be presented first to capture the attention of the listener. I could explain further, but I don't suppose we have the time."

The centaur muttered something that sounded like idiot mudboy.

"Yes, yes," Artemis replied. "The innocent idiot of a mudboy who has, again and again, saved both the human and fairy race from certain destruction while you, Foaly, could not."

"Innocent?" A new voice popped up by Artemis's ear, causing him to jump. Then the fairy herself materialized.

"Holly!" Artemis was puzzled. "But… How did you get in unnoticed? I created the security system myself. There shouldn't be any bugs… Even against fairy technology."

"Butler let in me." An impish grin played on her lips. "I wouldn't dare intrude upon your property without permission."

"Just like how Fowl there is Mr. Naïve," Foaly said. "Now before we get into our lovely bickering habit, let's talk about the issue at hand: Opal." When the two did not speak, he continued. "To make it short, the bad news is, she's broken out Present Opal." Obviously, he did not follow Artemis' advice.

"She broke out Present Opal?" Artemis frowned. "How? Didn't you increase the security on her?"

"Present Opal was no longer considered a threat since she gave up her magic and we assumed that Past Opal wouldn't be able to get past the new technology. After all, we've upgraded the security a lot over the past seven* years," explained Holly.

"Well, I supposed we can't brood on that for too long. What is the good news?" asked Artemis.

"We know where she is. According to the tracker we put on Present Opal, our criminals are approximately 400 kilometres west of the Fowl mansion."

Artemis felt himself tense. If 400 kilometres west was where he thought it was, things could get bad.

"What's the environment?" he said.

"How much do you like camping?"

Well now, Artemis thought wryly. I suppose I'll be camping with my family after all then. How fun.

*correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's seven.

A/N: Yeah, I know. It started off kinda slow, the title sucks and there is no sign of Harry and co. here, but if you have any comments –criticizing or complimentary – I would love to hear them. Thanks!

A/N2: I AM CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A BETA FOR THIS STORY. If you are someone who knows the worlds pretty well and can give constructive criticism on writing style and character portrayal, etc. and are interested in the story, please contact me.