It was the end of another hard day of fighting for James and Sirius was sitting on the steps to his apartment, waiting for him to return home. He let out a sigh of relief he didn't even know he was holding when James rounded the corner and walked down the street, shoulders slumped and hands jammed in his pockets.
When he reached him, James sat down heavily next to Sirius on the front steps of his house and tossed him a can of beer, without giving a second thought of its muggle origins Sirius cracked it open and poured half of its contents down his throat in one.
For a moment they sat in silence before James turned slowly towards Sirius and said "hey mate, I don't really know how to say this but… you're really important to me-"
"Hold on" Sirius interrupted with a wicked grin "Are you breaking up with me?"
James snorted half-heartedly "no way, you know I love you." He paused, as if thinking, for a moment "You know how I have Harry now…"
"Be pretty stupid to forget. That little demon's been ripping out chunks of my hair since he was born and laughing at my screams" Sirius said taking another drink of his beer "you know I think he might be secretly evil, you should get that checked."
"Will you shut up for five seconds? I'm trying to ask you something!" James yelled irritably.
Sirius looked seriously back at him "Are you asking me to marry you? About time." He tried to supress his smile, failed, then settled for sipping his beer.
James slapped a hand over Sirius' mouth "I'm trying to ask you if you'd be Harry's Godfather you numpty" Sirius stopped trying to pull James' hand away from him and, when he thought it was safe, James dropped his hand into his lap.
He wanted to say thank you, or smile or… anything, but all that came out was "Why me?" he took a deep breath "wouldn't Remus be… better?" Sirius croaked in disbelief.
"You're my best friend, you're fantastic with Harry, Lily loves you-"James started, his voice flat and unemotional.
"Then why do you sound so miserable?" Sirius interjected dejectedly.
James refused to look at him "I'm not miserable. This is the best choice we could have made."
"James I always know when something's wrong with you, remember? I promise not to get angry if you want Remus." Sirius' eyes bore into the back of James' head, but he still didn't turn around.
He was quiet for a long time "I always wanted you to be Harry's Godfather… and I wanted Remus to be Godfather to the next and Peter the one after that but…" James sighed "but now I know there probably won't be a next baby."
Sirius' chest tightened in panic "why is something wrong with Lily? Is something wrong with you?"
"Not medically, no." Sirius was feeling more and more frightened; the hair on the back of his neck was standing on end in anxiety.
"Then what's wrong?" he breathed.
James stared at the empty can in his hands "honestly… Sirius, I don't think I'm going to make it to the end of the year. That's why it's so hard naming you Godfather. I know you'll be a wonderful parent to Harry but… I'm just bitter it won't be me."
Sirius gaped at the back of James' head. It had only been a day or two ago that Dumbledore had informed James that he had to go into hiding for his and Lily's own safety but thinking he wasn't going to outlast the year was a hideous thought, an impossibility.
Without thinking about it, Sirius reached forward and slapped James hard on the back of his head.
James turned around in indignation "Ow! What the hell was that for?!"
"Being stupid!" Sirius almost yelled "you are not going to die. I forbid you to die. You were the first good thing in my life and I won't let you die." Sirius said stubbornly, jutting out his jaw and crossing his arms obstinately. "You know I care about you Prongs so-"
"Hold on. Are YOU asking ME to marry you now? Because I'm pretty sure the guy's supposed to ask." James chuckled, trying to pull himself, and his best friend, from their depression.
Sirius rolled his eyes "Like I would ask YOU to marry me ugly."
James grinned "yeah I already have a wife."
"Some marriage" Sirius teased "you're already fishing for a new spouse. I know I'm irresistible but you have to try, for the sake of the children."
It was James' turn to roll his eyes "I only have one child Sirius."
"Yeah but I was so hammered last time I saw him that he looked like three kids" Sirius put his hand on James' shoulder "and you'll get there too mate, I know you will."
James pulled a face "did you just use your drunken hallucinations to try and reassure me about my doubtful future."
Sirius frowned thoughtfully "yeah pretty much."
"I love you man."
"Drunk?"
"Little bit."
"Love you too mate."