Falling In Love
(A/N: This skips ahead hours, days, and weeks without notice.)
"…have everyone else here buying your 'transformation'. But you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past. So let me tell you something right now. You make one step backward, one slip-up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang…and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends right then and there…permanently." The sheer venom in Katara's voice made me take a step back. I shrank back into the shadows when she swept out of Zuko's room. That wasn't the sweet, caring waterbender I knew. And I didn't really want her to know that I had overheard what she said to Zuko.
Yesterday, Katara had made this big fuss over how I 'needed a firebending master.' I get one, and she promptly threatens to kill him if he makes one single mistake. Wonderful. I decided to continue with my original intentions, making sure that Zuko was comfortable in his room, and that he didn't need anything. I didn't fully trust him yet, but I still wanted him to be comfortable and happy. I also decided to try a little harder to be his friend. He could definitely use one.
"Sifu Hotman!" Zuko sighed at the nickname I had given him, but he had given up trying to get me to stop calling him that. "What are you going to teach me today?"
"Fire streams." I observed closely as demonstrated each stance of the kata, then did my best to mimic them. I made sure I messed up a little each time, though. That way Zuko would adjust my stance. I liked the way his hands felt as he guided my body into the proper position, the way his breath feathered the back of my head as his body lightly brushed against mine.
I was still in love with Katara, but honestly, the way she'd been acting ever since Zuko joined the group made my growing attraction to him easier to deal with. I had never been interested in guys, never been interested in anyone besides Katara, really. But ever since we'd danced together for the Masters, something had…changed in the way I looked at him. The way I thought about him. At first I had thought that it was just because I felt that I could trust him and that we were becoming friends, but now I wasn't so sure.
"Do you have to touch him like that? Like you're trying to cop a feel or something?" Katara's voice was cold. I had completely forgotten that she was 'observing' my training today. Whoops. I felt Zuko stiffen at Katara's words. He also felt a few degrees warmer than he usually did.
"Yes, Katara, I do. I am adjusting his stance, not 'trying to cop a feel.'" The words sounded like they were spoken through gritted teeth.
"You touch me like that when you're training me, Katara. Are you trying to cop a feel too?" I smiled, trying to defuse some of the tension. I failed miserably.
"I do not touch you like that! He was practically groping you, Aang." (A/N: Zuko was not. His hands were on Aang's forearms, and Katara did the exact same thing when she was teaching him the 'octopus form.')
"What's this about Sparky groping Twinkletoes?" Oh, great. Now Toph was over here.
"He was not groping me, Toph. He was adjusting my stance." She laughed.
"Is that what they're calling it these days?"
"No! That's what it was. He's twelve for spirits' sake! What kind of pervert do you think I am?" Zuko stormed off before anyone could react. His words hurt. Was that how he saw me? As a child?
"Thank you, Katara. Now you've alienated my Firebending Master with your unfounded suspicions." I raced after Zuko, ignoring the way her beautiful blue eyes widened with hurt. I shouldn't have taken it out on her. But I didn't care. What I cared about was finding Zuko. "Zuko! Where are you?"
"Over here, Aang." He was sitting on the ledge of the Air Temple, staring out over the canyon.
"I'm sorry for what Katara said. And Toph was just teasing. That's just how she is. She doesn't actually think you're a pervert."
"You shouldn't apologize for her, Aang."
"Why not? She certainly won't apologize for herself." He smiled slightly at me. I rested my hand on his arm. "Now that we're alone, will you finish teaching me that kata?"
"Of course."
"Besides, I'm 112. If anyone's a pervert, it's me."
"You are not a pervert, Aang. Mentally and physically you are twelve years old. If you want to date a fourteen year old, then that's perfectly fine." I hadn't seen him this intense since he joined the group. He teaches me how to make fire streams, although I can't help but feel that there's a barrier between us. He doesn't touch me again the rest of our lesson.
I lay awake that night, unable to sleep. Zuko continued maintaining a careful distance between us all day. Katara seemed almost…triumphant when she noticed this. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and it began to rain. Wonderful. I hated storms. I sighed and slipped out of my sleeping sack. I figure I'll take a walk, try to wait out the storm, and try to figure out how to get my previous closeness back with Zuko.
I wind up walking past Zuko's room. The storm is only getting worse, and closer. A particularly loud rumble makes me jump. A warm hand closed around my wrist and tugged me closer.
"Aang? Are you all right?"
"Yeah…I just don't like storms, that's all."
"Sleep with me."
"What?"
"It might help. When I was younger, my uncle would let me sleep with him when I was scared. I won't try anything. I promise." Oh, great. Zuko definitely thought of me as a child.
"I'm not a child!" I turn away, intending to go back to the sleeping area with the others. He grabs my arm, and turns me back around. His mouth crushes against mine as he flattens me against his chest. He pulls away after a moment and just stares at me, blushing slightly.
"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You love Katara, and I shouldn't try to come between you two." I had been sure I still loved her before Zuko kissed me. Now I was confused. If I loved Katara, wasn't it wrong to have enjoyed Zuko's kiss as much as I had? Thunder rumbled, almost deafeningly loud. I flinched.
"Zuko? Does your offer still stand?" He smiled at me, and nodded.
I pressed myself close to his chest as we lay facing each other. He rubs my back gently as thunder rumbles overhead.
"Why do you fear storms?"
"It stormed when I was running away. I saw the monks and nuns in the sky. Monk Gyatso asked me where I was, said they needed me. I should have gone back. Lightning almost hit me as I was flying on Appa, and I ended up in the iceberg where Sokka and Katara found me. I found out later they had all died fighting the Fire Nation."
"They would have died whether you'd been there or not. The only difference is, you would have died with them. Probably in the Avatar State, which means the cycle would have broken and Sozin would have won the war before it ever really began." If Zuko meant to make me feel better, he failed miserably. At least he tried, though.
I reached up and brushed my fingers lightly across his scar. "How did you get this?" He flinched slightly.
"My father gave it to me. There was a war meeting, and I talked my uncle into letting me attend. I spoke out of turn, defending some soldiers. My father said that I had to fight an Agni Kai because I had insulted the general whose plan I had criticized. I was expecting the general. I turned around and it was my father. I begged for his forgiveness. He said I was weak, that I needed to learn respect, and that suffering would be my teacher. Uncle told me when I woke up that I had been banished, that I couldn't go home until I had captured the Avatar. Until I had captured you."
"Why were you so desperate to return to a man who had done that to you?"
"My whole life I tried so hard to please him. To earn his love. I thought that if I brought him the prize he wanted he would finally love me." That was one of the saddest things I had ever heard. I knew Zuko well enough to know that he wouldn't want pity-mine or anyone else's. It didn't really answer my question, but it was probably the best answer I was going to get.
"What was your relationship with your father like, Aang?"
"I never knew him. My mother either. I was given to the monks to raise when I was very young, too young to remember them. Monk Gyatso was the closest thing to a father that I had, and he was more like a best friend."
"Oh." We lay in silence after that. I was almost asleep when Zuko whispered my name. "Aang? Are you still awake?" I stayed quiet, curious as to what he wanted to say. He waited a moment more. When I didn't answer, he pressed a soft kiss to my tattoo. "I love you." Zuko loved me? No one had ever told me that before. I was glad he thought I was asleep, though, since I wasn't sure how to respond. "Sleep tight, my beautiful Avatar." It had always annoyed me when people called me 'Avatar' instead of 'Aang.' But I didn't really mind when Zuko called me his 'beautiful Avatar.'
I was not jealous. I didn't mind that Zuko had gone hunting with Sokka. Alone. I didn't mind that they had been gone for three days now. I kept telling myself that, over and over. It wasn't working. I was going out of my mind with jealousy. I also did not appreciate the fact that Zuko had given me homework. Katara was in a horrible mood, too. She had different reasons, though. She was convinced that Zuko was going to hurt Sokka. I was annoyed that Zuko had told me he loved me then went off with another guy the very next night.
"Incoming airship!" My head snapped up at Pipsqueak's shout. I raced over to where Pipsqueak was. The airship was huge. It looked like one of the ones Azula had used when she was bombing the submarines after our invasion failed. "Is it coming in for a landing?" Katara and Toph joined us.
"It looks like it. Is that Sokka? What is he doing on an airship?"
"See, Katara? I told you Zuko wasn't going to hurt him." She glared at me, then turned back to Zuko and Sokka as they walked out of the airship.
"What are you doing in this thing? What happened to the war balloon?"
"It kind of got destroyed."
"Sounds like a crazy hunting trip." There was no way they'd been hunting. What had they been doing? I struggled to keep my jealousy out of my voice.
"Did you at least get some good meat?" Toph sounded exasperated.
"I did. The best meat of all. The meat of friendship and fatherhood." Suki and Chief Hakoda walked out of the airship as Sokka finished talking, followed by a big guy I didn't recognize. The big guy waved.
"I'm new. What's up everybody?" Katara ran to embrace her father. Zuko walked over to me as Sokka was drawn into the embrace. I suddenly felt awkward. Zuko didn't know that I had been awake when he made his confession. He probably wouldn't have made it if he had.
"Where did you guys really go? There's no way you found Suki and Hakoda on a hunting trip."
"We went to a Fire Nation prison." I blinked. I glanced over to make sure Katara wasn't looking this way. The last thing I wanted was for her reunion with her father to be ruined by her hatred of Zuko. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He hugged back after a moment.
"I'm glad you made it back alright, Zuko."
"Me, too."
Zuko had gone on another field trip. With Katara this time. I was even more jealous then I had been when he went on his field trip with Sokka. I had started thinking about Zuko differently after my field trip with him. What if Katara did, too? I was convinced by this point that I was in love with both of them. What if Zuko decided he wanted to be with Katara once she stopped being horrible to him? Having my heart broken by one person would be bad enough. Having it broken by two people at the same time would be even worse.
A warm hand landed on my shoulder. I turned around to see Zuko standing there. "You're back!" I was delighted to see him. Particularly since he didn't have any hickeys from Katara. At least not that I could see. Of course, he knew how I felt about her. He probably would have been careful to make sure any hickeys were out of sight. He smiled at me.
"You were right, Aang. Violence wasn't the answer." We both turned to look at Katara where she was sitting on the end of the dock. "I thought for a moment that she would kill him, but she ended up sparing him."
"Violence is never the answer." He looked at me.
"What are you going to do when you face my father, then?" I looked at him. Zuko might pretend otherwise, but it was evident, deep down inside, that he had some kind of feelings for his father.
"I have no idea. I'll think of something." Katara stood up and walked over to us.
"I couldn't forgive him. I don't think I'll ever be able to. But I am ready to forgive you." She threw her arms around Zuko and hugged him. I bit my lip and looked away as he hugged her back. She pulled away after a moment. I was glad she'd forgiven him, but I couldn't help feeling jealous every time they touched or smiled at each other.
"Toph, can I talk to you?" We were on Ember Island, staying in the Fire Lord's vacation home. Zuko had assured us that Ozai never came here, that he hadn't come here for years, so we would be safe. It was a good thing Katara had forgiven him before he made that suggestion; otherwise we would probably still be camping out in the wilderness.
"Sure, Twinkletoes. What do you want to talk about?"
"I'm confused. I love Katara, but I love Zuko too. I'm not sure what I should do." Toph laughed.
"Have you tried kissing both of them and seeing which one you prefer?" She was making fun of me, but it wasn't like I had anyone else I could turn to. Our group had split up after Azula attacked us at the Western Air Temple. I couldn't go to Sokka, he was Katara's brother. Suki was his girlfriend, so she would go to Sokka. And Zuko and Katara were out for obvious reasons.
"Yes, Toph, I have. And honestly, I liked kissing Zuko better. But I still have feelings for Katara. And Zuko told me he loved me when he thought I was asleep. Katara's never given any indication that she thought of me as anything but a friend." When I put it like that, Zuko was definitely winning.
"Sparky told you he loved you?" She sounded surprised.
"Yeah. It was the night before he and Sokka went to the Boiling Rock."
"I think you should go with Sparky, personally. But since you're confused, you should tell each one how you feel, and see how they react. That should make your decision easier. Of course, if they both love you, and they both tell you so, you'll be in the same position you are now." That was a good idea. Sokka was insisting that they attend some stupid play that night. That would provide a good opportunity to get at least one of them alone.
The play was horrible. Even worse than I'd expected. I had been hoping to sit between Zuko and Katara, but Zuko sat next to her so I just sat next to him. I was played by a woman. A woman. Zuko and Sokka had both snickered when she first popped out of the iceberg. I was glad they found it funny, because I certainly didn't. Toph was the only one who seemed happy with how they were represented by the actors. Probably because she was played by a big, brawny guy.
I tried to get one of them alone during the intermission, but I failed miserably. Katara and Suki were talking about how inaccurate the portrayals of them were, and Zuko and Toph were discussing something about Iroh. I didn't want to interrupt either conversation, so I joined Sokka in the line to get some snacks. We made small talk while waiting for our turn to buy Fire Flakes and Fire Gummies. I wasn't paying much attention to what we were talking about. I was focusing on what I was going to say to Zuko and Katara.
The second half of the play was even worse then the first half. Zuko and I ended up dying at the end, which made everyone except our little group cheer wildly. I had known I wasn't exactly popular in the Fire Nation, but wanting me dead? I was stunned. Zuko looked pretty upset too. I slipped out and went onto the balcony of the playhouse. Katara joined me a minute later.
"Aang? That stuff in the play about me and Zuko…you know that never happened, right?" I blinked at her, surprised. That wasn't what I was upset about, but at least it gave me an opportunity to tell her how I felt.
"Yeah, I know. Katara?" Now that I had the perfect opportunity, I wasn't sure how exactly to tell her I loved her. I decided on the blunt approach. "I love you. I've loved you for a long time, actually. I just haven't been sure how to tell you." I smiled shyly at her, wondering how she would respond.
"Aang, I-I think you really sweet, and all, but with the war and everything…. I'm sorry. I'm just confused. I'm not really sure how I feel about you, Aang." I felt my heart sink at her words. I leaned forward and kissed her. She pulled back, looking annoyed.
"Aang! I said I was confused!"
"I-I'm sorry." I backed away and then ran inside. Well, that answered that question. Now I just had to find the perfect opportunity to tell Zuko I loved him, and hope that he wouldn't reject me like Katara had.
The war was over. I had defeated Ozai, without killing him. Zuko had been crowned the Fire Lord in Ozai's place. Zuko had promised at his coronation a 'new era of peace and love.' I had been going to tell him how I felt before his coronation, but I froze up. I didn't want to risk him rejecting me, and causing tension between us right before he addressed his people, and the soldiers from the other nations that had helped us defeat the Fire Nation Army. Zuko had told me he loved me, but his feelings could have changed in the weeks since. Or he could still love me, but not want to be in a relationship with me since we were both guys. And there was the fact that we both needed children, since I was the last Airbender, and he was the Fire Lord. There were many reasons why we shouldn't be together, why Zuko should reject me.
Katara kept glancing at me and smiling slightly. I was curious as to what she meant by that, but not enough to ask her. I was debating internally whether I should tell Zuko I loved him or not when I saw him walk out onto the balcony of Iroh's teashop in Ba Sing Se. I decided to take a chance. I mean, the worst thing he could do was reject me, after all. I followed him out there.
"Zuko?" He glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled slightly. Spirits, did he ever look good in Earth Kingdom clothes. Such a shame he was Fire Nation. Although his Fire Lord robes looked good on him, too. I took a deep breath, and stepped closer to him. "I-I love you." Oh, how I hoped he wouldn't reject like Katara had. "I-um…" I wasn't sure how to continue. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him.
"I love you, too, Aang." He seemed to be debating whether or not to continue. He bent his head and kissed me instead. I kissed back, winding my arms around his neck as he pressed me close to him. I thought I heard someone come out onto the balcony, heard a small gasp, but I was too busy enjoying what Zuko was doing to pay any mind. This kiss was way better then the one outside his room during the storm. I was glad that I had told Zuko, how I felt, and I was even kinda glad that Katara had rejected me.