Title: Hakkai Takes a Break
Part: 1/?
Author: Laree McKenzie
Fandom: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Rating: PG13
Contact: lareemackie@hotmail.com
Archive: http://llmackie.tripod.com/
Warnings: This is my first attempt at a GS fic to date so the characters may be OOC. If so, then I'd appreciate it very much if you'd point out my faults and such. There will be Shounen Ai material throughout this fic (Sanzo x Hakkai/Hakkai x Sanzo. I'm a big fan of this pairing ^__^).
Part One
Division of Labor A.K.A Sanzo Fobs Off All the Work on the Two Unfortunates.
He could feel someone's hot breath against his cheek. It was annoying him, keeping him from fully enjoying the pleasant little dream he was having of a certain fair-haired monk sprawled out languidly upon a gigantic, canopied bed with red satin sheets, his pale, almost translucent skin just begging to be caressed.
The impeccable robe that denoted his rank as one of most important religious figures around slipped down one smooth, flawless shoulder and the corner of the monk's thin, firm lips were turned upwards in a come hither smile.
In his dream he saw himself stepping closer towards the bed, he watched as his hand reached out to trace the outline of those lips, those beautiful lips that were just begging to be kissed, and then-
" Hakkai?"
Cho Hakkai rolled over onto his stomach at the sound of someone calling out his name. He buried his head under a pillow and tried to pick up from where he had left off…
He sighed dreamily as the image came back to him…
Sanzo was lying in bed, his soft, silky blond hair fanning out over the pillowcase and forming a pool of dazzling gold. He was reaching out to gently touch those lips, he wanted to see if they were as soft and silky smooth as they looked, and when his fingertips finally came into contact with them, he wasn't at all disappointed. He sat himself down by the edge of the bed and leaned in towards the golden haired young man, meaning to claim those lips with his own…
" Hakkai!" The voice was more insistent this time, with a rather impatient edge to it. The pillow was pulled away from Hakkai's grasp and once more the hot breath that smelled of some sort of sweet candy intruded in his dreams. " Wake up! I'm hungry!"
There was a 'thwapping' sound as something came into contact with someone's head, then a low, menacing growl. " Leave him alone. Can't you see that he's sleeping?"
" But Sanzo! I'm hungry!" Came the pathetic, heart-rending wail that would have melted the heart of anyone else that heard it, had that person not been a rather frigid monk who was immune to any put on charms whatsoever.
" He's been driving the whole day. He cleaned out the room for us as soon as we arrived, and now you want him to cook for you?" There was a dangerous tone to Genjo Sanzo's words that clearly indicated that this rhetorical question would be best left unanswered.
Of course, Goku didn't know what a rhetorical question was. He didn't even have enough common sense in him to know when it would be the best time for him to shut up, so he opened his mouth, about to tell Sanzo that if he just gave him a bit of money, then he could go down to the inn's kitchen to buy something instead of waking up Hakkai, when Sanzo caught sight of the fourth member of their party.
His violet eyes narrowed dangerously as he watched the slim, red-haired half youkai make his way over to the cot where Hakkai lay stretched out. The half-breed then proceeded to poke at the brunette with his index finger.
" Did you not hear what I just said to the baka saru?"
" I heard, oh great and ever pious Sanzo. But if his holiness might just let me speak to Hakkai for a little while so that I can ask him where he's put my bags…"
" No!" The fan was raised, ready to come down against the thick skull of the infuriating other half of the Duo of the Destruction of Peace, when a soft, sleep befuddled voice stopped its descent.
" I'm awake. I'm awake…" Hakkai blurted out, as he pulled himself up onto a sitting position on the bed. It would have been impossible to remain sleeping anyway, what with the racket going on around him.
Better to tear himself away from his pleasant little dream than to be stuck with an injured and whining Gojyo later on. It was always the most macho men who turned out to be the worst babies when sick or hurting or suffering from a headache that came as a result of a brain jarring knock to the skull that could only be alleviated through a thirty minute temple rub.
It had been such a lovely dream! But, he supposed that waking up to see the real Sanzo would be better than any dream at any time. He slipped his monocle into place, just in time to catch the grateful look that a cringing Sha Gojyo sent his way.
Watching the exchange between the two, Sanzo made a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat and gave both Gojyo and Goku one last look of deep, and immense disgust before making his way back to the rather uncomfortable chair at one corner of their little room where he had been reading a week old local newspaper, totally unaware of the fact that he had been lounging around seductively in the green eyed man's thoughts just a few seconds before. " Ignore those two and go back to sleep." He advised the only person in his entourage who acted even vaguely like a normal adult.
" Ahh, no. Since I'm already awake, I might as well hear these two out already!" Hakkai swung his legs over the side of the cot, his smile already in its customary place. Then he turned his attention to the 'urgent' matters that his two companions were bringing to his attention.
As much as he might have liked to spend the whole afternoon watching Sanzo, these two had to be taken care of.
Which was too bad since the monk was always so adorable when reading something, those glasses of his perched precariously upon the bridge of that finely formed nose, eyebrows drawn together in a look of intense absorption and his lips moving just the slightest bit as those indescribably beautiful eyes of his roamed over the words written in the page…
" I'm hungry, Hakkai!"
" Maa, Goku. I'll go out and get us something nice to eat in a few minutes, all right?" The youngest in their group (appearance and mannerism wise anyways) beamed happily up at him and began ticking off a list of all the things that he wanted before Gojyo clamped a hand over his mouth to shut him up, and promptly let go when a set of very sharp teeth came down over the fleshy portion of his palm.
The red haired youkai retaliated with a kick to Goku's ass that sent him sprawling onto the wooden boards of the floor before turning his attention to Hakkai. " Oi, where's my bag? I'm going out to check out the girls in this place and I need a new shirt. The monkey drooled all over me when he fell asleep in the jeep."
" I don't drool! And I'm not a monkey you stupid, horny water demon!"
" I put it under your cot. And leave that shirt out where I can see it with the other dirty clothes so that I can take them out and wash them later on." Hakkai instructed him. Gojyo released Goku from the headlock that he'd put on him after the kid had started calling him a water demon, and then ignored the younger boy's verbal assault on his character as he pawed through his canvas duffle bag in search for something somewhat decent to wear.
Tuning out of the all too familiar insult hurling competition, the bespectacled man asked Sanzo;
" Anything that you'd like me to get for you when I go out? Maybe some cigarettes?"
The monk nodded curtly in response. He actually felt sort of guilty, having Hakkai running such a trivial errand for him when he already had his hands full taking care of the two idiots, but he reasoned that the guy was already going out anyways. " Enough to last 'til the next village at least."
" I need some too!" Gojyo piped in. " Sanzo's stingy when it comes to sharing his. And alcohol. Lots and lots of it."
" I want pork dumplings!" Goku supplied helpfully.
" All right, all right…" The brunette youkai said agreeably as he picked up the shopping bag that had been thrown haphazardly onto the floor of the room. He made his way towards the door and had just been about to let himself out when he heard Sanzo's low, slightly miffed words.
" You spoil them." He muttered.
Hakkai only smiled before stepping out onto the hallway of the inn.
" We need to talk." Sanzo declared as he grabbed hold onto the back of Gojyo's fresh shirt and pulled him back into the room, away from the door. " The three of us need to have a little conversation about something."
" Oi, oi! Careful with the shirt!" Gojyo managed to slip away from Sanzo with quite a bit of effort and proceeded to dust off his clothing. "The three of us can have a little conversation about that something later on. Right now, I'm heading out for a night out in town!" He declared cheerfully as he smoothed down a few errant strands of his hair and stepped forward toward the door.
Sanzo positioned himself in front of Gojyo in such a way that made it clear that he wasn't about to let him escape any time soon. Not until he was finished with him, at least. He held his pistol out before him in prominent display. " We're talking. Now. Get comfortable."
Grumbling under his breath about stupid, domineering monks who thought that having a little red chakra on their forehead meant they could basically just boss everyone around, Gojyo plopped down onto his cot, scowling. " Make it quick. And if we're having this whole group-meeting thing, shouldn't Hakkai be included? We should wait until he gets back."
" Your self serving thoughtfulness amazes me, Gojyo. But what I'm about to say concerns Hakkai so it's best if he's not around."
There was the sound of hands clapping together in glee. " He's pregnant!" Goku burst out suddenly, jumping up to his feet and grabbing hold of Sanzo's trailing sleeve. " That would explain everything! I'm going to be an uncle!"
" What the hell are you talking about? Hakkai is a guy." Gojyo pointed out, as he spoke from around the filter of the lighted cigarette that was firmly attached to the corner of his mouth. The stupidity that constantly spouted from the kid never failed to amaze him.
Goku waved this little piece of information away airily, as though it held no relevance to things whatsoever. "So? I know that. But Hakkai's been acting so weird lately! He's always so tired, and he sleeps a lot more than he used to. Plus he isn't being as nice as he usually is."
" You only think that because he doesn't cook for you all the time anymore. He probably reckons you're getting a bit too fat for your own good. And besides, it's the females that get pregnant, you idiot. Not the guys." Gojyo slumped back onto the lumpy mattress of his cot, shaking his head in disbelief.
" But that's with youkai, Gojyo. Things are probably different if you're human. And Hakkai started out human, didn't he? Ne, Sanzo. It's the human males that get pregnant right? Right?" Goku tipped his head thoughtfully to one side as he gazed speculatively up at the monk. He could just about picture Sanzo with a little bulge protruding from under his robes while in the later stages of pregnancy. He'd heard that youkai women tended to get a little snappish while carrying babies. Would Sanzo's temper get affected also if someone ever got him pregnant?
The red head rolled his eyes at the younger boy's logic." That's it. I can't stand being around someone this stupid! I'm going to get Hakkai to explain things to you later on once he gets back. The whole deal with the birds and the bees."
" What did the birds and the bees have to do to Hakkai to get him pregnant?"
" Shut up. Just shut up for a little while! This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you two about…" Sanzo said, discreetly massaging his temple with his finger tips in an effort to alleviate the headache that had been brought about by having to listen to Goku's 'Pregnant Hakkai' Theory.
" You wanted to tell us about where babies come from? I already know all about that, Sanzo, but I guess I could do with a refresher course. Especially when the one who'll be lecturing is such an expert on the subject." Gojyo smirked. This ought to be interesting. A monk, a Sanzo at that, talking about reproduction? He was going to have some fun!
If looks could kill, the half youkai would probably have been six feet underground by then as Sanzo gave him the full benefit of his patented 'Die You Annoying Cockroach Who I Wouldn't Even Spit On If You Were Running Around Me On Fire Screaming in Pain Glare'. " I was referring to the way that the two of you just leave everything for Hakkai to do." He muttered through gritted teeth.
" Well, who else do you think could explain things like this to the stupid monkey? You? The celibate monk? Or maybe you want me to pick up a girl for him so that he can gain some first hand experience? I'd be glad to go off and do that right now for you!"
Aforementioned celibate monk closed his eyes meditatively in an effort to control his rapidly rising temper. If he somehow injured these two, then Hakkai would be left with the job of patching them up, and he could already see the strain that the guy was in, being left with all the domestic chores like this as though he were some sort of housewife. It just wouldn't do to stick him with more troubles.
Sanzo carefully extracted his sleeve from Goku's grasp, dusting it off with his fingertips as though some residue of the boy's highly contagious stupidity remained where he had touched him. " When Hakkai comes back, no one is going to ask him for anything." Sanzo informed the two, his voice so low that they had to strain their ears to catch whatever it was that the fair-haired monk was telling them. " No one is going to ask him to cook for him, no one is going to bother him about mending some stupid shirt. He won't be doing any work while we remain here at this village. None at all."
" Is this because he's pregnant?"
Sanzo whipped his fan out from out of nowhere and slammed it against the head from which this infuriatingly repetitive question had originated. So much for restraint for the sake of the overworked Hakkai… " No, he isn't baka saru. And he won't ever be unless there's some sort of medical miracle in the near future. Ask me that one more time and I'll kill you."
After a bit of thought, Goku carefully rephrased his question. " Why can't Hakkai get pregnant then? Is there something wrong with him? How sad. His babies would have been pretty with pretty green eyes…"
The fair-haired man decided to ignore this question for the sake of his rapidly diminishing sanity. He had no doubt about the potential prettiness of his companion's future offspring, but that was besides the point right then. "He's tired. I'm sick of you two idiots taking advantage of him. Asking him to cook for you, find your things for you-"
" Buy cigarettes for you…" Gojyo contributed helpfully, turning exaggeratedly wide, wine colored eyes towards Sanzo's in a look that was meant to be 'innocent', the monk guessed, but which only succeeded in unsettling him.
" That's different. He volunteered."
The water demon shrugged. " Well, he volunteered to get up and tell me where my bag was, so don't go all ballistic on me and getting weird ideas in that pretty, saintly head of yours. It's not healthy, plus it's not very attractive for pretty boys like you to actually think. You're just meant to be quiet and look nice. Besides, Hakkai likes helping us. It makes him happy. Why should I deprive Hakkai of the pleasure that waiting on me brings him?"
" That's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard in all my life, coming from one of the stupidest idiots that I've ever met. There's not going to be any more discussion. I've made up my mind and that's that." Sanzo crossed his arms before his chest. He let his gaze travel from Gojyo to Goku, daring them to speak up against his decision. "Gojyo, you're going to be in charge of the cooking and Goku can take care of all of the cleaning. You can both help with washing the clothes."
"Me? Cook?" The half youkai blurted out without thinking, as he was wont to do, his outrage evident. He hadn't had to cook anything since the day that Hakkai had come to live with him, and that arrangement had suited him just fine.
Why did he have to cook when there was Hakkai, the kitchen whiz, around? It made no sense. Not unless Sanzo had some strange liking for tasteless stew and lumps of meat that resembled, and tasted like, chunks of charcoal.
"I know you can."
" Well…yeah…" The redhead admitted grudgingly, " but not as well as Hakkai!"
Sanzo shrugged, seemingly unperturbed. Inwardly though, he was wondering if this was such a good idea after all. He'd tasted the guy's cooking before in the early stages of their journey when they had attempted to rotate the cooking duty, and that hadn't been much of an experience. All he remembered of the one time that Gojyo had been the one to cook their dinner was a sleepless, pain filled night where he had dashed off to the more secluded part of their camp every few minutes to relieve his aching stomach.
Still, he couldn't just take back what he'd said. If there was one thing that he hated, it was appearing wrong about something. "We'll live…" he added under his breath, so that the two wouldn't hear, " I hope…"
Gojyo was about to protest this assignment one last, futile time when a thought struck him. Everyone knew that Sanzo, in spite of the fact that he was supposed to be all holy and pure and monkish, had about as much patience when it came to things that were pissing him off as Goku waiting for his next meal. Feed him enough half burned food and he was sure to back down and happily, or at least as happily as Sanzo could ever do anything, return Hakkai to his old duties.
The half youkai smirked, mentally patting himself on the back for being such a sexy, devilishly devious cad.
Sanzo shook his head, having noticed the glazed over wine red eyes of Gojyo's as he thought over his little plan. The idiot was so transparent. And he wondered how someone as good at gauging people's emotions and thoughts like Hakkai could consistently beat him at card games. He was surrounded by idiots! " I know what you're thinking about. Don't even try it. You make any inedible stuff and I'll personally shove them down your throat. I'm not about to waste supply money on burnt stuff that we can't eat just because you're so damn lazy that you can't even spare a few moments to get something decent together."
" Why can't Goku do it? And in the first place, why do we have to do this at all? Everything's fine the way that they are now!"
" Yes, for you two idiots. Not for Hakkai. He's overworked, like me." Sanzo ignored the derisive snort from Gojyo at that comment. It took a lot of effort to be able to deliver the right sort of backhand slap with that fan of his and he had to smack those two idiots countless of times a day! No wonder his arms were so toned. " And Goku can't do the cooking because anything he makes ends up tasting like pigswill or even worse than pigswill.
"Then he'll be the only one eating the stuff because he's the only one with the stomach strong enough for that kind of garbage. And why do you have to do this? Because I'm the leader here and what I say goes. No need for explanations, no complaining. You just do what I tell you to do unless you want to die. And you will die if you don't do this. Believe me. I'm very tired, I'm in need for some shooting practice and my hand is just itching to pull the trigger on some stupid youkai, or half youkai or whatever, that gets me angry."
" And what are you supposed to be doing while we take care of all the stuff here, oh great and venerable Sanzo?" Gojyo had a feeling that he wouldn't like the monk's answer. He never seemed to like any ideas that Sanzo came up with. He liked said ideas even less when that cold, chilling smile pulled the corners of Sanzo's lips upwards, like right then.
" I'm going to be supervising. You two idiots need someone to make sure that you're doing things the right way…"
By then, Gojyo was far too anxious to get out of there to argue. He was sure that Hakkai wouldn't go for such a half-baked scheme anyway. Hakkai was a perfectionist; he wouldn't let them do everything by themselves because he'd know that they'd most probably mess something up.
Sanzo knew this, so why the hell was he upsetting the whole scheme of things and making him actually do the housework?
That was sweet, mild mannered, ever-helpful Hakkai's job! Why, if Gojyo didn't know Sanzo any better, he'd have thought that Mr. Frigid Monk was trying to sweeten Hakkai up so that he could get in his pants!
But that, of course, was impossible. Sanzo was a twenty two year old monk who'd been celibate all his life, hence the meanness borne out of pent up sexual frustration. He wouldn't make a move on Hakkai!
Of course, had he been thinking properly then, he'd have realized that twenty two years of celibacy would have been even more reason to do so, but this was Gojyo. The only thing that concerned him right then was getting the horny, frigid monk off his back so that he could get some action out on the town.
~**~ To Be Continued ~**~