AN: I want to note that this is for a dare from Lee Chua, and all names to my knowledge are fake, and the insults are meant to stay in character for Rita Skeeter. If I have offended anyone on the Catapults or Kestrels, please, let me know, and I will personally apologize.
Why hello again, my darling readers. This is Rita Skeeter, bringing you on the latest
Quidditch game, the Caerphilly Catapults vs. the Kenmare Kestrals.
Starting off with the captains, Nancy Durron leads the Caerphilly Catapults, but one must wonder if she is rigorous enough, or gasp, if she is slacking off. One does know she is very lenient about her players missing practice, and is often missing herself, although she swears the latest was an emergency trip to Alaska. On the opposing team, is Raven Shadows, who leads the Kestrals with an iron fist. Yet one wonders if it is in fact too tight of a grip. Well, we shall know if I ever do get admitted behind the scenes, despite the three-hundred and seventy-four denied requests.
On the Chaser squads for the Catapults are Lucy Urquart, a hyperactive redhead who everyone thinks may be on something (although her teammates almost fearfully swear it's coffee), David Mentor, a stoic man who never seems to talk to anyone, and this Daily Prophet reporter wonders if he can talk at all. Then, finally on the Catapult Chaser squad is Lee Chua, a man with glasses that DO NOT FLATTER YOU! Get rid of them at once!
On the Kestrals, we have Mandy Atlantica, a woman of uncanny speed (is she part werewolf? One does never know now that the register has been dismantled), Siobhan Daley, and Karen Weasley, who true to her Weasley roots, has that eye-watering shade of red hair.
As for the Beaters, once again, on the Catapults, we have Allison "Worry" Wartman, and Katie Shire, who are definitely butch women, although some find them to be quite intimidating. On the Kestrals are Kuro Aiko and Rae Nargles.
The Keepers are Wolfe Luna and Lottie Bass.
The Seekers are the gorgeous (but no doubt brainless) Galad Estel, and the chubby dumb blonde, Grace Woodcock. Everyone wonders how either of them got into the league, even though Woodcock is famous for some of the fastest catches in a century for the Catapults, but I believe that there is Felix Felecis at work here, since no one that fat is that fast.
Now onto the actual match, shall we?
It began with a rather dreadful score from that Lucy Urquart, WAKE UP AIKO this is the major league, not some off-season game! Unfortunately, others took rather nasty hits to the head, and this reporter suspects there may be a conspiracy to murder the players. One does wonder with such dreadful injuries, but for the most part, the Catapults kept scoring (I suspect Felix Felecis, I think Chua spiked Urquart's "coffee" if that's even what it is).
The game as ended in a dive between the Seekers, and Grace Woodcock edged out Estel for the Snitch in another suspiciously good timing.
There you have it, readers. Next week, I'll be back with more darling gossip. Goodbye for now!