Slowly Falling, a walking dead fanfic

Hi guys! This oneshot is basically an AU set in Alexandria where Rick's group and Philip never crossed paths. He still did everything he did in season three when he was The Governor, but the war was with another group that was not Rick's. However, the exact same events still occurred, i.e. a woman from that group killing Penny, him shooting all his men, etc.

And every one from Rick's group still died, i.e. Hershel, etc. from seasons 1-5 that died on the show. Anyway I hope people like this. It is all completed, lol, and I do like how it turned out. It was bugging me once I had the idea. so I finally had to write it. Although it was 57 pages in Word...ack! So prepare yourselves for a long piece of awfulness, lol.

And fear not my Black Roses readers...I will finally be updating again, since I can finally concentrate on that again now I got this out of the way! :D Anyway I do hope people like this. Enjoy. :D

Beth smiled brightly at the warm sun and the white, puffy clouds in the sky. It helped that everything in Alexandria was always bright and cheery and wonderful; always safe. And being here, she finally was happy, again. Not that she hadn't been happy before, with Rick's sweet kisses, and strong arms around her, holding her to him every night, always keeping her safe, but…her heart would always be broken by what had happened before Alexandria, before they all had found a safe haven after so very long, after the prison…and she knew she never would be over losing her daddy.

The prison had held for a very, very long time. But, in time, Rick had taken in a large group of outsiders who had happened on the prison, and who had needed a safe place to stay and live. Luckily, they had all been good people, and they all couldn't have been happier. Things had been fine for a good while. But then had come the terrible sickness, with so many mouths living in the prison. The sickness that had hit her brother-in-law, Glenn, and the sickness that had caused her to fear for all of her family and friends, especially her daddy, as he'd tried his best in a futile attempt to nurse the sick back to health, at the risk of his own life.

Thankfully, the sickness had been eradicated, thanks to a small group, led by Daryl, who had gotten life-saving supplies. Glenn had recovered, and so had everyone who had been infected, and things, once again, had been fine.

But…one of the little girls who had been in the group of outsiders had been sick, and nobody at all had noticed until it was too late what she had been doing. She had been gradually feeding Walkers, with rats and other small animals, and she had also been fiddling with the prison fences, in an attempt to bring what she thought were her harmless friends in with the rest of them. She had thought that the Walkers were their friends, and that she could prove they would not hurt them if she could only bring the fences to fall.

It still brought tears to Beth's eyes, the memory of that day. She had been awoken one morning by lots of screaming and panic and tears. Indeed, all the fences had finally fallen, and without them, the prison was a ticking time-bomb. They had lost so many that day…Merle…Andrea…Michonne…Carl…and her daddy, arguably the most painful loss.

The majority of the outsiders had perished as well. And they had all been separated, and for awhile it had just been she and Rick and Judith on the run, following railroad tracks all the way to a mysterious promised sanctuary called Terminus.

But, miraculously…they all had been reunited, once more, at Terminus, only to find Terminus was not the promised safe haven they had all thought it would be. The people of Terminus had been bloodthirsty cannibals, and miraculously, they had been able to escape.

They had come across a church, once again a family, only to run in, once again, with the people of Terminus, hungry for revenge. She could still vividly remember hiding in a room in the church, teary eyed and clutching Judith for dear life, heart in her throat for her love, Rick, and her family, as Rick and everyone else had massacred them.

And then…after the threat of Terminus had finally been eliminated, then had come the wandering…the endless, endless wandering…even having to resort to eating dogs one day, for lack of food, and it had all come to a head one night after being trapped in a barn in a rainstorm, Walkers trying to break in.

A mysterious man called Aaron, a recruiter for a place called Alexandria, had been following them, and had insisted that this new place would be a perfect fit for them, and they, in turn, would all be perfect for it. But this new place was also in Virginia, not Georgia, and it would be up to them to take the risk.

And so they had…and thankfully, it was every bit as wonderful as Beth had hoped. Here, she could breathe. Here, she could be happy again, and safe, and feel the pain erased every single day she held sweet-smelling, colorful flowers in her hands, and every single time she and Rick kissed…every single day they all were safe, and happy, and protected.

They had been here almost six months, and they all loved it. Of course, at first it had been a little odd, fitting in after being so wild for so long, but finally, they had fit in, and they never would look back.

Beth smiled a little as she passed Judith, sitting on a blanket as a large number of people dug, and she blew a kiss, mindful not to drop the plate of chocolate-chip cookies she had baked for everyone, and which was quickly disappearing.

No…despite all the pain and heartbreak she had experienced ever since the world had turned, Beth was still much the same. Happy…cheerfully optimistic…and bright and caring, and she had never looked back.

She breathed in deep, smiling, and looked around. She had given nearly everyone a cookie…except…

Oh. Her attention was caught by a man she knew she had not seen before…and whom she certainly had not offered sustenance…

He looked about the same age as Rick…maybe just a little younger…and he was very tall, and slender. He had brown hair, and, curiously, just one eye. He wore an eye-patch to cover where his other eye had once been. Struck, she simply stared at him. Unlike the other people, he was alone, and nobody talked to him. No…he simply was digging all by himself, and nobody at all made an effort to engage him in conversation, or laugh and joke with him…Everyone in Alexandria was very nice, and they all were very close. So it struck her as even more strange…somehow her heart bled for him.

And…strangely, she got the impression he preferred it that way…to be all by his lonesome…for some odd reason.

The longer she stared, the sorrier she felt for him, and then, she finally found herself walking over to him, smiling brightly the whole time. Everyone deserved kindness, no matter who they were, and she certainly wasn't going to let the fact that nobody else was talking to him keep her from doing the same.

At long last she finally reached the edge of the area where he was alone, and finally reached him. She smiled again, a little wider, and said, "Hello. I'm Beth Greene. I don't think we've met."

And he seemed to start, just a bit, slowly standing up, the expression on his face shocked. And, as he looked at her, and she finally got a good look at him, oddly, she too felt shocked, as she realized he truly was very handsome. His remaining eye was a pale blue, like the blue-gray of rain falling from the heavens, and the brown of his hair truly shone in the sun. His face too was very handsome, though he still looked almost unnaturally shocked. And, though he did not speak, she did not let that deter her.

Laughing, she said, "It's all right. It's just you looked lonely over here, all by yourself. Would you like a cookie?"

Yet he still didn't speak, still only stared at her wordlessly, and she still couldn't fathom why.

For his part, Philip Blake could only stare, shocked. Nobody ever talked to him…not that he truly ever made an effort…but nobody ever really cared that he was a loner, much less cared about his well-being…and certainly no woman in Alexandria did anymore, as the ones who had expressed interest in him had not been genuine, caring women…he had been able to tell...nor had they been his type, though attractive they had been. And it wasn't that he cared…really, he preferred it that way, but…it just struck him as strange.

So he simply stared at the blonde, blue-eyed young woman in front of him, still lost for words. And he couldn't help a slight quickening of his pulse as he realized how almost ethereally beautiful she really was…Her blonde hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail, and she wore jeans and a navy-blue sweater, with brown boots. And the warm smile on her face, trained at him, was almost too strange to be believed…why would a girl who looked like her ever smile like that at a man like him, who had done so many awful things?

Yet…somehow, he was almost…happy…if that was even the right word…that she was smiling at him like that…but then he shook himself.

Beth was still staring at him, about to speak again, when finally, to her surprise, he did speak, voice a little hoarse.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I…thank you, very much, but I…I'm all right."

She couldn't help her eyes from widening and her smile from growing. His voice was deep, and soft, at present…and he spoke with a definite Southern accent.

"Oh my goodness! You're one of us!" she said, laughing a little.

He looked puzzled, then, and she couldn't help feeling a little stupid.

He spoke again. "Sorry?" he said softly.

Beth laughed again, hating herself for her own foolishness.

"I'm so sorry…I mean…you're from Georgia, too, aren't you? That's where we're all from! Or at least somewhere down South?"

And he still stared at her, still looking shocked, before finally replying, nodding.

Slowly he nodded, staring at her, that same gentle shock still present.

"Yeah…I'm originally from Georgia too."

But he didn't say anything more than that, and Beth smiled again, touching his arm gently.

"Well hello! It's nice to meet another fellow Georgian," she said, laughing again.

Yet he still looked shocked, and she pulled back.

"But are you sure you don't want one?" Beth asked softly, still holding the plate out to him.

"Everyone deserves a cookie, and you've been workin' hard all day. And I'm lucky I caught you…I don't think I've seen you at all since we've been here. I would have felt just awful if I wouldn't have seen you."

She warmly smiled at him again, and finally, at long last, he softly spoke again, nodding.

"Th…thank you," he said, reaching out and taking one. Beth couldn't help feeling happy that he had done that, and she touched his warm arm one more time.

"Well…I'm sure I've creeped you out enough today," she said, laughing again.

"You'll just think of me as the Crazy Cookie Lady after today. Or just really, really creepy. I don't know which."

His expression didn't change, but he did not look as though she creeped him out…really, he just looked as though he couldn't believe that she was even talking to him.

But Beth smiled again. He seemed like a very kind man, if a little quiet and awkward, and she couldn't deny she hoped he would have a nice day. And that maybe she had managed to make his day just a little brighter.

"Anyway…have a nice day," she said, nodding at him, and slowly, he nodded as well.

"You too," he said, still looking at her, and she grinned a little, before heading back to where Rick was now bouncing Judith, talking to Jessie as he did so. She deposited the half-empty cookie plate on the ground.

Beth reached him, and Rick's smile grew as he looked at her.

"Hello, Beth," he said, reaching out and kissing her. Beth melted into the kiss, and couldn't help smiling radiantly as they broke apart.

"Hello," she said shyly, and Rick couldn't help laughing.

"Well," Jessie said, "I'll take my leave now."

Beth laughed, too, and Rick said, "No, stay. I'm sorry…I just love Beth too much."

Beth blushed, and Jessie laughed. Beth spoke, too.

"Actually, yeah…it's fine. Continue your talk. I have things to do anyhow."

Rick said, "You sure Beth?"

Beth nodded. "Positive. See you guys later."

She waved at all three of them, and then spotted Deanna. She brightened, and ran over to her, hugging her. She truly loved Deanna, and considered her a second mother. And she and her husband were fantastic leaders and kind, fair, loving people.

"Well there's my favorite girl," Deanna said, smiling brightly, and Beth laughed a little.

"I'd better be," she said.

Deanna said, "But good for you, Beth. I see you've finally met Philip. And believe me, that man doesn't talk to anyone."

Still undeniably curious about the handsome, mysterious man she had spoken with before, Beth couldn't help speaking.

"I…who is he? I don't think I've ever seen him here before. Has he been here long?"

Deanna put an arm over her shoulders, smiling, as they walked away from the digging group.

"His name's Philip Blake, and he's been here about a year. And honestly? Nobody ever talks to him, though almost every available woman tried in the beginning. But I think they all took his gentle rejection and let the hurt turn to hatred. Honestly, everyone just thinks he's strange, considering he never socializes or talks to anyone. But I don't. Honestly, he's a good man. Made of very few words, true, but still good. And Reg and I have had him over for dinner a few times…very polite. He never talked much when we did, but that was all right with us. But he is sort of a recluse, I guess you could say."

She shrugged. "Oh well. To each their own. I could care less what the others think about him. He's staying. And I know he was out there by himself for a long time before he found this place."

Still only more curious, Beth said, "Really? He's from Georgia, too, just like us…I wonder how he ended up here…?"

Deanna smiled. "I still don't know the full story, darling, but maybe you could get it out of him. He needs a friend."

Puzzled, Beth couldn't help smiling, though she was still confused.

"Me? I…what makes you think that he'd confide in me?"

But Deanna only smiled knowingly at her, with a look Beth couldn't understand, before winking and going back to her house.

"He would. I just have a feeling."

Deanna's words, as well as undeniable, almost burning curiosity about Philip Blake, continued to roll around through Beth's mind as she walked back to the digging group. And, looking again to the spot where Philip Blake had been, she had to admit she was just a little disappointed to see that he was now gone.

And Philip Blake continued to stare after Beth Greene, almost transfixed, as he watched her walk over to Rick, and watched them kiss.

Oddly, his stomach plummeted a bit in…almost hurt…but he shook it off.

She was with someone. But of course she was. And, besides…

"Why would she ever want a man like you?"

In his mind's eye, the taunt, spoken in his own voice, as he smirked coldly, not himself anymore, but simply the insane, murderous Governor of Woodbury, rang through him, and he shook himself, continuing to dig.

Yet the entire time he dug, their encounter ran through his mind, and he could still feel her gentle, loving touch on his arm, causing his heart to skip and plummet anew every time he remembered she was with another man.

That night, Beth breathed in deep, smiling. Judith was at Aaron's that night, and Rick had had to work. She could still feel his kiss on her lips, and she could still feel the butterflies from their loving kiss before he had left, heading off in his Constable uniform. She had nothing at all to do, and she knew full well Glenn and Maggie were trying for a child, finally, seeing they were finally someplace safe, and she certainly didn't want to intrude on that.

Beth bit her lip…oddly, Philip Blake entered her thoughts again, and she could not deny she was still very, very curious about him, as well as saddened that it seemed most everyone in Alexandria seemed to shun him…

She looked in the fridge. She still had plenty of casserole she'd made last week, and it still tasted delicious warmed up. Her heart somehow hurt as she thought of him, all alone, with nobody at all to cook for him, and then she came to a decision.

As it warmed up, she hoped he would not think she was strange…certainly not. And, she hoped he would not think she was simply taking pity on him only in order to feel better about herself…that was the last thing she hoped he would think…

The oven dinged, then, and she couldn't help starting a little. But she took it out, scooped a generous amount into a container, and then put the lid on it.

Beth bit her lip…and then she took the last few cookies that had been left off of the red cookie plate, and also placed them in a little bag.

First things first…it was about seven, so she knew he most likely had not eaten yet. But first, she needed to find out where he lived, of course, so she went to Deanna's.

She rang the doorbell, and Reg answered, smiling warmly at her.

Beth smiled. "Hello, Reg. Is Deanna around? I'm sorry to bother you guys so late, but I just have a quick question."

But Reg only shook his head, gentle smile growing.

"Oh nonsense Beth! You're welcome to come any time of the day or night, believe me."

Beth laughed, and Reg yelled, lovingly, "Oh Deanna! Our daughter is here to see you!"

Beth's smile only grew, loving how they truly considered her the daughter they had never had, and then Deanna appeared, smile just as bright as her husband's.

"Well hello Beth! Such a surprise! Is that delicious casserole for us? You really shouldn't have!"

Beth shook her head, still smiling. "Ah…no. Actually…I…I was wonderin' if you could tell me where Philip lived."

Reg's eyes widened behind his glasses, and Deanna couldn't help smiling a little, too…almost that same knowing smile she had given Beth earlier that day…but then Beth was sure she was crazy for having imagined that, and Deanna laughed a little.

"He lives way at the edge, my dear. Go all the way past the town square, on the far right side of town, down that street, and around the corner, and you'll see a huge forest of trees a good patch back, and a hill. It's a very private house, and the only one that's set way back from the rest of us. You'll see it. Trust me."

Beth nodded, remembering the directions. "Got it. Thank you so much."

Deanna winked, then, and said, before closing the door, "Have fun."

Beth could only stare in confusion, before shaking the thoughts off and making her way over there.

Beth bit her lip. It was a two-story white house, and true, it was very private. But it also looked just as in good condition as the rest of the houses did, and she was sure it was just as normal as any of the other houses inside.

Steeling herself, she walked up the wooden steps, and rang the doorbell. She hoped he would at least be home…

She couldn't help shivering a little as the black trees swayed in the wind and the cool wind hit her as she looked around, and then, suddenly, the door did open.

And Philip Blake was standing there, still looking undeniably shocked, and somehow, for some odd reason, as he looked at her, she couldn't help her heart from skipping one beat and from becoming flustered…

He was wearing the same red dress-shirt and black pants that he had been earlier that day, and he still did not speak.

So Beth did, shaking herself.

"H…hi again. And I know I'm takin' my creepiness to a whole new level, but I…I found out from Deanna where you lived, and I…I brought you some casserole. I don't know if you cook much, but…I…I hope you like it."

And, still, he did not speak, and they simply stared at each other. And she couldn't help a swirling of butterflies in her stomach, as he looked at her…

But she shook it off. And she spoke again.

"I…I'm sorry, for intrudin'…I…I'll just leave it, if you want me to…I…I don't know what I was thinkin' really, actin' like I own your house and like I have a right to show up like this…I'm so, so sorry."

She made to set the casserole on the ground, feeling more than stupid and more than awful, but then he cleared his throat, shaking his head, speaking softly.

"Oh…no…I…I'm the one who should be sorry. I…thank you, very much…I…I was just surprised, that's all. Please…come in."

Beth's stomach jolted a little in surprise, but she couldn't help smiling.

"You…you sure? I don't want to impose or anythin'…"

But Philip slowly shook his head, still staring at her, and opened the door wider.

"It's fine. Please…come in."

"Oh…ok," she said, smiling at him. "Thank you."

And she walked in, grateful for the warmth. He shut the door behind them, and she looked around…there was a staircase leading upstairs, and, to the right, there was a darkened little sitting room…the floor was made of wood, and there was a small couch, and it honestly was very cozy.

He pointed to it, clearing his throat. "We can go in there, if you want."

Beth nodded, smiling at him. "All right…it's really nice in here."

He nodded, still not speaking.

He disappeared, suddenly, then, making several trips. He came back with a small coffee table, as well as two chairs, and, she noticed, two red plates, and silverware, from all three.

Beth smiled. "Oh…I don't have to eat any…I meant it to be all for you…I'd feel awful…"

But Philip gently shook his head again. "It's more than fine, Beth. Thank you, though."

She felt a jolt of surprise inside of her stomach at the simple fact that he had remembered her name…but she shook it off.

Yet…she smelled something, and, looking around, she noticed what was causing it… A, what looked like, cold, forlorn little bowl of Spaghetti-Os was on the end table near the couch.

She frowned, even more glad she had decided to bring him some dinner…

That was what he had been going to eat? That was all?

Staring at him even more, she still couldn't contain the sudden wave of sadness she felt for him.

He was obviously so very lonely for some odd reason. So lonely and broken…and she wanted to make him whole again.

Philip spoke again, softly, looking at her. "You…you can sit. Thank you, again…I don't ever get company…I guess I'm just used to that."

Beth only stared at him, sadness in her blue eyes as she looked at him. "Thank you. Very much."

He shook his head. "I should be thankin' you. Please…sit."

And so she did, and he sat across from her. Smiling, she scooped more casserole into his bowl than hers, hoping he would not notice, and then they sat.

Smiling even more at him, she said, "So…not to be creepy, again, but I'm Beth Greene…and I know you're Philip Blake."

He seemed to start a little in surprise, but he nodded. "Yes, I am. And how did you find out…?"

Beth said, "Deanna. I hope you don't mind."

Philip shook his head. "No…I don't."

Silence again, and then Beth spoke again.

"So…I was just wonderin'…how old are you? I'm eighteen, almost nineteen."

And he still looked shocked that she was even asking. But then he spoke. "Forty-two," he said calmly.

Again, she felt a jolt of surprise…he sure didn't look it.

Smiling, she said, "Wow. You sure look young for your age."

And he replied. "You seem older than your age…you look like you're at least in your twenties."

She couldn't help laughing. "Thank you, very much…I'm sure my sister would disagree with you. She's intent on me never growin' up."

He said nothing, but he did nod again. He slowly took a bite of the casserole, and she did the same.

He swallowed, and then he said, "It's very good. Thank you, again."

Beth nodded, glad that he had liked it. "I'm glad."

Silence hit, again, and then, in between bites, she said, "So…want to get to know each other a little better? I'll tell you some things about me. I sing a lot…I used to live on a farm before all this…and I love sunshine."

Philip simply stared at her, his expression not unkind, but still with that same look of disbelief that she was even talking to him.

Beth cocked her head, smiling a little. "What're some things about you? What did you do before all of this?"

He still made no reply, and then she laughed. "Ok…I can guess."

Leaning back a little, she said, "Were you a teacher?"

He shook his head.

"A cop? A chef? A banker?"

He shook his head at each one, and oddly, she wondered if he ever smiled…and oddly she wanted to make him smile.

Smiling a little, hoping her question would shock him, she asked, "Were you a stripper?"

Her smile grew as he only looked at her, and his eye seemed to widen, and he still stared at her, almost looking as though he couldn't believe she had asked him that.

But…to her surprise…and, honestly, shock…slowly, he did smile, to her amazement…and then he slowly shook his head. His response made her almost choke a little as she took another bite of casserole, the noodles and cheese combining in her mouth.

"No…I was a male prostitute. Or a gigolo, whatever you want to call it. Women loved me. I didn't do men, though…I don't swing that way."

Looking at him, he was still smiling, and Beth couldn't help grabbing a napkin, covering her mouth, making sure she swallowed.

Regaining her composure, she patted her heart a little, and laughed.

"Oh goodness…that's certainly excitin'" she said, blushing a little, even though she knew he was likely joking.

And he shook his head at her, still smiling. "You should have seen your face…for a moment there you actually believed me. Admit it."

And Beth couldn't help laughing again. "Oh, alright…so I did for like one second."

And he laughed again. "No…I worked in insurance," he said softly, slowly shaking his head.

Beth smiled again, happy to have learned something concrete about him.

"Insurance…that's very excitin' to learn! Did you like it?" she asked brightly.

He shrugged, his expression going back to normal. "It was alright, I guess," he said softly, and then he did not speak again.

Looking at him more, somehow she wanted him to smile again, to show that same burst of personality that he had just a mere few minutes before…but he was an enigma, and very, very unreadable to her.

She still stared, and then she asked, softly, "Where did you live, in Georgia? And how did you end up here?"

Yet if possible, at her question, he seemed to tense, and then he looked at her again, speaking softly.

"I…was in a town called Woodbury. And the…the man in charge…he…he just…lost it."

Beth stared, feeling sympathy for him. "Were the monsters there?"

He shook his head, still looking at her, but she noticed his right hand twitched, just a little, on his lap.

"No," Philip said, almost hoarsely. "It was a safe town, full of good people. And after…after it fell…I…I…just was alone in Georgia…I was on my own for awhile, and then I…I was found by a recruiter who'd apparently been watchin' me, and I…that's how I ended up here."

Beth nodded. "Well…at least you're somewhere safe now. And I'm truly sorry, for how terrible that must have been, to have your safe haven ripped from you like that back in Georgia due to a madman."

Philip seemed to whiten, just a little, to her alarm, but he shook his head, picking up his casserole dish again.

"Ain't nothin' to be sorry for," he said softly. "But thank you."

She nodded. "Don't mention it," she said, making sure to smile again at him, but still he said nothing. He put his dish back on the wooden table between them.

Then, suddenly, he stood. "I'm so sorry…did you want some water or somethin' to drink? I have plenty."

Beth's eyes widened, feeling terrible that he was making himself get up to do that.

"Oh no…Philip…it's…it's more than fine…you don't have to…"

But he shook his head, staring at her.

"It's fine…I'll be right back."

And Beth smiled as he left the room, looking around. And then, suddenly, her attention was caught by a small black cloth covering what looked like a picture-frame, on a small little table in the corner.

She stared at it, curious…and she bit her lip. She knew that she shouldn't look and that she would be being beyond rude, but…goodness, she was just so curious about him…and she…she just wanted to learn more about him…

And so, guilt swirling inside of her, she walked across the room, and lifted the black cloth off the picture frame, curious as to what it had been covering.

Oh. Intense sadness swirled inside of her, as she looked at it, finally understanding.

Philip was smiling up at her, with both eyes and a smile as wide and happy as any man could ever hope for, and he looked like he was the happiest man on earth, in the picture…certainly a far cry from the sad, broken shell of a man that he seemed to be now…

Her eyes moved over, and a beautiful woman with long hair was smiling, snuggling in close to him, and, below them, a beautiful little girl with long brown hair beamed at the camera…she couldn't have been older than seven or eight.

Her heart hurt even more for Philip Blake, then, as she finally, finally understood…

Of course. This was likely one of the reasons that he was so lonely…

But she was startled at the sound of his voice again, and then him abruptly not speaking, stopping dead in his tracks, holding the two glasses of water.

Biting her lip, intense sadness in her eyes, slowly shaking her head, Beth said, "Oh goodness Philip…I'm so, so sorry…I really, really am. I…I know I'm beyond rude, and I…it was not my right to look…I…I'm so sorry."

She hastily, yet lovingly, put the photograph back, making sure to cover it, and then, she said, looking at him, "I'll…I'll just leave. I…I'm so sorry…"

She passed him, then, but not before putting a hand on his warm, slender arm again, squeezing gently.

"And I'm so sorry for your losses," she whispered, still radiating sadness for him, before quickly going to the door.

But she was shocked when he finally spoke again, voice soft.

"No…it's…it's all right, Beth. I…I'm not mad. You did nothin' wrong."

Beth stared at him, shock in her blue eyes as his own blue eye scanned both of hers, as well as her face, and then he gestured to her seat again, still holding the water.

"Please. Sit down…it's…it's all right. Truly."

In utter amazement, Beth did so, honestly wondering how he could still be so kind to her, after what she had just done…

But yet…as he sat down across from her again, holding the water, she could not help but ask, still wanting only to comfort him.

"Oh Philip…was that your…your wife…and daughter? I'm so sorry…I really am…and if you…you need to talk about it with somebody, I'll…I'll listen…I…I really am sorry, for your losses. I know what it's like to lose people that you love. Believe me."

And, if possible, as he looked at her, the scars on her wrists seemed to warm, just a little.

His blue eye filled with sadness, then, and her heart still bled for him.

He set both the glasses down, then, and finally, he spoke, voice hoarse, looking at her the whole while.

"Y…yeah," he said softly.

Beth bit her lip, about to speak, but he did instead, continuing.

"I…my wife died way before the apocalypse started…a…a drunk driver was goin' the wrong way…head-on collision. I…I got the call at work. And my…my daughter…her name was…was Penny…she got Bit and I…well…she's dead now. I…I know I'm goin' to sound so sick, but I…I…I kept her…after…because I believed she could be cured, and I…I just loved her too much."

More sadness crossed her face as she looked at him.

"That's how you lost your eye, wasn't it?" she asked softly, looking at him, heart bleeding for him.

Philip simply nodded. "Yes," he said softly, but he didn't say anything more than that.

Silence hit again, and then he spoke again, just as softly as before.

"I…a woman…found her in my apartment, and I…she killed her. We got into a fight…she took out my eye."

If possible, even more sympathy hit her for him.

"The…the man in charge of Woodbury, though…didn't he do somethin' about that? She had no right to go inside of your apartment like that…why did she do it?"

Still, despite how pained he looked, he seemed to tense again, just as he had before.

"Oh…she…she had left before…she came back with this group of…of bad people that attacked us…one of the…the men there…he…he had a brother, and he…he had kidnapped a…a couple from the group that his brother belonged to…that's how she came back."

But he shook himself. "Anyway, I…that's how Penny…Penny died."

Biting her lip, Beth still only wanted to offer him comfort…

"I…I know how you feel," she said, lifting up her navy-blue sweater sleeves, exposing her wrists.

Philip stared at her, wordless, yet looking, if possible, pained for her, as he lingered on the faded red scars forever etched into her skin.

The sorrow still hitting her, Beth said, looking down, "I…back at the beginnin' of all of this, my…my Mama and my brother Shawn became Walkers. My daddy kept them locked in the barn because he…he thought they could all become human some day, and we all hoped so…especially me. But my….my boyfriend Rick…when his group showed up at the farm, there was this other man, Shane, who was unstable, and he…he wanted to prove to us that the Walkers were dangerous…well…they were all killed. And I…I tried to kill myself."

Still her heart still managed to bleed, as she thought of it…and her mother's smiling face and her brother's gentle smirks when he had teased her…

"But I…I didn't die. I chose not to. And then…after the farm fell, we…we found this prison, and we lived there for a good long while. But…the fences kept the Walkers out, and there was this… this little girl there who was sick, and we all didn't know it. She…she thought the Walkers were people just like us, and she…she kept fiddlin' with the fences and feedin' them, and we all didn't know until it was too late. I…"

She paused, swallowing. "But…well, one day the fences did fall, and we…we lost a lot of people from the Walkers. Includin'…includin' my daddy. And we…we were on the run for awhile, until Aaron found us. And we ended up here."

But Beth smiled a little, though she was a little teary-eyed.

"And you know…there was a point where I thought I would never be happy again, but look at us now. I am now. And I…I know that you must be so lonely and in pain every day, and your heart is only still in stitches, Philip. Stitches that are near ripped out and broken and mangled, and your heart still bleeds…but you…you will be happy again one day. You will. And you…you will have a family, again, some day, and meet a beautiful woman here. And it will never, ever replace what you lost, but it…it will be no less beautiful. You deserve that. You do."

And then she simply looked at Philip again, and, again, he looked shocked…

Somehow her heart skipped just a little as he looked at her…and then she grew afraid, thinking maybe she had been very out of line as he stared at her…but then, finally, he spoke again.

"Beth? Th….thank you. Very much. That…that means a lot to hear. And I…I'm very sorry for your losses as well. Truly."

And he reached over and squeezed her hand, then, and for some odd reason, she felt butterflies in her stomach at the contact as he stared at her…the warmth of his hand gently sinking down beneath her skin…but then he let go, and thankfully, he smiled again, a little.

And this time, as the last time he had, she could only stare, at just how oddly beautiful and heartwarming his smile was…at how even more especially beautiful he looked when he did…

She couldn't help smiling back, relieved that he maybe felt happy now, again, even if only for just a few moments…and then to her shock, he spoke again.

"But…oh, no. No woman wants a one-eyed freak like me."

And Beth couldn't help laughing, despite the hurt she felt at his self-deprecation.

"You really need to be more optimistic. It's the saddest thing to see, Philip."

He gently shook his head, still smiling. "No. It's just bein' honest," he said softly.

And then Philip stared at her again, speaking again. "I really liked rock and alternative before all this…and I played hockey when I was younger."

Beth couldn't help clapping her hands, beyond gleeful.

"Oh my goodness…I feel so special. I feel like you've never told anyone here any of that before!"

Again, he gently smiled. "No…I haven't. You're the first."

Beth nodded. "Well I'm glad," she said softly.

And then he spoke again. "But thank you, again. Truly. For your words…your kindness…your company…it really means a lot to me, Beth."

Feeling touched, she reached over and squeezed his hand. "Thank you."

She let go, then, and still he was staring at her, again with that same serious, shocked expression.

Yet she laughed a little. It honestly was endearing…

"So does this mean we're friends?" she asked happily, suddenly, and still he looked shocked.

She put on a fake sad expression. "Oh…you're hurtin' my feelings," she joked.

But Philip slowly shook his head again. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She couldn't help laughing a little inside. That was so adorable…he thought she was serious…

But he spoke again. "But…yes…we can be…if…if you'd want to."

Beth clapped her hands again, happy.

"Yay! I feel so special, again," she said, and he smiled again a little, too.

And then, she decided that it was going to be her mission, right then and there, to make him smile that smile more often. No matter how long it took…

But he spoke again. "I…I'm sorry…I…it's late, and I'm sure your family is lookin' for you…"

Beth started. Time had seemed to fly by, and she was alarmed maybe she had kept him from an early bed-time or something…

She stood, quickly, and he stood, too.

"Oh! I'm sorry…I'm sure you want to get to bed and everythin'…"

Philip slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, Beth…you can stay if you want…I just thought maybe you'd want to leave…"

Beth shook her head, smiling, still feeling touched.

"Oh, it's fine. I could just come back tomorrow, if you want me to."

Yet he looked at her, strangely, cocking his head. "You'd…you'd want to?"

Beth nodded brightly, still staring at him. "I would love to. If you'd want me to, of course."

Still he looked shocked, but he nodded. "Sure," he said softly.

"I'll walk you out," he said softly, again, and she smiled.

"You're quite the gentleman," she said, joking, hoping he would laugh, and, thankfully, he did smile a little again.

They reached the door, and then, staring at him again, as he looked at her, for some odd reason, again, she felt that same butterfly-like rush in her stomach, but she simply reached up and kissed him on the cheek, quickly.

And Philip looked even more shocked, but Beth nodded and smiled at him, squeezing his warm arm.

"Take care of yourself," she said softly, looking at him, and he nodded slowly.

"I will. And you too."

Beth winked at him. "You can count on it," she said.

"Sweet dreams, Philip," she said softly, and he nodded again.

"You too, Beth," he said, just as softly, and she smiled again, before finally turning into the cold night.

Buzzing with happiness at the progress she'd made with him, Beth ran all the way home, happily, but on the way, she stopped, the sight making her start and her heart jump all the way into her throat…

Staring into Jessie's house, where she lived with her children, her husband Pete having died before the apocalypse had started, she and Rick were sitting at a table, laughing over wine together.

He was still dressed in his Constable uniform, and he looked so very happy…

But then Beth shook herself, though she grew a little teary-eyed.

It was nothing…they were just friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. And she knew Rick loved her. She knew it…

So she went home, the vision of Rick and Jessie all she could see as she entered the black house, before turning on the lights.

And Philip Blake watched Beth Greene go, disappearing into the black and the cold, swirling gray of night, still only more and more transfixed, sure she was an angel. Or, at the very least, only a mere, beautiful figment of his imagination.

Beth awoke the next morning, to her shock, to Rick simply sitting in a chair, watching her. He was smiling, watching her tenderly.

She jumped a little, but couldn't help smiling, though her feeling of flying was dashed just a bit as she suddenly remembered seeing he and Jessie together the previous evening.

But she shook it off. It was nothing, and how could she even doubt his feelings for her when he looked at her like that?

"Mornin'" he said, still smiling, and she couldn't help but blush.

"How long have you been there?" she asked, laughing just a little, and he smiled.

"Only two hours. More or less."

And then he came over and tenderly kissed her, and she melted into it, like always.

"So…I was thinkin' that since I have to work tonight, again, we could spend the day together here, just us."

Beth smiled brightly. "I'd love that."

And she laughed as he got into bed beside her.

She sighed, leaning into his warm chest, and he tenderly kissed her head.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked her, and Beth laughed again.

"I don't know…maybe we could just lie in bed and talk all day and cuddle," she said.

Rick rolled his eyes a little, laughing himself. "Really? Just talk? That's it? There's really not a whole lot to talk about. Not lately, anyway."

Beth frowned, just a little, but thankfully he did not see it.

But…they had always used to talk. About anything and everything…especially back at the prison, after the pain of losing Lori had finally begun to ease for Rick. And they had talked about anything and everything every single night he'd held her ever since that beautiful night he had confessed his feelings for her and he'd kissed her in the watch tower at midnight back at the prison and they had finally become a couple…and they still had talked about anything and everything even after the prison fell and they had been on the run and they were still desperately in love yet both bleeding from the deaths of her father and Carl…and all of their friends who had died…but…

True. If she really wanted to admit it, and thought about it, between the events of Terminus and now, Rick had changed, if only very slightly. And they didn't really talk anymore…at least, not like they had used to. True, he was still the man she had fallen in love with back on the farm, but…different. Different if she was being brutally honest.

Just as she herself was just a little bit different, after everything they had gone through. But…they were still themselves, and they still were in love, just as much as they always had been. She knew it.

So she forced herself to smile, messing up his hair.

"We can just sleep, or somethin'…or sit in silence. Or watch somethin' on video…it still amazes me that technology works here, if only primitive technology."

And Rick laughed a little. "That sounds more like it. You can pick the movie, and I'll get us some food."

And then she squealed as he carried her downstairs, and she grew contented as he held her.

Beth smiled as she made her way to Philip's house once again, the night cold again, just as it had been last night.

Hopefully he'd open up a little more again and confide more in her…

She knocked on his door, and then, he answered.

He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt and tan pants tonight, and a brown watch glinted on his right wrist. And, though he at first still looked shocked that she had even come to see him, slowly he smiled again at her.

"Hi," he said softly. "I'm shocked that you came."

Beth laughed a little, reaching out and squeezing his arm.

"I wouldn't have missed it," she said.

His gentle smile grew just a little, and somehow she got the impression that she was the only woman here who could make him smile like that. Or at all.

Oddly she liked that.

"Well come in," he said. "I actually made some food tonight for us…if you can even believe that. I don't really cook very often."

And Beth couldn't help laughing, clapping her hands.

"Oh my goodness…I got the mysterious Philip Blake to cook for me? I'm so honored."

And somehow, he smiled again, though only for a moment, and then he said, "You did, Beth. But I hope I don't end up poisonin' you in the process. I'm not near as good of a cook as you are."

And, somehow, she couldn't help smiling just a bit, at his words, nor the reddening of her cheeks at his compliment on her cooking…but she shook it off.

And then she went over and took his hand for just a moment, squeezing just a little.

"I'm sure it'll be delicious," she said.

Philip simply stared at her, and then he said, "You can sit down. I'll go and get it."

"All right," she said, sitting down.

"Thank you," she said, looking back at him.

He nodded. "Don't mention it."

And she sat, looking around the same familiar room they had been in the previous night…it really was very cozy in here.

And then, Philip came back, carrying two plates of stir-fry.

Beth smiled. "That smells delicious," she said, and he only shook his head, smiling just a little gently himself.

"No it doesn't," he said, "but thank you."

He returned with two glasses of water, and then he said, "If you'll want more…not that you will…just let me know."

Beth nodded. "Oh I'll be sure to."

And then she ate a bit, only to exclaim in surprise. It honestly was delicious…and certainly better than anything she could cook herself.

"Oh my goodness! This is delicious. Thank you," she said, and then she couldn't help laughing. Her mouth was full. He probably thought she was even more of a weirdo.

Swallowing, she took a drink of water, and then said, "I'm sorry for talkin' with my mouth full…I tend to do that sometimes when the food is really good. But this is delicious, Philip. Truly."

Looking at him, he still only stared, his expression serious, and then he said, "Thank you. But it's really not that great."

Beth shook her head. "You are too modest. Can't you just accept the compliment?"

But she smiled, hoping he'd know she was only joking, and then he slowly smiled again, just a little.

"Sure. I guess this one time."

She laughed a little, and then they ate in silence for awhile.

Beth looked up at him, then, in between bites, only to notice he had been staring at her…

She grew a little flustered, reddening a little, but said, "Do I have somethin' on my face? Wouldn't be the first time."

Philip seemed to start, and then said, quickly, though still quietly, "Oh, no. No. I'm sorry."

Beth smiled again, then. "It's all right. So…I hope I'm not bein' rude, Philip, but I would love to know a little more about you. You're very fascinatin' to be around."

The blue of his one remaining eye never left her face, but then he slowly shook his head.

"No…no I'm really not…but thank you. You're the interestin' one, Beth."

Beth laughed. "Then clearly you don't know me very well…not that you do, though."

She bit her lip. And then, she looked at him again.

"In high school I loved to ice skate, before all of this. I even thought about bein' a professional some day. Or a nurse, if that wouldn't have worked out. I always loved helpin' people."

Philip nodded. And then he spoke again softly.

"I think you would have been a good counselor…you sure know how to reach people."

Beth stared at him, the sweetness of his compliment sinking down inside her…and then she softly said, "Thank you so much. That's probably the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

But he shook his head, averting his gaze from her. "It's just the truth. There's really nothin' to be thankin' me for."

She smiled again, about to speak, but then, he once again shocked her.

"I always used to love sports…and Halloween. That was always my favorite holiday."

And then he smiled, a little, and again, she felt her heart somewhat skip a bit, before he looked at her again.

"I also loved swimmin' besides hockey…and I can relate. I know figure skatin' is a lot different, but skatin' itself was always fun."

Yet still he continued to talk, leaving her even more surprised…

"I didn't have a very good relationship with my father growin' up…honestly, I couldn't stand him…but I sure loved my mother. And I always used to love horror movies and books and things like that."

Beth smiled, still entirely happy that she was getting him to open up more to her, if only gradually…

She spoke, then. "I always loved fairy tales and romances…that type of stuff. And musicals, too, if we're just talkin' movies."

Philip smiled a little again, gently.

"My favorite band was Bush. I went to a lot of their concerts."

She smiled again, glad she knew that band.

"I always liked their songs…they had a lot of good ones," she said, and he nodded, before taking another sip of water.

Their conversation lulling just a little, Beth looked at him again, before taking another bite of food.

And then he spoke once again, surprising her yet again.

"I…hope I'm not bein' rude, but…what was your favorite subject in school?"

And Beth laughed, still gently amused that he thought he'd be offending her.

"Oh, that's not bein' rude at all! Ask me any question that you want. Honest," she said, and he nodded.

Thinking, she said, "I guess I always loved English best, if we're talkin' non extra-curriculars. What was yours?"

He was silent for a few moments, and then he said, "Science. I didn't really like school much, though I was good at it…but science was the most bearable subject."

Beth nodded, smiling. "I liked that one, too."

And then silence hit again, before he finally spoke again.

"I…Beth? I'm sorry…but if you want to…you can leave. I know I'm probably borin' you…"

But she started, brow furrowing, heart bleeding for him.

"Oh no Philip! You're not borin' me. Not at all! Honest!"

And he nodded, then, but not before staring at her for a few seconds before speaking.

"All…all right. If you're sure."

She smiled warmly, noticing how his brown hair glinted in the light from the lamp he had set up in the room.

"I'd rather be here than anywhere else in Alexandria right now," she said softly, and he still seemed shocked, but then he nodded softly again.

And, so, slowly, the evening went, he slowly divulging information about himself to her, sometimes personal, sometimes just interests before the world had turned, and she responding in kind. And honestly, Beth really wouldn't rather have been anywhere else…

He was really very sweet, and interesting, and kind, and she grew even happier that she and he were now friends. She had a feeling that he needed this companionship more than he knew how to say.

With a start, Beth looked at her watch. She had been here nearly four hours!

Slowly shaking her head at herself, she said, smiling, "I'm so sorry, but I should be lettin' you get to bed!"

Philip wordlessly stared, but then softly said, "I'm sorry, for keepin' you…you're fine. I don't usually go to bed until later."

She shook her head. "It's all right…I'm sure I'm keepin' you from more important things."

He shook his head, but then said, "You're not, but it's fine."

And then he slowly stood, and she did too, and he walked her to the door.

And Philip turned to look at her before opening it, and softly said, "Thank you again, Beth. It was nice havin' you over."

She nodded, smiling. She went over and touched his arm. "It was nice of you to have me, Philip."

Yet…the moment seemed to stretch forever, as he looked at her. And, for some odd reason, again, for reasons she could not understand, she felt butterflies in her stomach and herself blushing, just a little, as he looked at her…

And then she realized her hand was still on his arm, and then she hastily removed it, her blush only growing.

"I'm sorry," she said, laughing a little.

Yet he slowly shook his head, and he too seemed to be broken out of the trance they both had been momentarily under.

"You're fine," he said softly, and then he gently nodded.

"See you next time, Beth," he said softly, and Beth smiled too, happy there would be a next time.

"I look forward to it," she said, and still Philip stared.

Beth nodded to him, too, before smiling one more time and heading out into the black night.

And, the entire walk home, she couldn't help but think about him. Honestly…it was nice to talk again like that…the way that she and Rick had always used to…

Yet…for an odd reason, she couldn't help but blush as she thought of Philip again…and the way he had looked at her…but she shook it off.

Breathing in happily, hoping Rick would be off of work early, she was disappointed once again, her heart plummeting, to find that their house was empty.

And so, Beth, every night, when Rick had to work, would go over and spend time with Philip. And, as the days trickled into weeks, three months had passed, and they truly had built up a friendship that she truly cherished…And oddly, though she knew full well she was the only person he even spoke to like that…and though he did still have his quiet moments…he really did open up more, and no longer was the quiet, shocked man that seemed to have forgotten how to speak, as he had been when they had first met.

True…there were those odd, fleeting moments where she found herself blushing around him, sometimes for no conceivable reason, and those odd moments where she found herself momentarily speechless when she looked up only to find he had been simply wordlessly staring at her…but she always shook those off.

But…unbeknownst to her…Philip Blake only fell more helplessly in love with her as the months went by. He had never felt this way about a woman since his wife…and he knew full well he never would about a woman that was not Beth.

One night, Beth looked at him, smiling a little. He still was more or less a recluse, to be sure, but she hoped she could convince him to go to the party being held in two days.

"So…I was thinkin'…there's that party bein' held Thursday night…will you come? Please?"

At her words, Philip was only shocked…parties and social interaction were not his thing…not any more…but…somehow, as Beth only stared at him with those beautiful blue eyes and that smile that made him feel actually important and happy all the time as she looked at him with it, he could not help but to fall.

She was still staring at him, and then he shook himself, making himself speak.

"I…"

His tongue felt like lead, and he momentarily cursed himself inside, sure he sounded like an idiot.

Philip slowly shook his head. "I…s…sure. If you want me to."

And Beth couldn't help smiling just a bit, as he still looked so very unsure…

"Oh…I don't want to force you, Philip, though I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't want you there."

His heart jumped a little at her words, but he shook himself.

"N…No. I…I want to."

And Beth couldn't help clapping her hands, more than happy and more than excited.

When Beth finally arrived home, she was more than surprised to see the light on.

Puzzled, she couldn't help smiling when she opened the door only to have Rick scoop her up in his arms and kiss her.

He was still dressed in his work uniform, as always.

Melting into it, she said, "Oh! You're early tonight!"

Rick smiled brilliantly at her. "I wanted to see my girl tonight," he said softly, and Beth couldn't help but blush.

And then she laughed as he spun her around, still holding her, and then kissed her again. And then he set her down.

Yet…suddenly, a whiff of something…something flowery…hit her, and she couldn't help feeling puzzled.

Why…it smelled like perfume…and she knew she didn't wear any…

Yet she shook it off. She was sure some of the female Constables wore perfume, and Rick talked about them all the time.

So she smiled brightly as he carried her upstairs. And she was happier than she'd ever been as they made love. Yet…before she fell asleep, she thought again of the scent off his uniform, and hoped it would stop plaguing her.

The next day, Beth smiled brightly and waved at Philip as she saw him once again digging.

And he waved at her, smiling just a bit, and she couldn't help but blush a little…but then she turned away, shaking it off.

Only to find Deanna smiling at her.

She jumped. "Oh! Deanna. You scared me," she said, laughing just a little, still blushing, and Deanna laughed as well.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," she said, and Beth laughed again.

"I know." And then Deanna spoke again.

"So…I see you've actually made Philip Blake smile. It's quite shocking, to say the least."

Again, Beth couldn't help but blush, but she shook it off.

And now Deanna almost looked as though she was smirking at her…but again, Beth knew she was likely imagining it.

"I'm really glad he and I are friends. I really like him," she said, and Deanna warmly smiled.

"Well he needs a friend. And who better than my daughter?"

Beth laughed. "I even got him to go to the party tomorrow night."

And here Deanna's eyes widened, and she whistled.

"Wow! He really must like you," she said. "He wouldn't do that for just anyone."

Somehow at the words, Beth felt a flutter in her stomach…but then she shook the feeling off yet again…

"Well I…I'm glad he's goin' to go. He needs some social interaction."

Deanna playfully nudged her. "You go girl," she said, and Beth couldn't help laughing again, before Deanna waved and went over to talk to Reg.

Glancing again at Philip, his attention was not currently on her…and she couldn't help lingering for a few moments, blushing just a little…but then she turned away, spotting Rick.

Running over to him, she threw herself at him into a kiss, and he enthusiastically responded in kind. But then he laughed when they broke apart.

"What was that for?"

Beth smiled, unable to help a blush as he looked at her with those warm blue eyes and that smile that she loved so much.

"It's just because I love you."

And Rick smiled again before leaning in again to her and kissing her one last time, and she felt like she was floating.

After talking to Rick for awhile, and tending to Judith, at long last, Beth decided to go home.

Yet, on the way out of the digging site, she passed Jessie, and she smiled brightly at her, and Jessie did the same to her.

Yet…as she passed Jessie…she caught, once again, a distinct whiff of that same flowery scent that she had smelled on Rick's uniform. It momentarily made her heart crack just a little…but then she shook it off. It was nothing. It was nothing…

The following evening, Beth looked around the house, scanning for Philip.

She certainly hoped he would show up…

In between laughter and stories from her family and friends, she kept looking towards the door, hoping against hope that he would show.

Standing outside the house, he could hear laughter and glasses clinking, and Philip couldn't help the desire to go back home, and not go to the party, where everyone would only stare and whisper about him.

But…she would be there…Beth…and he had promised her. So that was what made him step through the door.

As he entered, it seemed everyone stopped talking, only to stare at him in shock, and, honestly, thinly veiled disgust…gradually everyone started talking again, yet they still stared.

Beth looked up, only to see Philip standing there. She smiled, warmly, and made her way over to him as he made his way over to her.

Yet…it was as though she was shocked as Beth took in his appearance…

He truly did look very handsome…true, he always did, but…he had put on black pants and a navy-blue dress shirt, and his brown watch glinted on his wrist, matching his hair almost.

And, as Philip stared at her, he too could not help but fall even more in love with her as he took her in.

True, she was always beautiful…but today she was wearing a purple dress with black leggings underneath it, and her hair was pulled back, neatly as always, in that same ponytail she always wore.

But…her looks alone were not what made her beautiful, nor what made him love her like he did.

It was her personality…the fact that she cared about him, and made him feel special…the fact that she honestly saw him, and didn't see through him…

But…she was with someone else. They would never be. He knew that. He knew it, even as his heart splintered as he was reminded of that very simple small fact again…

And he knew he did not deserve someone like her, when he knew full well the monster he truly was. The monster she had no idea he was, and the monster she had no idea he had once been, as The Governor of Woodbury…

The monster he tried every day to run from, and which only attacked him in his sleep, reminding him that he never would be free, the man he had once been before the apocalypse.

But he shook those thoughts off and smiled a little, gently, though his mouth still felt suddenly dry.

"Hi. So…I came."

And Beth smiled, shaking herself a little, still feeling a little shell-shocked…that same shock bleeding through her stomach.

"You did. And I'm so glad you did, Philip."

The awkwardness gradually dulled, yet she could not help but notice he was still staring at her, that same look in his eye… the very same look he seemed to give her every single night that she visited him…

Beth could not help but to blush once again, before motioning.

"Would you like to…"

But suddenly, Rick came up to them, giving her a kiss on the cheek, and she smiled brightly, wondering where Rick had gone.

"Oh! Good, you two can meet each other finally! Ah…Rick, this is my friend, Philip, and Philip, this is my boyfriend Rick."

Oddly, as she stared at Rick, looking very handsome indeed dressed in his white shirt and best jeans, she thought he was almost regarding Philip coldly…but then he nodded at him and curtly shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you," Rick said. "We've all heard a lot about you."

And somehow, as Rick stared at him, Philip Blake thought Rick Grimes almost wanted to punch him…yet he shook his hand.

"A pleasure," he said softly. "And I'm sure you have."

But Rick smiled at her, then, once more, before kissing her cheek.

"I'll see you later, Beth," he said, and Beth smiled.

Looking around, Beth suddenly grew angry, at how almost everyone, save for Deanna and Reg, was reacting to Philip's presence…

They were all so cruel. And so heartless!

Yet she paid them no mind, turning her full attention back onto Philip.

She smiled brightly, and said, "I'll get us some drinks."

"All right," he said softly, still looking at her, and eventually, they were in a private corner, the fire roaring beside them in the brown fireplace. And time beautifully wore on, as they only talked and spent time together, laughing and talking.

Finally, Beth looked around…thankfully people couldn't see them really, though they still whispered and chanced glances over at them, as they had been the entire time they'd been talking, but she chose to ignore it and pay them no mind.

She smiled. "So are you havin' fun?" she asked softly.

Philip smiled, softly. "I…I'm havin' fun talkin' to you, Beth," he said.

And again, she couldn't help but blush at his words, yet she shook it off.

Beth smiled. "Well I'm glad," she said sincerely.

"The last thing I wanted to do was make you come to somethin' you didn't want to come to. That'd just be a tragedy."

Softly he smiled again, shaking his head.

"What's a tragedy are the music choices they have here."

And Beth couldn't help laughing.

His gentle smile grew. Yet…suddenly it slowly began to fade, and he was looking at her like that, again…

Her own laughter faded, and then she grew a little flustered yet again…

Philip spoke. "I…you have a little…"

Yet she didn't understand. And then, she did, when he gently reached out and grazed the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

At his touch, so innocent, yet so very warm, violent butterflies erupted in her stomach, and her breath hitched…

Yet he apologized, looking down. "I…I'm sorry. You…you just had a little food there."

Beth looked down, the red tomato soup she'd been drinking no doubt the culprit.

She couldn't help blushing a little in self-consciousness, her stomach still in knots.

"Th…thank you," she said, her heart still hammering from his touch, and upon looking back at him, he was looking at her once again.

Philip spoke slowly, his eye never leaving her face. "You never have to thank me for anythin' Beth," he said softly.

Beth still stared…that familiar, odd heat and tension still between them…oddly feeling woozy…yet she broke the contact, feeling flustered, drinking some water.

He seemed to grow flustered as well, and then said, "Well…I think I'm goin' to go home. I'm sorry…I'll stay if you want me to…"

Yet Beth shook herself, making herself smile.

"Oh…of course. You…you don't have to stay on my account, Philip," she said.

She smiled brightly at him, despite her stomach still fluttering, and said, "I…I hope you have a lovely rest of your evenin' Philip. Truly."

Time still seemed to stop once again as Philip stared at her, but then he said, "Sweet dreams, Beth."

And then he slowly nodded at her one final time, before finally taking his leave, whispers and stares still following him out the door.

And Beth watched him go, still undeniably confused.

Yet…why was it always so different with him? Why, whenever he looked at her, did she always get the impression that he was actually looking at her…and not through her, like it seemed Rick did lately…?

And…she couldn't deny that she had not felt that way from an innocent touch from Rick in what seemed forever…from Rick period…

Yet she shook it off. She truly did still love Rick…she knew she did.

And as she turned back to the party, she felt her heart only plummet as she witnessed, from afar, the expression on Rick's face as he looked at Jessie, holding Judith. And, then, Rick slowly leaning forward and kissing Jessie on the cheek.

Yet…Philip Blake had turned to linger, one last time, at Beth, before leaving, and too had witnessed what Rick had done. And the hurt and heartbreak on Beth's face made him want to hold her and comfort her and kill Rick Grimes all at once.

Beth lied and said she was tired, telling only Maggie and Glenn that she had decided to go home, keeping the tears hidden.

And then, upon reaching home, she went upstairs and sank down on her bed and sobbed, Rick's actions making her bleed inside, strangely only wanting Philip to comfort her.

The next morning, Beth's eyes were still swollen, but she composed herself as best she could.

After a time, she finally decided to go outside, after eating breakfast and taking a shower, the cold water doing wonders for her eyes. But not her heart…

But…she finally managed to get on with her day.

True, she had avoided Rick most of the day, and could only stare witheringly at the sight of he and Jessie, once again, laughing together as she sat with Maggie and Glenn late that afternoon.

It would be dark soon, and they had all been at Aaron's house, having dinner.

But…Of course, Jessie had to be there, and she couldn't suppress a sudden rush of hate towards the woman.

Yet…suddenly, Rick did come up to her, breaking away from Jessie, and kissed her.

Or at least, he attempted to.

Yet she pulled away, and he only looked puzzled.

"What's wrong Beth?" he asked, and she could only stare, the pain making her insides bleed.

"You should know!" she lashed out suddenly, and he grew even more puzzled.

"What Beth?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes, suddenly getting up, wanting to go home. She went outside, the cool autumn wind seeming to kiss her skin.

Yet he followed her.

"Beth!" he said, touching her arm, but she wrenched her arm out of his warm grasp.

"Rick! Do not touch me!" she snapped, tears in her eyes again, and then she turned and wiped them away.

Rick sighed. "What did I do?" he asked.

And Beth couldn't help scoffing.

"You should know, you jerk!"

And then Rick grew angry.

"That's so called for…callin' me a jerk when you can't even tell me what I did to upset you!"

And Beth scoffed again. "You know what Rick? Screw you."

Yet…then Rick suddenly snapped himself.

"You know what? We are goin' home, and we are goin' to talk about this!"

And Beth was pretty much useless to fight back.

It was dark, now, and the air was cold, but still Philip walked, intent on seeing if Beth would want to go for a walk. Or at the very least, something.

He knew he was so sick for how he felt about her, but he couldn't help it.

Spending time with her actually made him happy again…she made him happy again…whole…and he could not bear to not be around her, though he only knew it would bring him heartache in the end.

She also made him feel like he was good again…could still be good…instead of the evil monster he knew he was…

She made him feel not alone anymore, when all he knew at night was the wind and the gray fog of loneliness…

Yet…oddly, he heard arguing, and Beth speaking, with what sounded like tears in her voice, and he couldn't help starting with alarm.

And so he only listened.

"You kissed her, Rick!" Beth quavered, the tears rolling down her cheeks. "On the cheek! I saw you! And you were starin' at her like you wanted to rip her clothes off and make love to her right there in that house!"

The pain in her voice made him hate Rick even more.

Rick scoffed, angry, and then he said, "Beth. She is nothin' more than a friend. Or am I not allowed to be friends with any women just because I'm with you?"

Staring at him, Beth felt her heart plummet even more.

"Oh, yes, Rick. She's just a friend. That's why I smelled her perfume on your uniform the other night! That's why you always talk to her, when you barely ever talk to me anymore! That's why you always spend time with her!"

And then suddenly Rick exploded, jealousy in his eyes and his expression.

"Oh, you should talk, Beth! That's why you're always spendin' time with Philip every single night I work? And I saw the way you looked at him at the party last night…and I saw the way you blushed when he brushed the soup off the edge of your mouth!"

Beth's eyes widened, unaware he had even noticed that.

But Rick charged on, moving a little closer to her.

"And I am no fool, Beth! I saw the way he looked at you from literally the moment he walked into that damn house…he's in love with you!"

Philip could only listen, knowing he should leave...yet…entirely unable to.

Though he still felt more than guilty.

And…yet…at Rick's words, he knew that he had been entirely too transparent, though he still wanted to punch Rick even more.

But he stayed, heart in his mouth, knowing Beth would only express disgust towards what Rick had just said…

Somehow, as she stared at Rick, Beth couldn't help the sudden dipping of her stomach yet again as she focused on the words…

Philip? In love with her? Her…Beth Greene? That…that was ridiculous…

But Beth yelled herself, finally, shaking herself.

"That's ridiculous, Rick. We're just friends! There's nothin' between us!"

Though she still felt disarmed inside, at Rick's words. And as she thought, again, how Philip's touch had made her feel…

And, at her words, Philip felt his heart plummet even more.

And Rick scoffed. "Yeah…you're in love with the town weirdo. That's what you are. I don't even know why you're friends with him…"

And yet, despite her pain just then, and heartbreak, and how disarmed she felt, thinking of Philip, Beth couldn't help growing angry at Rick's cruel insults towards Philip.

"Rick! You have no right to say anythin' bad about him. He is my friend, and I will not let you insult him to my face! He's actually kind, and sweet, and gentle, and a lot of fun, if you'd actually get to know him!"

At her words, Philip felt his heart skip, just a little, but he cursed himself…

And Rick scoffed again, bitterly. "Yeah…you're not in love with him at all. Maybe your kids will have one eye too, just like him."

And Beth couldn't help yelling once again, hate for Rick flooding through her at his insults towards Philip, though tears still fell again. And her voice quavered, and she hated herself for it.

"Oh shut up Rick! You know what, get the hell out of this house, and maybe your new girlfriend Jessie will let you sleep at her house tonight!"

And Rick shook his head, smirking. "Gladly. Have fun, Beth," he snapped, and then, finally, he left.

And Beth watched him go, the tears still falling, and then she fell into a little ball and sobbed, her heart broken into pieces.

And…as Philip stayed hidden, watching Rick go, listening to Beth sob broke his heart.

But…as he thought of her, as much as he loved her, and wanted her…all he could see, suddenly, was himself, watching helplessly, as his old self forced Beth to take off her clothes as he interrogated her, smirking at her pain…

He had both eyes, still, and he was, once again, The Governor…

He laughed at the tears in her eyes, cruelly, as he played with her blonde hair, and then all he could see was himself as The Governor capturing Beth outside her camp and taking her away, only to kill her once they arrived back in Woodbury…

He was crying as he watched himself do all of these horrible things to her, but he was powerless to move, much less stop it…

And then, the visions cleared in the cold night fog, and once again, he knew why it was for the best that he and Beth would never be, though his heart throbbed.

He was dangerous, and he would only hurt her. And he needed to save her from himself.

Even at the cost of his own happiness.

It was taking all he had not to go in there and comfort Beth and carry her back to his house and let her cry into his chest…but he stopped himself from doing so.

He would only hurt her in the end. And so, he slowly walked back home, the entire time only thinking of what it would be like to kiss her.

Beth cried for what seemed hours, before finally composing herself.

And then, she shakily breathed in. She was not going to stay here alone in this house by herself tonight. It would literally destroy her.

She needed a friend…she needed…someone… And…

Philip's face flashed before her, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to go there…

But…why him? There was Daryl…Aaron…Maggie and Glenn…

You know why.

Her own voice taunted her with the words, but she shook it off.

Yes. She supposed she did… Because he comforted her, and made her feel happy. Made her feel important to him…

Steeling herself, she turned all of the lights off and locked the door, running all the way there, her heart in her throat, tears once again reaching her eyes as she thought of Rick.

She reached his house, finally, and knocked on the door, hoping he would answer.

And, somehow, he did, and he honestly looked transfixed as he looked at her…along with shocked…and concerned…

Looking at her, Philip still thought she was beautiful, even with tears burning her eyes, but he still felt his heart throb at the sight.

Angels who looked like her should never cry…

And, at the sight of him, Beth could not ignore the skipping of her heartbeat, though she tried her very best to ignore it.

"H…Hi, Philip," she said, the tears still burning her eyes.

"I…I'm so sorry…I know it's late…but I…Rick and me…we had a fight, and I…I just need a friend…"

And Philip suddenly, to her shock, said, softly, "I…I know. I…I'm so sorry…I…I know I shouldn't have been listenin'…but I…I was comin' by your place, askin' to see if you maybe wanted to go for a walk or somethin' and I…I overheard. I…I'm so sorry, Beth."

Shock hit her, but she whispered, "Oh…oh. I…I didn't know…"

Yet… he had heard everything she had said about him to Rick…why was she so embarrassed, now…?

Yet, she was not mad, and it was very gallant of him to admit that he had heard…

Yet Philip spoke again. "I…I know you probably hate me, now, but I…you can come in. You can stay all night if you need to."

And Beth couldn't help smiling a little, even through her tears, at his usual sweetness.

"No…no I don't hate you Philip. Not at all. And…th…thank you."

She nodded, and then he opened the door wider for her, gesturing, again, to the little sitting room, and she went in.

The door shut behind them, and then, suddenly, he touched her, his warm hand expertly warming her bare arm.

Again, Beth's heart stuttered a little at the contact, but then he said, "You can sit on the couch. I'll be right there."

And she sat there, puzzled, before smiling just a little, again, at the sight of him finally reappearing after a time with hot chocolate.

"That's so sweet," she whispered. "Thank you."

Philip slowly shook his head. "You don't need to thank me, Beth," he said.

And then he sat beside her, and somehow the warmth of the mug paled in comparison to his hand…

She blew on it, absently, and then set the mug down on the table.

Then, turning to him, suddenly all at once, the tears fell again.

Philip still looked concerned, and then, all at once, his arms were around her.

She melted into his embrace, then, sobbing into his chest, loving the warm, comforting feel of his arms around her…

He smelled like soap, and…and…

Yet she simply concentrated on sobbing, and then, finally, her tears were finally spent.

Smiling a little, she shakily said, "I…I'm sorry. I'm a mess."

And he slowly shook his head, still only staring at her. "You're not a mess, Beth. You're perfect."

Again, she felt herself begin to float, just a little, at his words, but thinking of Rick only made her fall again.

So Beth spoke again. "I…I guess…he and I always used to talk, you know? And I…he's so different now…nothin' like the man I fell in love with back on the farm, and then the prison when we finally became a couple."

Philip was still only looking at her, patiently listening.

"And I…I felt like I was dreamin' that day that he confessed that he actually felt the same way for me that I did for him and we…we finally kissed, back at the prison. He was my dream for so long, and then finally I had it. And I…I do really love him," she said, her voice breaking.

"I do. With all my heart. But I…lately…I just wonder what's…what's happenin' to us. We're…we're not the same as we used to be, for so long, and I…I…I just…I miss it."

She wiped her eyes.

Beth said, "And I…I can't help thinkin' maybe the problem's me."

Her voice broke again, and at her words, Philip's own heart broke for her.

He slowly shook his head. "No…it's not you. Believe me, Beth."

Slowly Beth looked at him, and then she said, "You…you really think so?"

Philip only nodded at her. "I'm positive," he said softly.

Beth couldn't help smiling, then, though it was watery, and then she said, "You clearly haven't spent enough time with me then, Philip."

But she laughed, and slowly he smiled, too, encouraged that she was, once again, smiling.

Beth wiped her eyes one final time, then, smiling.

"Goodness…this is so embarrassin,'" she said, laughing just a little.

"I'm truly sorry, Philip," she said once again.

Yet Philip could only stare, honestly wondering why she felt the need to apologize to him when she had done nothing wrong.

So he spoke, though a little softly, as usual.

"There's nothin' to be embarrassed over, Beth," he said softly. "Believe me."

Yet all of his sins…that was something to be embarrassed over.

And Beth couldn't help blushing a little, though she smiled.

"Anyway…I…can we just talk, or…or do somethin' fun? I…I just need distraction."

And then she got up, looking through his (very small) collection of CDs that Deanna and Reg had given to him, as they had every single resident there. Seeing that primitive technology only still miraculously worked there, residents were given the choice of picking any CDs that they wanted upon arrival…she knew she had grabbed a lot.

Rifling, she suddenly smiled a little again, her heart stopping.

Grabbing ahold of the CD, she said, "Oh my goodness. You like Semisonic?"

And Philip slowly smiled, shaking his head. "God. That's a little bit embarrassin' that you found that one out."

And Beth couldn't help laughing again, still wiping away a few stray tears.

"Oh…they're a great band! And I…oh…"

Scanning the back of the CD, thankfully, the song she had been looking for was on there.

"Oh…Philip! Could we…you know…listen to it…or, hell, even dance a little? I need a little cheerin' up."

And, again, Philip felt his heart stop at her words…yet he quickly recovered.

Was he dreaming?

Yet, he couldn't help smiling a little wider, speaking again.

"God…you don't want to dance with me, Beth. I'll just step on your toes and it'll end badly for you."

Beth said, "Oh…come on! I'm sure you're just wonderful! And I'll bet you know just what I like!"

Goodness…that had sounded dirty…

And oddly, Philip smirked, just a little, and she couldn't help blushing, sure he himself had been thinking the same thing…

Yet his usual gentle smile returned, and as he looked at her, she saw such warmth in his eye as he looked at her, that it was hard to feel depressed and heartbroken, just then.

"A…all right," he said softly.

He just hoped he wouldn't embarrass himself too badly.

Beth smiled, and quickly put the CD into the CD player. She quickly flipped to the song, and, before long, the opening lilts of "Closing Time" played throughout the room.

Slowly, Philip moved toward her, his heart pounding, and gently put his hand on her waist.

Beth couldn't help blushing just a little more at the contact, and then she leaned up and put her arms around his neck, taking one arm away to join one of her hands with his.

For a few moments Beth simply stared at him, and Philip only stared at her, before they finally began.

Slowly, they began to move, and then to gently sway, still only looking at each other.

Closing time
Open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time
Turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer…

Beth couldn't help laughing a little…he was a very good dancer…and he was expertly, yet gently, leading her.

"You liar! I knew you were a good dancer! You're just too modest to say so."

And gently Philip smiled at her, and somehow, again, she felt her heart skip, again, at just how beautiful he was…

"I really do have hidden talents, believe it or not. But I don't show them to anyone unless they find out I like Semisonic and could use that as blackmail against me."

And Beth couldn't help laughing again.

"Oh Philip," she said softly.

Gradually, the conversation dulled, and the only sound inside was the music.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home

Yet…as he gently continued to lead her, his arms warm and comforting and safe all at once, she, again, felt so very transfixed as he stared at her, and could not help but blush at the feel of being in his arms…and the way he was looking at her, still…

And, for his part, Philip couldn't help but to stare, still beyond disbelief at his own good fortune that he was holding the woman he loved in his arms…

Yet…again the chorus hit.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Beth's heart fluttered, again, as he gently moved his hand, just a little, on her waist…but he had only been re-situating himself, and they continued to sway, simply staring at each other.

She could feel his heartbeat, she was so close, and she couldn't help but think that his warmth was perhaps the warmest she had ever felt in a very long time…

Yet…finally, the song ended, and the CD stopped.

Yet…still they stared at each other, before Beth finally shyly smiled, and stepped away.

"Th…thank you, Philip," she said softly. "That really did make me feel better."

And she went to go remove the CD out of the player and put it back in its case, and then looked back, only to find he was still staring at her.

A little confused, she moved closer to him, alarmed, and said, "Philip? Are you…you all right?"

As Philip stared at her, his heart was still racing, and suddenly, he couldn't control himself any longer, though he cursed himself the entire time.

Speaking, he said, "Beth?"

Beth moved a little closer to him.

"Yes?" she asked softly.

And then, all in one gentle, slow movement, he came up to her and was kissing her.

Oh!…

His mouth was warm, and soft, and, though she knew it was wrong, she still felt butterflies in her stomach and it was as though she was flying…

She couldn't help melting into his embrace, and then, her arms were around his neck…

And, for his part, Philip couldn't help but think he was in heaven, though he knew full well he deserved to die for kissing her.

Goodness…this was heaven…this was…this was…

Beth felt so safe, and warm, and loved, just then…and she…

Then, all at once, reality plummeted again.

Rick.

She did still love him, and this was entirely wrong. Entirely and completely wrong…

Beth pulled back, hastily, and Philip looked ashamed.

"I…I'm sorry Philip. So sorry…I…we…we shouldn't have done that…"

She wiped her mouth, then, near tears, and Philip spoke, looking pained.

"I…I'm sorry Beth…I…I…I have no excuse for that…"

But she shook her head, looking at him, heart still racing from their kiss.

"I…no…no. We…we both did it…but I…I have a boyfriend, and I…"

Yet…at her words, Philip felt his heart plummet again for her as he remembered the pain in her eyes and expression as Rick had kissed Jessie, and couldn't help speaking, hating the fact that he would cause her pain with his words.

"He…I'm sorry, Beth, but you deserve much better. Much better than him. I'm sorry, but you're not the problem. Rick is. And I…I know I don't deserve you, but I…he doesn't love you. Not…"

Not like I do.

He swallowed, still cursing himself.

"Not…not like he should."

Yet…at his words, Beth couldn't help herself from staring at him, tears again reaching her eyes.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew that what Philip had said was true. Rick didn't love her anymore…at least, not like he had used to.

And…goodness…Philip's kiss had made her feel so very, very different than Rick's did lately…

Yet…staring at Philip, again, she knew, finally, that she did have feelings for him. She did…but…

Rick. She still loved Rick. And she needed to run, and leave, and never, ever look back at this mess that she had created.

Her tears finally falling, she said, "I…I'm so sorry, Philip, but I…I have to go. I…I just have to."

And then she ran home, still crying the whole while, stomach still in knots from their kiss, the feel of his warm mouth still all she could feel on her own.

And Philip watched her go, knowing that he had forever lost her, due to his own stupidity. The bandages on his heart that she had put there opened again, and he bled.

Beth cried herself to sleep, and, when at last, she did, unbidden…

Why did she dream of herself making love with Philip, and not Rick?

The next day, Beth hid out, making sure not to come in contact at all with Rick…or…if possible…Philip.

Their kiss was all that she could think of, and she tried, tirelessly, to banish it from her mind.

Yet, thankfully, Deanna offered a safe haven, and she was helping her, as she so often did, organize things in her home, while Reg worked.

The day was gray and cold, and rain was imminent, but despite this, Deanna and Reg's home was warm and inviting, and offered a welcome escape from all of her embarrassment and hurt.

Deanna spoke again. "I hate to leave you, darling, but I'll be right back. I just have to go take care of something. But are you absolutely sure you're all right? You just seem…hurt today, Beth. If something's bothering you, you can tell me. I love you like the daughter I never had, dear, and I want you to tell me if something is wrong."

Beth smiled, despite just how tempting it was to spill absolutely everything out.

But she only said, "That's sweet, but I'm fine. Really."

She smiled even wider, then, hoping her smile would be convincing, and, thankfully, Deanna seemed to accept the answer.

Deanna patted her arm, then, and said, "All right. I'll be right back, Beth."

Beth nodded, and then as she heard the door close behind her, she only continued organizing files and tapes.

Yet…as she got up, upon finishing the current box, her attention was suddenly caught by an entirely new box on the shelf.

She put the box she had just finished back on the shelf, and looked.

Deanna's neat, loopy handwriting clearly marked: "Entrance Interviews."

She had missed this box…and so she got to work organizing it.

Yet…as she neared finishing it, suddenly Beth's heart stopped and she felt, once again, the violent fluttering of what seemed a near hundred butterfly wings…

She lifted the tape out, her heart now skipping at the name on it.

"P. Blake."

Now…oh now, all she could think about was she and Philip's kiss, once again…but she forced those thoughts down as best she could…those dangerous, dangerous thoughts…

Yet…as she stared at the tape, she was stricken by curiosity once again…

So…she made herself put the tape in, and watch it.

It started, and she could not help but be shocked as Philip finally came into view.

Yet…goodness…he looked so different here…

His brown hair was long, here, unlike now, and his face was not clean-shaven, as it was now…no…he had had a generous beard, and looked, here, in this interview, like he had not showered or groomed in what must have been months…

His clothing looked crumpled and dirty…he still had the eye-patch, of course, but…

But what struck her most was just how…dead he seemed…how very devoid of feeling and life and simply happiness he was…her heart bled even more for him…

Deanna's voice spoke in the interview.

"State your full name please."

His voice was quiet, when he finally did, but he finally said, "Philip. Philip Blake."

"Your age?"

He paused, and he did not look at her…he only looked down at his lap, or at the floor, as though he were ashamed to look at her.

"Forty-two."

His voice was no more than a whisper.

"And where did you live, before you came to be here? And, more importantly…just how did you get to be here?"

Philip paused, and tensed, just a little, but finally he said, "I was in a town…back in Georgia."

"That still doesn't answer my question, Philip."

Deanna's voice was stern, yet not unkind.

He seemed to whiten, and then, he finally spoke once again, but not before flinching just a little.

"I…he…he just…lost it. The…the man in charge. I…I barely got out alive."

Deanna spoke once again, her tone softening just a little.

"Were the monsters there?"

Philip's voice was just a whisper as he replied.

"No…I…it was a safe town, full of good people. Just like…just like this one."

Yet he did not say any more.

"So…after the town fell, you were on your own back in Georgia? Just out there in the wilderness, with all of those Roamers everywhere? That's very brave. I commend you, Philip."

He nodded, still not looking at her. "I…I've been on my own for at least two months, now…I…I just tried to keep myself alive as…as best I could."

Deanna spoke again. "You've clearly succeeded. That's very brave. You're very brave for that."

Again, Philip said nothing.

Beth was still almost star-struck, her attention only more drawn to the interview, her heart pounding…yet she was shocked, as Deanna spoke, but not on the tape…but from behind her…

"He cleans up well, doesn't he?"

Beth gasped, whirling around, and Deanna was gently smirking at her.

Flustered, Beth hastily turned the camera and television off, making sure to unhook the HDMI cable connecting the two, and couldn't help but blush.

"I…I'm sorry. I…I know I shouldn't have watched that…"

Yet Deanna shook her head, smiling at her, as she came to sit beside Beth on the red wool couch.

"You're fine, darling. You're more than fine."

And Deanna spoke again, turning to Beth, who still couldn't bear to look at her.

"He has a nice ass. And he's easy on the eyes. Yes…Reg may be the love of my life, but it must be said. Facts are facts."

Beth couldn't help but blush even deeper, and Deanna laughed a little.

"You're too adorable, Beth. It's nothing to be ashamed about to admit that you have feelings for him."

And here, Beth couldn't help but look at Deanna, her eyes wide and her heart in her throat.

Was she that obvious?

And then, Beth couldn't help but moan a little, tears reaching her eyes again, as she finally let the whole story slip out.

"I…I'm so confused, Deanna! I…I do love Rick. With all my heart. And I fell in love with him way back on the farm, and those feelins' only grew stronger at the prison every day. And then…one day, finally…I…he…he confessed that he was in love with me, too. And I was so happy! So, so happy!"

She turned to Deanna, to see her only patiently listening.

"I…his wife, Lori, who I loved like a second mother, had died givin' birth to their daughter. And I…I guess, after the pain of that loss started to ease just a bit, Rick was ready to love again. And I'm the woman he fell in love with."

She wiped her eyes, but only more tears appeared.

"And I…we used to be so happy together. We'd always talk about everythin' and anythin' and he…he'd hold me. Even after the prison fell… Even when we were on the run…but…I…lately…he…he's not the same man that I fell in love with anymore. And I don't think I'm the same woman he fell in love with…at least not completely. And…I…I thought we'd be together forever, and I…"

Beth swallowed. "I…lately I've been wonderin' if that's what I really want, still, like I used to."

Blushing, again thinking of Philip, Beth turned to Deanna.

"And I…you're…you're right. I…Rick and I had a fight last night, and I…I went to Philip's house, because I just…needed a friend. And I…we danced, and we kissed, and I just couldn't breathe the whole time! And I…god…I've never felt like that from a kiss before! Ever in my whole life! And…certainly…not lately from Rick."

Deanna only looked at her sympathetically.

"And I…I do love Rick, but I…I…I just feel like somebody else when I'm with Rick, and someone else entirely when I'm with Philip. And I…I like the Beth I am better when I'm with Philip…"

Her heart stuttering, she said, "I…honestly…I think I am in love with Philip. I…goodness…I know I am…all these months, I've slowly been fallin' in love with him, and I…I just didn't want to admit it."

Her voice breaking as she finally processed the very real truth, she whispered, "I don't know…does that make me a horrible person?"

She only stared at Deanna, and Deanna reached over and hugged her.

"Oh, honey," she sighed. "Let me tell you a story."

Releasing her, she said, "When I was in college, before I met Reg, I was very, very serious with my boyfriend. We'd been high school sweethearts, and I'd had the biggest crush on him before we started going out. And we were in love, and everything was perfect. And…god…were we in love."

Beth only listened, eyes full of sympathy for Deanna.

"We even went to the same college, too. But…our junior year, things happened. His brother died, and my sister got sick. We…we were still in love, but…gradually, things changed. He turned to booze and partying, and I…I just turned to books and being by myself after my sister died. We talked less. Not like we had used to. We fought more…we only really had sex near the end…it wasn't making love like it had always been."

Deanna looked her in the eyes again. "And, one day, I finally had enough. We…we broke up, and oh god, did it hurt. It did…but…it was for the best. He was different. I was different…and we both wanted different things in life. It didn't mean we loved each other any less in the beginning, or that we were horrible people. It just meant we had worn each other out. And that isn't how it is when you're with your soulmate."

Beth nodded, again thinking of Rick and Philip.

"But you know…my senior year I met Reg, and finally, I felt like Deanna again. The Deanna I had once been. And I knew, right away, that he was my soulmate. And I have never looked back."

Beth nodded, but could still only panic.

"That's…that's honestly beautiful…but…I…I've been with Rick for so long, and I…I…he's the only man I've ever been with," she said, blushing, sure she knew Deanna knew what she was really saying.

"Intimately. And…I…I did really love him, once…and I do still…but…I…"

Deanna gently spoke. "You may still love Rick, darling, but…I don't think you're in love with him anymore."

And Beth couldn't help but admit that Deanna was right.

Staring at her again, she said, "I…goodness…I do love Philip. I do. With all my heart! But…I…I'm scared…I probably broke his heart…and he probably hates me, with me runnin' off the way I did…"

Deanna gently shook her head.

"Darling, let me tell you something. From the day he arrived here, he has never even looked at any of the women here…not that they all didn't try…believe me. And I'll tell you, the reason isn't because he's gay."

Beth couldn't help laughing, and Deanna smiled.

"But…from literally the first moment he saw you, I noticed something in him. A change in him. A sign of life…a sign of happiness, once again. Before he met you, Beth, he was just existing. But…now…every time he looks at you, it's as though he's finally seeing the sun again after being in the cold, dreary fog after so very long. And I can tell that man loves you with all of his heart, and that he never, ever could hate you. I swear it."

Beth couldn't help more tears reaching her eyes, then. "I…I just hope you're right. That he won't hate me. And…I…do you think he's a good man? I do."

Deanna nodded.

"I do. If I didn't, he wouldn't be here. Now, don't get me wrong…I do believe he no doubt has demons and skeletons in his closet, as we all do, and that he's probably done some awful, awful things since the world has turned…but…he truly is good, and he needs, and wants, redemption and love. And he wants you, more than his own happiness."

Beth nodded, and Deanna got up, patting her on the knee.

"I'll get us some coffee," she said, and Beth could only nod woodenly, still thinking of Philip, and running to his house and confessing her love for him.

And, the entire walk back to her house, Beth couldn't help crying, at the fact that she hoped she wouldn't hurt Rick.

All she could think about was all of those beautiful sunlit days, back at the prison, when Rick had kissed her, the sweet scent of lilacs and daisies and sunflowers in the air…and all of those wonderful moments she had shared with him…

She truly had been in love with him, once, with all of her heart. And she knew he had once loved her with all of his heart. But they truly were different people now, and life was too short to be stuck in an unhappy relationship that had finally run its course.

Especially in the apocalypse.

And so she ran home, still thinking of Rick…and…even stronger, Philip, and the feel of his warm arms.

Beth stared at Rick, already crying, and Rick too was crying, the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I…I'm sorry, Beth. But…you…you're right. I…I do feel somethin' for Jessie…I…I honestly love her. And I…I'm so sorry. I will always love you, and I honestly was in love with you with all of my heart, and I will always treasure the love we once had, and the times and memories we had, and will always have. But we're…we're not the same anymore, and I…I know you love him, Beth. I do. And I'm so sorry for insultin' him, and for how I acted…I…"

Beth only shushed him, more of her own tears falling.

"Shh. It's all right, Rick. It's all right. I was horrible too. But I…you're right. I honestly am in love with Philip, and I…I do. I just do. Just like you love Jessie. And we truly are different people. That doesn't mean we don't love each other anymore, or that we didn't love each other when we were together. It…it just means that we deserve to both be happy, now, and we've both found the people that make us happy."

Rick's voice broke, and then he came over to her, hugging her.

"We'll always be friends, Beth. We truly will. I will always care about you. Never think for a second that I won't. And if you ever need anythin'…"

Beth couldn't help laughing a little, through her tears, and Rick couldn't help laughing a little too.

"Such predictable Rick Grimes. You always care about everyone, more than yourself. That's just one of the reasons I fell in love with you so long ago."

Rick guffawed a little, and said, "I'm an idiot, that's what I am."

Yet they broke apart, then, and Rick tenderly wiped some tears away from her face. He sniffed.

She closed her eyes, then, and then kissed him on the cheek.

"Go to her, Rick. Just go. Be happy again."

And Rick smiled, and Beth couldn't help smiling back.

"The same goes for you, Beth. He needs you…I can see that. Don't just walk…run to him."

At the very thought, though, fear struck through Beth, as well as butterflies…

Yet…would Philip hate her?

Rick noticed, and said, "He won't hate you, Beth. Whatever happened between you two…he won't."

And he tenderly patted her arm, rubbing slightly, before pulling away, one last time.

And Beth smiled, as Rick finally lifted his arm up and waved in a final gesture of farewell, before he finally left, leaving Beth standing there.

Beth just hoped that Rick would be right.

And, that evening, Beth finally mustered up her courage, and ran to Philip's house, the cold evening air nothing in comparison to how nervous she felt inside.

Philip felt a shock run through him at the sound of his doorbell ringing, and couldn't help but freeze for one second.

Could it honestly have been her?

Yet he shook it off…it was just somebody else…he knew that…maybe Deanna and Reg…or Rick, ready to beat him up…

But somehow, he answered, and he felt his heart literally stop at the sight of Beth there, near tears, her chest heaving.

At the sight of him, Beth felt nervous all over again, but only spoke, her voice breaking.

"Philip…god…I…I'm so sorry. I truly am, for runnin' like that…I…I'm awful, and I know you must hate me. But…I…I truly am in love with you. I'm not with Rick anymore…I…I…I just do love you, and I hope to God that you don't hate me…"

At her words, Philip felt his heart stop, again, as well as bleed, at the very idea that Beth honestly thought he could ever hate her…

But…finally he awakened again, and he finally did what he always wanted to do, and simply kissed her once again, dipping her.

At the kiss, Beth felt relief, happiness, dizzy, and love…all at once, and couldn't stop from crying just a little in relief as they finally broke apart.

Philip gently touched her face, wiping the tears away, and finally said, "I could never hate you, Beth darlin.' I couldn't."

Yet Beth grew confused at his next words.

"But I can only hope that you won't hate me, once I finally tell you everythin' about who I really am."

And somehow, her lips still warm from their kiss and her stomach still in knots, tears still running down her face, her face still red from embarrassment, as she looked at him, Beth finally understood.

"You were the man in charge of Woodbury, weren't you?" she gently asked, and though Philip whitened, he nodded.

He looked down. "I…I will never forgive myself, for everythin' I did…I…"

Yet he looked up at her again. "Here. Come in, please. And I won't blame you if you never want to see me again."

And Beth did so, beyond confused, and together they sat in the little familiar darkened sitting room, and Philip confessed every single horrible thing he had done when he had been The Governor of Woodbury... Every single horrible thing he had done when he had slowly begun to lose his mind, and every single horrible thing he had done when he finally had.

She only listened, and then, finally, he looked at her, his voice breaking.

"I'm so sorry…I…I wish I could take it all back. I…I really do. With all of my heart. I…I'm a monster. It haunts me every single day, everythin' I did… I…I don't deserve you, Beth…I really, really don't."

And then, suddenly, Philip buried his face in his lap and cried, and somehow, Beth still bled for him.

Gently, she went over to him and softly spoke, lifting his face up, holding it in her hands.

"Hey," she said, her own voice breaking.

"Everythin' of what you just told me is absolutely awful. You're right. Everythin' you did was awful. Awful…horrible…and downright evil. But…you and I both know that the real Philip Blake is the one that's right here in front of me, right now, and not The Governor of Woodbury."

Philip could barely believe his ears, and Beth leaned in and kissed him, softly.

"I…I do still love you, Philip. I do. And what you just told me will not change that. Nothin' ever will."

And Philip kissed her again, Beth feeling so safe and loved and Philip feeling more helplessly in love with her than ever, before breaking down once more.

And Beth only let him cry into her lap, softly singing to him, as the night slowly went by, and dawn eventually broke.

Two Months Later

Beth couldn't help from blushing violently, her heart in her throat.

She had never been with another man besides Rick, and she could not help but think that she would end up disappointing Philip…

Yet she shook it off. Yet…as she heard him enter, more butterflies attacked her stomach.

"Beth? You've been gone awhile from the party…are you all right? Did you find what you were lookin' for?"

It was now or never.

Beth simply got up from the couch where she had been sitting in his house, where they now lived together, and simply said, "I…I thought that we could skip the party…"

Beth blushed again, then, and Philip noticed.

"Hey," he said, softly, going over and touching her face.

"Are you all right darlin'?"

Her blush deepened, and then she only said, "Never better."

And, steeling herself, she kissed him, throwing her arms around his neck, the kiss more passionate than they ever had shared before.

And suddenly…finally Philip understood. His own heart rapidly beginning to beat, he broke away, and softly caressed Beth's face.

"Are you sure Beth? Because we…we don't have to if you don't want to…I…I don't want to rush you, or make you think you're obligated to…"

Yet Beth shook her head, smiling just a little, though it quickly faded as nervousness returned, in full-force.

"No…I…I do. I do want you to just make love to me, Philip. More than anythin' in the world."

And suddenly, Philip passionately kissed her once again, making the room absolutely spin for Beth, before finally carrying her upstairs.

Her heart was positively pounding and her face blushed only deeper as she gently removed her dress, and then her undergarments.

Yet…standing fully naked in front of him, the reverence in Philip's blue gaze only caused her to blush deeper, though she still felt more than happy…

Slowly shaking his head, Philip softly said, "You're perfect, Beth. You really are…and you never have to be embarrassed in front of me."

His words causing relief to course through her, Beth said, "I…I've only ever been with Rick…and I…I just don't want to disappoint you…"

And, her words causing him to ache for her, Philip slowly shook his head.

"You never could, Beth. You'll be perfect."

And then he only kissed her once again…

It was as beautiful and wonderful as Beth could ever have hoped for, and as they made love deep into the night, and then early morning, every single kiss from him made her feel happier than she had ever felt, and every single touch made her body respond in ways it never had before…

He made her feel so beautiful and loved, and she truly felt so blessed… and as he held her to him against him afterward, Beth couldn't help but speak only six simple words.

"I love you so much, Philip," she said softly, slowly shaking her head, tears falling.

And Philip's gentle response, thankfully, was like medicine to her heart.

"I love you with all my heart, Beth," he said softly, kissing her once again, and, when they finally broke apart again, she knew she had been more than ridiculous thinking she would have disappointed him.

One Year and a Half Later

"Are you happy?" Philip softly asked her, smiling gently, as they slowly twirled.

And Beth could only smile widely, her sparkling snow-white gown as beautiful as she'd always dreamed about when she had been a little girl.

"This is the happiest day of my life, knowin' I get to be your wife for the rest of our lives."

And Philip smiled a little wider, before kissing her again.

Beth couldn't help blushing, and, when they broke apart, her blush only deepened as she noticed Daryl, Rick, Jessie, Glenn, Maggie, Deanna, and Reg all smirking at them. Daryl wolf-whistled.

Philip laughed a little, and said, "I didn't realize we still had an audience."

Their reception had died down a few hours ago, most people having left, but the ceremony itself had been absolutely beautiful, with Reg having performed it, and Philip and Beth were happy to simply still dance, even if they were completely alone…

Beth couldn't help burying her face in his black suit-jacket, his cufflinks glinting in the candlelight, and he gently laughed a little again.

But Maggie called out to them, her belly protruding. "We're leavin' don't worry! But news flash…don't start the weddin' night part until you two are actually in your house!"

And Beth couldn't help but blush even deeper, groaning at her sister's humiliating words, and everyone laughed as they all finally left.

Beth was still blushing as she looked at Philip, and Philip tenderly reached out and took a stray blonde curl of her hair, tucking it behind her ear.

They were completely alone now, finally, and Philip couldn't help but think she was even more adorable with her face all red from embarrassment.

And he still couldn't believe his luck that Beth was finally his wife…that they had even been able to get married, with the world the way it was, with monsters outside the walls at every turn…

And that…most of all…that Beth loved him the way he loved her.

"You're so beautiful, Beth," he said softly. "And I'll love you every day of my life."

Beth only smiled, happy tears reaching her eyes, and she said, "That's all I want."

And Philip kissed her once again.

Beth's heart pounded as Philip gently removed her dress, until she was only in her slip. And then, she couldn't help her breath from hitching as he gently removed it.

His clothing was already on the floor, and both only wore their rings.

Slowly shaking his head, Philip said, "I love you so much, darlin. I do."

And Beth blushed just a little again, before finally responding.

"And I love you, Philip," she said, before words finally failed both of them, and they gradually made their way to the bed, unaware that in just one year from then, Beth would discover she was carrying their first child.

And…though the world was the way it was, forever…with monsters, and death, and bloodshed and horror right outside the Alexandria walls…inside, Philip and Beth thankfully did live happily ever after, with all of their family and friends.

Almost like the fairytales Beth had always loved before the apocalypse…only much, much sweeter.

THE END