Author's Note: I did an angsty fic, because I can and I wanted to. Hope you like
It's a beautiful day. The clouds are white and puffy and just floating everywhere. The sky is blue and limitless to boundaries. The sun is golden, the birds are singing, and everything's perfect.
Except…
It's not perfect.
Why?
Because Tony Stark is dead.
The world may have lost another man, some self-absorbed billionaire, some genius, but they move on. They think another will come in the future, because that's the way it has been. Leonardo Da Vinci. Albert Einstein. John Nash.
Tony Stark.
God. After all the things the Avengers had gone through, you'd think that Tony would have died by some evil monster Godzilla thing. Instead, he was killed by a car accident. A fucking car accident.
Bruce would've laughed at the whole thing, but he was too busy trying to keep his sobs reigned in, to keep the Hulk from coming out. The Hulk came out anyway in the Hulk-out room. He roared and smashed and said things like, "WHERE TIN MAN!" and other things like "TIN MAN COME HERE OR HULK SMASH!" This went on for hours, and it hurt because the last time the Hulk had made such a fit over something, Tony had been the one to help. He had crouched down next to Bruce, who had shamefully covered his face with his hands, and said,
"Hey. Bruce, look at me. No, my face is not on the floor and it's insulting that you think so. Yeah, that's better." Tony had taken one look at those eyes, shiny with unshed tears, and enveloped the slightly taller man in a hug.
"You don't understand," mumbled Bruce. "I killed them. The whole family, I killed them." Bruce could still see the family. All blondes, with a cute bouncing baby, a little girl, a teenage boy, and a doting mom and dad. They were happy. Why did they get in the way? Why did he have to Hulk out just then?
"I know," Tony said. He didn't offer false condolences, just rubbing Bruce's back with tender care. "It's okay big guy."
And then, Bruce realized that Tony was comforting both him and the Hulk. "It's okay," soothed Tony. "It's okay. You have a family. We'll take care of you. Just let it all out." Bruce's shoulders started shaking, and he leaned on Tony and cried a bit. The most he had in a while. "Shhh," Tony whispered.
Blinking blearily, Bruce muttered a small "Thanks."
Tony winked as Bruce was taken away by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, not even struggling when one handcuffed Tony himself for 'suspicious behavioral activities'. "What are science bros for? By the way, I got this new needle that I found. Can I test it on you?"
Bruce let a small smile to appear on his lips.
Natasha looked at Bruce, who was quivering from the effort to keep the Hulk from coming out again to see Tony's last gift for them all. He had left little notes, little clues, relating to his death. J.A.R.V.I.S. wouldn't tell what the gift was, but he didn't seem to want to talk, anyway. Natasha strolled on, cool and collected. The fact that Tony had anticipated his death to be sooner than the Avengers, and that he had prepared something for them, didn't faze her at all. Nope. Not one bit. Natasha didn't care. Natasha was fine, and she had a heart of stone.
Until she saw the picture on the wall.
Natasha nearly walked right into Bruce. She stopped, just staring at that picture. It was in Disney World, when Tony had joked she needed to go there to lighten up.
"Isn't this fun?!" shouted Natasha through the speed of the roller coasters. This was the only time she could let loose, and to be honest, she thought, what the hell. Live and let live. Tony, looking a bit green on the edges, clung to Natasha's hand.
"Yeah, sure," he squeaked as the roller coaster did an unexpected, jagged turn. "Fun. So fun. We should do this more oft-" he was cut off by another loop. Screaming bloody murder, Tony squeezed Natasha's hand even tighter. Natasha was pretty sure she heard some bones crack.
"Woo-hoo!" Natasha screamed. Damn, this was a side of her she never exposed, but come on. Roller coasters were awesome.
By the time the ride ended, Natasha hopped off with easy grace while Tony stumbled back to the concrete, looking like he wanted to kiss it. "That was amazing," breathed Natasha. She carefully arranged her face to that stoic mask but Tony stopped her.
"Hey, no!" he gasped, still out of breath. "This is like the first time you've full out smiled. C'mon Tasha. Liven up a little."
Natasha arched an unimpressed eyebrow.
"Okay, fine, but at least let me take a picture. Okay? Lemme save it. And then I promise you can drag me to whatever torture you find next," Tony said, looking vaguely sick at the thought of riding another roller coaster.
"Promise?" asked Natasha sweetly, looking at Tony with an expression that said, you better keep your word, or I will hunt you down and kill you.
"Yeah," said Tony a bit weakly. "Yeah, I promise." Rummaging through his bag and finding his camera, Tony pressed himself closer to Natasha. "Smile!" he said, aiming a big grin to the camera.
When the picture came out, Natasha and Tony were wearing two, identical, shit-eating smiles.
Closing her eyes briefly, Natasha straightened up and followed Bruce, still twitching and showing hints of olive green. Thor's big, lumbering footsteps followed Natasha as she passed his bedroom. He was quiet, unusually so. Those baby blues looked sad and dim. He was clutching Mjolnir with a death grip, and his face looked aged and wary. "Thor," said Natasha, nodding. Thor didn't answer, and that itself was a surprise. He looked at the kitchen as they passed, finding more scribbled notes of Tony's hurried writing that said, 'you're getting closer!' And 'soooo hot! Like, I don't think cold even exists now.' This was so Tony. Thor's thoughts drove him back to the time Tony had taught him to make home-made pop-tarts, eyes lingering on the unopened package of pop-tarts lying innocently on the kitchen counter, along with a few other home-baked goods .
"No! No, oh my God, what have you done?" gasped Tony.
Thor grinned, proudly showing off his homemade pop-tarts. "I have made your delicious Midguardian meal, Friend Anthony," he told Tony pointedly, "And allow me to assure you, these will be the best you will have ever taste!"
Tony stared in horror at the glop of barely cooked dough sparkled with dozens of sprinkles, the too-sweet cream you buy in Wal-mart, and something that looked like a twitching dead ant, all lumped together into this horrible, horrible mess. "I think I have a new nightmare now," whispered Tony in awe.
"Friend Anthony, would you like a taste?" Thor offered politely, beaming a smile at him.
"No," coughed Tony. "Nonononono nope. It's all yours, Point Break. You deserve it."
Thor shrugged. "If you insist, Man of Iron." And with that, he popped the pastry (could it even be called a pastry?) into his mouth. Tony looked on in horrid fascination.
Thor swallowed. "Chewy," he said with a thoughtful frown. "Very chewy. Not crispy at all, I am afraid. Very sweet, as well, and there appears to be a dead insect stuck in my teeth." He opened his mouth to Tony, who paled a bit.
"That's nice big guy," Tony swallowed. "Real nice. I…I think I need to use the bathroom."
Thor said, "Not so fast, Man of Iron. Not before you taste my cooking." Before Tony could protest, Thor shoved the pastry (?) into his mouth. He forced Tony to chew.
"Very…delicious," Tony managed to choke out. "I really need to go to the bathroom now." He raced off before Thor could say anything else.
Frowning, Thor cocked his head. With his keen hearing, he thought he heard Tony retching. Huh. It must have been the imagination.
Thor's head was bowed, and he didn't notice Clint, staring at his arrows, fingering them delicately, thinking how long it must have took Tony to make. He didn't notice the assassin's face crumbling for a moment before resuming its stoic façade. He didn't notice the faraway look Clint got as the sunlight shined down on his bow.
"Stark," growled Clint. "You are gonna be so dead when I find out. I told you my arrows weren't for touching! What part of 'no touching' did you not understand! I tried hard to be nice, but…but…whoa." For a moment, Clint let himself be immersed at the sight of Tony Stark polishing his bow and arrow with such care that it looked like he was polishing a jewel instead.
"I hope you don't mind," Tony said casually. "I sort of upgraded it." He tossed the bow to Clint. "Catch."
Cursing out loud, Clint rushed to the bow, but the bow flew back to him, as if ordered to do so. At Clint's incredulous look, Tony shrugged. "I saw the metallic stuff you got. Pretty good for this, you know? The metal's nice and rare."
Clint stared for a moment too long. "Tony, I-"
"Oh, and check out the bows!" interrupted Tony enthusiastically. "They're so awesome, right? Laced with the most lethal poison I could find." This time, he carefully walked over to Clint and showed him the arrows. "Careful. They're only lethal when shot at, so it's pretty cool. Took forever to make, though."
Clint just gawped at the man. Finally, he simply hugged Tony tightly for a moment before letting go. "Thanks Tony," he said sincerely.
Tony's shocked expression greeted him. "A-Any time," he managed to say. Before Clint escaped to the air vents, he caught a glimpse of a fleeting, warm smile on Tony's face.
The others met Steve outside, sketching furiously in his sketchpad. "J.A.R.V.I.S. said I had to wait for you," he answered to their questioning looks. Flipping absent-mindedly though the pages, one deeply colored one caught his attention. Carefully thumbing to that page, Steve saw Anthony Edward Stark's picture right there, nestled in his hands. He was grinning that wicked grin, his eyes so full of life, his hair messy and his hands greasy with motor oil. He looked happy. He looked alive.
"…right Cap?" said Tony. He started flipping the blue holoscreens with alarming speed, and Steve could only try to sketch the intelligence and warmth in Tony's eyes.
"Cap?"
That wicked, gorgeous smile. Those hands, never still, always working.
"Cap!"
Steve jolted. "What? Yes! Totally. I agree," he rambled.
Tony shot him a fond smile and shook his head. "You weren't listening," he sighed. "That's okay, but you really need to learn how to use a StarkPad. I mean, you can't just call me during meetings and-Steve. Are you even listening?"
Steve nodded distractedly. "You're right," he answered automatically.
Tony frowned thoughtfully. "Steve, you're such a prude," he told him.
"I agree," said Steve.
"You're a prissy lady."
"That's true."
"You love me so much, your heart literally stops when it's near me."
"Yes, very true."
"Okay Steve, what are you doing? You're totally not listening to me," Tony said, an amused look on his face.
"I agree," Steve answered distractedly. Tony hopped out of his stool and strolled over. He peered over Steve's shoulders and gasped.
Steve stiffened.
"That's…me?" Tony asked. Steve winced.
"I didn't mean for you to find out this way," he confessed. "I mean, you probably feel violated, and I'm super sorry I did it without your permission, but I couldn't help it because you looked so alive and well and Tony you have to believe me when I say-"
Tony shushed him with a wave of his hand. "Cap," he said quietly after a pregnant pause. Tears formed in his eyes, and Steve watched in shock as one dripped to his cheeks. "Cap. Steve, this…this is beautiful." Tony beamed a great smile at Steve, and Steve could only watch as Tony's smile grew into a wonderful grin. "Steve….thanks. For everything," he added sincerely.
"Uh…yeah. No problem, I-"
"Great. Now, let's talk about your little problem of blocking me out of your contacts on your StarkPhone and-"
"It was an accident, Tony! I-"
"And let's not forget the time where you called Fury to ask him where he put your favorite pink boxers and-"
"Okay, first off, I thought Fury was you! And they weren't pink. They were a very nice shade of reddish white."
"Coughpinkcough."
"What was that?"
"Nothing Cap! Nothing."
"That's what I thought."
Bittersweet. That was what Steve felt right now. The sound of a helicarrier whizzed by and landed with absolutely no grace at all. Fury was piloting, and Maria Hills was right next to him, both wearing expressions of blankness. He wanted to scream at them, tell them to at least act sorry. Pepper Potts was with them, face blotchy and still crying so hard that her whole body shook. They all gathered next to Steve, gazing at Tony's grinning face. It made Pepper cry even more. A minute later, the Iron Patriot descended into the ground, making the grass blow in all directions. The face plate lifted, and Rhodey's red-rimmed eyes were painfully visible.
"Rhodey," Pepper choked out, and she flung herself to him, sobbing in earnest. Rhodey let a few tears leak out, and his grim line of a mouth wobbled into a pained grimace, trying to hold back sobs of his own. "Rhodey. It's Tony. Oh my Gosh. A fucking car accident and oh shit. Tony." This time, Rhodey couldn't hold back the tears gushing out.
Just as Rhodey was about to calm down, J.A.R.V.I.S's voice filtered through. "Mr. Rogers, please move to where Dr. Banner currently is. Dr. Banner, please move next to Miss Romanoff. Miss Potts, please remain where you are. Mr. Barton, please exchange places with Mr. Odinson. Mr. Odinson, please exchange places with the Iron Patriot. Thank you. Remain in that position."
This was it. The gift. Hearts breaking with sorrow and anticipation, the group leaned in as J.A.R.V.I.S. suddenly projected a blue blurry object. "And so it begins," said J.A.R.V.I.S. ominously and the object moved and became much, much clearer.
It was Tony.
He was grinning, smiling as if nothing had ever happened to him. As if he hadn't been driving back to greet the Avengers with a package filled with pop-tarts, shawarma, and pastries for a celebratory snack for defeating yet again another villain. Tony was looking at them with eyes so full of life, like the car crash had never happened and that the drunk driver hadn't been nearly killed by the Avengers the moment they laid eyes on him. He was alive, breathing through a healthy pair of lungs, his arc reactor still shining bright and blue and this was a dream. Bruce closed his eyes and pinched himself, but it only reminded him of Tony.
It was then that Tony started talking. "Hey guys," he said, grinning a bit awkwardly now. "So, uh, this is my gift. J.A.R.V.I.S., Dummy, You, and Butterfingers, helped, right boys?" A chorus of odd whirring noises responded back. "That's my boys," said Tony proudly. He looked at them right in the eye, and Fury almost lost his stoic mask. "So, Fury," said Tony conversationally. "Ima start with you. Got my call, came over here because how the heck was I still calling you when I'm dead, right? Well, these are my last words to you. You're the spy of spies. The ace of all aces. You want something, you get it done. You have connections, and you sure as hell know how to make a life miserable, but lemme tell you something." Tony leaned in, and Fury fought with the desire to feel Stark's hand, to see if he was real or not. "Power corrupts. Don't you dare get corrupted Nicholas Fury. Don't you dare turn out to be another Howard Stark." Fury's jaw worked. "I trusted in you. Sorta. Okay, just a teensy bit, but that's a lot for me. You have to promise me that you'll help the world be a better place. A place where Stark weapons aren't existing," he added with a rueful smile. "Give a man his dying wish, yeah?"
Fury growled in his throat. "Still making jokes till the day he dies," he muttered, shaking his head. A fond smile escaped, but he quickly stifled it.
Tony turned to Maria. "Maria, babe, keep him sane for me. Help him make the right decisions, and if you feel in your gut that he's doing something wrong, don't hesitate." Tony had a deadly look in his eye, one he rarely had, and Maria nodded. Then, she stopped herself, because she was reminded that this was only a hologram of Tony. Not the real one. She made a move to go away but Tony's voice held her in place. "Tasha. Natasha. Nat. Natalie. Natashalie…" Tony made a thoughtful noise. "What do you want me to call you?"
"Natashalie," whispered Natasha before she had a chance to hold it in. That was Tony's nickname for her, and she just couldn't help but feel immense sorrow that from now on, no one was going to call her that with such a fond voice as Tony's.
"Natashalie," decided Tony, as if he heard Natasha. "I like Natashalie. Reminds me back when you were Natalie Rushman," he added, grinning and winking. "So, Natashalie. Where do I start? You deceived me, literally obliterated my trust, lied to Bruce, pulled a gun on him, got lots of red in your ledger-yes, I know about that…wow. Where does it all end?" he asked dramatically. Natasha did her best not to look hurt, but Tony's next words made her slip her mask. "But the thing is, despite all that…I love you."
What?
"Not in the way I love Pepper, of course, but…in a…family-like way." It was obvious that the word 'family' was new on Tony's lips. "You're strong, you're stubborn, you're deadly, and you can be really funny when you want to be. Remember Disneyworld?" Natasha couldn't help it: she let out a stray tear. "I remember how you literally shoved me to the seat next to you and started hysterically screaming as the roller coaster moved this way and that. It was fun, wasn't it? But…the most disappointing thing for me, was when you put your mask back on." Tony sighed, his eyes suddenly worn and tired. "It was amazing, seeing the real Natasha Romanoff without her disguise. It was exhilarating. I loved it. Didn't you, Natashalie?" Natasha was horrified to know that she had made a low, soft, keening noise. Clint squeezed her hand. "Promise me you'll let that mask slip once in a while. Clint at least deserves to see it. Because, you know, Clintasha and all?" Tony let out a laugh and Clint's hand on Natasha's faltered. She glanced at him and saw his eyes suspiciously shiny. "You'd probably beat the living shit out of me if I tell you that I prompted a particularly dirty fanfic-yes, my friends, people actually make stories about us-to a writer. Hot as hell. Clint, you should read it. Might give you some pointers." Tony winked at him and Clint choked.
"Sooo…" for a moment, Tony looked a bit awkward, but he quickly covered it with an overconfident grin. "Promise me. Okay? Okay. Whoa, I just realized that I sound like that movie. Or book. What was it? Right. The Fault in Our Stars. Okay. Getting a bit off-topic here, but yeah. So. Moving on. Clint! My prank buddy, my brobro, Clint! How you doin' buddy? Okay, no. That was a stupid question since I won't be able to hear you and all that shit. Whatever. Clint, remember those arrows I made? Look at them in the sun. Go to the roof on the Avengers Tower and check it out. I promise you'll like it. Now, for you, I'm going to make you swear that you'll treat Natashalie with some respect. You already do, I know, but come on. Love her. Go to her in her troubled times. Take her to Disneyworld and remember to bring a barf bag. Promise me, ol' pal. Yeah? Okay." Tony grinned at Clint and showed him two tickets to Disneyworld. He waggled his brows and Clint laughed and cried at the same time.
"Now, for Thor. H'oh boy. Listen bud, I got a friend of mine, and he's super good at cooking. He'll help you. Now, what I want you to promise, is to never make a bug-infested…thing in my kitchen and force someone to eat it. Please," Tony begged. He actually seemed a bit nauseas. "Don't ever subject that kind of torture to someone," he shuddered.
Despite knowing that this really wasn't Tony, and that he was probably already on his way to Hel or something, Thor grinned widely and bellowed, "INDEED MAN OF IRON! I SHALL HEED YOUR WISE WORDS AND BAKE DELICIOUS MEALS IN YOUR MAGNIFICENT KITCHEN!"
Tony continued on. "So yeah. Gonna miss you and all Point Break. Yeah? Keep Hulk in check and don't beat him up too badly. Say hi to Loks for me," added Tony with a wicked grin. He and Loki had sprung surprisingly close when Loki was granted a 'second chance'.
Loki would be devastated beyond repair if he learned Tony's fate, thought Thor sadly. Loki had taken a trip around the world to prove to Tony that he could ride a car around the world in eighty days. He would come back, triumphant, only to find his best friend gone and dead. Thor lowered his face, tears brushing his beard. Tony didn't notice. He simply moved on.
"Let's not forget Capsicle." Tony turned to Steve and smiled a heart-melting smile. "Rogers," he said, "when I first saw you, I thought you were a grade A asshole. Like, seriously man. Drop the attitude," huffed Tony. Steve wanted to laugh, because Tony was asking him to drop an attitude? He'd never live this dow-oh. That's right. Tony's dead. "But, you know, despite the prudish stuff and the gazillion broken down punching bags, you're a pretty good guy Steve. Keep the team together. Watch out for them. Now, more than ever, they need a hero. A leader." Tony looked uncharacteristically soft. "Oh, and Steve…" he hesitated. "Steve. Thank you. For the picture," Tony added for clarification. Steve thumbed Tony's jaw in his picture and out slipped a few tears.
Taking a deep breath, Tony faced Rhodey. "Hey pal," he said, beaming. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears. "I'll miss you. I swear. You hung and clung to me at M.I.T. and seriously? You didn't even do it for the money. You…you did it for me. Me, Tony Stark. Shit, Rhodey, do you know how much that confused me?" Tony whispered. "You're the best friend ever. You should wear a sparkly pink board hung over your neck that says, TONY'S BFF. Seriously bro. That'd be awesome." Tony grinned and Rhodey slumped down on the floor, Pepper rubbing his back and crying. "Keep America safe, Iron Patriot. And…uh, by the way? I still totally like War Machine better. Cause it is. Know why? Cause I named it." Tony seemed very proud.
"Okay. So, last one is…" Tony pretended to check some notes. He brightened. "Virginia Potts!" He stepped closer to her and Pepper cried harder. She reached out to hold his jaw, to feel warm skin, but her hand passed through. This made her sob even more. "You don't even know what you do to me, Pep," he said softly, suddenly somber. "You…you're amazing. To put up with my shit every year, to understand my bitchiness, and shit babe. You…you're an angel. Remember the incident with Extremis?"
Pep managed a strangled laugh. "How can I forget?" she told him, as if forgetting that Tony wasn't there.
"Wow. I didn't think you'd make badass look so hot. Seriously." Tony laughed. He reached out his arms and Pepper ran to him, hugging him, only to wrap a gust of air. Tony sighed. "Right. Keep forgetting that you're not here right now." He smiled wistfully. "You're on a business trip. To Hong Kong."
Pepper cried. "I'm sorry Tony," she stuttered through tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone. I'm sorry," she repeated.
Tony heaved a sigh and all was silent. He raised a hand and cupped it, as if holding a cheek. Pepper instantly leaned towards it, crying and shaking and just longing to feel Tony's calloused, inventor's hands touch her skin. "I want you to move on Pep," he said quietly. Pepper shook her head and carefully arranged her arms so that it looked like she was hugging the inventor. "You deserve better than me. You're amazing and so beautiful and smart. Heck, you're the CEO of Stark Industries. You're amazing and awesome and honestly? No words can describe you, Pep. Nothing can. You're brilliant. I'm so lucky to have had you."
Pepper sobbed so hard, her body was quaking with each inhale and exhale. "You see Pep, you need someone who can be there for you all the time. I need you to be happy Pepper. I really do." He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Looking up to Pepper's eyes, Tony seemed sad. "That…" Tony smiled heart-breakingly at her and slowly leaned into to kiss an imaginary cheek that was not there. Pepper bit her lower lip to keep the wails to herself and tilted her head to his lips. For a moment, Pepper was sure that she felt warm, soft lips brush her cheeks. Tony broke off and stared at her. "That will be all, Miss Potts," he finally said. Pepper buried her face in her hands and collapsed.
Tony sighed, turning to regard the Avengers. "The gift," he said, and repeated the word. "The gift. Do you know what my gift to you is?" Tony smiled a bit. His eyes were soft and warm and sad. "This is my gift to you," Tony whispered. He lifted his arms and immediately, millions of pictures swirled around the group. Pictures of Tony and Pepper sharing their first kiss, smiling shyly. Pictures of Tony and Steve bickering. Pictures of Fury yelling at Tony and Tony just rolling his eyes. Pictures of him poking Bruce, pictures of Tony and Clint lying on the floor, laughing so hard at the pranks they pulled. Pictures of Tony screaming in fear and Natasha screaming in excitement at the roller coaster. Pictures of everything. "Don't waste your life," Tony said, voice echoing. He stared at all of them, smiling. "Live like every day is your last day. I did, didn't I?"
And yes, Tony did.
"Bye guys," Tony whispered, voice fading and his hologram blurring to that unrecognizable shape once more. The pictures continued to swirl, but it slowed down and then slowly disappeared. All was silent.
"What do we do now?" whispered Clint helplessly. No one answered.
Finally, Pepper stood up. She wiped the tears from her face. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked, voice a bit dead as she stared at the spot Tony had been. "We live life," she continued. "We live life to the fullest. Like every day is your last day, we just need to live, as Tony said. From what I've learned, you don't fight Tony logic. You just go with the flow."
They all nodded, even Maria and Fury. "That's it then," Steve said. His eyes shot up, determined and red rimmed. "Our next mission is obvious," he told them all. "Live life. Live full to its fullest."
And the clouds parted to reward them with a warm beam of sunlight. "Live life," Steve repeated.
That's it Capsicle.
Steve whipped his head around. Tony?! Was that Tony's voice? He lingered for some more after the others left and was disappointed.
"Okay Tony," he said, eyes on the sky. "We'll live life to its fullest."
After he'd gone, a gentle breeze wafted through the open windows that exposed the big sky in all its glory. It ruffled the little note that Tony had painstakingly wrote for clues. This one read,
Don't forget to visit the shawarma joint once in a while.
By the time the Avengers found it, the windows were closed and a basket of pop-tarts, shawarma, and pastries lay next to the note.
Author's Note: This was pretty long. So, in case you didn't find out, the pop-tarts, shawarma, and pastries are what Tony was bringing for the celebratory snack. Yeah. Just added that in. I wrote this and I honestly had no idea where it was going. It shaped itself. What do you think of it? Please review!