All right all, I'm now going to re-write my first fic. I've heard the
complaints, it's too long, put it into chapters. I was going to do this but
seeing as nobody ever read it I decided not to. Now however I'm looking at
it and don't like what I see. So I'm going to re-write it anyway. I hope
this time however that maybe more people will read it. Now, I'm going to
get to the writing of the first chapter and I hope that somebody reviews
it. Onward!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. They are all trademarks of Warner Bros. Inc. and JK Rowling. I do however own the pitiful plot.
~@~
The wind howled through the air. Loose leaves on the ground were quickly plucked up and swept by the winds currents. The weather was miserable and generally unpleasant. It had been raining for the past few days. Now however the downpour had let up and was merely a fine mist of rain. Most people were indoors enjoying a nice warm fire while sitting under a comfortable blanket. This was indoor weather. However there was one individual that wasn't enjoying this weather. In fact, this person was outside at this very moment.
As the person exhaled the air would form small misty vapors. It was cold, yet the person seemed un-phased by this standing stoically in position looking at his wristwatch every now and again. To the normal person, this would seem normal, a person examining his or her watch as if waiting for somebody. However, this watch was not as normal as it appeared to be. It was in fact a very extraordinary watch. When used properly it would reveal not only the time and date, but also the locations of specified individuals.
The figure sighed and yet another small vapor appeared after the exhalation. The rain started to fall harder again and the person examined their watch again. He looked in the window of a small nearby tavern, seeing the dim lights shining through the darkened windows. It was as if the light beckoned him inside, inviting him to the most likely warmer interior.
"He's late again. He knows I hate it when people are late." The figure muttered silently and smirked a little, thinking to the bygone days of youth when he didn't really care about being on time that much.
The person was snapped out of his train of thought when he felt a hand on his shoulder. In one quick motion he grabbed the hand, turned his body and twisted the persons arm. With the agility of a cat he was behind the owner of the hand in an instant, twisting the arm and ready to snap it in an instant.
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!! It's only me!" The owner of the arm shouted out in shock.
"Rebeire? Is that you?" the man said still firmly gripping the other mans arm.
"Yes! YES! It's me mate! Damn it, let go, before you snap my arm off!" The man called Rebeire yelled.
"Alright, alright. But you should know better Rebeire. You're late." The man said slowly releasing Rebeire's arm.
"Right, sorry, it's this weather. Everything seems to slow down if you know what I mean." Rebeire said rubbing his arm.
"No I don't. Just because muggles are affected thusly in this weather, does not mean that we are. I expect more of you Rebeire. Now let's get down to business." The man said in a dark and menacing voice.
Rebeire shivered at the way the man answered him.
"Er, yeah, right, sorry mate. This stuff happens." Rebeire said in a nervous voice.
The other man rose an eyebrow in suspicion but made nothing of it.
"Right, let's go then. We should have been at the rendezvous point five minutes ago! We must hurry up, we can't keep the contact waiting." The man said and then walked off in a hurried manner.
"Oh yes, right mate. We mustn't be late for the contact." Rebeire said with a strange tone in his voice.
He then ran after what seemed his superior and kept in step with him.
~@~
After a few moments of walking the two men arrived to their destination. They had gone through a series of dark alleyways and one or two secret passages hidden to the untrained eye. Soon they arrived in front of a two- story building that looked very dilapidated. Standing in front of the door and looking to see that nobody was around the figure knocked on the door. He knocked once, three times, once and then twice. Slowly the door swung open and creaked its hinges complaining for the lack of oil on it to make the swinging process easier.
They stepped onto the first floor and went through another hidden passage in the room. Upon entering the small room they had to adjust their eyes to the dim light, which was provided by only a solitary candle. After blinking a few times his eyes were finally accustomed to the light settings. A small square table was in the center of the room surrounded by three chairs. The figure sat down with a sigh feeling his tired muscles ache and relax as he sat down.
"Right, you wait here mate, I'm going to go and make sure that nobody followed us. Never can be too careful." Rebeire said starting to leave.
"What do you mean followed? Nobody has ever successfully followed me and lived to tell the tale. I was double-checking as we were making our way here Rebeire. I always check you know that." The man said in harsh tone, the end being filled with suspicion.
"Er, yeah, I know that. But like I said, one can never be too careful eh? Look, it's just a precaution." Rebeire said and quickly disappeared.
The other man took his hat off his head and shook it off getting rid of the water that was still on it. He may have looked weary, because he was, but his mind was working at a mile a minute at this point. Many questions were springing up in his mind. Questions like: 'Why was Rebeire acting so suspiciously? Why was he late in the first place? And why does he have this uneasy feeling in his stomach?' A feeling of some sort of impending doom seemed to be setting in.
His thoughts were interrupted as Rebeire came back followed by another person. He looked at his friend as he sat down and then at the other person. Judging by body size and the light way the person walked, the ease of step, he assumed that this was a woman. Strange, he thought, that the person they were to meet was a woman. He was sure the contact was a man. He shrugged, maybe he was just getting old or paranoid. Most likely both he thought and allowed himself an inward smile while he maintained his stone like facial features. He noted that the other person was also wearing a hat, but it showed no sign of wetness meaning that this person has been waiting for a while or hadn't been out at all.
"Well mate, I'm back and look who I ran into!" Rebeire gestured to the other person that had just sat down and he seated himself.
He looked at the seated figure, the one he assumed was a woman, and looked at her with his cold eyes. He was sure he saw her shudder when he did this. Often people had shuddered or felt uneasy under his gaze when they had something to hide. Many whom he had interrogated had cracked within minutes. He was about to open his mouth and speak when Rebeire spoke first.
"I see you've taken off your hat, good idea that mate. Makes our job that much easier." he said and started chuckling.
This comment quickly alerted him, but not quickly enough because before he could move for his wand he found himself flat on the floor having been blasted by a pre-prepared spell. He lay gasping for breath as he felt the world around him start to spin and then slowly become fuzzy until he was enveloped by the darkness offered by unconsciousness.
~@~
Right, there we go, that's chapter one done. There is still a number of chapters in this story, I'll get to working on chapter two now. I don't know it chapter three will immediately follow, I want to first get some response before I carry on. Now that the story is going to be put into chapters, it should make reading easier. Please give me some feedback; it would really be appreciated, as I would like to improve this story as much as possible.
Cheers Lost in a World of Pain
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. They are all trademarks of Warner Bros. Inc. and JK Rowling. I do however own the pitiful plot.
~@~
The wind howled through the air. Loose leaves on the ground were quickly plucked up and swept by the winds currents. The weather was miserable and generally unpleasant. It had been raining for the past few days. Now however the downpour had let up and was merely a fine mist of rain. Most people were indoors enjoying a nice warm fire while sitting under a comfortable blanket. This was indoor weather. However there was one individual that wasn't enjoying this weather. In fact, this person was outside at this very moment.
As the person exhaled the air would form small misty vapors. It was cold, yet the person seemed un-phased by this standing stoically in position looking at his wristwatch every now and again. To the normal person, this would seem normal, a person examining his or her watch as if waiting for somebody. However, this watch was not as normal as it appeared to be. It was in fact a very extraordinary watch. When used properly it would reveal not only the time and date, but also the locations of specified individuals.
The figure sighed and yet another small vapor appeared after the exhalation. The rain started to fall harder again and the person examined their watch again. He looked in the window of a small nearby tavern, seeing the dim lights shining through the darkened windows. It was as if the light beckoned him inside, inviting him to the most likely warmer interior.
"He's late again. He knows I hate it when people are late." The figure muttered silently and smirked a little, thinking to the bygone days of youth when he didn't really care about being on time that much.
The person was snapped out of his train of thought when he felt a hand on his shoulder. In one quick motion he grabbed the hand, turned his body and twisted the persons arm. With the agility of a cat he was behind the owner of the hand in an instant, twisting the arm and ready to snap it in an instant.
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!! It's only me!" The owner of the arm shouted out in shock.
"Rebeire? Is that you?" the man said still firmly gripping the other mans arm.
"Yes! YES! It's me mate! Damn it, let go, before you snap my arm off!" The man called Rebeire yelled.
"Alright, alright. But you should know better Rebeire. You're late." The man said slowly releasing Rebeire's arm.
"Right, sorry, it's this weather. Everything seems to slow down if you know what I mean." Rebeire said rubbing his arm.
"No I don't. Just because muggles are affected thusly in this weather, does not mean that we are. I expect more of you Rebeire. Now let's get down to business." The man said in a dark and menacing voice.
Rebeire shivered at the way the man answered him.
"Er, yeah, right, sorry mate. This stuff happens." Rebeire said in a nervous voice.
The other man rose an eyebrow in suspicion but made nothing of it.
"Right, let's go then. We should have been at the rendezvous point five minutes ago! We must hurry up, we can't keep the contact waiting." The man said and then walked off in a hurried manner.
"Oh yes, right mate. We mustn't be late for the contact." Rebeire said with a strange tone in his voice.
He then ran after what seemed his superior and kept in step with him.
~@~
After a few moments of walking the two men arrived to their destination. They had gone through a series of dark alleyways and one or two secret passages hidden to the untrained eye. Soon they arrived in front of a two- story building that looked very dilapidated. Standing in front of the door and looking to see that nobody was around the figure knocked on the door. He knocked once, three times, once and then twice. Slowly the door swung open and creaked its hinges complaining for the lack of oil on it to make the swinging process easier.
They stepped onto the first floor and went through another hidden passage in the room. Upon entering the small room they had to adjust their eyes to the dim light, which was provided by only a solitary candle. After blinking a few times his eyes were finally accustomed to the light settings. A small square table was in the center of the room surrounded by three chairs. The figure sat down with a sigh feeling his tired muscles ache and relax as he sat down.
"Right, you wait here mate, I'm going to go and make sure that nobody followed us. Never can be too careful." Rebeire said starting to leave.
"What do you mean followed? Nobody has ever successfully followed me and lived to tell the tale. I was double-checking as we were making our way here Rebeire. I always check you know that." The man said in harsh tone, the end being filled with suspicion.
"Er, yeah, I know that. But like I said, one can never be too careful eh? Look, it's just a precaution." Rebeire said and quickly disappeared.
The other man took his hat off his head and shook it off getting rid of the water that was still on it. He may have looked weary, because he was, but his mind was working at a mile a minute at this point. Many questions were springing up in his mind. Questions like: 'Why was Rebeire acting so suspiciously? Why was he late in the first place? And why does he have this uneasy feeling in his stomach?' A feeling of some sort of impending doom seemed to be setting in.
His thoughts were interrupted as Rebeire came back followed by another person. He looked at his friend as he sat down and then at the other person. Judging by body size and the light way the person walked, the ease of step, he assumed that this was a woman. Strange, he thought, that the person they were to meet was a woman. He was sure the contact was a man. He shrugged, maybe he was just getting old or paranoid. Most likely both he thought and allowed himself an inward smile while he maintained his stone like facial features. He noted that the other person was also wearing a hat, but it showed no sign of wetness meaning that this person has been waiting for a while or hadn't been out at all.
"Well mate, I'm back and look who I ran into!" Rebeire gestured to the other person that had just sat down and he seated himself.
He looked at the seated figure, the one he assumed was a woman, and looked at her with his cold eyes. He was sure he saw her shudder when he did this. Often people had shuddered or felt uneasy under his gaze when they had something to hide. Many whom he had interrogated had cracked within minutes. He was about to open his mouth and speak when Rebeire spoke first.
"I see you've taken off your hat, good idea that mate. Makes our job that much easier." he said and started chuckling.
This comment quickly alerted him, but not quickly enough because before he could move for his wand he found himself flat on the floor having been blasted by a pre-prepared spell. He lay gasping for breath as he felt the world around him start to spin and then slowly become fuzzy until he was enveloped by the darkness offered by unconsciousness.
~@~
Right, there we go, that's chapter one done. There is still a number of chapters in this story, I'll get to working on chapter two now. I don't know it chapter three will immediately follow, I want to first get some response before I carry on. Now that the story is going to be put into chapters, it should make reading easier. Please give me some feedback; it would really be appreciated, as I would like to improve this story as much as possible.
Cheers Lost in a World of Pain